How "Stealing" from Great Writers Makes You Write Better And Think Bigger

We all have that day where your idea pool run dry and you just cannot find the suitable word to describe things in your mind. You then remember all those great lines from Ernest Hemingway and wonder why you never been able to form those brilliant sentences in your brain, while slowly fall into the abyss of self-deprivation.

Actually, it is not that hard to write like Hemingway. You just have to steal from him.

When you are reading some fascinating pieces from great writers, you may imagine yourself becoming a writer. You can, in fact, get one step closer by “stealing” something from them. Of course you are not plagiarizing their work, but learning some important writing skills from the masters.

Francine Prose shares how we can learn to write better by reading intentionally — outstanding writing is dressed up with language styles.^[1] It is all about putting the right word in the right place, and this is exactly what you can learn by reading someone else’s passages. Here are the tips to boost your own writing skills.

Think about why they use those words

Choosing the correct words can elevate the standard of writing. In Prose’s book, she mentions that words are “raw material out of which literature is crafted.” Readers could read every word and analyze word choices. You will have questions such as, “Why do writers use these words?” and, “What do these words imply?” After all, you can learn and use them to improve your own work.

Think about how they phrase an idea

Good writing pieces not only contain interesting ideas, but also contain phrasing with constructed sentences. Prose discusses how “the well-made sentence transcends time and genre.” She thinks that a writer who is concerned about what constitutes a well-constructed sentence is on the right path. You may learn sentence patterns and word usage from great writers and then use them in appropriate ways when phrasing your own ideas.

George Orwell said his work was influenced much by the style of W. Somerset Maugham. Writing is the same for everyone and no different from every other skills that you can learn, the best way to improve is to learn it from the masters.

Read more, and think beyond the words

So, start reading now. Instead of just going through a book or any article word by word, think beyond the words.

Revisit the books that you love and be a bit more analytical this time. Mark it down if you come across some great sentences or ideas. Make a list of the sublime words used by great writers and learn from them.

I’ve been keeping a notebook with all my favorite sentences and phrases since I was small. It’s like my little dictionary and it has helped my writing a lot. Just imagine a book with all the greatest writers’ greatest words and ideas! Oh and you can actually expand it to some of the best quotes you’ve seen or the amazing movie lines you’ve heard about.

When you have a notebook like that, you’ll never lack an idea or ways of presentation because you already have a pool of thoughts that you can just take out any of them any time.

Let’s start with your favorite book or favorite piece of article! Pick that up and write down all the amazing ideas, words and sentences in it!

Featured photo credit: Ignitum Today via google.com.hk

Reference

[1]

^

Francine Prose: Reading Like a Writer: A Guide for People Who Love Books and for Those Who Want to Write them

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Workout Your Brain By Learning A New Word Every Day, You Will Get Smarter

Have you ever had the feeling of speechless because you are running out of words to speak your mind? Or have you ever read a word that you are familiar with but suddenly cannot recognize its meaning? Sometimes there also might be the case that you have a word in mind but you forget how to spell it right. These situations do not prove you are not intelligent enough but somehow show that your brain needs some more training.

Workouts aren’t just for your body, your brain needs that too.

The brain, anatomically speaking, cannot be called a muscle, though it is partly composed of muscle tissue.

There’s a very good reason though why experts use the analogy of exercising your brain as if it were a muscle. In both cases, you can be sure that if you don’t use it you’ll lose it. Evidence suggests that mental stimulation improves brain function^[1] whilst also reducing the risk of cognitive decline and related diseases.

So what kind of exercise does a brain need? Probably learning more words.

Your body needs exercises, your brain needs new words.

Learning new words stimulates our brains in more than one way; it activates the brain’s visual as well as auditory processes.

We learn words by simulating how they sound and visualizing the concepts to which they are attached. Instead of taking time to sound out the words that the eyes see, the brain trains itself to recognize the words that are frequently seen together. ^[2] That’s why sometimes when a word is misspelled yet you can easily recognize it.

Whenever we read a word, the visual cortex of the brain is stimulated to help us recognize a word. With a continuous practice, our brains will get used to associating images and concepts. This helps to improve our memory because it becomes easier for our brains to recall the previous concepts with the existing stimuli.

Research also suggests that the brain is a dynamic organism.^[3]

“The brain changes as we learn more vocabulary, no matter the age, as vocabulary is learned at all ages.”

When we try to acquire a new word, the gray matter density increases as a result of learning, despite the age.

Researchers have performed a brain image analysis to show that people with similar verbal IQs can have different verbal knowledge levels when they try to increase the gray matter density through vocabulary acquisition. In other words, learning a new word is a practice for our brains to grow so as to improve our intelligence.

Putting new words learning to another level and explore new realities.

So you see how learning new words has helped you train up your brain. What about putting new words learning to another level?

Learning a new language is, of course, an unsurpassable method for acquiring a huge amount of new vocabulary in a short amount of time. Aside from stimulating our brains though, a language also teaches us new concepts, and new realities.

Jay Rubin, the English translator to famous Japanese author Haruki Murakami, has illustrated this point finely:

“It’s still fascinating to sit back and realize that my brain is working in a totally different way when I’m functioning in Japanese. I very often feel I’m writing original -almost original- fiction. What’s on the page is Murakami’s prose, not his language.”^[4]

Japanese and English are vastly different; aside from containing very different sounds, they are composed of completely different grammatical structures. According to Rubin, Japanese also contains what he refers to as “intangibles,” words that express concepts that don’t exist in other languages.

These “intangibles” can of course be found across many languages. They illustrate the importance of having a high competence in the native language if you’re living in a different country and want to truly immerse yourself in its culture.

Apart from those foreign concepts, new words in our own language can also teach us new concepts, even as adults. Need to learn something technical that you know almost nothing about? It is very likely that you will have to learn a whole set of new vocabulary.

Learning new words will not only improve and increase our brain function, but also give us the ability to open up new worlds we may not have known existed.

Kickstart with your brain workout schedule!

The way we use language is closely associated with our brain activity. Maintaining a large vocabulary is a sign of intelligence, and it also helps us with our mental health. So start from today, try to learn new words every day.

There are easy ways for you to learn new vocabulary anywhere anytime. Whether it’s through doing the daily crossword in the paper or trying out a fun new app like Dictionary.com. Just one click, you will see the word of the day with clear explanation and examples which allows you to fully understand its meaning and usage. Learning new vocabulary is a great way to spend your time (no matter how you use it).

For those who like to take on challenges, learning an entire new language might also be your option. You can try out some apps like Duolingo which provides word quizzes for you and motivates you to stay on track by keeping a learning record. If you have some more spare time, you can also take a language class to practise more with fellow classmates.

But my favorite way of learning new words and phrases is always from watching movies and listening to different types of songs. When I see or hear anything I’ve never come across before, I’d immediately put that down in my note (well it’s handy because I’m just jotting that down in my phone’s note app.)

One single new word every day will eventually make up a big list of words. Start from small and you’ll end up big!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]	^	Havard Medical School: Can brain stimulation aid memory and brain health?
[2]	^	Time: Your Brain Learns New Words By Seeing Them Not Hearing Them
[3]	^	Academia.edu: Vocabulary and the Brain: Evidence from Neuroimaging Studies
[4]	^	The Rumpus: THE RUMPUS INTERVIEW WITH JAY RUBIN

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If You Want To Be More Productive, You Need To Stop Work From Expanding

Have you ever decided to refresh your resume, only to see what should be a 30-minute job take weeks? Believe it or not, this has little to do with the nature of the challenge itself, but more your outlook and the amount of time that you allow for completion.

In this post, we will talk about the importance of mind-set and how you can become more productive when completing non time-sensitive tasks.

Parkinson’s Law: work expands when your give it too much time

The key to improving your productivity and avoiding procrastination is to understand Parkinson’s Law, which is an old adage which declares that ‘work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion’. It is a psychological principle that has inspired numerous studies and pieces of literature, and one that underlines the potential dangers of setting arbitrary time-frames that have little or no bearing on the task in hand.

In practical terms (and expanding our previous example), this means that you may allow yourself a week to complete the task of editing your resume. This is despite the fact that the majority of the required information is already included in the document, while tasks such as refreshing dates and proof-reading should not be particularly consuming.

Of course, you may set the arbitrary deadline of a week in order to alleviate any pressure that you are feeling, or simply because you need to submit a job application at this time. Affording yourself this unnecessary amount of time is actually counter-productive from a psychological perspective, however, as this increases the perceived complexity of the task and makes it seem more daunting. As the work expands to fill the time allotted, the task becomes harder to complete and in some instances this may even have a detrimental impact on the quality of your input.

Set time box for your every task

The main principle of this law is that the work expands to fill the allotted time, so the establishment of time limits and deadlines is the most effective. This is a process that must starts before tasks are started, as you analyse the requirements of each one and determine a reasonable (but time-frame for completion. As prominent life coach Karen Strunks says,^[1] you need to be proactive and determine precisely how long individuals tasks are going, as “if you allow yourself two hours for a task, it will take two hours”.

This is an important mantra to remember, and in practical terms it should encourage you to establish clearly defined time boxes for every task that you have to do each day.^[2] This will help you to instantly accomplish more within a shorter space of time, making your more organised and productive as a result. If you find that some projects are too large to complete within the predetermined time-frame, you should compartmentalise these into smaller tasks that are allotted their own time box.

When it comes to time-management, we have a tendency to allow more time than in necessary to complete relatively simply tasks. There are numerous potential reasons for this, but Parkinson’s Law suggests that this causes the work to expand and fill the allotted time, becoming more complicated and unmanageable as a result.

Understanding this is the first step to becoming more productive, however, as from here you can be more tenacious when setting time boxes for specific tasks and allow yourself to accomplish more within a short space of time. With this in mind, who knows what more you can achieve in your everyday life simply by adhering to a simple, but often overlooked, psychological principle.

Reference

[1]	^	Bootbcamp Media: Interview with experienced life coach- Karen Strunks
[2]	^	Medium: The Secret to Getting More Done in Less Time

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Why And How To Sleep Tight In 10 Infographics

We all know that sufficient sleep is essential to maintain a good health. However, there are some more benefits of sleep that we might not know. Here we are going to share the secrets of sleep and all the things you need for a perfect night!

People Who Sleep Better Tend To Be Happier

Do you have the feeling that when you don’t have a good sleep, you would be in a bad mood? You are not the only one because research has found that sleep is closely associated with our happiness!

Sleep Also Affects Your Beauty Inside And Out

Sometimes if you find wrinkles on your face or graying hair, it might not be the result of aging but the result of insufficient sleep!

Getting Enough Sleep Is Just As Important As Hitting The Gym

If you want to keep your body in a good shape, hit the gym and also sleep more!

To-do #1: A Stress-free Bedroom

Creating a stylish bedroom is important but what is more important is to create a bedroom that is perfect for a sweet dream!

To-do #2: The Right Mattress

You also need the right mattress to give support to your body so that you won’t feel uncomfortable during the night.

To-do #3: Powerful Foods

Some powerful foods with high nutritional value will help you get a better sleep tonight!

To-do #4: A Good Preparation During The Day

Having a regular routine will help you sleep better during the night. Follow this pre-bedtime timeline to prepare yourself well.

To-do #5: Simple Exercise Right Before Bedtime

A little exercise that you can do on bed will make you feel relaxed and help you forget all the things that bother you during the day.

Solution Guide To Common Sleep Problems

People might have different sleep problems that prevent them from enjoying the pleasure of sleep. Try these solutions to see if things get better!

Smart Tips For The Smart People

Smart people do things in smart ways. If you want to be smart like those successful entrepreneur do, follow these sleep hacks!

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Learning Can Be Much Easier If You Follow This 5-Step Approach

Learning a new concept can be a rewarding experience, yet it is frustrating when new information simply floats around in your head without sticking. Often times, we are forced to read a book repeatedly just to get the information to store in our memory.

Learning should not be simply about forced memory, and it should not be a difficult task. The mind is an amazing tool. Luckily, there are powerful methods that can assist us in truly grasping difficult concepts. The ADEPT Method for Learning is a practical approach to improving your brainpower. Incorporate this approach into your way of thinking and use it to learn everything with ease.^[1]

Start with an Analogy

A simple trick to improve how we learn is to compare it to something we already know. For example, how would you explain the function of a neuron (otherwise known as a brain cell)? What analogy would you use to explain how a neuron functions? How would you compare it to something the learner is familiar with?

Let’s give this analogy a shot: Neurons are like transportation systems. They carry neurotransmitters (we will refer to them as information) from one neuron to another, similar to how transportation systems transport people from one city to another.^[2]

Think with both sides of your brain by way of a Diagram

Use a diagram if you are unable to find the correct words to describe a concept. A great resource for identifying diagrams to visualize and grasp difficult concepts is Pinterest. By using diagrams, we are able to visualize new and abstract ideas. Understanding complex and abstract ideas requires both sides of the brain to function together and form powerful connections.

Experience the idea by using an Example

What should you do if you are confused about a topic? You can either ask someone to show you or you can attempt to figure it out for yourself. By figuring it out for yourself, your mind is then able to learn through connections. By using examples, it allows you to experience the idea. By exposing yourself to examples, you are able to formulate your own understanding of the concept.

Describe the concept in Plain language

By using The Feynman Technique, constructed by the late theoretical physicist Richard Feynman, we are able to take an abstract concept and explain it in Plain English. Feynman posits, “Explain it like I am 5.” This forces us to make it really simple, and allows us to truly comprehend the concept. Avoid using technical jargon and remember to keep it simple. If you are unable to describe the concept in Plain English, then you most likely do not truly understand it.

Convert your comprehension of the concept into a Technical description

Once you have a basic understanding of the concept, the final step is to comprehend the technical description of it. By using the ADEPT method, we can start with a rough idea and sharpen it until we clearly identify the technical details. For example, if you have been using the ADEPT method to grasp the Pythagorean Theorem, you must then be able to provide the technical terminology (such as an explanation of the formula) for other people to use.^[3]

Follow this advice when using the ADEPT method: Find an intriguing Analogy to describe what it’s like; use Pinterest to help you find a Diagram; conduct a Google search to find websites for Examples; describe the concept in Plain English by visiting websites such as Reddit; and finally, use easy to access websites (such as Wikipedia) to convert your concept into a Technical Description.

The ADEPT method is a powerful tool that will help you strengthen and comprehend concepts in a faster and more effective way.

Reference

[1]	^	Better Explained: Learn Difficult Concepts with the ADEPT Method
[2]	^	Scientific American: What Can a Highway Engineer Learn from a Neuroscientist?
[3]	^	Better Explained: Learn Difficult Concepts with the ADEPT Method

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The Best Picture At The Academy Awards Isn't Always The Picture That's Best For Your Needs

Some people choose the films to watch based on how many awards a movie gets nominated or receives — that must be a pretty handy reference to identify some of the most-worth-watching films, but can those awards references always get you the films that fit you best? Probably not.

There have been eighty-nine movies winning Best Picture at the Academy Awards including Forrest Gump, Titanic, The King’s Speech, this year’s Moonlight, and more. The award winning movies range from action films, drama, biographical film, sci-fi to fantasy etc. They are amazing films in their own genre, but when it comes to winning the Best Picture, they are competing against those in another genre. Interesting isn’t it?

What others define as Best Picture will not always be YOUR Best Picture.

The economic reporter Dan Kopf from Quartz went through 22 years of movie rankings from Metacritic, a website that evaluates and creates score for every critic’s review of major released films, and found a great difference between the films that got the highest score on the site and the Best Picture selected for the year.^[1] Here are some of the findings Kopf got:

In 1998,

• Best Picture: Shakespeare in Love
• Scored Higher: Saving Private Ryan

In 2002,

• Best Picture: Chicago
• Scored Higher: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers; The Pianist

In 2005,

• Best Picture: Crash
• Scored Higher: Capote; Brokeback Mountain; Good Night, and Good Luck; Munich

In 2014,

• Best Picture: Birdman
• Scored Higher: Boyhood; Selma

Look at the nominees for the Best Picture each year, they’re always of different genres.

Take the nominees in 2002 as an example, the winner Chicago is a musical criminal film while The Lord of the Rings is a fantasy film adapted from a novel and The Pianist is an adaptation of an autobiography. They are all unique in their own way but they’re competing for the same award. So it’s ambiguous to explain in what way Chicago is better than The Pianist or The Lord of the Rings.

In fact, the Best Picture is determined based on Preferential Ballot. So basically, voters rate the Best Picture nominees in order of preference. All the ballots are put in nine piles based on people’s number one choice. The stack with the fewest votes are eliminated until there’s a stack that gets over 50% of the votes and that’s the winner.^[2]

In other words, the Best Picture is selected based on the public taste, and more specifically, the taste of people who go voting.

To choose what’s best for your needs, stop sticking to the award winning films.

There’re plenty of ways to help you choose a good movie to watch. For example, some amazing websites will point you in the direction of films that worth checking out. Besides Metacritic which I’ve mentioned earlier in this article, here’re a few more smart options for you:

Jinni

Jinni can import ratings and likes from Facebook, the IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes and Flixter. It looks into the content you already like and suggest the good stuff to you based on your interests.

IMDB

IMDB has a strong internet movie database with 4,146,363 titles range from year 1874 to 2115.^[3] You can check out the all-time top rated movies or the most popular feature films on the site easily. You can even go through some great movie lists based on the movie genre.

Letterboxd

With Letterboxd, you can track your movies watching, follow users who share similar movie interests with you and get tips about new movies. You may also want to check out the useful review from other users to help you find some good movies to watch.

Other than checking out the websites above, I also like to follow Facebook pages of some films production houses and joining online communities of film genres that I’m most interested in. While it’s easy for me to always catch up with the great movies of the genres I love, the online platform is a nice place to keep me posted with all the latest movies’ trailers. And there, I can always save the nice ones I’m interested in to watch them later.

I know you may not have time to check the above sites now, why not add this to your to-do list first?

“Check out the movie sites for great movies”

TO DO ?

By adding this item to your to-do list, you can translate what you've learned to an action.

Big changes in life start with the small step you take today!

“Check out the movie sites for great movies”

Added to to-do list

“Check out the movie sites for great movies”

Completed on

Or just save this post and look into each way again later!

The next film you watch will be YOUR Best Picture.

Now you understand that the Best Pictures from the Academy Awards don’t always suit your needs and you know a lot more ways to find a good movie besides sticking to any award-winning movies.

Just start with your favorite genre and find some amazing movies to watch by taking some or all of my suggestions!

Featured photo credit: ABC.com via abcnews.go.com

Reference

[1]	^	Quartz: All the movies that didn’t win Oscars when the data show they should have
[2]	^	Ken Levine: How the Best Picture Oscar is determined
[3]	^	IBD: Database Statistics

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People Who Cry Often Are Mentally Stronger, Proven By Psychologists

Why does one person get choked up over those heart wrenching SPCA commercials, while another will barely shed a tear for the death of a loved one – if even then? Does the exhortation “Have a good cry” carry any physiological or psychological merit?

Researchers have begun studying the science of crying in an effort to help us better understand what human tears mean from social, psychological, and neuro-scientific perspectives. Recent studies^[1] show that crying is not only perfectly healthy, but is also critical for good mental health and stability.

Crying is good for your mental health

Crying is part of our human emotional package. Crying provides an effective channel and filter for worrisome thoughts and disturbing events. Frequently bottling up your emotions and withholding tears can lead to long-term psychological damage.

Here are four reasons why you should let the tears flow:

1. Crying relieves stress

Tears are therapeutic, and crying is cathartic^[2]. Thirty years ago, a biochemist found that emotional tears carry more protein than non-emotional tears (e.g. tears from chopping an onion) indicating that important psychological and physiological changes occur within the body when we shed tears.

Experimental psychologist Alex Goetz, founder of General Health Inc., put it this way:

“Tears serve an important purpose. Emotional tears, shed in moments of intense feeling, carry stress hormones and are a way of getting rid of them. Even if crying embarrasses you, it signals that you’ve reached a level of stress that’s detrimental to your health.”^[3]

The physical process of deep, emotional crying involves muscular spasms, rapid intake of breath, and tears, all of which crescendo and then gradually subside. During this process, the body tenses and then relaxes, providing a feeling of release – and stress and its physiological symptoms dissipate.

2. Crying builds mental toughness

Crying is a way of acknowledging your emotions and facing them head on. Avoiding or ignoring negative feelings can be detrimental to your mental health and could lead to anxiety and depressive disorders. Or, in lieu of crying, you may find yourself employing other, less productive, coping mechanisms including alcoholism, drug abuse, or other kinds of unhealthy compulsive behaviors.

Facing and embracing your emotions and allowing yourself the opportunity to weep for the sake of your own mental health is important and requires courage.

3. Crying helps you cope and heal

Professor Roger Baker from Bournemouth University believes that crying is the transformation of distress into something tangible, and the process reduces feelings of trauma. The implication here is that when you cry for emotional reasons, you initiate an emotional healing process.

Tears allow you to externalize and symbolize psychological hurt in a physical form. Your tears jump-start your recovery.

4. Crying fortifies relationships and fosters community

Tears are a positive representation of who we are. Our tears demonstrate our deep emotional connection with our world and shows that we care.

Crying in front of people exposes your vulnerability and allows others to see that your emotional guard is down. Crying in particularly difficult or sad situations where multiple people are impacted, obliterates emotional walls and affords others the freedom to express themselves. Bonds are forged and strengthened when true friends weep together.

Crying has been scientifically proven to make you feel better. No, it doesn’t solve your problem, change the situation, or bring people back into your life. But it does provide you with an emotional outlet that begins the healing process, relieves stress, makes you mentally stronger, and fosters community.

So go ahead…let it out.

Reference

[1]	^	The Hearty Soul: According to psychologist people who cry a lot have this unique personality trait
[2]	^	Journal of Research in Personality: When and for whom does crying improve mood?
[3]	^	Daily Mail: The Crying Game; Misery clubs come to the UK

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Dating Isn't Just About Having Fun, But Knowing Your Love Deeply

Whichever way you look at it, dating can either be seen as a necessary chore to find the love of our lives, or a fun way to explore new potential relationships. But it can be hard for many to see dating as a casual act – being free to see where it’ll take the two of you and being open to it working out or not.

Those that throw their hearts into dating from the beginning shouldn’t feel ashamed of doing so. It shows your ability to love deeply, be vulnerable and see ahead to the possibilities of a budding path to love.

Dating Simply For Fun Will Get You Nowhere

Dating is usually synonymous with being casual, light and fun. While this is perfectly fine for lots of people, many of us secretly want and hope that this time it’ll work out but are just ashamed to admit it.

Dating can mean small talk over dinners where we skirt and avoid talking about deeper issues, feelings and emotions. It can feel false and awkward at the best of times but we do this in order not to scare each other off.

It’s been turned into a process especially with the introduction of dating apps that seem to treat people as an item in a catalogue – there’ll always be someone else lined up waiting to meet up if you don’t like this one.

The purposeless of dating can be fun but for those that crave direction, it can feel just the opposite and this is why dating should get back to being more about knowing each other deeply.

Love Is About Growing, Not Standing Still

When dating is just seen as a bit of fun, there’s the danger of it becoming stagnant. Fun is awesome but you can have fun and find out the deeper side of someone at the same time. Why restrict it?

For those of us that don’t want to just give the odd piece of ourselves in the hope that the other person will suddenly see our true potential and inner greatness, we shouldn’t feel ashamed of wanting a bit more.

Getting to know someone we like is just the beginnings of love. Granted it might not grow into something but the important thing is that it is allowed to grow and not stand still in the name of casual dating. Casual is, in essence, keeping two people from falling in love.

Being Vulnerable Enables Deeper Understanding

If you’re a true romantic and can’t help that your heart runs away with you, don’t be afraid to show your true feelings and intentions. Being vulnerable is something we love in other people, but find it so difficult to do ourselves.

Vulnerability is a strength and it’s this state of being that allows us to open up and let others in. This can’t be ignored in dating. The casual aspect of dating is only covering up and stopping any vulnerability from seeping in but this is exactly what we need to get close, bond and fall in love with someone.

Whether we admit it or not, we’re all searching for love. But if casual isn’t your thing, don’t be afraid to speak up. It’ll help you find that love much quicker.

There’s nothing wrong with finding the half-heartedness, moving from one person to the next one or refusing to be fully committed to a relationship. Different people love for different things in love. But if you’re the one who despises purposeless dating, don’t be afraid to show your true self or go deep to understand your love.

Featured photo credit: Josh Willink via pexels.com

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To Have Better Control Of Your Life, Remember To Focus On Your Own

People say you can’t control much in life. Partly true.

You can’t control 100% about what happens in your life, but you can choose how to live with them. This is what differentiates successful people from unsuccessful ones.

This seems to be easier said than done. Indeed we need some concrete ways to do so. Below are 5 tips to help you focus on yourself and have a more fulfilling life.

1. Measure what you can control, don’t obsess over what you can’t.

When working towards a difficult goal, it’s easy to fall short of the targets you set for yourself. That’s because you’re setting the wrong targets. You might be thinking, “I should have a new job in two weeks’ time,” when a more helpful goal would be, “I should send out 10 job applications this week.” By measuring what you can control, rather than what you can’t, you’ll feel more empowered.

The act of measuring something turns a scary unknown into something real and quantifiable ^[1]. Instead of feeling lost and confused about why you’re not achieving your goals, you can consult your measurements and see where you might be falling short.

2. Stop blaming others for your problems.

Life owes you nothing. It’s a harsh truth, but accepting it will give you the motivation to create the life you really want, without expecting it to be handed to you ^[2].

Next time you find yourself thinking, “Life is so unfair,” stop. Ditch the victim mentality, and focus instead on actions you can take to change your situation. If you’re unhappy with your weight, take the first step and sign up to a gym. If you hate your job, start sending out applications. It’s down to you to create the life you want.

3. Be proactive, not reactive.

Do you go through life only taking action when you really need to? You’re not alone, as most of us behave in a reactive way, even though it doesn’t help us. There’s a theory that explains the four stages of motivation, and the higher you are, the more successful you’ll be ^[3].

1. You’re motivated by fear. You act only to avoid punishment or negative consequences.

2. You’re motivated by reward. You take action when there’s something you’ll get in return.

3. You’re motivated by duty. Fear and reward no longer play a part in your decisions to act, and you’re on the way to success.

4. You’re motivated by love. You aim to bring as much happiness to the world as possible, and you no longer worry about your own needs. This is the level you’re aiming for.

Next time you catch yourself being motivated by fear, or by the desire for a reward, stop and think about your true motivations. What do you really want to achieve? Once you’ve worked that out, you’ll be ready to take proactive action to get there.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to damage your self-esteem ^[4]. No matter what you achieve, you’ll always find someone who has done more or done it better. This behaviour is completely self-defeating, and won’t help you achieve anything. Focus on achieving your personal goals, rather than basing your self-worth on external factors.

5. Be your own biggest supporter.

While support from others is great, the only person you can truly count on is yourself. When working to create the life you want, you might find that friends and family cast doubts on your plans. Remember that nobody knows you better than you know yourself, and work on becoming your own biggest supporter.

Changing your mindset truly can change your life. Stop blaming your problems on external factors, and start taking control of your actions.

Reference

[1]	^	James Clear: The Evolution of Anxiety: Why We Worry and What to Do About It
[2]	^	Thought Catalogue: Hate To Break It To You But You Are The Reason Your Life Sucks So Much
[3]	^	Medium: How to Become the Best in the World at What You Do
[4]	^	Medium: Embracing These Brutal Truths About Success Will Immediately Improve Your Life

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Human Minds Have Limitations In Reasoning, What You Believe Is Right Likely Is Wrong

How often do you ride on a car? Even if you don’t have your own car, you must have seen one. I want to start this piece with a small challenge for you. Using only your memory, recall it in your mind a car you often see.

Okay, I see the wheels, the window, and the overall car frame. Does it look anything like this?

Oh but wait, what about the headlights and tail lights? Where’s the handle for opening the doors? And where’re the mirrors?

Why would we miss so many of those things? Don’t we all have a clear idea what a car is like?

We believe that we know way more than we actually do.

Yes we do. In a study conducted at Yale^[1], graduate students were asked about their understanding in everyday devices like toilets. Most thought that they were familiar with the device, only after they were asked to explain step-by-step how the device works did they find out how ignorant they were. Toilets are more complicated than they look.

We believe that we know way more than we do because most of the time, we only need to rely on others’ expertise to operate something. Take the bicycle and toilets as examples, we don’t really need to figure out how the whole thing works in order to operate them. As written by the authors of The Knowledge Illusion: Why We Never Think Alone,^[2]

“One implication of the naturalness with which we divide cognitive labor is that there’s “no sharp boundary between one person’s ideas and knowledge, and those of other members of the group”

Very often, our knowledge and beliefs are actually someone elses’ without us even realizing it. Maybe you’ve already started to be more aware of this fact especially when the social media has such a great impact on our daily lives these days.

When deep understanding is not always required, biases arise.

The tendency that people embrace only information that supports their own beliefs is commonly known as “confirmation bias”, and it is dangerous. When we believe what we think is always right, our faulty thinking will harm the truth and disrupt our growth.

Did everyone really understand the political situations in the US before they voiced out their opinions? And it’s pretty obvious that not everyone in the UK understood the whole Brexit thing before they voted for it, right? These are just some of the many examples of how others’ beliefs and knowledge got easily spread over the internet and people just picked up those thoughts without further understanding the truth.

Business journalists often suffer from the confirmation bias. In the books The Art of Thinking Clearly^[3], there’s an example about a statement “Google is so successful because the company nurtures a culture of creativity”, and how once this idea goes on paper, journalists only need to support the statement by mentioning other same successful companies without seeking disconfirming evidence. No more different perspectives, people will always see just one tip of the iceberg.

When winning becomes more important than reasoning, chaos come.

On the other hand, when presented with someone else’s argument, we tend to be more skeptical; and there comes the term “myside bias”.

In an experiment performed by a cognitive scientist Hugo Mercier,^[4] participants had to answer some questions, and later they were presented their own answers but were made to believe those were others’ answers. They became a lot more critical about the answers than when they were simply asked to modify their answers to be better.

In some situations, when winning seems to be more beneficial, reasoning clearly becomes unimportant to most of us. And this makes us more blinded than ever to spot out our own weaknesses.

To think more clearly, “murder your darlings”.

“Murder your darlings” is the literary critic Arthur Quiller-Couch’s advice^[5] for writers who are reluctant to cut their cherished redundant sentences in their works. We can apply this concept to how we think too.

To fight against biases, let go of your “cherished thoughts” that you have to be right, and set out to find disconfirming evidence of all your beliefs — whether they be relationships, political views or career objectives. The stronger you believe in something, the more you should seek out alternative views of it.

The rule of three

An even more effective way to overcome bias is using the rule of three^[6] — identify three potential causes of an outcome. In fact, the more possibilities you can come up with, the less biased you’d be towards any single outcome.

Say next time, if you see an outcome that isn’t what you expect at work, instead of thinking it must be that irresponsible and careless guy who messed up the stuff, try to think of three potential causes: Maybe there’re instructions missing at the beginning? Maybe the guy already did his job but something went wrong afterwards? Maybe it’s something external that affected the outcome of this?

Thinking through alternative possibilities help unravel the unnecessary attachments we have to the “cherished” thoughts, so we can have a more complete picture of how things are. When you learn to “murder your darlings” and embrace different views, your horizon will be widened and you’ll see a limitless world.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]	^	Steven Sloman, a professor at Brown & Philip Fernbach, a professor at the University of Colorado, The Knowledge Illusion: Why We Never Think Alone
[2]	^	Steven Sloman, a professor at Brown & Philip Fernbach, a professor at the University of Colorado, The Knowledge Illusion: Why We Never Think Alone
[3]	^	Role Dobelli: The Art of Thinking Clearly
[4]	^	Cognitive scientists Hugo Mercier and Dan Sperber: The Enigma of Reason (Harvard)
[5]	^	Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch: On the Art of Writing
[6]	^	Benjamin L. Luippold, Ph.D.; Stephen Perreault, CPA, Ph.D.; and James Wainberg, Ph.D.: Overcome Confirmation Bias

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True Winners Don't Just Aim To Win, They Appreciate And Learn From Their Competitors

So the Academy Award Shows’ over, I bet one of your most remarkable moments would be the mixing up mistake for the Best Picture Award. After all, nothing like this had ever happened over the past 89 years of Academy Award Shows.

While people are hotly debating over the internet whether it’s the host or Leonardo DiCaprio for causing the mix-up of the Best Picture, I would rather stick my focus to the incredible crew and cast of both Moonlight and La La Land.

Once the La La Land team realized that the Best Picture actually went to Moonlight, La La Land’s producer Fred Berger felt proud to hand the award to their friends in Moonlight, and the team graciously handed over their statues to the people behind Moonlight. And during the thank you speech, the director of Moonlight, Barry Jenkins, also said “my love to La La Land” which showed his support and respect for the movie.

True winners see competitors as friends, not enemies.

Imagine the moment you realized you weren’t the award winner right after you’d delivered your thank you speech, how would you feel? It probably feels like something super precious being taken away forcefully with no mercy showed. You probably would feel so disappointed that you wouldn’t feel like your competitors could be your friends.

Everyone works hard to play their best in any competitions. Both movies La La Land and Moonlight have an amazing team of crew and cast, they all did their very best to wow the audience and both movies are trying to deliver some really meaningful messages that would inspire people’s lives. The crew behind the two movies demonstrated to everyone how “competitors” are like friends who should respect and support each other’s effort.

True winners understand that they’re not “best of the world”, there’re always something they can learn from others. Instead of seeing the competitors as enemies, they’re friends who are passionate about the same thing (which is amazing), and they can learn from each other.

When passionate people come together, they can grow and win together.

Well, most of us may not be taking part in competitions very often, or have the opportunity to be nominated for some very huge awards; but there must be something that you really love doing and want to do it better than others.

Say for me, I love writing. Though winning any writing awards is not my aspiration, I’d love to write better and have more readers who’d be inspired by what I write. If I see all other writers as my enemies, I’d just focus on winning over them instead of learning and improving myself. I might miss out all the amazing works all those great writers write and would never learn some of the best ideas or writing skills others demonstrate.

But if I look at other writers from another perspective, I can see a lot of talented writers who are as passionate as me. I see friends, and I see mentors. When I learn to appreciate others, I see what’s lack in me and what I can do to get better.

Try to surround yourself with people who are passionate about the same thing like you do. Discuss your ideas with them, learn from them. Instead of just trying to show off how good you’re doing something, try to be humble and gather more perspectives from them. That’s how you can learn and grow, and become a true winner.

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Why People Often Fail To Lose Belly Fat

Losing belly fat always seems to be a hard task. One reason is that there are many myths that make people’s efforts wasted. Below are 4 common ones .

Myth #1 Ab exercise is the most effective way

Many people believe in “spot reduction”, which means losing fat in an area by exercising that part. However, such exercise only strengthens the muscles there. Still, it would be covered by a thick layer of fat. This applies to all kinds of body fat.

So doing sit-ups or crunches wouldn’t be particularly effective if the aim is to burn belly fat.

The best exercise for fat loss is actually whole-body aerobic exercise. It can speed up our metabolism and hence burn calories faster.

Myth #2 Drastically cutting calories helps

If a person only eats an apple a day, he will lose weight soon and the belly would become smaller. But such change isn’t sustainable. Because when our bodies are getting far from required, metabolism will be automatically slowed down, which means the progress of losing weight will become slower, as the body learns how not to burn energies quickly.

Instead of drastically cutting calories, just have the right amount of calories.

Myth #3 Avoiding meat is a must

Many people think that meat makes us fat, probably due to its relatively high fat content. However, fat doesn’t make us fat. Excessive fat does. In fact, fat is one of the three key nutrients we need to ensure we have enough every day. The ideal ratio is roughly like this:

Carbohydrates: 50%

Fat: 30%

Protein: 20%

Fat is responsible for a lot of bodily functions like forming part of our cells. Instead of aiming at avoiding fat, look for healthy fats like those in fatty fish or egg.

Apart from fat, meat also contains a lot of nutrients like protein and iron. Lean meats like chicken are recommended. For red meat it is advised to be consumed once or twice a week.

Myth #4 Following one special diet works

From time to time a magic potion will appear and go viral. Headlines like these are common:

Drinking This Before Going to Bed Burns Belly Fat Like Crazy

Magic Drink To Lose Belly Fat In a WEEK

But there’s no one trick to lose belly fat. The only way out is balanced diet plus exercise.

Even if we’re talking about green tea which was proven by studies that three cups of it a day can help losing weight, it is still not enough to burn belly fat if we don’t pay attention to what we eat.

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We Worry Because Our Brain Is Impatient, Train It And Have Your Mental Power In Control

Do you find yourself worrying over every little thing? Asking yourself if you should enroll in that extra class, move to a bigger place, or look for a new job? And while you’re worrying about those decisions, are you also wondering if you’ll be able to pay your bills next month, if you’ll get the raise you were promised, or if you’ll ever find your future spouse?

This is totally normal. In fact, most people are going through the same thing – constant worry.

There’s a perfectly good explanation for why you tend to worry about so much stuff all at once!

The environment these days is delaying what you want in return.

Most of the decisions you make occur in a “delayed return environment,” which means that you do not benefit immediately by your choices.^[1] This also means that the majority of your worries deal with issues of the future – what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or even next year if I make this one decision now?

Because we are so future-oriented, our stress levels tend to be sky high. Our brains can’t deal with thinking too far into the future. Why is that?

Our brain is wired to immediate reward in return.

The human brain evolved to make decisions in an “immediate return environment.”^[2] In other words, our modern brain took shape while we were still cave dwellers living a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Then, our worries were more immediate in nature: how to get food, find water, and seek shelter from inclement weather.

For hundreds of thousands of years, humans existed in an immediate return environment. It was only about 500 years ago that modern society began, and with it, the switch to delayed return environment. The changes since then have been too fast for our brains to keep up with! Evolution is a long, slow process.

Enter: anxiety, stress, and worry. In today’s world, you are much more likely to suffer from chronic anxiety or worry all the time. Most of the things you worry about have no immediate solution. Because your brain is designed to prefer immediate results, you feel anxious when that doesn’t happen.

So, how do you fight this lag in evolution? What can you do to stop worrying and feeling anxious about the future?

Find something that you can control.

Stop worrying about if you’ll get a better job. Instead, control how many jobs you look for in a week. Set a goal of sending in 5 applications a week and track that goal. If you’re worried about not making new friends in your new city, start keeping track of how many new people you meet every day. Worried about saving enough for the downpayment on a house? Instead, focus on how much you save on a monthly basis.

The trick is to focus your energy on the things you can measure. By having something tangible to measure, you start taking control of your life and stop letting the future give you anxiety. Making sure you save $100 a month won’t suddenly make your life problem-free, but it will take away a little bit of the unknown.

Count your immediate returns.

Do yourself a favor. Try to focus on the immediate returns in your life instead of the delayed returns. Start this new habit this week. Don’t put it off.

Worried about being healthier? Start counting your daily servings of fruits and vegetables instead. Worried about saving money for a new car? Start reducing your daily splurges by preparing lunch at home and cutting out the morning coffee from the coffee shop on your way to work.

Just because your brain didn’t evolve fast enough to deal with modern life doesn’t mean that you can’t outsmart it. As soon as you start living your life with immediate returns in mind, your constant worrying will slowly melt away.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]	^	James Clear: The Evolution of Anxiety: Why We Worry and What to Do About It
[2]	^	James Clear: The Evolution of Anxiety: Why We Worry and What to Do About It

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Stop Living The Traditional Social Rules If You Want To Ditch Mediocrity And Start Playing Big

“What are the lessons people most often learn too late in life?” — a question that hits thousands of people on Quora. Guess what’s topped the list? Following the convention is said to be one of the things people regret the most later in their lives.

You may be surprised: isn’t following the convention a quality of a good citizen, the quality of being a good sheep?

The brutal truth is, however, following the convention is an obstacle on your path to success. It leads you to nowhere but mediocrity.

The old rules only yield mediocrity.

The cruel reality is that only very few of us would enjoy the taste of success. The others, no.

This echoes the 80/20 law proposed by the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto. An example illustrating this law is that 80% of the wealth in a society is enjoyed by only 20% of the population. The gist of this theory is that only the minority, or the elite, will succeed. And the other 80% of people will remain at the average level.

Given the convention is set by the majority of people, following the convention is mimicking what the majority is doing. This, unfortunately, leads most people to mediocrity where they settle down and stay in their comfort zone.

As Darren Hardy once said,

“Run towards the things everyone else is running away from.”

If you are unsatisfied with your current position and want to ignites changes in your life, don’t be afraid to break some rules, and don’t be afraid to do something everyone else avoids doing.

But breaking the rules is never easy. It could build enemies.

Very likely, the one who defies the convention will be considered as the outcast by the majority.

After all, humans are what the scientists call as the social animals, among which the one who does not comply with the norm is classified as the abnormal ones.

Sometimes, being unconventional could exert your full potential.

The famous business magnate Bill Gates was originally a Harvard University student back in the day.^[1] However, because he wanted to start a business, he dropped out of one of the most prestigious and highly-ranked schools in the world. After getting admitted to one of the top colleges and decided to quit as a young kid, most people saw Bill Gates’ action foolish. But eventually, he proved others wrong and pursued an amazing career and founded Microsoft, one of the leading tech companies.

If you watched the movie Hacksaw Ridge (hang on spoiler ahead!), you’d understand that breaking the rules would mean people going against you. But when you stay true to yourself, instead of blindly following the rules, you’ll always experience something different from the crowd.

Unquestionably, punting against the counter-current is a daunting journey, yet it is also a rewarding one as you are setting your foot on a new path as a pioneer.

Let your voice soar anyway.

We all have a voice inside telling us what is the right thing to do. If you catch that voice, be it tiny or not, do not forsake it.

Think about it – you have things you want to achieve, but often society or others tell us otherwise. We are not listening to our voices, which makes us miss out on great things that we could have accomplished.

One of the most highly regarded poets and novelists of all time Rudyard Kipling was told by an editor that he did not know how to use the English language.^[2] This comment did not stop him from pursuing a career in writing though, he knew what his strengths were and later he produced amazing literary works that are still very well-known this day.

Or take Michael Jordan as an example. He was considered too short to play at his high school basketball team,^[3] but with his passion for sports, he was very determined to be a great player. After practicing for a year, he was admitted to the team and that’s how his professional athletic career began.

Sometimes, we are too afraid to go with our guts, because we are scared to bear the consequences or face failures. At the end of the day, the only person who is responsible for yourself is you, not others. And you will badly regret the things you did not do far more than the things you did that were wrong.

Choose the path now

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.—Robert Frost

Which one you would like to choose? And that makes all the difference when you look back at the end of your life. So there are two roads stretching before you now, the one most people take, and the one no one dares to travel.

Featured photo credit: Summit Entertainment, Hacksaw Ridge via indiewire.com

Reference

[1]	^	Business Insider: Bill Gates on Dropping Out Of Harvard
[2]	^	Bio: Rudyard Kipling
[3]	^	Newsweek: MICHAEL JORDAN DIDN’T MAKE VARSITY—AT FIRST

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