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BONUS: Getting up early is hard. Let our free Lifehack Goal help you by giving you daily tips on it! Click here to subscribe.
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One of the biggest mistakes people make when setting goals is to desire things based on their impulses. It’s like a child being distracted by something shiny. Soon enough a shinier thing will come along and before you know it the novelty has worn off. That is why New Year’s resolutions don’t work. You get swept up in the moment. Everyone is drinking champagne and at midnight, when the fireworks are blazing in the night sky, idealistic new beginnings appear on the horizon. Through your bleary eyed haze, all those new goals feel undeniably attainable.
Even if you manage to achieve some of those ill planned goals, the satisfaction you anticipated does not fulfill your perceived desire. You wonder if it was worth starting the new health regime, looking for a new career or committing to that course to improve yourself. The recurrent thought that people have is ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’.
Establish goals based on your own desires, not external influences or the need to please others. Ask yourself what you truly want and what will make you happy. Think about your motivation and try different things. Let your own personal experiences inform your decisions and don’t be afraid to push your own boundaries. You should also consider the short, medium and long term impact that a particular goal will have on your life. What are you trying to achieve? Do you want to be healthier, make more money, travel to a place you’ve never been, explore a creative outlet? These aren’t easy questions to answer and deserve your time and attention. Take time to formulate your goals. It’s your life.
Authority Bias refers to the way in which we can be influenced by people we look up to and make their goals our own. Decisions are subconsciously informed by experiences and the authority figures in our lives. It begins at home with parents, extending to peers and teachers in our formative years and then developing further through mentors and experts such as bosses or idols throughout adulthood. Research your desires and goals and broaden your horizons. Ask questions and seek answers from unpredictable sources. You don’t need wealth to live a full and independent life, just a broadened mind. Seize every opportunity and seek out new experiences. Find your individuality and revel in the things that make you unique. You can still find commonality with others and look up to those you admire while still retaining your own distinct qualities.
Often we fall into the trap of thinking that we have wasted previous investment of time and money into a particular goal and so feel obliged to finish what we started. You can change your mind. All learning is valuable and anything you have invested into achieving a goal is worthwhile. It is all part of the process, even if it has shown you that you are on the wrong path. Try to be aware of the bigger picture, while at the same time focusing on the immediate decisions you make and living each moment as it comes. When you aim for happiness and satisfaction as the end result of each goal, the journey you take to get there is just a detail. The end will justify the means.
Work out the difference between what you want and how you will get it. CEO of Thought Leadership Leverage, Peter Winick says,
“Strategy is an exercise in problem solving…….Goals that support the strategy are critical, but goals do not solve problems. Goals are a measure of progress. Goals support the strategy.” Strategy Is Not the Same as Goal Setting, Thought Leadership Leverage.
The steps and decisions required to move you forward can be broken down into smaller and more attainable goals; all culminating and contributing to the ultimate goal you have set for yourself, but they are not goals in themselves. Strategies are the choices you make, the tiny bites you take to get you to your destination.
Setting goals can seem daunting and sometimes we set goals that are so unattainable, just a shiny dangling carrot, that we have already set ourselves up to fail before we’ve even begun. Self sabotage, creating limitations, looking for obstacles and making excuses prevent us from achieving our goals. The flaw is not only in the goal, it taints the strategy. When you set realistic goals and are true to your own desires, the choices you make happen naturally and easily. Having self belief and learning to trust your instinct will ensure you make the right choices to take you closer to achieving your goals. Stop comparing yourself to others and keep your eyes on the prize.
Having a goal without good strategies cannot help you achieve what you want. However, with Lifehack Goal Setting System, in which every small progress counts, you can efficiently attain the best result of your desire. For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.
To start with, you can try these health goals:
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The post Important Things Most People Overlook When Setting Goals And Why They End Up Dissatisfied appeared first on Lifehack.
Usually when we want to achieve something, we try hard to build some habits, as we’re told that habits are the fundamentals of success. However, if we examine the functions of different parts of our brains, habits turn out to be something that hinder us in achieving our goals rather than assisting us. When we’re practicing our habits, we’re actually using the primitive brain, which is not the preferred one for achieving goals…Here’s why.
First we need to understand how our primitive brain works.
The human primitive brain, otherwise known as the limbic system, has developed over millions of years. Our ancestors had three straight forward goals that they needed to keep in mind if they were going to survive. These goals were:
Humans had only their superior intelligence to rely upon. Unlike other animals we did not have great strength or speed, sharp teeth or the like. The primitive brain developed in such a way to help us achieve these three goals.
When we saw the possibility of acquiring food we experienced high energy levels that prompted us to go after the food. When the potential to reproduce presented itself we experience great desire, and when we felt that we had pushed ourselves too hard we felt the desire to rest.
So our primitive brain is constantly telling us to seek out food and sexual pleasure; it also tells us to rest rather than motivating us to do some exercise.
On the contrary, the modern brain tells us to control ourselves…
The modern brain, otherwise known as the pre-frontal cortex, developed after many years trying to survive on one’s own. People decided that it would be easier to achieve the three goals of survival if they worked as a group; thus tribes were created.
As humans started to cooperate and work as a group they needed to learn how to cooperate and work in unison. This meant that it was necessary to learn control over certain actions. Social rules were developed, such as:
To respect these rules and make sure we did not break them we need to develop a new type of intelligence. This intelligence would be used to control the basic desires of our primitive brain. The new intelligence may be referred to as self-control.
So it is up to the modern brain to override these primitive drives and to steer us towards higher goals. We constantly experience a fight between short-term desires and long-term goals. It is up to the modern brain to consider the consequences of our primitive desires and to make decisions that will help us in the long term.
Habits are formed in the primitive brain and as such do not require thoughts. When we try to use habits to attain our long-term goals we are, in effect, telling our short-term brain to take charge. And the short-term primitive brain has different aims to the long-term modern brain. So the result will not be in keeping with our higher aims.
When you set out to help your modern brain achieve its goals do not aim to create new habits.
You may have tried meditating at some point in your life and no doubt you experienced the difficulties associated with maintaining focus on one particular thing, for example your breath. Trying to force yourself to concentrate on something will often prove futile. This is because we are fighting a reward-based learning process that is caused by positive and negative reinforcement. A habit is formed when, for example, we see food, eat it and decide that it tastes good. For human being calories equal survival. We remember the rewards we experienced after we ate the food and repeat this process. It goes as follows: trigger behavior reward; see food, eat food, feel good and repeat. Then what should we do instead of building habits?
In an experiment researchers told people instead of forcing people to, for example, quit smoking, they told people to be curious about their habits. They actually told people to smoke and be really curious about it. One of the participants said: “Mindful smoking: smells like stinky cheese and tastes like chemicals,YUCK!” She had decided on a cognitive level that smoking was bad for her. She was no longer captivated by her habit.
When the prefrontal cortex is not engaged we tend to fall back into old habits. When we are tired, stressed or involved in making tough decisions we can easily fall back into our old ways. Curiosity helps us take notice of our experience rather than trying to get rid of the experience (habit).
As it says in the article titled: Using Curiosity to Break Bad Habits: “What does curiosity feel like? It feels good. And what happens when we get curious? We start to notice that cravings are simply made up of body sensations — oh, there’s tightness, there’s tension, there’s restlessness — and that these body sensations come and go. These are bite-size pieces of experiences that we can manage from moment to moment rather than getting clobbered by this huge, scary craving that we choke on.”
When we are curious we stop fearing our habits and reacting automatically to our habitual patterns. We activate our modern brain and are able to reflect more effectively on what we are doing in a scientific and isolated way. So next time you experience an unwanted habit or find yourself focused on short-term goals try to engage your long-term modern brain and become curious about what you are doing.
Having a goal without good strategies cannot help you achieve what you want. However, with Lifehack Goal Setting System, you can efficiently attain the best result of your desire. For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.
To start with, you can try these health goals:
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The post If You Think Building Habits Can Help You Reach Goals, This Will Change Your Mind appeared first on Lifehack.
A recent study reported that most people can’t get through a mere 25 seconds of close reflection about their life plans. They may start off with some idea of what they want to achieve, but when questioned about the real aspects of how they will do it, like how they will pay for it, they lose focus and get confused, often falling into complete silence. It’s not that people lack ambition. It’s that their ideas are still in their infancy and most never get past that stage to having mature and solid goals or strategies.
The issue is that life plans can become so complicated and overwhelming that most people just end up settling. Instead of having clearly thought out and planned goals with strategies and tools to achieve them, they let the concrete reality slip through their grasp and surrender to an ambiguous notion of an unpredictable life. While we can’t control everything that happens in life and don’t know for sure what tomorrow will bring; while living mindfully in the moment and focusing on the present is valuable, that doesn’t mean we should abandon our goals and neglect the quest for tangible methods to assertively and actively succeed in achieving our desires.
One method to making concrete goals and establishing solid strategies is to use the “5 whys” method. This basically refers to a technique for solving problems by simply asking why. The answer is the basis for the next question.
Make a list and be honest. What are the activities that make you happiest. Don’t limit your answers by thinking whether or not you are good at it, or if you have any qualifications or experience. Think broadly. It could be that you love cooking or sewing; playing an instrument, reading. Think about the things that motivate you. Although most people may say laying in the sun doing nothing is what makes them happy, soon you’ll be bored. Think about something you would be happy to do every single day of your life. Be realistic.
What are you good at. Maybe ask others. You may not enjoy cleaning your house or car very much, but you might be really good at it and feel satisfied after the task is done. Someone may have complimented you on your ability to grow plants or care for pets. Try to think of examples of when you were accomplished at something and the pride you felt, knowing you could do it again. Often it is hard to admit what we are genuinely good at for fear of appearing conceited. It takes courage to give ourselves credit for a job well done.
Once you have established your desires and attributes, think about the things you may need to allow you to do this every day and perhaps even to make a living from it. Do you need qualifications? Testimonials? More experience? Materials and a work space? Time? Narrow it down. Don’t be too complicated and think too far ahead. Just start at where you are now and where you want to be tomorrow. Do this every day and step by step you get closer to establishing a concrete goal.
Time is very important. If you have a full time job, are a parent or carer and have lots of responsibilities, you need to consider where this new goal will fit in and where you want it to take you. Time is very deceptive. It is easy to think we have no time, but when you prioritize your life, you can easily find it. If you dedicate only a few minutes a day to the one thing that makes you happy, slowly that time grows and eventually it takes precedence over other things that are no longer as important as you thought they were.
Sometimes having a work space dedicated to what you want to do is a good motivator. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it is a physical way to start to see a goal manifest. If you want to make clothes, establish a sewing corner. Buy fabrics and a machine. It doesn’t have to cost a lot either. Get things second hand, look for free stuff. Make it known what you want and soon people start giving you things, everyone has junk that to you is gold. Set up a permanent space. Maybe put up an ideas or inspiration board to be able to visualize the activity. Make associations. Anything that corresponds to your goals and life plans can be included in this physical space to build your reality.
Life goals are only manifested when we start to see physical outcomes. Do you need a qualification – a framed certificate? Do you need tools and books or guides? Is a substantial investment required and do you need to start putting funds away, take out a personal loan or build the investment a little at a time? Can you get help or crowd funding? Can you partner up with someone or a group of people? Can you barter or swap, give and receive in return to start to make this goal a legitimate exchange? Soon you will have a burgeoning business.
Having a goal without good strategies cannot help you achieve what you want. However, with Lifehack Goal Setting System, in which every small progress counts, you can efficiently attain the best result of your desire. For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.
To start with, you can try these health goals:
The post If You Cannot Explain Your Life Plans for More than 25 Seconds, You Have No Plans At All appeared first on Lifehack.
Are you a morning person? If not, I’m sure you know someone who is. Often times you end up wondering how on earth do they get up so early. Some people cannot be bothered to wake up early, no matter what. Often the excuse is: I’m just not a morning person. Have you ever wondered how you can be an early riser? There is a leisure activity that can help you rise earlier in the morning.
I’m sure you can recall a time when you went camping, perhaps you went after a long time of being absent from the woods. The first morning you wake in your tent, you usually rise when the sun does. It pierces through your tent urging you to get out of bed. In the evening after the sunsets, you naturally have no problem falling asleep earlier than you usually do.
This is because camping can actually help you reset your circadian rhythm. According to the National Institute of General Medical Studies, circadian rhythms, “are physical, mental and behavioral changes that follow a roughly 24-hour cycle, responding primarily to light and darkness in an organism’s environment.”
Exposure to natural light actually resets our natural circadian rhythms. Your circadian rhythm will naturally synchronize to solar time, Our biological night occurs at sunset and our biological night ends at sunrise. Exposure to natural light allows the body to naturally align itself with “light-dark” cycle.
This might sound something natural and easy. However, since the invention of electrical light our circadian rhythms have suffered dramatically. Not only are we able to rise before the sun and stay up when the moon fills our sky, but we are able to fully function because of electrical light.
Electrical light has impacted how we live. We can do more before the sun rises and sets every day. However, a study suggests that because our environments are bursting with electrical light we have decreased our exposure to sunlight during the day and have in turn increased our exposure to light after sunset. This in turn, delays our circadian rhythm.
Not too long ago we used to go to bed shortly after the sun went down and woke up around sunrise. Our circadian rhythms were aligned when the sun rose and when the sun set for the evening. By exposing yourself to a few days or even a week of only natural light (put those electronic devices away!), you will be more likely to go to bed earlier and wake up a bit earlier.
From my experience when I go camping, I tend to wake up earlier, go to bed earlier and get more sleep than I usually do most nights. I would suggest you take a moment to plan a camping trip for purposes of resetting your circadian rhythm.
The post Want To Be An Early Riser? Science Says This Leisure Activity Can Help You appeared first on Lifehack.
We’ve all heard the phrase “practice makes perfect” and it’s a good motto to live by…most of the time. If you are already good at something or if you are using methods that are tried and true, go ahead and practice until it’s perfected, but what if the methods are bad? This is one of the biggest problems interviewers face. Think about your own experience – you know you have the skills for the job and you know you are a good fit with the company, but you also know you need to interview better to get the job, so you keep practicing the same old techniques over and over, hoping next time you’ll get it right and land your dream job.
Practicing is a great idea, but only if you’re practicing with the right interview techniques. In fact, you might be surprised to learn how many candidates are hired because of how they came across in the interview, not because of their past experience. Here are 6 ways to improve your interview skills – 6 tried and true methods that are worth practicing!
Job interviews seem to be all about answering questions, so many people come up with good answers and rehearse those answers until they know them well. Interviewers, however, are looking for so much more than good answers. The interview is their only chance to get to know you as a person, and see if you will be a good fit for the company. Yes, you should be able to answer questions well, and you should be prepared for any type of question, but when you think about what your answers should be, remember that they need to represent you as a person and allow you to communicate normally, not as someone quoting a memorized script. So, if you want to practice this method to interview better, stop thinking of the interview as an exam, and more as a simple meeting between 2 people who want to see if joining together is a good idea. Do you think you will be a good fit at this company? The only way to show them is to be comfortably yourself in the interview.
You may be surprised how often being a good fit for a company or team overshadows past experience and skill sets when companies are looking for someone. Job candidates tend to focus so much on how their experience, job history and professional skills, and often miss another very important ingredient: fit. Your past experiences are very valuable and you should still focus on these aspects of the job interview, but don’t make the mistake of forgetting the fit. Because no company wants to hire someone who won’t fit in with the team, no matter how wonderful their employment history is or how qualified they are for the job. Nine times out of ten, companies would rather spend the money to train someone than hire someone who they aren’t sure is going to fit. Make sure your resume does a good job of covering your qualifications for the job so that you are take those experiences and show how they make you a great fit for the company in the interview. If you know you aren’t as qualified as other candidates will be, you should definitely put extra emphasis on the fit.
Not too many job candidates know what it feels like to be on the other side of the desk. You can stress yourself out, trying to figure out what interviewers are looking for, but the only way to know that is to put yourself in their shoes. Pick a couple of job ads similar to the type of job you are looking for, and find some friends who want to practice their interviewing skills, or better yet, let them find some of their other friends (people you don’t know) and they can practice their interview skills with you. Look into the companies and get a sense of what they are really looking for in a candidate and conduct some interviews. This will help you know how it feels to be the interviewer for a change, and you will be able to pinpoint some things the interviewees are doing wrong. Take notes, and compare with your past interview experiences to see where you need to improve.
Many people do well in the beginning of an interview, only to falter when the questions get personal. You would think that those would be the easiest questions to answer, but a lot of people don’t know themselves as well as they think. To help you get to know yourself, ask some good friends to tell you (nicely) about what they think your biggest strengths and weaknesses are, how you handle stressful situations, what makes you successful, and how you can improve. Take notes and compare with your own perceptions once you are alone again. Remember, your friends care about you and are not out to hurt you. Their constructive criticism can help you interview better.
Many job seekers hear that they should research the company before an interview and spend 15 minutes perusing the website, memorize a few facts and take that to the interview, so they can throw in a couple of facts here and there and maybe ask a good question to impress the hiring manager. This is not good enough to set you apart from everyone else.
How badly do you want this job? Make it show by investing your time on doing some heavy research on the company. Find out how they started, their past mistakes and successes, their beliefs, vision, goals for the future, past and present CEOs and how they helped the company to success, and whatever else you can dig up. Now, look at your resume, look at who you are as a professional person, and think about what you can do for them. Think about how you fit with this company, what you admire about them and what you can learn from the company’s history. You will want to reformulate some of your interview answers so that you can seamlessly incorporate this information into your answers.
The post Don’t Try Harder, Try Different: 5 Ways To Interview Better appeared first on Lifehack.
We often believe we would be happier if we are grateful enough. This might mean not pushing yourself too hard and accept what you have already/what you do not have now. That’s why sometimes ambitious people are thought to be less happy, as they are busy working on their goals. However, a study has proven the opposite. Here’s why.
A study conducted at the University of California-Riverside compared people who set ambitious goals to those who set more conservative goals. The results: The people who set ambitious goals were happier in the “long run”.
Turns out when you set an ambitious goal versus a conservative goal you end up feeling happier. After all, ambition is defined as: A strong desire to do or to achieve something; typically requiring determination and hard work.
Often when we set a goal we expect a specific result. If we set a conservative goal, we get conservative results. The opposite is true when you set an ambitious goal, you end up getting astonishing results.
In this study conducted at the University of California-Riverside people often set goals with two reasons in mind: expectancy and value. The expectancy portion of the goal is how likely the person will be successful at achieving their goal. The value portion relates to how good it will feel when reach your goal.
When you set a goal, be mindful of also setting aside limiting beliefs. Goals are set to achieve something bigger than what you are currently doing. So why set a conservative goal which in turn will only get you conservative results? Ambitious goals provide great results when achieved.
The tricky thing about goals is knowing whether or not the goal is for personal growth or if it is a “worldly goal”. Besides ambitious goals, setting goals full of intrinsic value are great for your overall happiness.
Let’s first define an intrinsic goal: A goal that relates to personal growth, something that is “good for the soul”. An extrinsic goal is a goal that relates to “worldly goals” or anything that has to do with money or social status.
A study conducted in 2003 at the University of Rochester requested 147 college graduates share their life aspirations and the end result. The students who set intrinsic goals, set goals such as working on personal relationships and expanding personal growth. Whereas the students who set extrinsic goals, set goals such as fame, earning a certain dollar figure and appearance.
The result: The students who set intrinsic goals versus extrinsic goals experienced a higher level of happiness. Those who set extrinsic goals reported no improvement in their well-being even after achieving their goal.
The findings can actually be explained by a psychological theory, the “Self-Determination Theory”, which states the three things in order for people to be happy:
Turns out, extrinsic goals (money and fame) do not meet these three criteria. Whereas intrinsic goals (goals good for the soul) nourish these psychological needs to be happy.
When you set a goal ask yourself: How will this goal provide me with a sense of being in control of my behavior? How will this goal allow me to attain a specific mastery of a skill? Will this goal afford me the opportunity to connect with others?
When you choose to set a goal, be mindful if you’re setting a conservative or an ambitious goal. If you want big results, set an ambitious goal. If you want to feel happier when you achieve your goal, set a goal that is an intrinsic goal that satisfies our autonomy, competence and relatedness. Goals can be a scary thing to set and then to declare, but when you chose a goal that is ambitious and most likely provide happiness, achieving your goal will be worthwhile.
Having a goal without good strategies cannot help you achieve what you want. However, with Lifehack Goal Setting System, you can efficiently attain the best result of your desire. For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.
To start with, you can try these health goals:
The post Study Finds People With Ambitious Goals Are Happier And More Satisfied appeared first on Lifehack.
Life is all about moving forward with our goals and achieving more in our lives. Wanting to better ourselves brings aspirations, dreams and takes us down paths to accomplishment.
Discovering what we want to do in life can be an exciting prospect and we naturally become eager to start setting our goals and planning on how we can achieve them. But there are some fundamental mistakes that many people make when setting goals and, if we’re not aware of these, they can bring a lot of challenges, frustrations and disappointments.
Here are 7 goal setting mistakes to be aware of:
For some of us, when setting goals, we focus a lot on what we want rather than why we want it. Thinking in this way limits our imagination and keeps us from realising what we really want. For example, if you set your sights on a particular job for purely the purpose of power, influence over others or the ability to effect changes then you are losing sight of the position itself and what it can bring to you personally. Focusing on the growth aspect of your goals will allow more flexibility in the adjustment of them. In other words, you are putting less emphasis on a specific, narrowed aspect of the job and cultivating the positive reasons why the job will be beneficial to you and your growth.
This is linked to our narrowed thoughts. One of the biggest goal setting mistakes we make is going after goals that are ultimately governed by external influences rather than from within. Sometimes a goal can be about validation rather than our true happiness and this usually points to our need to feed deep-rooted issues rather than for the good of ourselves.
Any goal that is focused on social status, the aim of getting rich or recognition will take away your true purpose and enjoyment of the end goal. Make sure your goal is intrinsically motivated and solely for the satisfaction of your own personal development.
I know what you’re thinking – of course my goal will make me happy! The problem with goals, as discussed before, can be our reasons behind them. Sometimes we go after goals believing that we’ll achieve happiness once we accomplish them and while this can be true, it really depends on whether or not you’re pinning all your happiness on your goal.
It’s a big myth that thinking our goal will be what brings us ultimate happiness. While this can be true, it is usually short lived if we’re not fundamentally happy in the first place. We need to achieve happiness within and not pin it all on our goals. In other words, make sure your goal will make you happier not to achieve happiness in itself.
Understanding that we have limitations is important and the danger with too many goals is that it can lead to quantity rather than quality. Focusing on one goal or a selection of quality goals is much more manageable and meaningful than going after too many. It’s important to understand that quality goals are usually ones that develop ourselves and move us forward in a positive way while quantity goals are more focused on quick, meaningless achievements that don’t necessarily fulfil our needs and have little impact.
Setting goals can help us get what we want but to achieve the goals we need to have a good strategy in place as well as a good mindset. A positive and successful mindset is the crux of any good goal-setting strategy. After all, our actions rely heavily on our perspective and ways of looking at the world.
A good strategy will account for any pitfalls or potential challenges that come your way. These can easily trip you up and cause you to give up altogether so it’s important to plan thoroughly and create small and achievable steps.
When we have limited beliefs surrounding our goals, we can have a tendency to set our goals too low. This is usually because we underestimate our abilities or resources either because of past experience or limited information. If you think of a goal and don’t truly believe you can achieve it, then the tendency is to lower your standards. This is tempting but won’t get you what you truly want. Make sure that you realise all your resources and work on your self-esteem to recognise your true potential.
One of the main goal setting mistakes we make is creating unrealistic expectations. This doesn’t means biting off more than we can chew in terms of our abilities but the way in which we set our goals. For example, not giving yourself enough time to achieve your goal can lead to a sense of failure and can make you give up altogether. Be kind to yourself, eliminate unneeded pressure and give yourself realistic time limits – account for any challenges along the way. Just because a goal takes a year doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Try not to fall into the trap of impatience when it comes to your goals as it only leads to goals that ultimately can’t be achieved.
Can’t wait to set your goals but are clueless about what to do first? Lifehack Goal Setting System can give you the insights!
What is that?
A hearty system that makes every small progress counts.
How would it help?
For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.
What’s better than embarking on your goal setting journey by keeping yourself healthy first?
Check the following six goals and subscribe the ones you need!
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The post How To Set The Right Goal: 7 Goal Setting Mistakes To Avoid appeared first on Lifehack.
Happiness is what we all strive for in life and our goals can help us get to the level of happiness we want. Going after goals and dreams is what makes life interesting, gives us a sense of achievement and allows us to grow into the person we ultimately want to be.
However, the types of goals we set have a huge influence on whether or not they allow us to become happier in ourselves. It comes down to two types of goals – extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic goals relate to external influences such as money, fame, status or anything that requires validation from others. Intrinsic goals relate to yourself; your personal growth, health and relationships with yourself and others.
While we would all like to be rich and admired, having these as our sole motivators does nothing for our subjective well-being and happiness in the long-run unless it happens to be an added outcome to your intrinsic goal.
For example, an extrinsic goal would be someone going to university to get a degree so they can get a good job that pays a massive salary. An intrinsic goal would be someone going to university because they want to learn new things, to get a job they love and make a difference in the world. It’s important to realise your motivations for your goals and whether they are driven by outward influences or whether they come from a passion within.
If this has made you question what your true motivations are and you feel a little confused, then here are some ways to get down to the nitty gritty and find out what your true intentions are.
Many people are disillusioned by what happiness is, how to achieve it and how to make it last. Take money for example, many people believe that having more money will make them happy but this is a big myth. Yes, it may bring relief, more opportunities and happiness, but it soon wears off. As humans we tend to adapt to external things – they may bring us happiness but once we’re used to them we go back to normal and start wanting something more.
This is why external things can’t make us happy – happiness has to come from within. To be truly happy, you don’t need money, fame or status and you don’t need validation from other people. Anything that goes towards your personal development permeates you and changes your being, your thoughts and your mindset. This is why choosing goals that are centred around your growth and what truly makes your heart sing will create the fundamental basis for a happy life.
When you go about setting your goals it’s important to really think about why. Deeply questioning yourself will bring up any hidden thoughts and beliefs that are taking you down the wrong motivational path.
Say, for example, you want to lose weight – why do you want to lose weight? Is it because you want people to accept you? Do you want to appear more attractive to others? Do you have a belief that people who weigh less than you get more opportunities or validation? Or is is because you want to feel healthier? You want to be able to run 10km? You feel it will make you a happier and more energetic person that will positively affect your life and those around you?
Finding out the source of motivation towards your goal by questioning the reasons behind them will give a clear indication of whether it’s an intrinsic or extrinsic goal.
If you find that most of your reasons are extrinsically motivated then consider why that is and if you should really go ahead and strive for that goal. Re-think your priorities and put yourself and your personal growth first.
So you realise your goals may be a bit on the extrinsic side but you’re not sure how to move forward. Sometimes when we have goals that seek validation or are linked to anything external, it often comes from limiting beliefs that we have. Limiting beliefs are those pesky voices in our heads that tell us we’re not good enough, feelings of low self-esteem or a sense of needing to prove ourselves to others.
These all came from past experiences which we have somehow kept with us despite them being completely invalid in the here and now. The problem with these is that they can be the driving force behind major extrinsic goals. For example, you had a parent that never showed praise or love so you have a sense of need to always prove to people that you’re good enough – you have to keep going for that high-end job that pays the big bucks to show everyone that you can do it.
It’s these ingrained beliefs that need to be examined and shifted. Once you realise that what’s happened in the past is in the past and no longer holds water in the present moment, you can start to shift your perspective on those important opinions of yourself. You will then start to realise what you truly want without the limiting beliefs holding you back.
Another culprit of extrinsic goal-setting is our constant need to be accepted by society. So many of us live our lives in a way that fits in with the world around us. This can stop people from living the life they truly want and instead go after things that are safe, normal and inline with everybody else’s opinions.
For example, perhaps your life goal was to settle down, get married and have children but not because that is what you truly want but because that’s what’s expected in society. Perhaps you went to university to get that degree because that’s what all your friends or your siblings did. It’s important to think carefully about why you’re going after a particular goal – ask yourself, would you still be going after the same goal if it wasn’t socially accepted?
Make sure that your goals aren’t influenced by what others think or expect from you. At the end of the day, they won’t make you happy and you don’t want to wait until you’ve achieved your goal to realise this.
We all deserve to be happy. What we do in life will ultimately create our sense of self, allow us to feel we’ve made a difference in the world (including our own world) and master our personal growth so have a think about your goals, your motivations and stay on your true path to happiness.
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What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of action? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.
As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.
Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Achieving a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.
The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”
The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.
How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.
People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.
How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.
A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”
There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.
It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.
You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’
When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.
Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.
If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.
For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.
What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!
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To reach your goals you need determination, a positive attitude, and an absolute belief that you can achieve what you want. However, another important factor is to prepare for bumps in the road, obstacles and interruptions that could potentially crop up on your quest for achievement.
This may seem like a pessimistic mindset – after all, aren’t we meant to have an unwavering belief that we can attain what we want no matter what? Well actually it’s an important element in achieving success. We will undoubtedly come across challenges enough to make us wonder if we’re able to achieve our goal at all. But with a plan in place, these challenges can be fought and overcome much more easily making that road to success a much less bumpy one. Preparing for the worst can give us a sense of security and lessens the fears and anxieties that can naturally surface on the journey.
Let’s face it, even the most ambitious of us still get niggling doubts of worry. When it comes to achieving our goals, fear manifested as worry is the number one blocker to many people even contemplating going after their dreams. When we enter the journey we feel vulnerable to failure and much of the time we are spending most of our precious energy on worrying.
By preparing for the worst, you can reach your goals much more smoothly and you can put more of your energy in having a positive attitude knowing that you’ve covered any eventualities and lessening the negative chatter in your head. By doing this you naturally create a smaller percentage of time thinking and fearing obstacles because you already have a plan in place.
By their very nature, goals aren’t always easy and straight-forward to achieve. This is so strong that many don’t even try or just believe their goals are unattainable. Many also believe that preparing for the worst is some sort of excuse lurking in the back of the mind telling you that it can’t really happen. But actually it’s the opposite of that – it’s a very smart move.
Our happiness and emotional well-being is sometimes overlooked when we try to reach our goals. We focus on the end result adding to our happiness but the journey along the way shouldn’t compromise this. Preparing for eventualities can be thought of as a safety net for our emotional well-being. When we suffer setbacks and failures we are understandably brought down and it’s these instances that can stop us from carrying on altogether.
When we prepare for the worst, we are actually clearing our worries and calming our emotions which, in the long run, will be greatly beneficial to accomplishing our goals.
It’s all about planning ahead. Sometimes it can be hard to evaluate all eventualities but if you get the basics down you’re half way there. With any situation in life where we put ourselves out there, there is a chance we could fall. It’s the excitement of life but also creates fear in most of us.
Whatever your dream or goal is, make time to sit and think about possible scenarios. Money, for example is a big factor when it comes to whether or not we even start going for our dreams. The worry of money, or lack of, is a big one. Say you’ve decided to give up your boring desk job to chase after your dream career. This could pose a big risk around money and even threatens to run out if it takes longer than expected. So put aside money any way you can and ask yourself questions like whether you would need to move to a cheaper place? If so, where could you potentially move to? Are there people you could move in with if you needed to? Could you get a loan from the bank? If so, look into different types of loans to see if any would suit you.
If you couldn’t reach your goal, what would you want to do instead? What alternatives are there that would equally make you happy? If you wanted to become a writer, could you go into teaching instead? Or maybe even go back to studying? Perhaps start your own business? Having options helps calm your mind and allow you to not fear difficult situations. It also gives you hope that if you don’t end up achieving your goal, other options are equally as good.
So remember, preparing for the worst will actually allow you to achieve your goals much more easily and eliminate bumps that, if unprepared for, could cause you to give up altogether.
I’ll leave you with a great quote by the late American author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar. “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalise on what comes.” In other words, don’t fear the obstacles – plan for them and make use of them when they come. That way, you will gain a sense of achievement either way.
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When it comes to setting our goals we need to take a few things into account – what we need to do to start achieving our goals, how we’re going to achieve our goals and what our motivations are behind them.
For many of us goal setting can bring up a sense of anxiety which usually comes down to our limiting beliefs. These manifest as thoughts around our lack of ability, our current situation, expectations from others and comparing ourselves with other people’s lives. All of these results in us setting goals that may not be inlined with what we truly want and our motivations are not focused on our inner growth and development.
Limiting beliefs are usually those negative thoughts you have about yourself like thinking you’re just not clever enough or believing that you’ll fail. Ambition can be hard for a lot of us since limiting beliefs can make us think that high ambition will only lead to failure and disappointment.
But research says that aiming high and having big ambitions actually makes you happier and here’s why.
It’s typical for people to assume that with more ambition comes more risk of failure but this is actually a pessimistic view and one that probably belongs to someone who typically isn’t ambitious. Research has found that ambitious people generally tend to be more satisfied than those who have lower expectations.
The outcome of several studies show that when people set goals, they have two factors in mind – expectancy (how likely you are to succeed) and value (what the process will do for you). When we set limiting goals or goals that are ‘safe’ and easy to achieve, we don’t get any value from them and get no real sense of achievement or satisfaction. In other words, people who focus on the value of the goal rather than the odds of being successful or not are much happier in the long term.
So to overcome self imposed limitations, the key is all about stretching yourself, aiming high while not focusing on the potential failures but also with a sense of belief that it can be achieved.
When you think of a big goal you want to achieve what comes into your mind? Do you think you’re not good enough? Not smart enough? You don’t have the education or the money? Do you worry about what people will think?
If any of these crop up then they are limiting beliefs. These are usually a result of an accumulation of negative ideas, thoughts and beliefs that have built up over your entire lifetime. They most likely came from others, intentionally or unintentionally, as we made our way into the independent world.
The problem with these limitations is that they create thoughts that stop us from believing we are capable of achieving big things. They make us just settle for our lot in life and never allow us to go after anything that will benefit our happiness and sense of wellbeing. As you can see this is a pretty dangerous mindset as it manifests as fear that we’ll fail or be judged for going after what we truly want.
It’s important to realise that happiness starts from within. If you find yourself having doubts about your abilities, then it’s worth looking into working on your personal development.
If you make excuses around your situation like the the town you live in is too small for good opportunities, you’ll put something off until next year when you might have more money, your family wouldn’t approve, or you’re just too old now, then these may just be excuses in disguise. Most of the time anything is possible. When we make excuses, they can be hiding a deeper issue of low self-confidence and self-limitations.
You essentially need to stop identifying with the limiting beliefs and don’t allow yourself to be defined by them. Working on your confidence, shifting your perspective and cultivating a positive mindset towards yourself and your goals will create a good basis moving forward.
This is a biggie when it comes to limiting our ambitions. There is an immense pressure to conform to social norms but what are social norms anyway? All they are, in essence, is an accumulation of other people’s opinions and ideas imposed on the masses who and has become some kind of universal rule that people should live by.
No one has the right to make you feel like you can’t follow your dream if that’s what will make you truly happy. People have their own lives to worry about so make sure you just stick to concentrating on yours.
We can get very swayed by what other people think and say especially if they are close to us. It can have the power to stop someone going after their goals and this really is a sad state of affairs. By doing this we are giving our power to other people which naturally leads us to feel less happy.
Even when we’re on our goal journey, we can come across people who have negative opinions about your decisions which can lead us to question whether this is the right thing to do. The key is to understand whatever negative speak you hear, know that it is coming from people’s own fears, insecurities and issues. Make sure you surround yourself with positive people who support your goals and encourage you to carry on.
Assumptions are a huge ambition killer. Our limiting beliefs cause us to come to all sorts of incorrect conclusions based on what we think we know. But most of the time we don’t have all the information or we base it all on past experiences. We like to seek out examples in our lives for how it didn’t work before and apply this negatively to our new ideas and goals.
If this sounds familiar then you need to test your assumptions, and by this I mean finding ways and evidence that break the pattern of your self-imposed limitations. Take actions that test whether your past judgements and conclusions are actually untrue. By doing this you can build a sense of empowerment, give your mind proof and a different perspective on the situation.
For example, if you want to go back to studying but you think that, because you were never motivated at school, the same will happen again, then perhaps take a short course in something you’re interested in and see if this belief really is true. The chances are you weren’t motivated at school because you lacked any interest in what you were learning but now your priorities and interests have changed. By doing this you give yourself a chance to prove that what you believe isn’t actually true and gain self-empowerment.
Last but not least, we need to stop comparing ourselves to other people. We all have a tendency to do this and it only brings up dissatisfaction and a sense of failure if we see other people doing ‘better’ than us. Of course, this really is just an illusion. We are all on different paths with our own set of limiting beliefs that we’re battling with. It all comes down to assumptions again – we cannot know what is going on in other people’s lives so it really is pointless to compare ourselves to them. It’s really unfair to do this to ourselves since we’re making comparisons with something we don’t have full knowledge of.
Give yourself a break – understand that you really can achieve anything and all you’ve got to do is believe in yourself and believe it can be possible. So aim high and live a much more fulfilling and happier life.
Can’t wait to set your goals but are clueless about what to do first? Lifehack Goal Setting System can give you the insights!
What is that?
A hearty system that makes every small progress counts.
How would it help?
For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.
What’s better than embarking on your goal setting journey by keeping yourself healthy first?
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The post How To Overcome Self Imposed Limitations For Goal Setting appeared first on Lifehack.
The most successful people in the world weren’t always successful. They were once nobodies who lived a mundane life. Everyone was once a child, everyone had to start somewhere. The common traits that successful people share is simply hard work and a determination to keep their focus on their goals and take steps towards achieving them every day. Every decision, every action is calculated and directed to take them one step closer to being the person that they want to be. In some ways, at some point in their life, they had to fake it.
It isn’t that you have to make false claims or lie, it’s not about being superficial. It’s actually a matter of attitude. A way of living your reality in a way that manifests your deepest desires.
The notion of positive thinking and the power of the mind to influence our lives is not a new idea. There is a long history of how happiness is a right and should be endorsed as a state of mind that can alter our physical reality. In Bhutan, they actually measure Gross National Happiness or GNH as a means of determining the prosperity of the nation. Rather than relying on data surrounding Gross Domestic Product or GDP to measure material affluence, a more western concept, they instead are more concerned with their spiritual and attitudinal health and wealth, which stems from their Buddhist heritage.
The idea that we should ‘fake it till we make it’ alludes to the notion that if we live as though our goals are already within reach, that we are already the person we want to be and have the success we envisage, then the reality will naturally manifest itself because every thought and every action will contribute to and shape the reality of its very existence.
The power of the mind to heal the body has been documented extensively. Placebo is a means of suggestion. It tells the brain what the outcome should be and tricks it into making it a reality. In medicine, doctors have given patients what they think are remedies, a sugar pill for instance, and because the patient believes that they are being treated, the brain and the body behaves in a manner that makes it a reality. Many alternative and complementary medicines rely on this very method.
The same principles of placebo or being willing to ‘fake it’ when it comes to achieving personal goals, works in much the same way. If you harness your state of mind and convince yourself that your goal is within reach; if you behave as though you are living the desires and ambitions that you dream about, there is no reason why it isn’t possible for those fantasies to actually occur. Within reason. It can be argued that factors such as luck of birth, inherited wealth, physical ability and genetic make up will almost certainly influence the reality of what you desire.
What you desire needs to be realistic and healthy, but that doesn’t mean that a positive attitude needs to be abandoned if your reality doesn’t match your goals. A positive attitude will in fact give you the tools to conquer anything that comes your way in life. It will also give you the clarity and strength to discover your true path and find your most authentic self. The end objective should always be personal happiness and satisfaction.
Whether you want to be a better partner or parent, live a healthier and fitter life, travel the world, climb a mountain, start a business, write a book, lead a country, change the world; whatever your ambitions, your mindset and the manner in which you conduct yourself and face adversity is half the work.
Having a positive attitude allows you to ‘fake it till you make it’ while at the same time being the most genuine and truthful that you can possibly be. A positive outlook lets you see obstacles for what they are and makes you solution oriented so that you tackle each event of adversity with creativity and optimism.
Believing in yourself and having faith in your capabilities means not comparing yourself to others. It means looking inwardly to the self determination that exists within you and running a one person race. It means living each day being the best person you can possibly be and knowing that with every step you are one step closer to success.
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If you had a guarantee that whatever endeavor you chose to pursue would be successful, you’d worry less and you would be willing to embark on all manner of challenges. We are generally aware that success is part hard work, part opportunity and part good luck. Nothing great comes easy and for most people, a lot of preparation and consideration goes into any kind of new enterprise.
The trouble is that when fear takes hold, an imbalance occurs. Instead of using pragmatism and allowing for a realistic assessment of a situation, we instead let images of the worse case scenario take over our thoughts and focus the majority of our energy on worrying about the worst thing that can happen. We focus on the possibility of failure more than the potential success.
The main thing that people look for in any new phase in their life; whether it be a new business venture, a new relationship, moving house, moving cities or a change of career; is a sense of security. We all want the assurance that there will be a high chance of success. That the gain will outweigh the risk. Nobody wants to outlay a lot of money without any chance of recouping it, nobody wants to risk their health and well being, nobody wants to put themselves and their families in a position of disadvantage. When a new opportunity presents itself, it is only natural to consider if it will improve your life or end in disaster. It is easier to do nothing and be safe; but will it give you satisfaction? Is never trying anything new a good way to live? Will you always have regrets? How will you know what you are capable of if you never push yourself beyond your comfort zone?
Unfortunately we end up spending the majority of our time and energy on worry instead of using that momentum to actually make our dreams happen. Rather than dwelling on possible failures, the wisest and most successful people will acknowledge and address the risks and the possible losses, but instead of making that the focus, they instead become more solution oriented. With careful planning, a bit of research and a lot of courage, triumph comes from the act of participation. Sometimes, even when we crash and burn, the journey is its own reward. The lessons and gains we get along the way may be unexpected and just because things don’t end up as we had hoped, that doesn’t mean that we are necessarily worse off. We may succeed in other ways, even beyond our initial hopes and imaginings.
This means that the time and effort you put towards imagining things going wrong, could be put towards addressing this as a possibility, but at the same time, thinking of solutions to equip you to deal with these events should they happen. In other words, you are not being naive and pretending that everything will go according to plan and nothing will go wrong. Instead you consider all the possible outcomes and equip yourself with the tools, the knowledge and the alternative solutions to see you through a disaster.
To worry is only normal and in fact is quite healthy because it allows you to consider the risks and make informed and calculated decisions. In fact, worrying and anxiety has been closely associated with your level of intelligence. The more frequently you worry, the smarter you are. Within reason. There is no point getting into a state and wasting the energy you could put towards achieving your goals on stressing about failing.
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“Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure). Americans don’t really know how to do NOTHING. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype — the overstressed executive who goes on vacation but who cannot relax.” – Elizabeth Gilbert; Eat Pray Love
Everybody has to work. In doing so we are supporting ourselves, our families, our need for purpose and if we are lucky, fulfilment. Yet statistics show that there is a dangerous inability to not only know when to switch off from work, but to understand how we might be affecting our health by working too much and not living a balanced life. Here are some signs you might be working too much:
Ailments regarding health can range from the largely unobserved world of mental health problems, to other physical issues such as obesity. You find yourself eating too much or eating too few meals. Joints have become as so stiff that you can’t even afford to do vigorous exercise.
You may be dealing with poor memory. Things people said just minutes ago to you are always forgotten.
Your relationships with family and friends have become a bit distant. You have little time to spend with them. When you finally go out with them or have a meal with them, your anxious mind cannot stop thinking about work-related stuff. Such stress puts a barrier between you and your loved ones.
You are unable to differentiate between work time and leisure time as your workload increases. You cannot stop thinking about your work even if you’re on vacation.
You may have difficulty waking up in the morning, have an over-reliance on coffee, or find it hard to concentrate. You feel like you’re at least 10 years older in just one year.
Your thought process has become agitated and stressed. Small things can irritate you though you don’t want to be like that.
You may find it harder to feel satisfied in the things that you used to. Those things lack their colors and you sometimes doubt the meaning of your whole life.
You are easily irritated and feel frustrated with many things.
Your professionalism and expertise may be slipping from its best level. You still try hard but the performance is not the same anymore, as your body cannot sustain such exceeding workload.
You may find yourself giving in to things easier because you feel deflated or over-run.
Working overtime seems to have become common business for many workers today. Unfortunately it is now the norm to get a phone call saying that your friend or loved one has been “held back” at the office. There are a few reasons for this, and pressures play a decent part in it. You may feel guilty about leaving when there is still work to be done, or when others have left work that needs doing. You may feel guilty that others are staying behind when you are ready to leave. This susceptibility is called ‘Social Proof’.
To avoid this, we should always be aware of our rights, and what we want and are entitled to. If what you have signed up for is to work until a certain point, work until that time and make it a point to leave then. Practice this. This is the job you were hired to do and you are doing it. If you are required to do more it should be agreed upon before hand, and not after. You are doing nothing wrong.
When you push yourself too hard, you stop enjoying yourself. And while we don’t always love work, we shouldn’t loathe it. Instead of pushing yourself harder, try a different tact. Try different ways to work with your time rather than spending so much time at the workplace. Have specific goals in mind. Instead of saying “I will stay at work until this is done” perhaps say “I will get the hardest parts of this done now, then when I come back to it in the morning, it will be a breeze to finish”. That way you can finish at a reasonable time, and be able to enjoy your free time with less stress.
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