How to Stop Being Sad and Start Feeling Happy

We live in a society where it is important to fit in. Leading a positive and happy life is highly valued and feeling sad or "blue" about life is not so valued. As a result, we are constantly trying to always be positive and happy. In our minds there is no room for sadness. This is not a realistic way to live life. Telling yourself to be positive is no help to you because your sadness when it hits you has a life of its own. Keeping up an impression of positivity and happiness when you are feeling sad is draining and hard work. If anything this charade will intensify your feelings of sadness, and you will struggle to find the pathway that will lead you to living a happy, resilient life. I believe that sadness is a base line feeling that feeds into all of our other feelings such as anger, frustration and fear. The deeper we bury the feeling of sadness the harder it is to feel happy.

"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity." Carl Jung

The 5 key strategies below are practical ways for you to successfully manage sadness in your life so you that can have a life that flows with happiness.

1. Recognize Your Type of Sadness

There are 3 types of sadness that most of us fall into:

Short-Term Sadness

This is a passing mood that may last anything from a day to a week. Sometimes there is a reason for this feeling but sometimes there is not. Generally lack of sleep, no physical activity and excess stress are associated with this sadness. The best approach to dealing with this sadness is to lower your stress level by having a few nights of great sleep, getting active by doing some exercise and looking at ways to break up your routine. Pampering your self, going for a massage, reducing alcohol intake and eating healthy food are effective ways to manage short-term sadness.

Trigger Sadness

This feeling of sadness has been activated as a result of a traumatic event that has happened to you, such as the death of someone close to you, losing your job, divorce or financial ruin. This feeling of sadness can make you feel helpless and vulnerable and it does not go away overnight. The key to managing trigger sadness is looking for ways to support you to process these feelings and not bury them. One way for you to manage these deep feelings of sadness is to talk about and share your feelings with someone who can console you, support you and counsel you. Having a supportive network of family and friends is key to you managing your feelings of sadness. It is also wise to get professional support such as a councillor or therapist to guide you through practical steps to processing your feelings of sadness. Along with these key actions and actively working on reducing the general stress levels in your life, you will find that after a period of 3 to 6 months, you will be back at a baseline feeling of happiness. This is where you start to rebuild and strengthen your foundations in life – your physical, spiritual and emotional wellbeing.

Depression

If you feel sad, hopeless, helpless, unable to eat or sleep and have no energy for a period of time of more than one month or two, then you are likely to feeling depressed. Depression is usually set off as a result of event that usually you would cope with. However, for some reason, your coping mechanism has broken down. Depression is complicated and it can vary from person to person. If you have these feelings, then it is wise that you seek the advice of a doctor. The strategies presented in the rest of this article can along with specialist support enable you to live a happy fulfilled life.

2. Identify What Happiness Means To You

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."  -- Mary Anne Roadacher-Hershey

Happiness is the only cure for sadness. There is no other cure that works better. It sounds so easy to say however it is not so easy to achieve. At its most basic level, happiness is a feeling that comes about as a result of us doing things in our lives that we love to do. So if we are feeling sad, then we should take action and activities that brings a joy such as catching up with a friend, going for a walk, getting a massage, goimg out to dinner, going to the movies, or hiding away to read a good book. The list of activities that we can do that make us feel happy is extensive. The first thing you need to do is identify what activities that you do or would like to do that bring you joy and make you feel happy. When we feel sad, we are more likely to want to withdraw and not do anything. We tend to disengage from everything that is going on around us. The only way we can start to feel happy is to take action and start doing things. We can never avoid the feelings of sadness, hurt or disappointment. However, we can deal with them in constructive ways that will help avoid excessive suffering. It is so important to know what happiness means to you because when you know this, you will have meaning and purpose in your life. This is what brings to your life the feeling of happiness and the experiences of joy.

3. Commit To Practising These 3 Actions of Happiness Daily

When you are feeling sad, you are more likely to want to avoid people. These 3 actions of happiness are very practical ways in which you take action to move away from feeling sad to feeling more joyous. All it takes is for you make a choice, take action and commit to consistently doing these actions of happiness.

Gratitude

Expressing gratitude on a daily basis and actively appreciating those people in your life who are important to you are very simple yet, powerful actions that will take you from a place of sadness to a more joyful place.

Acceptance

Accepting the things that you cannot change and acting on the things that you can change are key to you finding joy and peace in your life. Once you acknowledge the reality of your situation, you can then plan to take effective action that will enable you to move forward to a better place in your life.

Acts of Kindness

When you are feeling sad, your focus is very inward at self. Helping others is a great way to feel better about you. It is often the spontaneous acts of kindness that give us the most joy. The more we help others and the more we interact and engage with people the less we tend to withdraw and focus inwardly on our feelings of sadness. Happiness and joy are external feelings that need to be shared with others and an act of kindness is an effective way for us to share and feel joy with others.

4. Commit To Cultivating Your Personal Wellbeing

When you accept sadness in your life, your personal wellbeing will suffer. Happiness is more than a feeling; it is a longer lasting state that is called your wellbeing. Your wellbeing encompasses your state of your mind, body and emotions. When all is in balance, then you will experience contentment and peace of mind. You are more emotionally agile and physically resilient; and therefore more effective at managing the challenges that life will throw at you. Commit to making your wellbeing your top priority in your life. When you do this you become more effective at managing sadness in your life.

5. Eliminate The Phrase - I Will Be Happy When.....

Sudden happiness does not exist and the phrase "I will be happy when..." indicates that happiness comes when you get what it is you believe will make you happy. Many people think that if they win the Lottery, then they will be happy - this is not true. In a consumer driven society of today, it is easy to fall into the trap of comparing your happiness to the material gains and success of others. Be careful that you don’t equate happiness with momentary pleasure because if you do, you will eventually feel conflicted and discontent. It is these feelings will take you to a place of sadness.

Final Thoughts

Focus on looking for ways where you create a life where happiness is a feeling that you have total responsibility for - no one else, just you. When you have created a life where you have attained this, then the phrase "I will be happy when..." is eliminated from your vocabulary. How sad we feel and the reasons why we feel sad is different for everyone. The one thing we all have in common however, is that it is impossible for us to go from feeling sad to feeling happy instantly. The above five strategies are practical ways that support you to manage your feelings of sadness where you are in control and empowered to choose to how you want to feel and how you want to live your life. Let's hope you choose - happiness.

"If you look to others for fulfilment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you." -- Lao Tzu

More Articles About Pursuing Happiness

• How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up
• How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy
• How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Now
• How to Change Your Mindset for a Happy And Successful Life

Why You’re Struggling to Lose Weight (And How to Fix It)

Many years ago, I struggled with obesity. It was a time where I was on the 2 for 1 Burger King diet. The first 30 lbs were quite easy to lose, the remaining 90 lbs were extremely hard to shed off. The reason why it was so hard? Because I didn't know what to do. This is when I decided to copy what people were doing at the gym, starving myself, over consuming on certain meals and the list goes on. Eventually, I came to the realization that I was struggling to lose weight and needed to learn how to fix it. And when I learned how the right way to lose weight, I could lose 110 lbs of body fat:((Your House Fitness: The Journey It Took to Lose 120lbs)) Why I was struggling? Because I lacked the knowledge of what to do. How to fix it? By learning what will work. Not what I think might work, but what actually works. Based on experience, I can honestly tell you that 7 out of 10 personal training clients share the same problem. They're struggling to lose weight. When this situation arises, it's all about analyzing the amount of output and input in our bodies. Going to the gym and doing random exercises is not enough anymore. It's all about building a customized plan that works for you. Same with nutrition, someone else' diet may or may not work for you. Finally, we need to consider lifestyle behaviours as well.

1. Over Consuming Protein

There was a time when protein shakes would have 50 to 100 grams of protein per shake. It wasn't until this study came out that it was determined that per meal we can only ingest 20g to 30g of protein every 3 to 4 hours.((The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition: Ingested protein dose response of muscle and albumin protein synthesis after resistance exercise in young men)) Every person varies on timing and needs. Instead of having 2 chicken breast per meal (which has approximately 62 grams of protein), have 1 chicken breast per meal (31 grams).

2. Confusing Complex Carbs vs Simple Carbs

Eating a slice of bread is not the same as eating 4 cups of sweet potatoes. Simple carbs are digested quicker by the body leaving you hungry. However, complex carbs take time for the body to digest. Simples carbs are found in food such as fruits, milk, soft drinks and more. Complex carbs are found in food such as whole grains, beans, vegetables and more. Simple and Complex serve different purposes. Eating simple carbs is recommended before starting a workout if you have not eaten anything for the past 2 to 4 hours. This way you have a boost of energy. Eating complex carbs is recommended at least 30 to 45 minutes after a workout so you can replenish your glycogen levels. Eating this way will you feel satisfied after workouts, so there is no craving.

3. Not Hitting All the Muscle Groups

It's not only about doing abdominal workouts and cardio. It's about hitting all muscle groups 2-5 times a week for significant impact in the body. Beginners should start with compound movement (which target more than one muscle group). A simple guideline would be 1-3 sets of 8-12 repetitions, with a 30 second to a 1:30 break in between sets. Squats target the lower body, while the Glute-Bridges primarily targets the glutes and hamstring. Dead Push Ups target the upper body (front) and Downward Dog targets the upper back. All exercises above target the core muscle, which is why I love to leave the plank for last. The Plank targets all muscle groups if done correctly.

Squats

Dead Push Ups

Downward Dog

Glute Bridge

Plank

4. Confusing a Cheat Meal for a Cheat Day

It's not bad to break your diet from time to time. After all, we're humans! The problem is when we over indulge ourselves. Planning for one cheat meal a week will not cause major impacts to the body in regards to gaining weight. However, a cheat day will have an impact on the body to gaining weight and feeling bloated.

5. Skipping Meals

If your body is accustomed to eating a certain times during the day but you skip a meal, the body identifies this as something in the body is changing; therefore the next meal you decide to have will be stored in to our bodies as fat as a mean to survive. Unless you're doing intermittent fasting, you shouldn't skip meals. Even then, you have to know what foods to eat so the body does not store it as fat. What you shouldn't do is skip a meal for weight loss purposes. What you should do, is plan out your day or week of the meals and snack you're going to eat and focus on portion control, balancing your proteins, carbs and fats, and drink lots of water.

6. Eating till You're Full

We need to be aware of the amount of food we put on our plate. There needs to be healthy portions of carbs, fats, and protein on our plates. Instead of having 85% of your plate full of pasta (carbs), only put in 35%. Fill the rest up with as much green vegetables as you desire, then have 40% of protein (chicken breast) and 25% of fat (avocado). Below you will find an example of a portioned sized meal:

• Asparagus: 50% (Green Vegetables)
• Grilled Zucchini: 30% (Green Vegetable, Low Carb)
• Grilled Salmon: 20% (Protein & Fats)

7. Insufficient Sleep

The bodies needs to recover and process everything that it has gone throughout the day. Not only does sleeping help you fight night cravings, but it also helps to increases physical activity output because you're well rested. Can't sleep at night? Here are a couple of solutions:

• Don't bring your phone to the bedroom
• Put a timer so you can remind yourself to go to bed early
• Don't eat anything heavy before going to bed

If you're struggling to lose weight, these are some potential causes that you should check in with yourself. Follow the above weight loss hacks, and gradually you'll find yourself losing some weight and leading a healthier lifestyle. Keep it up!

12 Best Back Strengthening Exercises to Relieve Lower Back Pain

Spending your Friday evening doing back strengthening exercises may not catch your attention with ease. Yet, working to develop and maintain the muscles in your lower back can help make your favorite weekend activities more enjoyable. In fact, you may be able to add a few new activities that you have not been able to do due to your discomfort. You are in the right place if you are looking for attainable ways to improve your lower back pain with practicality. You might read through these exercises for strengthening your back and think, “Hmm. How would that stance help to take my pain away.” Once you put a few into practice, you will easily feel and recognize the benefit of each motion.((Medical News Today: Home remedies for fast back pain relief)) Your body may need a few gentle reminders each week to help get your muscles and joints back into pain-free cooperation with one another. We have a list of back strengthening exercises just for that purpose. Pick your favorites, and get started!

Benefits of Back Strengthening Exercises

Once you get into a routine and begin to draw from your own hard work, you may end up surprising yourself with how much better you feel. Your lower back needs your support to do its job well. Selecting and regularly completing yoga-style exercises can help you care for your lower back and its surrounding muscle partners.((Better Health Chiropractic & Physical Rehab: 11 Secrets for Getting Rid of Back Pain)) Even just a few days per week with these 12 exercises can help provide your muscles and joints with a sense of functionality that may have been lost or ‘misplaced’ along the way. It may not have happened all at once, and you may not have even realized for some time that a slow change was taking place in the core of your body. Injuries can happen in an instant or slowly over time, but they almost always take time to heal. Perhaps, you experienced an injury and have yet to recover fully. Start small and work your way to a full recovery. Moderate activity that matches your current condition is far more beneficial than too much activity or none and all.((Medline Plus: Taking care of your back at home)) It may be that you are not directly able to pinpoint or verbally specify where your back pain or discomfort originates. Take your time working through these 12 back strengthening exercises. Try to focus on one portion of your body at a time. Be mindful of how new your injury or pain discomfort seems to be. Acute pain may need a few days or more of rest and recovery before you begin working to build strength. Do not feel as though you must do all of the exercises each session. As you work to get rid of your lower back pain, it is going to be more important for you to go slow and ensure that each movement benefits your body. Consciously working to recognize where pain starts and what might cause it can help you better focus your process of healing. Regardless of how you acquired lower back pain, be patient with yourself as you work to recover. Be sure to push your body through uncomfortable moments, but work to avoid pushing yourself so hard that you cause further injury or create a new injury. Working with your lower back muscles can help your body be better equipped to handle the unexpected.((National Institutes of Health: Yoga or Stretching Eases Low Back Pain)) Go slow, take your time, be consistent and work hard; and you will recover efficiently. Start with a couple of exercises from each category and rotate through the different ones. Mixing up the exercises will help keep your brain interested as you work to develop a routine for healing.

12 Lower Back Focus Exercises

Directly focusing on lower back muscles and connections in the body is essential for proper recovery from pain, injury, or general discomfort.((SPINE-health: Exercise and Back Pain)) Take your time with each exercise. Start with a few repetitions, and work your way up to your desired goal over a period of weeks or maybe even a few months if needed.

1. Knee to Chest Raises

Rest with your back flat on the floor, knees bent, and feet flat on the floor. Place your hands palm down on the floor. Bring your right knee to your chest and hold for five to ten seconds. Switch sides. Repeat ten times. You may also choose to allow your opposing leg to rest in a straightened position.((verywellhealth: Knees to Chest Raises))

2. Floor Swimming

Rest prone (face down) on the floor. Bring both arms flat and stretch them straight out from your shoulders. Legs should be straight and flat on the floor with toes relaxed. Keep your head relaxed and face the floor. Raise your right arm and left leg. Count to five. Switch sides. Raise both arms and both legs while keeping your torso on the floor. Count to five. Repeat the series five to ten times slowly. Floor swimming can be done in reverse while in a supine (face up) position if abdominal work is desired, but be careful to keep your back flat and only raise one leg at a time.((PopSugar: No Need to Stand! Work Your Butt With These Floor Exercises))  

3. Straight Leg Raises (from Table Top Position)

Start in Table Top position with knees and hands on the floor. Straighten your right leg directly behind you so that it is parallel to the floor. Work to keep your right leg straight as you gently raise and lower it ten times. Switch sides. Repeat three to ten times as your ability increases.

4. Bridge

Rest flat on your back. Place your feet flat on the ground with your knees bent.((Shape Magazine: 2 Glute Bridge Exercise Variations to Target Specific Results)) Gently raise your hips and torso to form a triangle shape between your head, knees, legs, and the floor. Your head and shoulders will remain on the floor. You may rest your hands palm down on the floor or reach to touch your fingers together under your back. Squeeze your buttocks, and push down into the floor with your feet as you hold your torso off of the ground. Hold for a count of ten. Repeat five to ten times. If you have experienced a severe neck injury, you may want to wait until your neck improves or inquire with a chiropractic doctor before starting with Bridge.

Upper Back Focus Exercises

Your pain may be centralized in your lower back, but your upper back may begin to feel the strain if recovery does not allow your body to function as a unit. Giving your upper back some love will help you reunite your lower back to the rest of your body. Incorporate these upper back exercises into your routine for better comfort in your lower back muscles.

5. Modified Plank

Back pain sufferers will do well to begin with a Modified Plank. For this, allow your knees and hands to rest on the floor as you work to hold your torso off of the floor.((Hemmett Health: The Power of a Proper Plank)) Keep your arms directly under your shoulders, and your knees and lower legs on the floor behind you. Do not let your hips dip toward the floor. Hold for a count of five to ten. Remember to breathe. Repeat three to ten times increasing the number as your pain diminishes and your strength builds. Be sure not to hold your position for longer than your body can handle, especially in the beginning.

6. Front Plank

If you have begun to recover from lower back pain and are looking to minimize pain in the future, Front Plank is a great choice.((PopSugar: Doing This Exercise For Just 3 Minutes a Day Will Put You on the Road to Tighter Abs)) Begin with your hands and feet on the floor: Your hands should be directly under your shoulders with your fingers and thumbs open and comfortable. Legs straight. Toes curled. Try to imagine a straight line from the top of your head to your heels. The work comes in trying to keep your torso from bowing down without raising your hips too high. For added variety, try planking with your elbows and forearms on the floor instead of just your hands.((India Times: 7 Surprising Benefits Of Doing the Plank Exercise Every Day)) For the elbow and forearm style, imagine that your body is parallel to the floor. Hold your chosen position for a count of five to ten. Rest. Repeat three to ten times increasing the amount of time as you gain strength.

7. Side Plank

Be prepared to engage your sense of humor if you have not tried this one yet. Side plank is excellent for helping to build supporting back muscles (obliques especially), but it does take some practice getting started. Sit on the floor. Begin with your right side resting on your right elbow. (This should look similar to how you might relax and watch a movie on the floor. Your head may even rest in your right hand as you begin.)((Women's Health Mag: How To Do A Side Plank Flawlessly)) As you are able, gently push your hips upward to form an elongated triangle shape between you and the floor. It may take a few days of practice, but once you can to get into position, try counting to three, then to five, and then to ten. Practice on both your right and left side each time. Getting to ten may take you a few weeks, but you can get there if you start small! You may desire to try leaning against a wall as you learn how to balance for the Side Plank. Modification: Keep your knees on the floor and raise only your upper body.((My Health Alberta: Side Plank, Beginner))

8. Standing (or Bent Knee) Push-ups

Standing Push-ups are better for low back pain sufferers because less pressure is placed on lower back muscles. Your upper back is engaged, but your hips and abdomen are not drawing your body down during the exercise. Standard Push-ups are sometimes best left for when your lower back muscles have healed and can help you keep your body off of the ground. Place your hands on a wall at arm’s length and your feet flat on the floor. Bend your elbows until your forehead gently touches the wall or comes close. Repeat slowly ten to twenty times.((Trainer: The Top 5 Upper Body Exercises For Women)) For Bent Knee Push-ups, complete the same repetitions but with your hands and knees on the floor instead of in a standing position.((Fitnesslane: How to: Knee push ups))

Overall Core Exercises

The core of your body has been designed to help keep you upright when sitting and walking. Injuries on one side of your body often affect the other side in some way, even if we do not consciously realize it. Your spine is supported by many muscles that will do their best work in cooperation with one another.((American Association of Neurological Surgeons: Low Back Strain and Sprain)) Bring these core exercises into your day to help your lower back begin to function more efficiently and with less pain.

9. Knee to Elbow Lifts

Start in a Front or Modified Plank Position (see exercises 5 and 6) with your hands and feet on the floor. Bring your right knee close to your right elbow. Hold for a count of five (if you can).((Sassy Fit Girl: Plank Exercises)) Once you practice this a few times, you may be able to touch your elbow with your knee. Focus on trying to keep your body as parallel to the ground as you can without straining. Switch sides. Repeat three to five times.

10. Knee to Opposite Elbow Lifts

Complete the same steps as Knee to Elbow, but bring each knee to the opposite elbow instead of reaching to the same side. In the beginning, you may only be able to bring your knee halfway across your body. That is a wonderful start! Focus on keeping your body parallel to the ground. Working on decent form is far more important than how far your knee comes toward the center of your body or your chest.

11. Three Legged Dog

Begin in a Front Plank or Modified Plank Position (see exercises 5 and 6). Raise your right leg straight up and behind you as high as you are able. Ideally, your leg may end up much higher than the rest of your body, or it may stay close to the same height. Try to keep your hips squared. You may choose to keep your foot and ankle at a 90-degree angle or point your toes. Ideally, you want to create a line from your hands to the heel of your raised foot.((Fitness 1440: Three Legged Dog)) Hold for a count of three to ten. Switch sides for your raised leg. Repeat three to five times as you can without causing strain.

12. Stargazer (Kneeling Side Plank)

Sit on the floor with both legs straight in front of you. Bend your right knee and rest your right foot to your left inner thigh. Place your right hand behind you. Raise your left hand high above you as you push your body up from the floor. Straighten your left leg as you go up. Your weight will rest on your right hand and bent right knee. Stargazer may sound like a balancing act, but you can place your feet comfortably so you do not feel as though you will topple. Hold for a count of three to ten. Switch sides. Repeat three to ten times. Remember to lift your face and enjoy the view, especially if you choose to enjoy this exercise outside under the night sky!

Exercises to Avoid

Back pain does not need a new excuse to cause you discomfort as you work to heal. Remember to avoid these exercises as you recover from your lower back pain:

• Toe Touches
• Full Sit-ups
• Double Leg Lifts (Single Leg Lifts are beneficial if you are comfortable with doing them. Be sure to keep your back flat and level on the floor.)

Exercises that cause frequent or intense twisting motions are also best left for another time.

My Favorite Stretches for Relaxing the Back

Stretching is essential for building muscle strength efficiently. The combination of strengthening and stretching can help you create a wall of resistance against low back pain.((Harvard Health Publishing: Daily moves to prevent low back pain)) For added interest, alternate your chosen back strengthening exercises with a few of these yoga-style stretches:

• Happy Baby
• Triangle Pose
• Child’s Pose
• Gentle Seated Twist (Start with a slight twist and progress as your body allows.)
• Knees to Chest
• Cat and Cow (Move slowly and gently as you alternate three to five times between Cat and Cow.)

Moving Forward without Lower Back Pain

Getting started may be the hardest part of using lower back strengthening exercises to help you get rid of your discomfort. Once you have tried a couple and fallen over a time or two, you may begin to realize that these 12 exercises are not as daunting as you expected. Start with 3 a day and rotate as you try the different exercises. You do not need to learn to do all of them to develop the strength that you need to minimize or eradicate your back pain. You only need to find a few that you enjoy and are willing to do regularly enough to retain the benefits of your hard work. Choose two exercises per commercial during your favorite show. Pick one to do while you wait for your coffee to brew in the morning. Have one in mind to try when it is your turn to wait for the bathroom. Create a challenge chart and put it next to the kids’ chore chart to keep you motivated. Have your friends help you decide on a reward for a goal that you set for yourself. What will your goal be? Perhaps, a pain-free weekend adventure with the kids!

How Creativity Can Help You Get Ahead in Life

Have you ever felt limited in your abilities to do something you really wanted to pursue? Maybe it was an ambition you had, or an idea to start something. Perhaps it was an opportunity that came your way, but you weren't able to take it because something held you back. Often, we're unable to progress towards our goals because such obstacles stand in the way. We let our limitations stop or overshadow our abilities to see through to a goal. Yet, there's one thing that we rarely think of to use when trying to overcome limitations. Creativity.

What is Creativity?

When I say creativity, I'm not talking about an innate talent. Creativity is a much needed, but often neglected, skill that everyone has! It’s a skill with huge leverage that allows you to generate enormous amounts of value from relatively little input. Creativity at its heart, is being able to see things in a way that others cannot. It’s a skill that helps you find new perspectives to create new possibilities and solutions to different problems. Everything, including brilliant inventions, cannot come from nothing; it all derives from some sort of inspiration. Creativity works by connecting things together in order to derive new meaning or value. From this perspective, you can find creativity at play in many areas. For example, Mark Zuckerburg rapidly became successful by taking the previously existing concept of social media, and combining it with an incredibly simple interface that appealed to a much wider audience. Uber and Lyft combined the idea of a traditional taxi service with an incredibly efficient smartphone app. Both of these examples connect different ideas, find common ground amongst the differences, and create a completely new idea out of them. That's creativity in a nutshell, and anyone can improve theirs.

Limitations are Actually Opportunities

The advantage of using creativity, is to help you see limitations as opportunities. Take any limitation that you may find yourself facing, is there a way to look at things differently? Let me illustrate with an example. On the day of my son's 5th birthday, my wife and I arranged a party for him at a children's adventure park. His friends and family were all invited, and the plan was to have a long, fun day out to celebrate. However, the day didn't go exactly as planned... At Lifehack, we pride ourselves on a healthy work-life balance, so I wasn't concerned about taking the day off to celebrate. But, on the big day, a call came through to my phone. It was a manager from Lifehack. He excitedly told me that a group of investors were quite interested in our business proposition, and were wanting to meet later that day. This was great news! A potential investment could be coming our way. But, I was already miles away from home and the office. Plus, it was my son's birthday... I asked if I could call him back once we got settled into the park. To be honest, I was pretty certain I was not going to be able to make it. Asking to reschedule would be a risky request, but there was no way that I was going to miss my son's party. My son could sense something was off, and he asked me what was wrong. So I let him know that I just received a call about a meeting today, but also told him not to worry as today was about celebrating his birthday. But like all kids, he continued questioning me... "But daddy, is it important?" "No, of course not," I bluffed. Then, with childlike intuition and creativity, he asked: "Can't you just meet with them at the park?" And, then it struck me! This was the idea that I was missing. Even though my son didn't quite understand that it would not be possible for the investors to meet me at the park, it made sense for me to simply do a video call! I could miss 25 minutes of the party to do a quick call while the rest of the party walked through the aquarium. And, in the end, that was exactly what happened. I called back my teammate and asked him to briefly explain to the investors why I couldn't be there in person to meet, but would be happy to join via video. I took the call, and was able to spend the rest of the day at the park with my son. Not only did my son enjoy his birthday, his simple idea led to a successful investment meeting that allowed us to get funding for a new project. This is where I was able to turn a limitation into an opportunity that enabled me to reach my success.

Creativity is One Key to Success

When you use your creative ability to turn your limitations and setbacks into opportunities, you'll find doors opening for you in areas you may have never imagined. Remember, your attitude is also important when it comes to achieving a goal, and tackling a setback or problem. That's because a positive attitude transforms not just your mental state, but your physical and emotional well being. It is the key to lasting total transformation. Check out this article to learn more about how you can tune your attitude towards positivity. So, the next time you're feeling limited by your abilities, setbacks or challenges, don't give up. Really look at the situation, and see how you can leverage on your creativity to find an alternative solution.

What Is an Existential Crisis and How to Cope with It

“Life today is not what it used to be.” How many times have you heard this from your parents or grandparents? Life, few years ago—before the Internet, Youtube, Facebook, Instagram—was so much less stressful. Everything was simpler, people socialized more face to face, there was less pressure to wear many hats and pull yourself in multiple directions. Today, though, life is supposedly more advanced—we have more things to make it all more convenient, but we have so much information thrown at us that, at times, it’s hard to keep on top of everything. Bottom line—the “better” life comes as a cost—it’s more taxing and strenuous to try and keep all in balance. In addition to these global forces, on a personal level, we all go through our own metamorphoses. We all have our own battles to fight, monsters to stand up against, ups and downs we need to overcome. Eventually, we all reach a point in our lives when we are faced with some distressing event—quite often outside of our control too—such as losing a loved one, going through sickness, divorce, or any other difficulty. These unfavorable experiences make it very challenging and impossible at times to keep it all together. Simply put, we fall apart. Psychologists call such states “existential anxiety and depression,” or simply “existential crisis.” As one can gather, these are not the highlight moments of our lives, but nonetheless are very important times of discovery and reinvention. The American singer Tori Amos beautifully captured this notion:

“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.”

What Is Existential Crisis?

As the name implies, existential crisis has something to do with our existence. More specifically, it’s a period of re-examining our lives’ meaning, purpose, or values. These “big” questions are usually triggered by a traumatic event we’ve been through, which has shattered our current beliefs about our worlds. Faced with the fleeting nature of life, we realize that we don’t have control over many things that happen to us—which, admittedly, is not a comforting thought. Anxiety builds up and we end up spiralling further down and down the rabbit hole. It’s important to note that not every turning point in life leads to an existential crisis. Stress is often a normal part of the everyday and in many cases, it’s temporary and it passes. But when it lingers longer and makes us feel as everything is hollowed out of meaning, and when we start questioning our place in life and the reason for being, we can certainly say that we have fallen under the dark spell of the mental and physical distress, known as existential crisis.

Causes of Existential Crisis

As I already mentioned, existential crisis is not triggered by ordinary events which may lead to more-or-less “normal” levels of stress and anxiety—such as starting a new job, marriage, having kids, giving presentations at work or studying for a test in college. Distress becomes deeper and darker when we undergo a major trauma, loss or an ordeal. According to a piece in Healthline, possible causes of existential crisis can be any of the following:((Healthline: What Is an Existential Crisis, and How Do I Break Through It?))

• Guilt about something
• Losing a loved one in death, or facing the reality of one’s own death
• Feeling socially unfulfilled
• Dissatisfaction with self
• History of bottled up emotions

Dr. Irvin Yalom, a prominent American existential psychiatrist and a professor at Stanford University, in his book Existential Psychotherapy, has identified four primary reasons of why people may undergo existential depression — death, freedom, isolation and meaningless.((A Concious Rethink: Existential Depression: How To Defeat Your Feelings Of Meaninglessness)) Fear of death and the inability to have control over it can be, undeniably, a source of anxiety. Freedom, as surprising as it may sound, can also create a sense of uneasiness. Because when we have the ultimate freedom to act, think, speak as we want, this means that we also must take full responsibility of our actions and decisions. Everything that happens to us will be more of a direct consequence of our choices, which, of course, can be rather terrifying to some. Furthermore, although we are social creatures, the realization that we can never fully know someone or respectively—others may never fully understand is, can make us feel alone and isolated from the world, which leads to isolation existential crisis. Finally, perhaps the most wide-spread reasoning behind why some go through existential depression is because they suffer from the constant drizzles of disappointment with their lives and a sense of meaningless—that have lost their sense of belonging or of purpose and don’t see any path forward. As one can gather, it’s not a great place to dwell in. And what’s more—there is no easy fix.

Symptoms of Existential Crisis

Existential crisis is a dark period and can take a serious toll on both our mental and physical state. Someone who is deep down the depression road can have a heightened sense of:((Depression Alliance: Existential Depression: The Mental Illness of the Gifted & Talented))

• An intense or obsessive interest in the bigger meaning of life and death. The interest in exploring this may override a person’s enjoyment and engagement with other day-to-day activities.
• Extreme distress, anxiety, and sadness about the society they live in, or the overall state of the world.
• A belief that changes in anything are both impossible and futile.
• Increasingly becoming, and feeling, disconnected, isolated, and separate from other people.
• Cutting ties with other people because they feel like connections with others are meaningless or shallow and they are on a completely different level.
• Low motivation and energy levels to do anything they would normally do.
• Questioning the purpose, point or meaning of anything, and everything, in life.
• Suicidal thoughts and feelings.

So, it’s quite serious and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You can’t just “sit it out” and wait for the storm to pass. Frequently, it may not go away on its own.

How to Cope with Existential Crisis

Feelings of constant distress can be daunting, to state the least -- a true happiness-thief. So, how do you save yourself from the gloominess and the greyness you feel inside? Luckily, we are far from choice-less, psychologists tell us. In fact, there are many things that we can do to help ourselves when we start questioning the purpose of our existence and the meaning of it all. One thing that’s worth mentioning as well is that existentialists prescribe that we should learn to live and cope with the anxiety vs. eliminating it. They view even this deep distress as a normal part of life. Therefore, their strategies aim at acknowledging and managing the sunless thoughts and feelings, rather than trying to force them into positive ones. Here are some additional ways in which we can help ourselves through such distressing periods.

1. Inject Some Meaning Back into Your Life

The search for meaning is a universal one—we all want our lives to matter and leave something behind after we are gone. In my previous post, What’s the Meaning of Life? A Guide to Help You Live with Purpose, I wrote about how each one of us can create their own meaning in life. It’s through compassion and care for our wellbeing, connecting with the world and making ourselves useful.

2. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Although not ground-breaking, this idea has many proven benefits. Reminding ourselves of what we are lucky enough to have achieved, can do wonders for our mental health and will quell our anxieties.

3. Don’t Expect of Yourself to Have All the Answers

Quite often, when we mull over the big questions of our existence and purpose, we put pressure on ourselves to find the answers right away. We feel angst and disappointment with ourselves and possibly pangs of envy with those who have it all figured out. But remember, you don’t have to find a solution to everything. Just re-discover the things that are meaningful to you and make you happy. That’s all.

4. Touching and Feeling Connected

One of the prescribed ways to overcome feelings of existential isolation is through touch.((Davidson Institute: Dabrowski’s Theory and Existential Depression in Gifted Children and Adults)) For instance, practicing daily hugs can help alleviate anxiety and create a sense of belonging. The idea comes from research on mother-infant bonding and how youngsters thrive when they the physical warmth of their mothers. So, when you feel down, hug away. There are many other ways to cope with the severe distress and depression which often accompany an existential crisis. Keeping yourself busy, getting involved in helping others, learning to let go, living in the present moment are all excellent tactics to help you get out of the darkness you may feel enveloped in. The main idea behind all these techniques is to find your own reasons again for being and to re-affirm your worth.

The Bright Side of Existential Crisis

The influential Polish psychiatrist Kazinierez Dabrowski developed a theory he called Positive disintegration (in the mid-1960s).((Positive Psychology Program: Theory of Positive Disintegration 101: On Becoming Your Authentic Self)) It’s based on the notion that anxiety and distress are necessary for growth and development. Another aspect of the theory relates to gifted individuals. They are different and special, Dabrowski believed, as they are sensitive, highly emotional, intellectual, imaginational, curious, and prone to anxiety. Therefore, they are also the ones who are more likely to go through an existential crisis and depression. These people also have greater “developmental potential,” he asserted. What this means is that they look at the world through a different lens—they have better awareness of themselves and others, they try to understand and make sense of everything around them. But they are also often the lonely outcasts and the restless souls (Many great writers as Earnest Hemingway, Virginia Wolfe, Charles Dickens to name a few, have been known to have gone through an existential upheaval). So, there is, clearly, a bright side to the dark feelings that accompany an existential crisis. For one thing, it means that if you are going through one, you are likely a very gifted, intellectual and sensitive individual. More importantly, though, such condition is highly treatable. There are many paths you can take to emerge from the bleakness you feel inside.

Final Thoughts

Finding meaning in everything we do, day in and out, is not an easy undertaking. It’s normal to feel distressed when you lose your ways or when you go through a major trauma and loss. And it’s not uncommon, when faced with such deep and joyless emotions, that you take a step back and re-evaluate your life. Because it is often through pain that we emerge stronger and more resilient. No matter the challenges that fate throws our way, there is always a reason to keep going forward. You just must find it. It’s as Albert Einstein told us:

“Curiosity has its own reason for existence.”

You never really know what exciting things may wait for you around the corner; and that is the beauty of it all.

More Articles to Help You Find Meaning in Life

• How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up
• Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?
• What's the Meaning of Life? A Guide to Help You Live with Purpose
• How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life

How to Write a Career Change Resume (With Examples)

Shifting careers, tiny or big, can be paralyzing. Whether your desire for a career change is self-driven or involuntary, you can manage the panic and fear by understanding ‘why’ you are making the change. Your ability to clearly and confidently articulate your transferable skills makes it easier for employers to understand how you are best suited for the job or industry. A well written career change resume that shows you have read the job description and markets your transferable skills can increase your success for a career change.

3 Steps to Prepare Your Mind Before Working on the Resume

Step 1: Know Your ‘Why’

Career changes can be an unnerving experience. However, you can lessen the stress by making informed decisions through research. One of the best ways to do this is by conducting informational interviews.((Harvard Business Review: How to Get the Most out of an Informational Interview )) Invest time to gather information from diverse sources. Speaking to people in the career or industry that you’re pursuing will help you get clarity and check your assumptions. Here are some questions to help you get clear on your career change:

• What’s your ideal work environment?
• What’s most important to you right now?
• What type of people do you like to work with?
• What are the work skills that you enjoy doing the most?
• What do you like to do so much that you lose track of time?
• Whose career inspires you? What is it about his/her career that you admire?
• What do you dislike about your current role and work environment?

Step 2: Get Clear on What Your Transferable Skills Are((University of Victoria: Top Ten Transferable Skills Most Likely to be of Interest to Employers ))

The data gathered from your research and informational interviews will give you a clear picture of the career change that you want. There will likely be a gap between your current experience and the experience required for your desired job. This is your chance to tell your personal story and make it easy for recruiters to understand the logic behind your career change. Make a list and describe your existing skills and experience. Ask yourself: What experience do you have that is relevant to the new job or industry? Include any experience e.g., work, community, volunteer, or helping a neighbour. The key here is ANY relevant experience. Don’t be afraid to list any tasks that may seem minor to you right now. Remember this is about showcasing the fact that you have experience in the new area of work. What will the hiring manager care about and how can you demonstrate this? Based on your research you’ll have an idea of what you’ll be doing in the new job or industry. Be specific and show how your existing experience and skills makes you the best candidate for the job. Hiring managers will likely scan your resume in less than 7 seconds. Make is easy for them to see the connection between your skills and the skills that are needed. Clearly identifying your transferable skills and explaining the rationale for your career change shows the employer that you are making a serious and informed decision about your transition.

Step 3: Read the Job Posting

Each job application will be different even if they are for similar roles. Companies use different language to describe how they conduct business. For example, some companies use words like ‘systems’ while other companies use ‘processes’. When you review the job description, pay attention to the sections that describe WHAT you’ll be doing and the qualifications/skills. Take note of the type of language and words that the employer uses. You’ll want to use similar language in your resume to show that your experience meets their needs.

5 Key Sections on Your Career Change Resume (Example)

The content of the examples presented below are tailored for a high school educator who wants change careers to become a client engagement manager, however, you can easily use the same structure for your career change resume. Don’t forget to write a well crafted cover letter for your career change to match your updated resume. Your career change cover letter will provide the context and personal story that you’re not able to show in a resume.

1. Contact Information and Header

Create your own letterhead that includes your contact information. Remember to hyperlink your email and LinkedIn profile. Again, make it easy for the recruiter to contact you and learn more about you.

Example:

Jill Young

Toronto, ON | jillyoung@gmail.com | 416.222.2222 | LinkedIn Profile

2. Qualification Highlights or Summary

This is the first section that recruiters will see to determine if you meet the qualifications for the job. Use the language from the job posting combined with your transferable skills to show that you are qualified for the role. Keep this section concise and use 3 to 4 bullets. Be specific and focus on the qualifications needed for the specific job that you’re applying to. This section should be tailored for each job application. What makes you qualified for the role?

Example:

Qualifications Summary

• Experienced managing multiple stakeholder interests by building a strong network of relationships to support a variety of programs
• Experienced at resolving problems in a timely and diplomatic manner
• Ability to work with diverse groups and ensure collaboration while meeting tight timelines

3. Work Experience

Only present experiences that are relevant to the job posting. Focus on your specific transferable skills and how they apply to the new role. How this section is structured will depend on your experience and the type of career change you are making. For example, if you are changing industries you may want to list your roles before the company name. However, if you want to highlight some of the big companies you’ve worked with then you may want to list the company name first. Just make sure that you are consistent throughout your resume. Be clear and concise. Use 1 to 4 bullets to highlight your relevant work experiences for each job you list on your resume. Ensure that the information demonstrates your qualifications for the new job. Remember to align all the dates on your resume to the right margin.

Example:

Work Experience

Theater Production Manager 2018 - present

YourLocalTheater

• Collaborated with diverse groups of people to ensure a successful production while meeting tight timelines

4. Education

List your formal education in this section. For example, the name of the degrees you received and the school who issued it. To eliminate biases, I would recommend removing the year you graduated.

Example:

Education

• Bachelor of Education, University of Western Ontario
• Bachelor of Theater Studies with Honors, University of British Columbia

5. Other Activities or Interests

When you took an inventory of your transferable skills, what experiences were relevant to your new career path (that may not fit in the other resume sections?).

Example:

Other Activities

• Mentor, Pathways to Education
• Volunteer lead for coordinating all community festival vendors

Bonus Tips

Remember these core resume tips to help you effectively showcase your transferable skills:

• CAR (Context Action Result) method. Remember that each bullet on your resume needs to state the situation, the action you took and the result of your experience.
• Font. Use modern Sans Serif fonts like Tahoma, Verdana, or Arial.
• White space. Ensure that there is enough white space on your resume by adjusting your margins to a minimum of 1.5 cm. Your resume should be no more than two pages long.
• Tailor your resume for each job posting. Pay attention to the language and key words used on the job posting and adjust your resume accordingly. Make the application process easy on yourself by creating your own resume template. Highlight sections that you need to tailor for each job application.
• Get someone else to review your resume. Ideally you’d want to have someone with industry or hiring experience to provide you with insights to hone your resume. However, you also want to have someone proofread your resume for grammar and spelling errors.

The Bottom Line

It’s essential that you know why you want to change careers. Setting this foundation not only helps you with your resume, but can also help you to change your cover letter, adjust your LinkedIn profile, network during your job search, and during interviews. Ensure that all the content on your resume is relevant for the specific job you’re applying to. Remember to focus on the job posting and your transferable skills. You have a wealth of experience to draw from - don’t discount any of it! It’s time to showcase and brand yourself in the direction you’re moving towards!

More Resources to Help You Change Career Swiftly

• Signs You Need a Career Change (And How to Change for Success)
• How to Write a Cover Letter for a Career Change (Step-By-Step Guide)
• Why a Career Change at 50 Is a Great Opportunity & How to Make It Work
• How to Make a Career Change at 40 and Stop Feeling Stagnant at Work
• Signs You Need a Career Change at 30 (And How to Make It Successful)

How to Make Going Back to School at 30 Possible (And Meaningful)

All through your teens and twenties, you thought that once you arrived at the “big 30,” your life would all fall into place and you could just coast in your career. But now that the milestone has passed, you realize nothing is static about your career and you’ll need to scramble to stay ahead. Going back to school at 30 (or even 35 or 40) is a real possibility. Today you can never afford to stop learning. If you’re not moving forward in terms of amassing new skills, you’ll be left behind. Employers today seek continuous learning. More than ever before, today’s workers must anticipate what technological and societal disruptors could impact their jobs in the next few years, then proactively prepare for them. This usually comes down to further education, be it getting an MBA, taking additional seminars and classes, or obtaining new certifications. To remain relevant in today’s workforce, you must get trained -- and often retrained. But at least the effort will likely yield monetary rewards. Studies show that students with a college degree earned 57 percent more than those with only a high school degree. And those with a master’s degree or higher had 28 percent higher earnings than those with a bachelor’s degree. The message? Keep learning!

1. Position Yourself for Your Future-Ready Career

Your skills need to improve at the speed of technology -- which is lightning fast. To position yourself for the future, you’ll likely need advanced technical training that allows you to stay on top of new changes. When setting out to go back to school as a working adult, look for programs that will arm you with the practical skills you’ll need. Ask professionals in the field of your dreams what specific training is required. One way to meet these professionals is through LinkedIn, or start attending industry events. Learn the industry’s standard requirements by reading job postings and noting the educational and technical qualifications. Make sure, too, that the industry is on an upward trajectory so that your effort will pay off. You don’t want to spend thousands of dollars, only to be told you’re now “overqualified.”

2. Learn the Lingo: Certificates, Certifications, and Degrees

But before you start those conversations, you may want to brush up on the lingo that defines today’s advanced education. Figure out if you should pursue a certificate, a professional certification or a degree. A certificate is likely the easiest, lowest-cost option. Certificates are generally awarded in non-degree granting programs. You take classes to bolster your knowledge on a particular subject. But make no mistake: adding this information to your resume will help you stand out. After all, you’re showing a commitment to lifelong learning! By contrast, certifications qualify you to perform a particular job or task. Some technical and educational fields require professional certifications as a cost of entry. Advanced degrees often require even more of a time commitment, but can help your earnings skyrocket. MBAs and MFAs are good examples. An MBA (Masters of Business Administration) is often required if you plan on transferring to a financial field. An MFA (Masters of Fine Arts) allows writers to teach at accredited schools and colleges. If you can’t see yourself leaving your job for a few years to pursue these degrees, investigate Executive MBAs and other low-residency options. Maybe there’s a way to accumulate credits toward your degree while you hold down your job.

3. Tell Yourself: It’s Never Too Late to Learn

While further training is one lure to send you back to school at 30 or beyond, you might also decide that it’s important to finish a degree that you started, but for various reasons put on hold. This was the case with Shaquille O’Neal, or “Shaq” as he’s widely known. He embarked on his 19-year NBA career having completed only three years at Louisiana State University. But he later earned his Bachelor’s in general studies, and went on to earn an MBA and then a PhD in education. Steven Spielberg was also compelled to finish a degree he hadn’t completed. He dropped out of California State University, Long Beach, just a few credits short of earning his degree. More than three decades later, he finished his requirements, which included submitting his film, “Schindler’s List,” to satisfy a film course requirement. It’s possible that, by age 30, you’ve discovered the career direction you pursued in your 20s is to no longer a field in which you ultimately want to remain. This happened with Carly Fiorina, CEO of Hewlett Packard and U.S. presidential candidate in 2016. She enrolled in law school after earning a history and philosophy undergraduate degree from Stanford. But after one semester, she dropped out and found employment at a commercial property brokerage firm. Ultimately, she wanted to explore other areas of business and went back to earn an MBA. It landed her a job at AT&T, where she was promoted within two years to a management position. The company sponsored Fiorina in a fellowship program at the Sloan School of Management at MIT that set her on her trajectory to become CEO of HP. Going back to school at 30 -- or once adult life catches up with you -- can prove challenging, especially if you’re juggling multiple obligations. For example, Mandy Ginsberg, CEO of Match Group North America, the parent company of Tinder and other online dating services, enrolled in one of the most challenging academic environments in the world as a single mother. The chaos of earning an MBA from University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business and raising a child at the same time proved doable by mobilizing a support team around her.

4. Find Your Balance

Whether you’re taking a few skill-based classes or aiming for a full degree, often the most difficult aspect of going back to school when you’re 30 and over is finding the time. Not only do you have the demands of staying on top of course work, but you also may likely have to balance them with the demands of your day job -- and perhaps even a spouse and kids. If you plan to go back to school at 30 or beyond, make sure you know precisely what you want out of your degree. Do your research before choosing a school or program. Look up the school’s program rankings and make note of the program’s graduation rate and what types of jobs its graduates land. Write yourself a goals chart, and tack it on a bulletin board above your home computer. Studies show that writing down your goals is the best way to achieve them. And what about online options? Online programs may be your best choice in terms of convenience and targeted degree options. But they sometimes lack the cachet of the in-person study programs. Before deciding to go the online route, make sure the school is reputable, accredited, and that students are offered the support they need. Look for reviews to give you a glimpse of student reactions to various programs. If you can afford to take time off from your current job and return to campus, you may find it easier to foster new connections among professors and classmates who will hopefully all become an integral part of your business network. As you investigate how to straddle the simultaneous demands of work and school, determine whether you can cut back to part-time work and go to school full-time. If so, you’ll finish your degree more quickly. But, if you need to maintain a full-time job, find out in advance the minimum course load for enrollment. While part-time enrollment can make work more manageable, it may not allow you to be eligible for financial aid.

The Bottom Line

Ideally, your education should open doors to a career that will allow you to pay back any resulting student debt. Still, it’s important that you do the math to know whether it will pay in the long run to go back to school. Compare the cost of tuition and other fees with the revenue you’ll likely earn. It’s a good idea to tell your coworkers and boss that you’re going back to school. This will show them that you have the drive to better yourself. When they know what you’re undertaking, they may be more understanding as you juggle your added responsibilities. Your employer might also be able to help out with paying some of the cost if the company has a tuition-reimbursement program. Going back to school at 30 will show current and future employers that your brain is still active and your outlook is still expansive. At 30 -- and beyond -- there’s no reason not to pursue schooling that will pay dividends in the future.

More Articles About Lifelong Learning

• 17 Best Careers Worth Going Back to School for at 40
• Going Back to School at 40 Helps Create a New Golden Age: Here’s How
• 15 Ways to Cultivate Lifelong Learning for a Sharper Brain
• 8 Ways to Continuously Achieve Personal Growth

Joy Vs Happiness: What’s the Difference and Can We Achieve Both?

What do you want most in life? We’ve all been asked this particular question on multiple occasions. For many of us, the answer is simple – to live a happy life. We want to achieve happiness, and although the outlook of happiness is different for every one of us, that striking emotion still stays the same. But why don’t we ever answer – to live a joyful life? Or to be joyful. Although the terms happiness and joy are both very similar and may fall under the same category, they both spark different emotions for everyone. The words themselves weigh differently and bring an awareness to our consciousness depending on our situations.

Joy vs Happiness -- What’s the Difference?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of joy and happiness:((Merriam-Webster dictionary: Joy and Happiness))

Joy is the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires. Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment; a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Keep in mind, although this is the dictionary definition, we have the openness to determine what happiness and joy personally mean in our lives. Joy is an emotion. It’s a simple and light-hearted spark that transcends through your body and leaves feeling good vibrations. It carries no burden or expectations. Happiness – also an emotion – is usually accompanied with an attachment to an idea, a destination or experience. As a result, it tends to weigh profoundly heavier on our subconscious. Usually when we don’t meet these set expectations, it effects our happiness in the different areas of our lives. There are many ways to look at happiness and joy and how we can achieve both in our lifetime. But first, let’s take it back by honing into our life’s work -- also known as our purpose.

Anchoring our Purpose

We're meant to have multiple purposes in our lives and not just one. We find our purpose through our passions and the things that make us feel alive. As we continue to gain experience in our careers, relationships, partnerships, and living day-by-day, our purpose may begin to change. It may shift towards a completely different direction, but the anchor that keeps us in alignment with our values is the key to understanding what makes us happy. With that said, here are the many ways to look at both happiness and joy, and how they both intertwine in our lives.

Ways of Looking at Happiness And Joy

1. Happiness Is a Destination; Joy Is an Attitude.

Take a moment and envision the life you desire. That vision is a destination. Are freedom and travel a considerable component of your vision? Or is it the stability and the comfort of being surrounded by your loved ones? Your vision may be of living in a cozy cottage surrounded by a luscious green yard in Europe or working for a Fortune 500 company in New York City. Whatever your vision may be – don't ignore it. Your vision is a destination, and the destination is the key to understanding your happy place and how to continue forward with that vision in mind. One way to look at happiness vs. joy is visualizing happiness as the end-goal or destination whereas joy is the milestones that lead to the end-goal. Joy, on the other hand, is light-hearted and simple. It comes and passes through without the heaviness of it being a "final destination" because joy is an attitude.

2. Happiness and Joy Go Hand in Hand.

Happiness is like rising bubbles — delightful and inevitably fleeting. Joy is the oxygen — ever present. – Danielle LaPorte.

Sometimes, we place a lot of pressure on the idea of “happiness” with the expectancy of it to be delivered in the most grandeur way. The truth is, we are never going to be happy unless we practice joy. Gratitude is a way of seeing the joy in the little things. There are many techniques to go about practicing gratitude such as journaling and the art of subtracting, all with the intention of looking at things on a smaller scale. Looking at the bigger picture can be overwhelming as we can sometimes get caught up in the negatives of life. Take a second to look at the small things that create a significant impact in our world such as having access to clean water or having a vehicle to take you to and from work. We go about these everyday mundane routines without taking a second to think, "what if we didn't have these luxuries." The more you practice gratitude, the easier it will be to see the simple joys in our everyday lives.

3. One Requires Control, the Other Doesn’t

Life is composed of the things we have and don’t have control over. Living also means learning how to navigate through life when we lose that control. According to a report by The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, “autonomy" – defined as “the feeling that your life - its activities and habits - are self-chosen and self-endorsed” is the number one contributor to happiness.((Psychology Today: The No. 1 Contributor to Happiness)) When it comes to happiness, we sometimes feel trapped in those moments where if we acquire "x" then it will result to "z" (happiness):

• When I have more money, then I can be happy.
• When I have more time, then I can be happy.
• When I purchase a house, then I can be happy.

We all know this isn't the case and life happens unexpectedly where money does not easily flow and acquiring "more time" is difficult. Here, money, time, and a home are portrayed as "goals" we want to attain in order to feel fulfilled. These are also things we have control over. On the other hand, break-ups or death of a loved one are deep and profound moments when we realize that as humans we can only control so much of an outcome. There are ways to still spark joy even in the darkest of moments. With death, you celebrate the memory and the life of that person. Sharing their stories keep them alive in your thoughts and from those stories stem the emotion of love. Love, joy, and gratitude all intertwine with one another. Breakups are difficult, because we are caught between a limbo of what we could have done differently vs. what has been done. You can still feel joy even when going through a a break-up by appreciating the little things that already bring joy to your every day life; whether it be a hot cup of coffee, morning run, or painting, these feelings of joy which you can tap into regardless of your situation.

4. You Can Still Feel Joy and Not Be Happy

You can still feel joy in an unhappy place. Some of my best years in the work-force was working in an industry that wasn't quite aligned with my interest. I enjoyed the company of my colleagues, and can say that working in a hotel has given me a solid backbone. Yet, at the time I was very blinded by the fact that, "this isn't what I want to be doing" and "this isn't what I studied." I wanted to utilize my degree in media, and cutting keycard and checking-in guests was far from what I imagined as my "happy place." What does this have to do with happiness and joy? You can still feel joy through your actions because your action is what is in alignment to your values. It was through conversing with guests that I realized I found joy in human connectivity. It was through efficient teamwork, that I felt joy being surrounded by a close-knitted community. It was my value of having strong work-ethics that kept me grounded and accountable to my work. All these realizations brought clarity because it sparked an emotion from me. Looking past the feeling of, "I don't want to be here" taught me to see the reasons of why I stayed; to the point where I was convinced that I quite enjoyed hospitality. It is possible to find these hidden things when you step away from the big picture. Once you realize how your actions play a role in your "joy," you'll begin to realize that happiness is but a destination that keeps you accountable to your goals.

Final Thoughts

Joy and happiness co-exist for an important reason – to allow us to live a fulfilling life. While one is more accountable to our goals, wishes and desires, the other is a natural instinct and emotion that has always lived within us. External factors and situations will always influence our outlook of happiness and joy, but life is to be lived and to be simply enjoyed. Whether it's to be happy or to feel joyful, you clearly can't go wrong feeling either.

More Articles About Happiness & Motivation

• How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up
• How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Now
• How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy
• How to Change Your Mindset for a Happy And Successful Life

11 Partner Yoga Poses for Couples to Build Intimacy

Our partners are mirrors to our true self. By embracing a partner yoga practice with one another, we not only lean on each other for support - literally and metaphorically - but we also exercise our vulnerability with one another. Science has found that by doing so, we're strengthening our social connections and relationships, which leads to longer lives, healthier habits, reduced stress, and a deeper sense of life meaning.((Psych Alive: How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships)) So how does yoga help with this exactly? In Sanskrit, "yoga" comes from the word yuj, meaning "to yoke" or "to unite".((Anada: The Yogic Encyclopedia)) It's only appropriate to mirror that definition with a partner, and in essence, begin to unite two people as a whole. Partner yoga also has its roots in building trust and communication, which are cornerstones of a healthy, intimate, and successful relationship. Let's break down some poses for a deeper dive:

1. Breathing Together

A great yoga practice begins with the breath. It's a simple yet powerful way of connecting to your own body and noticing any sensations that arise. Find a seated position with your partner, your backs touching. With eyes closed, tune into you breathing, and begin to deepen the inhales and the exhales. You will feel the rise and fall of your partner's breathing, as you tune into each other's rhythms. See if you can still maintain your own breath, even when it becomes tempting to mirror the breathing of your partner; allow this rhythm to lull you deeper into becoming present and aware of each other's space. Even in unity, you honor your own body and breath, and that honor extends outward to your partner. With this life force - prana ((J Altern Complement Med. : Sudarshan Kriya yogic breathing in the treatment of stress, anxiety, and depression: part I-neurophysiologic model.)) - you're able to find a richer connection to each other with a simple act of breathing. Do this exercise for 3-5 minutes, or as long as it is comfortable.

2. Partner Twist

A twist is a great natural detox for the body. When the torso is twisted in the opposite direction, the movement acts as a wringing action for the internal organs, and via an exhale, built-up toxicity can be eliminated from the body.((Shape: Yoga Poses to Detox Naturally)) With your backs touching, take a deep breath in. As you exhale, gently twist, going in the opposite direction of each other. Take one hand and place it on your opposite knee, with the other hand reaching back for your partner's. Use a yoga strap if this is not available. Allow the breathing to once again sync you with your partner's rhythm, and notice what it's like to have the support of your partner's hand to help ease a little deeper into the twist. Stay in the twist for 5 full breaths, and then switch sides.

3. Backbend/Forward Fold

While your backs are still touching, communicate who will fold forward and who will come into a backbend. You'll have a chance to switch sides. The person folding forward will reach their hands forward and either rest their forehead down on the mat, or place it on a block for support. The person doing a backbend will lean back on their partner's back and open the front of their heart and chest. Breathe deeply here, and see if you can feel each other's breaths again. In yoga, the heart is thought of as the place in front and back of your chest, as it's the same area opening. So in this pose, even though you're doing the opposite move, your hearts are still connected. Think about how that translates to your relationship off the mat. Stay in this pose for 5 full breaths, and switch when you're both ready.

4. Soul Gazing

This exercise is deeply personal and nourishing, as you sit facing your partner, gently gazing into their eyes. Rest your hands on their knees or in their hands, and allow them to do the same. This will further connect you with the power of touch. Once you're settled (and the giggles have subsided from direct eye contact), begin to truly see your partner. In the chaos of our days and weeks, we don't often get the chance to sit down and take in the person with whom we share our life. Gently gaze and take in your partner's features, uniqueness, and energy, and allow them to see you in return. Not only is this centering for the rest of your practice, it's also deeply loving and compassionate. Stay in this exercise for 5 minutes or longer, if you both feel tuned in.

5. Seated and Supported Cat/Cow

From a seated position, reach for your partner's forearms and interlace. As you inhale, arch your back and lift your heart to the sky, maybe even lifting the gaze to expose and open the throat. As you exhale, round the spine and pull back, using the resistance of each other's arms as support, bringing the gaze inward toward your chest. Repeat the movements 3-5 times, or as long as you feel comfortable. Allow this support from your partner to begin to build trust and surrender, as well as communication. Speak out to what feels good in this pose, and ask your partner the same. While the pose is done in tandem, your experience of it in your own body is going to vary. Take this time to share those sensations, and become curious of your partner's.

6. Seated and Supported Forward Fold

In relationships, we know that we don't have to do everything on our own. We have our best ally in our corner to help us out. Likewise in this pose, come into a wide-legged seat with the soles of your feet touching. Reach the arms forward and interlace, and then take turns gently pulling one another closer past middle, using each other as resistance in this Forward Fold. Stay here for 5 full breaths each. While this pose is a deep stretch, maybe opt for more of a playful approach! If laughter comes naturally or someone cracks a joke, go along! Find fun in working out and being with one another. It's a surefire way to relieve any stress or tension, and remind each other of the simpler things that bring you both some more smiles.

7. Partner Boat Pose

When it comes to postures that are challenging, having a partner mirroring and supporting you can go a long way to giving you that extra boost of confidence and energy. And because they're doing it with you, too, you can both share in the achievement of rocking this core-engaging posture. Start in a seated position, facing one another, a little further away to give enough room for extending the legs. When you're ready, come into Boat pose one leg at a time, until the soles of your feet are touching. Use them as resistance to further stabilize this pose. If available, reach for each other's hands, and find each other's gaze. Smile and breathe. Communicate how you're feeling and root each other on for 5 full breaths.

8. Double Downward Dog

Speaking of building trust, this pose will give you and your partner a chance to work together toward a common goal. This pose is also all about communication, and speaking your mind when you're ready to come down or are feeling a sensation that you'd like to share with your significant other. With your partner in traditional Downward Dog, set yourself up by coming into a Forward Fold at the top of the mat. Lifting one foot at a time, place your feet at the base of your partner's spine. You may need to adjust your feet or walk your hands back once you get into this, to readjust. Once in the pose, breathe there for 5 full breaths, before you switch. After you come out, touch base on how it felt and what you experienced. Share in the pose together by bringing in your specific perspective.

9. Reverse Warrior Partner Pose

If it's not evident from the photo above, this pose is all about creating love - literally and symbolically. Begin in Warrior Two facing away from each other, with the outside of your back foot touching. Allow this back foot connection to unite you together in the pose, building a shared foundation from which you can stabilize. Take a deep breath in, and on an exhale, come into your Reverse Warrior by lifting one arm overhead and reaching back for your partner's grasp, creating a heart shape in the middle of your joined pose. Use a yoga strap if catching your partner's hand is not available. Take your other hand and wrap it behind your waist. Settle your attention on your breathing and press into your partner's foot as they do the same. Likewise, mirror the support of their hand in yours. The love you create in your relationship is a two-way street. Remind yourself of all the wonderful ways in which you give and take to build that love. Take 5 full breaths here, and then release when you're both ready.

10. Double Tree Pose

No man is an island, and likewise, no tree thrives without support. In this partner pose, begin in your own Tree, by lifting one leg and pressing the sole of the foot into the thigh or down lower on the calf. When you've caught your balance, extend one hand to your partner's and meet them, palms touching, in the center between your respective Tree postures. Take your other hand and reach it back behind your partner, giving them a loving embrace. Stay here for 5 full breaths before switching sides. Even though your Tree pose is your own, find the center connection that brings you both together in unity. Allow yourself to feel and appreciate the support you get from your partner, on and especially off the mat.

11. Standing Partner Backbend

Opening our hearts to each other is the most raw way of showing our vulnerability. That's why this pose is so powerful in tandem. By using each other for support, you're reassuring your partner that anything is possible (and better) when you have each other. Start standing and facing each other, as you interlace each other's forearms. Take a deep breath in as you hold each other's gaze, and on an exhale, lean back to open your heart to the sky, using each other's arms as resistance. Stay here for 5 full breaths, or as long as it's comfortable for you both. Release and end with a hug, honoring the space you've created for each other and yourself.

Final Thoughts

Partner yoga asks for vulnerability. Through the power of touch and synced breathing, we forge deeper and richer connections in our relationship with our partner. The experiences we share together and individually in these yoga postures become topics of communication that can help us learn more about each other and ourselves, further growing our intimacy to heights never felt before. Practice these poses with your partner whenever you are craving that bough of connection or intimacy. Challenge each other with postures that are both energizing and restorative, and tune into each other's unique experiences for more wholesomeness in your relationship.