The Best Fitness Plan for You Based on Your Body Type

Have you exhausted your body with multiple workouts and trendy diets in order to get the results you want? Perhaps you’re tired, can’t manage to find time to workout, or maybe your job has you bogged down and stressed out? The problem may be that you are expending unnecessary energy doing exercises that contradict what your body needs in order to get the results you want. Once you understand your body type, you will begin to understand why less is more, and maximize your workout time. Everything you need to know about the best fitness plan for your body type is right here.

The 3 Different Body Types

First of all, there are three body types:((International Sports Sciences Association, Fitness: The Complete Guide, Nutritional Coaching, Edition 9, pg. 608))

1. The thin ectomorph,
2. The thick endomorph
3. The muscular mesomorph

Photo credit: steemit.com If you aren't aware of these categories, you have probably been training your body in a way that doesn’t support your body type and, therefore, you’re lethargic, you can’t gain muscle mass, and you can’t lose weight to save your life. It is likely that you are over-working your body instead of allowing it to do the work it was intended to do. Part of my preparation for this article was a long hike in Los Angeles’ highly populated hiking trail, Runyon Canyon. As I hiked, I assessed each person’s body that I came into contact with. Not surprisingly, the majority of hikers had a mixture of body types. For example, I saw a woman whose body was more muscular in her arms, shoulders, and back - a mesomorph - but her lower body stored more fat in her thighs, hips, and buttocks -- That of of an endomorph. I also saw a man who was both lean and muscular which placed him in the ectomorph-mesomorph category. So while the three body types are a good guide to pinpointing the type of workout you need, keep in mind that there are variables. In some cases, it may be necessary to train your body differently for your upper body than your lower body. That is, perform a combination body-type workout.

The Fitness Plan for Endomorph Body Type

If you have the body of an endomorph, watch out! Your body likely stores more fat than the other two body types. The trick is to head the fat off at the pass. In other words, regularly do cardio, almost daily, and perform weight-training exercises that burn fat. Exercises, such as high reps and low weight speed up your metabolism, especially if you’re female. For weight-training, concentrate on the larger muscle groups, such as thighs, glutes, and back. The bigger the muscle group, the more calories you will burn. In addition, multi-joint exercises for the lower body work best. For example, a squat involves the knees and hip flexors, while a leg extension only involves the knees: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKhd9MXTUzY&feature=youtu.be If you’re not a gym rat, cycling and hiking are also multi-joint movements that burn calories. If you stay consistent, you will see the pounds melt away.

The Fitness Plan for Ectomorph Body Type

So what if you’re tall, skinny, and have little muscle mass? Well, that would make you an ectomorph. You likely have a fast metabolism, a lot of energy, and eat whatever you want, which in many ways is a blessing, but in other ways a curse. If gaining mass is your goal, you’ll have to work just as hard to maintain it as a person whose metabolism is slow and wants to lose weight. So what’s the solution for an ectomorph? Less cardio, more weight-lifting, and more food! Nutrition is extremely important for the skinny ectomorph. You must eat within one hour of your workout with a meal consisting of complex carbohydrates, like brown rice, protein - such as chicken or fish - and green leafy vegetables, preferably kale or spinach which are full of potassium. Your body needs potassium, especially after a workout, to replenish electrolytes. Because the ectomorph has a speedy metabolism, you will need to lift heavy weight, do low reps, and take long rest breaks, about three to five minutes, between sets of no more than five, with four different exercises, which are also referred to as “Giant Sets”.((FitnessHealth101.com: “Giant Sets Routine”))  If you are performing the exercises correctly, using slow, controlled form, your body begins to heat up due to the energy used throughout the exercises. And when your body needs energy, it begins to look for stored resources like, muscle. We don’t want that. Therefore, three to five sets is key. Begin with light weight to warm up your muscles, with 15 reps. Rest for one minute. In your first “Giant Set,” perform 12 reps with a weight load in which you can (only) perform 12 reps. Rest for five minutes. In your next set, perform 10 reps with a weight load in which you can (only) perform 10 reps. Rest for five minutes. Get the picture? Perform another two sets with the previous instructions, dropping down to eight, then six reps. With the combination of proper nutrition and weight-training, you should see results within a month.

The Fitness Plan for Mesomorph Body Type

Onto the mesomorph - The physique that everyone wants. A well-balanced, symmetrical body, the mesomorph doesn’t need to work hard to retain muscle. The mesomorph is not without its challenges, however. Because this body type gains weight quickly, it is prone to becoming bloated when too many carbohydrates are consumed. The mesomorph must consume protein and vegetables to maintain their muscular physique. As long as the mesomorph hits the weight room a few times per week, watches his/her diet, and stretches in order to lengthen bulky muscles, they need not kill themselves with a lot of cardiovascular activity. Explosive, anaerobic cardio, such as HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) for up to 20 minutes is ideal. Supersetting is the mesomorph’s friend. Because the mesomorph is able to retain muscle mass, it need only chisel its physique to expose muscle. For example, rapid workouts comprised of 15 reps per body part, with no rest in between, will sharpen the mesomorph frame.((International Sports Sciences Association, Fitness: The Complete Guide, Edition 9, Body Composition, Page 361)) Stay away from heavy weight-training, cut down your cardio sessions, and you will see a chiseled physique in no time.

Essential Advice for Your Diet

Body-type exercises alone will not work. Nutrition is a key component in getting your body to run like a well-oiled machine. In the following, you will see that the three body types have their own formula, comprised of exercise and proper food to maximize results. Your diet must be low in sugar. Sugar turns to fat and slows down the fat-burning process. So, stay away from simple carbs, like candy, and “bad” complex carbs like white rice, white pasta, white flour, and white bread.((International Sports Sciences Association, Nutrition: The Complete Guide, “The Macronutrients,” pg.156)) These are refined carbohydrates that cause a spike in your blood sugar levels, causing our body to crave more of the same. Even some fruits are better for you than others. For example, pears and apples are lower in sugar than papaya and pineapple. Instead, eat “good” carbs like fibrous whole grains, vegetables, and beans that slowly digest into your bloodstream. The slower the digestion of these “good” carbs, the less hungry you’ll be throughout your day.

Final Words

Now that you know what it takes to achieve results, you can begin to take your body’s appearance to the next level. No more time constraints due to a busy schedule and lack of energy because now you have the proper tools to transform your body and save time. It is not necessary to spend up to two hours on a workout. Simply pinpoint your body type and implement a nutrition and exercise plan that reflects an endomorph, ectomorph, mesomorph, or any combination of the three. In addition, consider getting a BMI test (Body Mass Index) so that you know the amount of fat your body has.((Heart.org: “Healthy Living,” Body Mass Index (BMI) In Adults)) There you have it! Knowing which fitness plan is best for your body type will save you from frustration and get your body to where you’ve always wanted it to be.

Signs of Postnatal Depression And What to Do When It Strikes

Postpartum depression (PPD) strikes about 15% of women around childbirth.((NIMH: Postpartum Depression Facts)) Moreover, this mood disorder is estimated to affect 1% to 26% of new fathers.((Psychiatric Times: Focusing on Depression in Expectant and New Fathers)) The causes of which are thought to be linked to hormonal changes, genetics, previous mental illness and the obvious change in circumstance. The stigma of mental health - with or without support from family members and health professionals - often deters women from seeking help for their PPD. In this article, I will show you 10 ways to begin overcoming PPD.

Symptoms of Postnatal Depression

Postnatal depression is defined as depressive disorder, beginning anytime within pregnancy up to the first year of the child's life. The symptoms of post natal depression are the same as those of depression. In order to receive a diagnosis from the doctor, 5 symptoms must be shown over a two week period. The symptoms and criteria are:

• Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, nearly every day, for most of the day or the observation of a depressed mood made by others
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities
• Weight loss or decreased appetite
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Feelings of restlessness
• Loss of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Loss of concentration or increased indecisiveness
• Recurrent thoughts of death, with or without plans of suicide
• Lack of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Low libido
• Fatigue, decreased energy and motivation
• Poor self-care
• Social withdrawal
• Insomnia or excessive sleep
• Diminished ability to make decisions and think clearly
• Lack of concentration and poor memory
• Fear that you can not care for the baby or fear of the baby
• Worry about harming self, baby, or partner

Should you, a friend or your partner be showing any of these signs, I recommend you to seek medical advice.

Causes of Post Natal Depression

It is worth noting here that there is a difference between what is commonly known as 'The Baby Blues' and post natal depression. Postpartum blues, commonly known as "baby blues," is a transient postpartum mood disorder characterized by milder depressive symptoms than postpartum depression. This type of depression can occur in up to 80% of all mothers following delivery. The Baby Blues should clear within 14 days, if not it is likely an indicator of something more in depth. It is not known exactly what causes post natal depression, however there are some correlating factors. These factors have a close correlation and haven't been shown to cause PPD:

• Prenatal depression or anxiety
• A personal or family history of depression
• Moderate to severe premenstrual symptoms
• Stressful life events experienced during pregnancy
• Maternity blues
• Birth-related psychological trauma
• Birth-related physical trauma
• Previous stillbirth or miscarriage
• Formula-feeding rather than breast-feeding
• Cigarette smoking
• Low self-esteem
• Childcare or life stress
• Low social support
• Poor marital relationship or single marital status
• Low socioeconomic status
• Infant temperament problems/colic
• Unplanned/unwanted pregnancy
• Elevated prolactin levels
• Oxytocin depletion

One of the strongest predictors of paternal PPD is having a partner who has PPD, with fathers developing PPD 50% of the time when their female partner has PPD. ((Research and Practice: Men's Perinatal Mental Health in the Transition to Fatherhood. Professional Psychology))

Ways to Overcome Post Natal Depression

1. Seek Medical Help

As knowledge of PPD grows, more and more physicians are becoming aware of the indicators and risk factors. This means that health care providers are looking for signs as early as their first prenatal care visit. If you are at risk, letting your provider know early in your pregnancy means that you'll be given extra support and care throughout the process. It is best to seek treatment as soon as possible. If it's detected late or not at all, the condition may worsen. Experts have also found that children can be affected by a parent's untreated PPD. Such children may be more prone to sleep disturbances, impaired cognitive development, insecurity, and frequent temper tantrums.

2. Therapy

This is the first line of defence against post natal depression and will commonly be prescribed alongside medication. Around 90% of post natal depression cases in women are treated with a combination of the two treatments. You don’t need to do anything special to prepare. Your counselor will ask questions about your life, and it’s important you answer honestly. You won’t be judged for what you tell, and whatever you talk about will be just between the two of you. Your counselor will teach you how to look at some things differently, and how to change certain habits to help yourself feel better. Therapy is personalized for everyone, but women in counselling for postpartum depression often discuss topics including; who you're feeling, your behaviour, your actions and your life. (If you need immediate support please call the San Diego Access and Crisis Line at (888) 724-7240. The toll-free call is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)

3. Medication

There have been a few studies of medications for treating PPD, however, the sample sizes were small, thus evidence is generally weak. Some evidence suggests that mothers with PPD will respond similarly to people with major depressive disorder. There is evidence which suggests that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective treatment for PPD. However, a recent study has found that adding sertraline, an SSRI, to psychotherapy does not appear to confer any additional benefit. Therefore, it is not completely clear which antidepressants are most effective for treatment of PPD. There are currently no antidepressants that are FDA approved for use during lactation. Most antidepressants are excreted in breast milk. However, there are limited studies showing the effects and safety of these antidepressants on breastfed babies.

4. Communication with Partner

Don't blame yourself, your partner, close friends or relatives. Life is tough at this time, and tiredness and irritability can lead to quarrels. 'Having a go' at your partner can weaken your relationship when it needs to be at its strongest. It can be a huge relief to talk to someone understanding. By spending time with your partner doing activities that you both enjoy, like going for a walk, can really help. This change of state, from moving location, can significantly elevate mood whilst providing 'neutral ground' in which to open up communication. Be honest with your partner and show ways in which they can support you best through this time, even if it's just talking or letting you have time to go take a shower.

5. Self Care and Rest

Don't try to be 'superwoman'. Try to do less and make sure that you don't get over-tired. It's common that women are the experts at 'being busy' and 'doing it all'. Rest whilst the baby is sleeping, and really take time to prioritise yourself. Throughout life, if you're constantly giving out energy, you will be left feeling unbalanced. It's important to become aware of one's energy and making sure to give yourself energy first, before giving out is imperative. Your body has just been through the trauma of the birth, which is very stressful. It therefore needs time to recover so taking time to yourself is important. Things as simple as a cup of tea, or shower or listening to music will really help.

6. Supplementation (especially DHA)

St John's Wort is a herbal remedy available from chemists. There is evidence that it is effective in mild to moderate depression. It seems to work in much the same way as some antidepressants, but some people find that it has fewer side-effects. One problem is that St John's Wort can interfere with the way other medications work. If you are taking other medication, you should discuss it with your doctor. This is very important if you are taking the oral contraceptive pill. St John's Wort might stop your pill working. This can lead to an unplanned pregnancy. It is also worth noting that fish oil (containing DHA) is being shown to correlate with lower instances of PPD. DHA consumption during pregnancy -- at levels that are reasonably attained from foods -- has the potential to decrease symptoms of postpartum depression," conclude study researchers led by Michelle Price Judge, PhD, RD, a faculty member at the University of Connecticut School of Nursing.

7. Movement

Before starting any exercise program, you should consult with your doctor and find a fully qualified pre and post natal specialist. That being said, there is plenty of movement that can be done prior to 'hitting the gym', such as walking. Not only does being outside positively benefit you by getting some fresh air and vitamin D. The same is said for your baby, who will likely sleep better once they've been outside. Exercise gets your endorphins going, which helps alleviate depression symptoms, It can also get you focused on something for yourself. In an analysis of data from 1996 to 2016, researchers discovered that moms who stayed physically active after birth experienced fewer depressive symptoms.((Birth Issue in Perinatal Care: Effects of exercise‐based interventions on postpartum depression: A meta‐analysis of randomized controlled trials)) In contrast, one study found women who led a more sedentary lifestyle were, in general, more likely to experience postpartum depression in the first place. ((The Lancet: Exercise for postnatal psychological outcomes: a systematic review and meta-analysis)) The type of workout doesn’t matter much. Yoga for pregnant women, stretching, and cardio are essentially equal in terms of making you feel better.

8. Socializing and Support Groups

Do go to local groups for new mothers or postnatal support groups. Your health visitor can tell you about groups in your area. You may not feel like going to these groups if your are depressed. See if someone can go with you. You may find the support of other new mothers helpful. You may find some women who feel the same way as you do.

9. Accept Help

Some cultures believe that the symptoms of postpartum depression or similar illnesses can be avoided through protective rituals in the period after birth. Chinese women participate in a ritual that is known as "doing the month" (confinement) in which they spend the first 30 days after giving birth resting in bed, while the mother or mother-in-law takes care of domestic duties and childcare. Whilst this may seem extreme, it's worth noting that being able to accept help from your friends, partner and family can be extremely beneficial.

10. Avoid Smoking, Drink and Drugs

Which may seem common sense, however you may be tempted by the short term 'fix'. Don't use alcohol or drugs. They may make you feel better for a short time, but it doesn't last. Alcohol and drugs can make depression worse. They are also bad for your physical health.

Final Thoughts

Most women will get better without any treatment within 3 to 6 months. One in four mothers with PND are still depressed when their child is one-year-old. However, this can mean a lot of suffering. PND can spoil the experience of new motherhood. It can strain your relationship with your baby and partner. You may not look after your baby, or yourself, as well as you would when you are well. PND can affect your child's development and behaviour even after the depression has ended. So the shorter it lasts, the better. Sometimes there is an obvious reason for PND, but not always. You may feel distressed, or guilty for feeling like this, as you expected to be happy about having a baby. However, PND can happen to anyone and it is not your fault. It's never too late to seek help. Even if you have been depressed for a while, you can get better. The help you need depends on how severe your illness is. Mild PND can be helped by increased support from family and friends.

The Best Way to Sleep to Relieve the 7 Most Common Ailments

We sleep for about 9,000 days or 210,000 hours throughout our lifetime, and guess what? Many of us do it wrong! Yes, there's a right way and a wrong way to sleep. Sleeping in the wrong position can cause everything from lower back pain and frozen shoulder to wrinkles, neck pain and a stiff jaw. Here are 7 of the most common ailments caused by sleeping in the wrong position and the best way to sleep.

1. Lower Back Pain

If your lower back is bothering you when you wake up in the morning, your sleep position may have something to do with it. The first thing the Cleveland Clinic suggests you do, is get yourself a firm mattress that doesn't sag, with a firm box spring.((Cleveland Clinic: Chronic Back Pain Overview: Coping with Lower Back Pain)) Next, choose a position that best mimics the natural curvature in your spine. Positions to try include sleeping on your back with a lumbar roll under the small of your back and a pillow under your knees. Another position to try is sleeping on your side with your knees slightly bent. When sleeping on your side you may also want to try putting a pillow between your knees. You do not want to pull your knees all the way up to your chest in the fetal position. The worst position for your lower back is sleeping on your stomach. If you've been doing it for awhile, it may be hard to get out of the habit, but it will be well worth the effort!

2. Neck Pain

If you have neck pain, the two best positions to sleep in are on your back or on your side. However, that comes with a caveat. According to Harvard, you'll also need to select the right pillow.((Harvard Health Publishing: Say goodnight to neck pain)) The best pillow is a down pillow the conforms to the shape of your neck. Alternatively, you may also want to try a pillow with memory foam that conforms to the shape of your neck and back. Regardless, you don't want to use a pillow that is too high or stiff, placing your head or neck in an unnatural position and causing it to flex throughout the night.

3. Heart Burn or Acid Reflux

Fall asleep in the wrong position and stomach acids can slip into your esophagus, causing major heart burn. The worst positions for acid reflux are sleeping on your back, your stomach or your right side. That leaves sleeping on your left side as the best position to avoid sleep time heart burn. Why does it work? Because sleeping on your left side keeps the junction of the stomach and the esophagus above the level of the gastric acid. This prevents the stomach acid from leaking into the esophagus, which is the cause of the "burn" and discomfort. This video by Dr. Mandell provides a good visual explanation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgO6StknhME

4. Snoring and Sleep Apnea

Do snoring and sleep apnea really impact your health? You bet they do. Having your sleep interrupted throughout the night over extended periods of time could have long term health implications, as well as leave you constantly tired throughout the day. Snoring and sleep apnea are typically caused by collapsed airways, leading to pauses in breathing. Both sleeping on your side or on your stomach can help your airways stay open and reduce snoring and mild apnea. However, because sleeping on your stomach is so bad for your lower back, I'd recommend first seeing if sleeping on your side will solve the problem.

5. Wrinkles

You know when you wake up with lines and creases across your cheeks after sleeping with the side of your face on your pillow? Well it may not be temporary after all. They're called sleep wrinkles and research has shown they can affect your forehead, lips and cheeks!((Aesthetic Surgery Journal: Sleep Wrinkles: Facial Aging and Facial Distortion During Sleep)) Sleep wrinkles are cause by sleeping on your stomach or your side, which causes facial distortions. To avoid facial distortions while sleeping, try sleeping on your back - it's just one more reason sleeping on your back is preferred.

6. Shoulder Pain

Ever wake up and you can barely move your shoulder? You may not want to put the blame on your game of squash or workout from the day before. The culprit maybe the way you sleep. Specifically, if sleep on your side, the weight of your body on your shoulder, or of your head on your upper arm places a lot of stress on your shoulder's tendons, causing inflammation and stiffness. Shifting to your opposite side, may just cause pain in your other shoulder over time. One again, the easiest solution is to sleep on your back.

7. Jaw Pain

Ever wake up in the morning with a sore jaw? Chances are, you've either been grinding your teeth, or you've been sleeping on the side of your face causing. If you're grinding your teeth, you should definitely see your dentist and see if he can make a mouth guard, to help protect your teeth. Regardless, sleeping on your side puts additional pressure on the joints of your jaw and the jaw itself. Once again, the solution is to sleep on your back!

The Bottom Line

Getting a good night's sleep is hard enough. Having to worry about it causing you pain should be the least of your worries. Follow the advice above and see if it helps you avoid some of the unintended perils of sleeping in the wrong position.

When is the Best Time to Workout to Get Incredible Results

“I don’t have time” is the number one excuse people give when they’re asked how come they don’t exercise. In the book The Power of Full Engagement by Tony Schwartz, it says that it’s management of our energy levels and not time that is the key to higher performance. If we kept our energy levels in check and made sure that every part of our lives contributed to positive energy levels, we would be able to get more done. One of those aspects that give us energy is exercise. Exercise is the fuel that gives us energy and an activity that keeps on giving even if we are sitting around day in the office and in meetings. Reaping the benefits of a good workout is immediate. We have better focus and concentration; we are more alert and awake; we manage our mood better and have more creativity after a good workout than if we skipped the gym. If you’d like to get started working out I’m going cover the pros and cons to exercising at different times of the day so that you can find a time that fits for your lifestyle and schedule. So, when is the best time to work out? Let’s get started!

Working out in the Morning

Most people aspire to exercise first thing in the morning and get it out of the way. If this is you, read on to find out the additional benefits of getting your workout done in the morning.

Benefits of Morning Workouts

1. The rest of the day is yours

Exercise and lifting weights is a staple and a habit in my life but it’s also the biggest to-do on my list. When I exercise first thing in the morning, then I’m free to do whatever I want the rest of the day. This is why I have a very strong preference of exercising in the morning as oppose to afternoons or evenings. I schedule my day with my biggest to-dos first while I have the energy and focus at the beginning of the day. But the more I procrastinate about my workout and putting it on my list for later, the bigger that reminder to exercise sits on my shoulder. My mind feels free when I finish my workout and this is the main reason I get my exercise in as soon as the day allows; and if I have to get up before the sun rises, then so be it.

2. Gyms are less crowded and there is more equipment available

Here’s the best part about working out early in the morning – there is not competition for equipment. Most people typically struggle with getting up early in the morning except for the elderly. And in the morning, the gym floors are pretty sparse, this means there is no wait for equipment or competing for floor space. I live in the crowded city of San Francisco where the gyms are packed once it gets to 9 AM, so the best times to get in if I want a squat rack is before 8 AM. Plus, the gym equipment is organized so I can find the free weights I want without much effort and there is usually a bench available.

3. You have more energy and more clarity to fire up the day

After you drag yourself to the gym at the crack of dawn, you will walk out of there with more energy and clarity then when you stepped in. Not only will you wide awake but you have extra energy on top of your cup of coffee. The extra burst of creativity and focus keeps you productive so that you’re able to make more progress on your projects at work and finish earlier.

4. You become more consistent

The ones who see results are the ones who are consistent and morning people are definitely more consistent than people who postpone their workouts later in the day.((WebMD: What's the Best Time to Exercise?)) This is because as the day starts to unfold, unexpected meetings and events come up that can cut into or even eliminate gym time. If you want to workout more consistently, get your workout in first thing in the morning before life happens.

Downsides of Morning Workouts

1. You’re a zombie on the floor

Of course dragging yourself out of bed before the sun rises is why most people struggle with morning workouts. Some of us, like me, don’t want to talk to anyone before a certain time and get really short on a lack of sleep. To combat morning zombie, make sure to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep.

2. Your preparation starts the night before

Your workout may happen in the morning but your preparation starts the night before. If you’re a last minute person and not a planner, you will struggle in the mornings to get out the door in time. Packing everything you need for the gym in the morning is the key to getting to your workout in that day. Support successful mornings by modifying your night time routine in order to prepare for the next day.

How to Make It Easier to Wake Up

The first step is to make a commitment and stick with it. Don’t go back and forth the night before on whether you should go to the gym in the morning. Make the decision to go in the morning and focus your energy on making it happen. When you create that habit, you do it even if your workout is less than optimal and you’re not completely ‘all there’ or you’re a zombie in the morning. Just keep going because repetition makes it easier and the more often you go, the easier it gets. Eventually your brain will catch up and start to automatically be awake at those times. A question you can ask yourself is what can you do to make it easier for you? Can you set your workout clothes out the night before? Or have your breakfast prepared the night before? Or if you’re an alarm snoozer, put your alarm across the room and set back up alarms to make sure you get out of bed to shut them off. Again, what can you do to make it 20 seconds easier to help you get up and out of the door in the morning?

Working out in the Afternoon/Evening

So what about working out in the evening? Is it a good time to help achieve your fitness goals?

Benefits of Evening Workouts

1. Your body performance is at its peak

When you’re training in the afternoon, your warm ups can be shorter because your body temperature increases throughout the day. A higher body temperature leads to increased flexibility,((Med Sci Monit.: Effect of heat and cold on tendon flexibility and force to flex the human knee)) overall muscle strength,((International Journal of Environmental & Science Education: Effects of Different Environment Temperatures on Some Motor Characteristics and Muscle Strength)) and increased endurance. Not only does the combination of low blood pressure and heart rate in the afternoon lead to faster reaction times and better performance, but also less likelihood injury. At the same time the muscle growth hormone testosterone also peaks in the afternoon which is great for maximizing resistance training.

2. An accountability partner is easier to come by

If you’re someone who needs accountability partner to make it to the gym consistently, it could be easier to find a workout buddy in the afternoon than it is in the early morning. There is more flexibility in scheduling during lunch or after work as oppose to early mornings because it could cut into your sleep.

3. You have more class options

If you’re a class person or like to attend group classes, I found that there are more class options in the afternoon/evening times versus mornings. So your favorite instructor may teach a couple more classes in the afternoon during the week giving you more flexibility in your schedule.

4. It’s a great way to destress after a long day

One of my favorite reasons to workout in the afternoon is the relief it provides after a long day at work. This is especially true for those who work long stressful hours. That hour you spend at the gym is dedicated you time to zone out is completely relaxing for the mind.((Mayo Clinic: Exercise and stress: Get moving to manage stress))

Downsides of Evening Workouts

1. Consistency could take a back seat

Postponing your workouts till later in the day means you are more likely to skip your workouts because of an unexpected event. You’re also more likely to be low on energy after a long stressful day or you have to stay late at work and cancel your workout. I find afternoon and evening workouts challenging because I’m ready to wind down after a long day and instead have to find the energy to wind up and be mentally prepared for my workout.

2. Crowded gyms and classes

For the most part, gyms are packed in the afternoon because of the after work crowd and in some cases gyms require you to RSVP to classes ahead of time due to limited spots. Majority of the people prefer working out after work and you’ll see an influx in crowds at the gym.

3. Additional preparation required

Working out after work means you need to be more mindful of your meals and make sure that you have prepared additional snacks to help you get through your workout. It also means lugging around an extra bag with your gym clothes and other essentials.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what time of day you workout because your body will adjust to your schedule when you go the same times every time. What’s important is that you find a time that you can go to the gym consistently that works with your schedule. It’s important to be consistent because consistency is what’s going to get you results. The road to results is simple but not easy. Mastering consistency year round is what is going to make you leaner and stronger one year from now.

How to Tell If You Are Fostering Positive Relationships in Life

Creating friendships and relationships were much simpler when we were younger. It had more to do with who was in your proximity at that specific time in your life and sharing common experiences. As we grow older, our paths begin to divert and we adjust to the rhythm which life is moving, and often times we find our relationships changing with it. A huge part of life is cultivating relationships not only with family and friends, but in all aspects including romantic partners, work colleagues, and even within ourselves. As adults, it gets harder to keep up with our inner circles when we have a family to take care of, a career that’s developing, and living day to day. To foster positive relationships, you must first accept that sometimes certain relationships change, but fostering and maintaining the positive ones is how to achieve more in life. Here are ways to check and see if you are cultivating positive relationships in all areas of your life by assessing and asking:

1. Assess Your Big Five

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn, once said,

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Instead of reflecting on just five, take it one step further by reflecting on the five people you spend the most time with in different areas of your life – personal, work, and family. A great starting point is seeing how present you are in that very moment. For example, you decide to grab coffee with a long-time friend whom you catch up every couple of months. During the conversation, do you find yourself checking your phone every five minutes or going through a list of things you could be doing instead? If so, it may be time to see how much value you’re getting from this particular relationship. Some relationships overgrow one another throughout time, and that’s completely normal. As selfish it may sound, your time is just as valuable.

2. Listen to the Way You Converse with Others

Have you ever taken a moment to listen to how you carry conversations with your friends, family, partner, and most importantly – yourself? Sometimes we get caught up in storytelling, that we don’t pay much attention to the language that we’re using or how we’re using it.

• Are you present and attentive when you’re having dinner with your family?
• Are you on your phone when you’re having date night with your partner?
• Do you spend your lunch breaks listening to workplace gossip?

Check-in with how you feel when these conversations are occurring. Part of fostering positive relationships means making sure you feel good when you have them because it’s the experience we feel on a daily basis that shapes our days ahead. If you notice that you’re surrounded by negativity, try distancing yourself with those or try shifting the conversation towards a different direction. If you’re noticing you are on your phone during family time, dive a little deeper and see what is capturing your attention and why. Sometimes the answer lies not only where you are at that specific moment, but where your mind is.

3. Listen to How You Converse with Yourself

There are important conversations we have daily, but the most important ones are the conversations we have with ourselves. It may surprise you how we speak to ourselves compared to how we speak to others. Often times we’re harder, more unforgiving, and critical, which can affect the relationships we have with those around us. Everyone goes through negative self-talk, but it comes down to how loud that voice becomes. There are great consequences that come from negative self-talk that then creates a poor self-image of ourselves. That image also affects our relationships.

• “I’m not good enough to be with anyone and that’s why I’m single.”
• “I’m not a decent friend and that why I never get invited anywhere.”
• “I’m a horrible worker and that is the reason why I never get a promotion.”

Would these be things you tell a friend? Probably not. So why have these conversations with yourself? Your inner vibrations and feelings always flows outwards and is what attracts those to you.

4. Do We Share Core Values?

The older we get, it can get harder to make friends – good friends, too. When we were younger, the common bonding ground stemmed off favorite television shows and school sports. But as we continue to develop careers, have families, and expand our growth both mentally and physically, it may be hard to keep up with our inner circle, let alone ourselves. It’s not distance that keeps people and relationships apart, but the differences in core values. As humans, we seek mental company over physical company, and this becomes more prominent when we're older. Sharing core values go beyond having a friend who shares the common liking of eating at a particular restaurant or taking a spin class once a week together; it’s sharing that core value of wanting to put fitness and health as a priority or enjoying the challenge of committing to an activity. Keep in mind that not all core values have to overlap. Having different values and ideas also foster positive relationships.

5. Invest in Friendships That Grow Through Life

I have a healthy long-distance friendship with my roommate from college because we make it a point to check-in often. Whether it’s a quick five minutes on Facetime or sending each other a picture that reminded us of that person, checking in even during life’s busiest days help bring bursts of energy throughout the day – especially for long distance relationships from opposite sides of the world. So much has changed since college, but having that timeless relationship has created a stronger bond without forced catch-up sessions and guilty apologizing for not making enough time. It’s a mutual understanding that time has changed and growing with it rather than resisiting it.

6. Look into How You’re Feeling at Work

Having healthy and positive relationships with work colleagues is always ideal, but we all know this isn’t the case. First and foremost, ask yourself if you like what you are doing, better yet, if “you’re feeling good at work.”((The New York Times: How Many Work Friends Do You Really Need?)) Believe it or not, it all stems down to your emotions and the energy you give off that will either attract your coworkers to you or push them away from you. Would you want to invite Negative Nancy to coffee and listen to her complain about all her customers? Probably not. Like every other aspect in life, you have to enjoy where you are spending 40 hours of your time and with whom. If you’re feeling good at work, you’ll feel more aligned and in tuned with those around you that lead to healthier relationships.

7. Treat a Relationship Like a Partnership

Your partner has probably seen the worst and the best parts of you – every part of you that makes you human. In all relationships, there are highs and lows. There are moments when the romance may feel fizzled or be caught up in knotted tension, and moments when euphoria takes over and the both of you are unstoppable. A part of having a positive relationship means having healthy arguments . If you're able to have a disagreement without yelling and screaming, while taking two steps back to figure out the problem together – then you're on the right track. Here are some things to keep in mind during a heated argument:

• Are you still putting your partner first even during disagreements?
• Are you looking for a solution, rather than a safe way out?
• Are you able to place your pride aside in the meantime?

Fostering a positive relationship means understanding the situation from the other person’s perspective, while coming up with a solution together.

Final Thoughts

The lessons we learn in our personal and professional lives reflect on how we communicate with others. It helps us grow, understand, and assess the value that we are bringing into all our relationships, and in return add value to those relationships. All it takes is a few moments of checking-in with others as well as yourself.

How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind

The woman in yoga pants sitting in a lotus position atop a rocky cliff, overlooking a valley draped in fog — this is the glamorized version of meditation you’ll come across as you search. Yet if you’re seeking meditation to calm your mind, a fantastic setting with no distractions is rarely available. So how to do meditation? The truth about meditation is it’s an everyday practice for anybody. You could be a mountain climber or you could be an accountant — either way, your home is just as good a place for meditation as any. Are you seeking to corral your racing thoughts and relieve a sense of unease, awkwardness, or uncertainty? Look to home meditation to cultivate a laid-back, creative, confident, and organized frame of mind. According to extensive scientific research, meditation relieves stress and anxiety, decreases blood pressure, improves sleep, and improves your ability to pay attention. ((Healthline: 12 Science-Based Benefits of Meditation)) From start to finish, this article will give you quick, easy steps to follow so that you can meditate at home regularly. You’ll begin by assessing, identifying and altering things that need to change in your home environment. You’ll end by understanding the basics of meditation so that you can let yourself do what you already know how to do deep down in the hidden reality of your mind. You’re ready to let your mind be, and just be, in your own home — let’s begin.

1. Find the Right Space in Your Home

Where is your right space for meditation at home? Is it in your basement, your bedroom, your living room, or your study? The right space will be one with the least distractions built in to its purpose. In that case, it may be your bedroom. If you’ve set up your bedroom to be a place for sleep and only sleep, it will lend itself well to meditation. The right space will also be a reasonably spacious one. Although comfort is not your goal, you need room to sit. Choose a space that is private, spacious, and quiet. If you don’t have a space in your home like this, create one. Free it from clutter and get it ready for you to meditate there any time. Ultimately, your right space is one you feel comfortable meditating in, the space you can enter with no other expectations.

2. Improve the Feng Shui in Your Home and Meditation Space

Feng shui means “wind and water.” It’s the ancient Chinese art of placement.((Marquette University: Feng Shui: The Wind and Water)) Feng shui improves harmony with nature. Adherents to the principles of feng shui believe all things have energy (chi). The focus of feng shui is to send negative chi (sha) out of the space and attract positive chi (yun). Here’s the truth about feng shui: it’s not complicated or hard. The following will influence feng shui positively in your home and meditation space:

• Living things, such as plants
• Beautiful objects, such as sculptures or even a well-polished piece of driftwood
• Mirrors in symmetrical placement with the lines in a room
• Mellifluous sounds, such as trickling water or wind chimes
• Furniture away from walls
• A centerpiece, such as a small table with books or an ornate lamp on it
• Incense or something else that smells good
• A lack of clutter and an attention to organization that emphasizes the usefulness, purpose, and essential being of each item in your house

Given that feng shui is connected to Taoism and Buddhism, it will complement the meditative atmosphere you want to cultivate in your home.

3. Eliminate Pervasive Distractions That Can Harm Your Wellbeing

In part, meditation is about accepting the existence of distractions. When you meditate, you don’t judge and assign a positive or a negative value to distractions — the ticking of a clock, an itch, the barking of a dog — you let them occur and let them dissipate like waves. However, in the same way that feng shui removes objects that attract negative chi, there are certain types of distractions that don’t belong in your meditative space. You must remove them. In a survey of 1,700 people who visited social media sites at least 30 times per week, 30 percent reported high levels of sleep disturbance and 25 percent presented symptoms of depression. ((Rutgers University: Social Media and Well-Being)) Those individuals who experience sleep disturbances or mental health issues due to social media are not setting boundaries between themselves and their connected devices. Part of learning how to meditate at home is learning how and when to set boundaries between yourself and your connected devices and social media accounts. If you need your phone for a timed meditation practice, but you normally receive social media notifications on your phone, set it on Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode during your meditation time.

4. Flow into Meditation Through Time

Next, set aside a time for meditation each day. It’s right to be structured and disciplined about your meditation time. Buddhist monks whose lives revolve around meditation are very structured and organized with their tasks each day. Structure provides the balance your being needs. Once you are meditating, your mind has no need for time. Outside of your given meditation time, you are completing tasks essential to the wellbeing of yourself and your home. Consider meditating as the sun rises. This is a quiet and contemplative time of the day when it is natural to set your day’s balance through meditation.

5. Recognize the Rightness of Doing Nothing

At home, you’re probably used to always doing something. When you do meditation at home, you are being, which is doing something and nothing simultaneously. Maryville University points out that successful people unplug by doing nothing. ((Maryville University: How Successful People Unplug)) Not only this, but they set the right expectations for the time during which they will do nothing. We oftentimes look forward to the future by expecting something to happen and by expecting something of ourselves. To meditate from home, look to that time and that space by expecting nothing. You will not do any chores. You will not catch up on work. You will do nothing but meditate for a certain amount of time each day. This might sound crazy, but in taking on meditation from home, you’re not expecting yourself to improve and become a better person. As Ram Dass put it, you are expecting yourself to be here now.

6. Choose from the Incredible Variety of Meditative Practices

As I outlined in my post on types of meditation, there are many different and not-so-different types of meditation from which to choose. Many beginners find it right to choose guided meditation, for which there are apps, videos, and audio tapes available. If you are not necessarily a beginner but are merely moving your meditative practice into the home, you can facilitate a practice such as Nada Yoga — sound meditation — by placing a fountain in your space or listening to ambient alpha wave music. If you're used to meditating outside of your home — perhaps you are drawn to the outdoors because of the sounds of nature — a practice like Nada Yoga can help you transition into your home space.

7. Understand You Can Meditate Any Time at Home

What if I told you to throw out all of the tips that came before this? Sounds crazy but that is how radical mindfulness meditation really is. We don’t think of it as radical because it is now ingrained in our popular discourse. Mindfulness meditation does start as a sitting meditation practice. It goes like this:

1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
2. Focus on breathing. Inhale through your nose slowly and exhale slowly.
3. As distracting thoughts arise, don’t judge them and don’t hang onto them. Let each thought go as you focus on breathing.
4. Treat all physical sensations and feelings in the same way you do thoughts: register them, then let them go, returning to breathing.
5. Extend this practice to everyday activity, remaining “in the moment” of the body’s activity with each new breath.

As you practice mindfulness around your home, note the physical characteristics of the things in themselves. Note physical sensations: sounds, smells, textures, appearances, tastes. Stop now and then and do a body scan from head to toe, noting what each section is doing and how it’s feeling. Note thoughts that come and the emotions attached to them: let them go. Concentrate on the breath and the physical activities — including the details of the objects with which you’re interacting. You’ll notice that your home will lend itself to a meditative state when things are in order. This is where true feng shui originates. You will naturally sense how the arrangement of things affects the energy in a room. Clutter will disappear because mindfulness tells you to dispose of unnecessary things. Plants will bloom. Birds will make their nests in your backyard. Your home will smell pleasing and people will naturally be attracted to it and your presence.

You’ve Reached the Beginning and the End

Once you are able to do mindfulness meditation even as you are attending to the normal and abnormal requirements of your home, the mundane and the unusual, you are at both the beginning and the end. You are at the beginning because meditation never ends. Continue setting aside time each day to do sitting meditation in the space you’ve set aside. Continue practicing mindfulness as you attend to the energy of your house, your own energy, and the energy of those around you. You are at the end because you grasped what it means to do meditation at home: it means letting go of cares and concerns and being in your home as you attend to the right tasks. The right tasks are those necessary for being in your home. As you sit in your home, rise, open the door and you leave, you are calm in your mind because you are home.

How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected

We have all experienced rejection at some point. It can hurt and cut us deeply. As human beings, we innately want to be loved and accepted. A sense of belonging to a community is one of our fundamental ingredients for survival. We were never meant to live in isolation.

Receiving rejection today is certainly not what it used to be, given how far less connected we are in this digital age of technology.

In the split-second instant we post on social media, we’re unconsciously broadcasting our desire to be seen and to connect. But when that Instagram selfie or Facebook post doesn’t receive the number of likes or comments we thought it might, we feel disappointed, overlooked and left behind.

We then flog ourselves with self-blame, debilitating guilt, over-accountability and hopeless thoughts about the future. Romantic rejections are where we tend to be most vulnerable and left raw to our core. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can recover.

So how to handle rejection? Here are six ways to help you rebalance the washing machine of emotional and mental turmoil you can be thrown into (sometimes without any warning) so that rejection can become one of the most positive life-changing gifts you can receive.

1. Diffuse the fear of being rejected by acknowledging and expecting it can and will hurt

After twenty-five years of marriage and a couple of adult-age children, being told “I don’t love you anymore” would and should feel like a dagger piercing your tender heart. The psychological blow can hurt just as much as the physical pain of a right hook to your jaw or punch to the stomach.

To overcome the sting of rejection, stop trying to avoid feeling that stings. Stop pretending your unaffected if indeed, you are. Acknowledge that the sharp, heavy emotional pain you feel is as valid and real as any physical pain. Trying to sugar coat what you feel and experience will do you far more harm than good.

Listen to the voice inside you that describes the injustice you feel. Give it air time. Allow that voice to talk and lick the emotional wounds.

If you don’t, that emotional energy will continue to tug at you like the child constantly pulling at the mother’s skirt to grab her attention. Listen to the voice’s mix of rage, sadness, loss and loneliness. You will start to feel relief simply by no longer pretending you’re invincible and allowing the flood of your feelings to flow.

2. Physically sever your connection with rumination

If your friends are rolling their eyes and sighing when you describe to them for the fifth time in minute detail the story of how you were unfairly treated in your dream job interview process, it’s time to shift. You’re wasting time and energy - theirs and yours - and stopping yourself from moving on. Instead, enlist the help of your partner, family and friends.

Make a contract with your partner, family and friends allowing them to catch you in the throes of verbal diarrhea and stop you purging, yet again. Work out three or four different activities which will distract you and turn your attention to something productive. Choose the activity wisely, though. It’s not simply about distracting yourself and keeping yourself busy.

Choose something that catalyzes good energy within you, occupies your mindset and shifts your mood. Physical activities are great examples. Move your body, listen to music, go and shoot a few hoops with your mates in the lunch break or after work. Consider starting a small project completely unrelated to your rejection experience that engages you to purposefully contribute.

By activating neural pathways that increase a healthy mental state, the shackles of rumination will start to lose their grip. Use your friends and family to keep you accountable and break the debilitating rhythm of rumination.

3. Regulate the amount of rejection opportunities you expose yourself to

We all have a different threshold of the amount of rejection we can handle. Repeatedly receiving the notice ‘we regret to inform you that your application has been successful’ becomes a soul-destroying exercise before too long if you’re desperate to find a new job.

When times are particularly tough, you need to protect your mental and emotional states. Wisely considering how much more you can handle is essential. Before you take another step forward, ask yourself if you have the right resources and support in place to catch you.

If you have stood at desperation station, hoping to board the train and it keeps passing you by, sometimes the best thing you can do is stop trying to board for a while. Take a rest. Allow your mind and your thoughts to breathe.

Turn your attention to activities and opportunities, which don’t put you at risk again of rejection, at least for a short period. During the rest periods, your muscles repair and become stronger after a weights workout. Your mind and heart are the same. You must allow them to breathe before you put them at risk of future battle and bruising.

Know that you will always have a different capacity and resilience to handle rejection than your neighbor, so be careful of setting goals to step back into the boxing ring before you’re truly ready.

Get familiar with what your thresholds are and honor them. If you need to take a few days off from doing job application after job application, do so. Your mind will be refreshed, better focused and relaxed so that you can put your best foot forward at your next attempts.

Elite athletes experience peaks and troughs throughout their training regimes and competitions. It’s a given fact of their journey. So too is the ebb and flow of recuperating from rejection and then jumping back on the horse and getting going again.

4. Attach a different meaning to your definition and experience of rejection

Several research studies by Carol Dweck and Lauren Howe at Stanford University have revealed that individuals with fixed mindsets in romantic rejection contexts, experience negative effects of rejection for longer.((Standford: Stanford research explains why some people have more difficulty recovering from romantic breakups))

Participants who believed personalities were generally set in stone and unchanging, ascribed ‘faults’ in their personalities, as opposed to identifying that the rejection could be an opportunity for positive change or growth. They believed these ‘faults’ were permanent and also worried about how future relationships would be continually affected.

If you feel experiencing a rejection means there is something wrong with you, you’re far from alone. But this doesn’t mean your thinking is accurate. Invite yourself to consider:

• Is it possible that the deductions I am making about myself are actually not true… that they are simply fueled by the intense, turbulent emotions I am feeling in these moments?
• Is it possible that this rejection is just an indication that what I wanted to belong to and be part of is not a suitable fit for me?
• Could this rejection be a guiding rail to steer me back on the course I am truly meant to be on, or something even better I have not yet been able to fathom?
• Could this actually be a grand opportunity to grow and expand into a better version of myself?

When Steve Jobs was rejected and sacked from his own company in 1985, he went on to generate his first billion dollars with Pixar Animation Studios after purchasing it from Lucasfilm in 1986.((Fortune: How Steve Jobs Became a Billionaire)) Today, Pixar is the most successful animation studio of its kind.

By being rejected and insulted colorfully by the seemingly attractive man or woman you approached at the bar, you could have saved yourself a marriage of heartache and abuse. In fact, the door is now open for you to continue your discovery journey of finding someone who is a much better potential complement and at the very least has far superior manners!

Where rejection is possible, hold a palm card containing the above questions in your pocket to access a reality check. See if you can step into a growth mindset and practice thinking more widely about the consequences of your being rejected.

What have you learned and discovered about yourself? What have you learned from the rejection experience? What opportunities can you now see that perhaps have not been able to see before? When you feel ready to step forward again, will you go in the same direction again or will you pivot? Might you do things differently this time?

Rejection can, in fact, be a glorious unveiling of new possibilities.

5. Learn to recalibrate the rejection experience to reduce its impact on you

Think about times when you have wanted something that has been out of your reach. There has been at least a risk, a gap or an obstacle that is in the way of you getting what you want. Do you want it more? The scarcity of your being able to reach the prize or reward you’re stretching for seems to become more attractive and valuable when it’s harder to obtain. It’s a key sales psychology feature businesses use to effectively sell to their customers; they market to your fear of missing out.

When you get the defining negative answer, the yearning for that thing you so strongly desired somehow becomes stronger. The reality, however, is that nothing specific changed about the person you longed to date. The job description or remuneration package remained the same whether you were the chosen candidate or someone else was. However in your mind and heart, you, for some reason, feel a greater sense of loss.

Can you recognize if you do this? If so, ask yourself these two questions:

• Could I have idolized the situation or person which has now led me to feel such a deep sense of loss, sadness and unworthiness? Could I have put the person or opportunity on a pedestal which made the fall of being rejected so much harder on impact?
• Are there negative attributes about the situation that I was not seeing because I was wanting this so badly?

It’s only after you have allowed some time to pass after the initial experience of your rejection, that you will be able to more objectively answer these questions. Only reflect when the initial intensity of the sting has subsided. It’s only then you’ll be able to see the other side of the coin.

Sometimes it’s only through rejection that you can see the grass is not as green as it appeared after all. Your loss is not as great and you’ve not fallen as far as you thought.

6. Learn to build resilience to diffuse the fear of future rejection

You can grow confidence through being rejected. It comes down to proactively reviewing your behavioral patterns and resources and forecasting your recovery strategy should you be in the firing line to take a fall in the future.

After you have licked your wounds, take time to reflect and look at how you reacted and responded. What were your patterns? How well were you resourced to handle the fall? Did you withdraw and isolate yourself to lick your wounds? Was this helpful or might having talked with other close friends or family helped you process the emotional pain faster and more effectively? Did you have a plan prepared for the potentiality of experiencing the rejection?

If you don’t have a plan, develop one.

By predicting how your emotions and thoughts could be sent into a spin, you give yourself a stronger sense of maintaining self-control should rejection hit. You lessen the shock of the blow if you also know you’ve got a first aid plan in place.

Write down what thoughts and emotions you could experience in the face of a rejection. If it’s anger, have a healthy strategy prepared to process the energy of that anger. If it’s sadness, build time in your schedule to allow yourself to feel the sadness either alone or in the company of a supportive friend, colleague, family member or therapist.

Once you’ve managed to process a fair amount of the emotional and cognitive fallout, now invest in things which restore your energy, strength and willingness to bounce back. Then, consider stepping back into the boxing ring.

When you have plans and strategies in place, overcoming rejection and the fear of it becomes more like cruising over a small speed hump rather than giving up hope completely of walking again after tumbling to base camp from the summit of Mt Everest.

7 Most Important Communication Techniques to Master in the Workplace

Communication in the workplace is critical to success. Success for you as an individual and success for the company. Teams work so much better with clear, consistent communication. Your ability to communicate well directly impacts your success, your teams success, and therefore the companies success. In this article, we will take a look at why good communication is so critical in the workplace. We will then look at the 7 most important communication techniques in the workplace you need to know. You will be able to clearly see why having strong communication skills are a must have resource for your success at work. With that, let's examine why strong communication is so critical in the workplace.

Why Communication Is Critical in the Workplace

Being able to communicate well will help you in all areas of your work. You'll be able to work more effectively with your coworkers, your bosses, and clients. Strong communication impacts your relationships with everyone you work with. If you are a leader, it is vital that you are able to convey clear information to others on your team. You'll be able to create a vision everyone can see. You can share goals that the entire group can get behind. A much better sense of team can be created by your ability to communicate. Conversely, you'll be the captain of a rudderless ship if you don't communicate well. Clear communication is important in every area of our lives. From our workplace to our personal relationships. We can look at 3 areas of our work where communication is extremely important:

The Company

It cannot be understated how important clear communication from company leaders is. This is an area that is easy to spot if it's a yes or a no. Company leaders that convey a clear message about company goals, values, and culture are doing everyone a wonderful service. It gets everyone going in the same direction. As a company you'll hire the kind of people who align with the company culture and values. Everybody knows what's important. Companies that have poor communication from leaders suffer because of it. People that work for the company don't know what's important. They tend to not know what the values of the companies are. Culture becomes something they aren't able to tell anyone about because they don't know. Are we trying to grow this year? By how much? What do we care about as a company? How are we staying ahead or at least on pace with our competitors? What are new developments in our industry? Hard to know these answers if you never hear it from the leaders.

Your Team

Almost everyone works with a team of some sort. Your team might be 2 or it might be in a group of 20. It doesn't really matter, you have to be able to communicate. Chances are you are all in one department so you are working towards a common goal. It might be an project getting ready to launch or recruiting for your company or the sales team. It's vital to be able to clearly communicate with other members of your team about goals, processes, challenges, and camaraderie in general.

Your Boss

It is critical to be able to communicate clearly with your boss. Having a good rapport with your boss has so many advantages. It allows you to know what you need to do in order to be successful. If you can't communicate with your boss, you won't be able to get the resources you need to do your job well. You've got to be able to have a clear picture of what your boss defines as success in your role. None of this happens without solid open dialogue with your boss. Plus let's be real. It's much more fun and engaging to work for a boss that you get along well with and have a strong working relationship.

7 Most Important Communication Techniques in the Workplace

Let's take a look at some of the communication techniques that can super charge your success in the workplace.

1. Be Available

One of the easiest ways to have good communication at work is to simply be available. I've worked for bosses that were always available to talk to and willing to jump in and help. I've worked with fellow coworkers who always had a shut door to their office and took 4 days to return an email. Guess which scenario creates the better working environment? Not too difficult to figure that one out. By simply being available you help create a comfortable atmosphere of communication in the workplace.

2. Be Friendly

Being friendly to the people you work with is another fairly easy way to have good communication skills at work. Having a positive attitude and caring about the folks you work with goes a long way. When you have a friendly, engaging attitude, the people you work with will naturally flow towards you. They will see you as approachable and have an easy time opening up to you. This type of communication leads to groups that work well together and enjoy being around each other. It helps to develop a good sense of team in the workplace.

3. Be a Good Listener

I've covered this in another article but it certainly bears repeating. Good communication isn't just about conveying information. It's also about being a good listener in order to fully understand what someone is saying. When you have well developed listening skills, you are able to fully process what someone is saying. This is mission critical for working closely with someone. You have to be able to get what they are saying and what they are communicating to you. When you fully understand someone, you are able to have good back and forth communication dialogue, and create a great sense of team and balance!

4. Be Clear

Sharing information clearly is one of the most important communication techniques in the workplace. I have worked with people who can talk for 30 minutes and I am more confused about the question I asked at the beginning than when they answered it. I'm sure we all know someone who can generate a lot of words coming out of their mouth but really not say anything. Don't be this person. All it does is hinder communication. While it's great to have small talk when you share important information, be very clear about it. Make the points that are needed and don't build in a lot of fluff around it. Say what is needed in a clear manner. Add more information if needed. Clarity is key.

5. Be Aware of Non Verbal Communication

Remember, non verbal communication is just as important as verbal communication. Watch other people's body language when you are interacting with them. Things like crossed arms and frowns should be big signals that someone either doesn't agree with you or doesn't understand. It's just as important to be aware of your own non verbal communication. Look at other people in the eye when speaking to them. Have an open posture when someone is speaking to you. This reflects that you are open to what they are saying. Watch yours and other people's non verbal communication cues.

6. Be Open to Feedback

Think of this as being someone who is able to be coached. It's incredibly important towards the beginning of your career but also throughout your career. Everyone has a boss. Even if you are the president of a company, you have a boss - your customers. Be open to the feedback of your boss, colleagues, and customers. Many people have an issue with constructive criticism. I find this is the best way to learn about yourself and more importantly, improve yourself. If you aren't willing to listen to feedback, you'll never change how you are doing something which means you'll never improve your results.

7. Be Open Minded

Think about this. If you aren't open minded while having a conversation with someone, chances are you won't be listening very well. You'll be too busy formulating a response to think objectively about what is being said. Having an open mind will allow you to have a strong dialogue with others that leads to working together to solve problems.

Final Thoughts

Strong communication skills are a wonderful skill to have in your arsenal. Great communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This goes for all of your personal relationships as well as your work partnerships. You will be able to get more of what you want when you communicate well. The listening side of communication helps you understands others needs as well. We've taken a look at the 7 most important communication techniques in the workplace you need to know. As you read through the list, see if you feel you could improve upon any of the techniques. Challenge yourself to get better at one or a few of them, your work self will thank you!

13 Best Communication Books for Stronger Social Skills & Relationships

If you are having trouble communicating with your family and friends, you are not alone. Communications, whether it is written or oral, is one of the most complicated and feared skills. Regardless of how powerful or smart some people may appear, many harbor insecurities around how they write or how they communicate in front of other. But effective communications skills is a must for the individual and the company. In fact, companies are better positioned to thrive when they have a clear message and communications strategy that outlines who they are in the world, what they want to be known for and what sets them apart. And executives who can move others to action with their words are beloved. Often when we think of skills, we focus on hard skills. But being able to communicate well is one of the most important soft skills you can develop and it is also a key determinant to success. Think of your doctor, dentist, lawyer, accountant, sitter, or your child’s teacher. Your relationship with these individuals, and your confidence in them, is influenced by how well they communicate. Arguably, communications can make or break the company or the leader. Fortunately, there are a ton of resources to help you improve in this area. A host of communications books focus on everything from how you write, how you speak, how you communicate with your family and friends, and how you use communications to advocate for issues important to you. The books are impactful whether you are a born communicator, or whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. They will help whether you are struggling to find and assert your voice in personal or professional relationships or whether you are struggling to maintain appropriate boundaries at work and home. I have broken the list up into books that are especially centered around communicating at work, and books that apply to your communications and social skills at work and at home.

Books on Communicating at Work

1. Never Eat Alone

Never Eat Alone is one of my favorite books. Author Keith Ferrazi highlights the importance of cultivating mutually beneficial relationships and makes a strong case for how those relationships can propel one to extraordinary success. For someone like me, who is part introvert and part extrovert, the book is a reminder to be intentional in building relationships. It is easy to rely on the people with whom I already have a relationship but expanding one’s circle is not only a good idea, it’s essential to career and professional growth. What I love most about the book, is Ferrazi not only tells you what to do, he walks readers through “how to do it.” There are several practical tips for cultivating relationships and powerful anecdotes on how doing so can change one’s life. Get the book here!

2. On Becoming Fearless

Ariana Huffington’s “On Becoming Fearless” was also transformative. She covers everything from becoming fearless in the workplace to passionately pursuing one’s personal calling. The truth is fear is a common reality for many of our lives. We allow fear to keep us from reaching for our dreams, keep us from speaking our truth, or remain in unhealthy situations. Drawing from her own experiences, Huffington walks readers through strategies for confronting and overcoming fear. Get the book here!

3. Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide

If you are interested in learning strategies for promoting your work and ideas, my own book is an excellent resource. The book highlights case studies from actual social justice campaigns and the strategies me and my team used to place important issues on reporters’ radars. The book also focuses on how to cultivate relationships with reporters, who can have an outsize impact on how the world, including your audience, views you and your work. Get the book here!

4. How to Win Friends and Influence People

Written in 1936, Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a timeless treasure. It is one of the best selling books ever. The book focuses on strategies for creating and maintaining powerful relationships. This is key because your success is directly tied to the relationships you cultivate and the power of those relationships. He discusses principles such as appealing to what is in your colleague’s interest rather than focusing narrowly on your own self-interest, the importance of memorizing the names of others, and the lost art of listening. Carnegie focuses on the power of being genuinely interested in other people, which is critical. The book is a reminder that people will accept your advice, act on your recommendations if they like you and IF they believe you like them. They will not follow you based solely on your leadership position or your rank in an organization. There are so many communications gems in this book, that it deserves an article unto itself. Suffice it to say, this is a book you should buy yesterday. It is seriously that good. Get the book here!

5. Words that Work

Frank Luntz’s “Words that Work” is the last book I’ve read on communications. It is juicy. Luntz brilliantly describes that people hear what you say through the lens of their own experience. Communication is less about what you say, and more about what people hear. It is therefore important to focus on what people are likely to hear to sidestep saying the wrong thing or having your message misconstrued. This is why certain words are deeply triggering for certain communities. Once you use triggering or loaded words, nothing else you say matters. Your audience will get stuck and miss your entire message. Again, this book is a must read for all people who value communications and whose job depends on communicating well. Get the book here!

6. Crucial Conversations

I am learning that we live in a society where telling the truth, especially unsolicited truth, is not always welcome. In fact, it takes tremendous courage to be direct and tell the truth. In my profession, I routinely am asked to give feedback when people I work with have media interviews. A person’s ability to improve, with the media or otherwise, is directly correlated to the coaching and feedback they receive, but that doesn’t necessarily make telling the truth easier. When commentators, reporters or even political leaders tell the truth as they see it, they sometimes face harsh criticism. However, no relationship works without each party having the freedom and the space to tell the truth in love. “Crucial Conversations” is a road map to having difficult but necessary conversations in the workplace and at home. If you are seeking to improve your social skills or communicate unpleasant information, “Crucial Conversations” is a must-read. The fact is most of us are coached not to tell the truth, so training in this area is beneficial. Get the book here!

7. Leadership Presence

“Leadership Presence” by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar is a gem. I was introduced to this book during an executive coaching session 10 years ago. I was struggling with how to develop gravitas and how to communicate while having force of presence. This was one of the books my coach, Sheryl Phillips, recommended. What I appreciated most about this book is the importance of nonverbals in communication and the strategies it offers to develop leadership presence. Get the book here!

Books on Communicating at Home

8. The Power of Now

Eckart Tolle’s "The Power of Now" was transformative. He outlines how to remain present with one’s thoughts and present situations. There have been many times when I have reacted to things that happened in the past or things that could possibly happen in the future. Such ruminations are a major contributor to internal suffering. They also inhibit us from being fully present in the lives of our family and friends. For this reason, I strongly recommend the age-old and evergreen, The Power of Now. Get the book here!

9. Five Love Languages

We are all created in the image of God. We express our love and God’s image differently. In Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages,” Chapman explores the importance of understanding not only our own love language, but our family and friends’ love language as well. The book identifies the five love languages as “words of affirmation,” “acts of service,” “receiving gifts,” “quality time,” and “physical touch.” For instance, my love language is two-fold, “quality time” and “acts of service.” If a person wants to communicate their love for me, they should both spend time with me and perform acts of service. My sister on the other hand values time. She is giddy when I invest time with her and her family. When I have attempted to offer gifts in lieu of time, our relationship suffered. The best way for me to express love to her is to offer uninterrupted time. That means time when I am not doing other things such as playing on my cell phone, working or otherwise being physically present but mentally occupied. You cannot have a healthy relationship at work or home without understanding what the people around you need to feel valued and respected. For this reason, I strongly recommend The Five Love Languages. Get the book here!

10. Boundaries

Dr. Henry Cloud’s “Boundaries” is a timeless relationship book. It is essential because boundaries inform people how they should and should not behave in your life. For persons who have suffered childhood abuse, it can be difficult to establish or know when one’s boundaries have been violated. However, you cannot have a healthy relationship without creating guardrails that keep you safe and inform people how they can show up in your life. Often, anger is an indication that a boundary has been violated. When I have peeled back the onion, I sometimes realize that I was not clear with boundaries. Get the book here!

11. The Four Agreements

Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” is a must-read for everyone seeking enlightenment and restoration in relationships. It is also essential for persons seeking to end personal suffering caused by endless rumination. In sum, the four agreements, are to 1. Take nothing personally, 2. be impeccable with your word, 3. don't make assumptions and 4. always do your best. In addition to the book, the teachings are also available in a compact card deck which offers daily reflections. Get the book here!

Books on Written Communication

12. On Writing

Since I’m a professional communicator, I don’t think it’s possible to write an article on communications and social skills without discussing writing. Regardless of what you do, or who you are, at some point you will need to put ideas and thoughts to paper. From standard office correspondence, to long-form essays, to business documents, and reports, you are bound to write. One of the most inspiring and helpful books on writing I’ve ever read is Stephen King’s “On Writing.” He covers everything from the mechanics of writing to his personal journey with the written word. The book is humorous, easy to digest and inspiring. Get the book here!

13. Wounds of Passion: A Writing Life

Bell Hooks is one of the most prolific writers of all times. Like Stephen King, she produces full manuscripts the way many of us communicate via text message – nonstop. “Wounds of Passion: The Writing Life” focuses on hooks’s early career as a writer and the process she followed to produce some of her earliest works. Like King’s “On Writing,” Hooks’ book is somewhat autobiographical as it provides insight into her journey and, well, writing life. She documents the trials she experienced, including an abusive relationship, while she was discovering herself as a writer. If you are serious about effective communications, and need help demystifying the process, these books are required reading. Get the book here! While there are several books on this list, I recommend each of them as necessary for developing better social skills and better relationships.

10 Steps for How to Change Habits When You Feel Stuck in a Rut

We've all been there. We wake up one morning and realize that we've repeated the same day, over and over. Wake up, go to work, eat dinner, go to bed. Maybe we sprinkled some family time in there. An occasional trip to the gym. But we long for so much more. More time. Time for self-care. Time to work on that dream project that we've thought about for so long. But we feel stuck. We are on a hamster wheel and we don't know how to get off. What we don't realize is that repeating the same day, day in and day out, is simply a habit. According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits are a three step loop. First, you are given a cue (for example, a time of day like 3pm), you perform a routine (walk to the vending machine), and you receive a reward (candy bar). Understanding how habits work is a key to understanding how to change habits. Once you change your habits, you can take control of your life and your time. And finally reach those goals that you've dreamed about for so long. Here are 10 tips for how to change habits when you feel stuck.

1. Start with awareness

You march through your day without a thought, because it has become a habit. But take some time over the next few days to write down everything you do during the day, and when. Include the time you spend on your phone (many phones now have a Time Tracker on them). You might be surprised at what you see. Are you spending more time on activities than you realized? Are you mindlessly performing tasks that you don't need to perform? Once you see a few days in black and white, you can better understand what you are doing. And how each habit does or does not align with the larger goals of your life.

2. Stop saying YES to everything

Another parent at your child's school asks you to make brownies for the bake sale, and you say yes. Even though it means that you will have to stay up late, and be too tired to go to the gym the next morning. Or the marketing team asks you to sit in on the 2pm call even though you're not on that project, and you say yes; even though it means you won't finish a big report today. And will have to use some family time over the weekend to get it done. Saying yes is a habit. The cue is someone makes a request. So, of course you say yes. And the reward is that you get to avoid a feeling of guilt. Or you get to enjoy feeling needed. But the habit is not serving you. Because you are pinging around like you're in a pinball machine. And you're not getting to all the things that are important to you. The next time someone asks you to do something. Take a minute. Break the habit loop. And actually think about the request. Before you respond.

3. Figure out what is important to you - and what isn't

Let's say you find yourself spending a lot of extra time volunteering at your kid's school. Time that is spent away from your children and your job, and doesn't improve your health. But when you sit down and think about what is important to you. You realize that you need to prioritize work, family life, and a health goal. So how does that volunteer time fit in? Is it important to you, or not? You realize that much of what you do is not related to your own personal priorities. We are all busy. But we need to learn how to change habits that involve doing things that don't align with our larger goals. So it is important to take the time to figure out what your larger goals are:  family, work, health. Or, work, health, and writing that book you've dreamed about. Be mindful of what is important to you. So that you can prioritize your days accordingly. If you aren't sure how to prioritize your life, this guide can help you: The Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life

4. If you don't have a productivity system, create one

A productivity system doesn't have to be complicated. It does have to be something that works for you. Basically, a productivity system is a way to make sure that:

• You are doing tasks that align with your goals
• You know what those tasks are
• You know when you are going to do them

Everyone has a different system. Some love to use beautiful paper planners, others prefer an app on their phone. It doesn't matter how you want to do it. But you need to take control of your own schedule. Make a new habit of planning out your day or your week on a regular basis. Figure out a cue for it. Every day at 5pm I will take 15 minutes to plan out the next day. The cue will be the time of day. The routine is to plan. The reward is to create a day full of intention.

5. Start slow - 1% change a day can add up to powerful results

When something is a habit, it is well ingrained into our routine. We perform a habit almost mindlessly. So, when we think about how to change habits, we need to start slow. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, talks about the 1% rule. He says:

Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. They don't seem like much on any given day. But over months and years their effects can accumulate to an incredible degree.

Basically, you only need to figure out how to change habits by 1% per day to see a significant benefit over the course of a year. So start with one, small habit. When it's 3pm and you find yourself walking to the vending machine, make your way over to the water fountain instead. Or, go outside and walk around the block. Pick one thing and make a change. And then go from there.

6. Stop listening to all your negative thoughts

"I don't know how to do this." "I don't have enough time." "I'll fail and then people will judge me." Do any of those thoughts sound familiar? For many people, those thoughts play on a constant loop. Telling you what you can't do. It's too hard. Don't even try. Change is scary. The idea of doing something new, or something that people could judge, can make your heart pound and make your mouth dry. To your body, it feels exactly the same as if you are a caveman being chased by a tiger. So your brain wants to respond the same way. It wants to run away and hide. But guess what? Those thoughts are a habit, too. The trigger is that you want to try something new. The routine is to tell yourself you can't do it. And the reward is to stay in the same routine. One that is safe. Where you might not make any progress toward your goals. But you won't be eaten by a tiger, either. So the next time you hear that voice in your head telling you that you can't do it. To run away from the fear. Remind yourself, it's a new habit, not a tiger.

7. Make a plan for when things do go wrong

The psychologist Peter Gollwitzer came up with the powerful concept of "if-then planning."((Develop Good Habits: How If-Then Plans Helps You Stick with a New Habit)) The basic idea is this: make a plan that says, if X happens, I am going to do Y. Gollwitzer showed that this behavior has can have a huge impact on the success of changing habits. Let's say you usually sleep until the last minute before you have to get up for work. But you are looking to start a habit of running in the mornings. And your plan is to run 2 miles tomorrow morning. But when you wake up, it's raining or snowing. Enough that you don't want to be outside. What do you do? Without an if-then plan, you will probably roll over and go back to sleep. But if you made a plan the night before. If the weather is bad, I will go to the gym down the street. And run on the treadmill. The reward will be that I get to watch 30 minutes of a"guilty pleasure" TV. Then, when you look out the window and see the rain, you know exactly what to do. And you won't fall back into your old routine.

8. Focus on your effort

Here's a secret about everyone you know. Everyone has failed. Everyone from Steve Jobs to the co-worker in the cubicle next to you. But what makes the difference is how you manage that failure. Do you take failure as a reason to give up? Or do you reframe it as a learning experience? Accepting failure is a way to stay in that rut. To keep doing what is safe. Even though it doesn't make you happy. Accepting failure is a habit. But if you can focus on your effort. Your attempts to change. Then you can continually learn from any missteps. And keep moving forward. Carol Dweck found, in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, that the most successful people in the world focus on their effort, not on the outcome. That they frame failures as learning experiences. And, as she says in the book:

John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach, says you aren’t a failure until you start to blame. What he means is that you can still be in the process of learning from your mistakes until you deny them.

9. Celebrate small wins

One of the most powerful ways to reinforce how to change habits and make new ones is to give yourself a reward. As Charles Duhigg wrote in The Power of Habit:

Studies of people who have successfully created new exercise routines, for instance, show they are more likely to stick with a workout plan if they choose…a clear reward, such as a beer or an evening of guilt free television.

So don't downplay any positive changes that you make. Reward yourself and celebrate: How To Celebrate Small Wins To Achieve Big Goals

10. Keep trying

Let go of the idea that you need to be perfect at this, or that you need to do it all at once. Learning how to change habits takes a long time and will need to be refined continually. But when you are feeling down or frustrated, remember this is not about getting on or off a wagon. If you slip up, that doesn't mean you need to give up and fall back into your old habits. There is no wagon. There are just good days and bad days. If you keep your bigger goals in mind and remember how you long to find more time, work on that side project, or focus on your health, you can do it. Keep going and find what works for you!

More Articles to Help You Build Habits That Stick

• How to Break a Habit and Hack the Habit Loop
• Do You Really Understand What a Habit Is?
• How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months
• Science Tells You How Long It Takes to Break a Habit