The Lifehack Show Episode 2: Making the Most of the Limited Time We Have

In this episode of The Lifehack Show, we interview James Wallman, a trend forecaster, journalist, and speaker who has written for The New York Times, GQ, Fast Company, and the Financial Times. Here he shares his insight about time, happiness, and using obstacles and setbacks to help propel you forward in life. He also talks a bit about his new book Time and How to Spend It; in this book, James investigates the effects of wasted time, and shares a revolutionary approach, which will make your life more meaningful, and bring you more happiness.

Episode 2: Making the Most of the Limited Time We Have

Also available on Apple Podcasts, Radio Public, Breaker, and Google Podcasts.  

20 Delicious and Healthy Breakfast for Weight Loss

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day". I can feel you rolling your eyes at me from across the screen. But, as with most phrases that seem dully overused, it's true! Breakfast is essential! I know skipping it can seem tempting. I mean, hey, I've even fallen into the trap of believing that skipping that meal would somehow magically defy all the advice I hear and help me lose weight. However, the most important thing you can do to set yourself up for a day of success is to start it off with a delicious and nutritious breakfast. I know that can be a real struggle for some of us. Who has time for meal prepping and cooking meals? And how do you even know where to start? That, my friends, is what I am here to show you! I am about to guide you through my favorite healthy breakfast for weight loss that you can add to your morning ritual that are quick and easy. You're days of eating dirt-tasting granola bars are gone! These 20 delicious morning recipes will make eating healthy on a busy morning feel like a breeze and taste better than those donuts you sacrificed for your new healthy lifestyle!

1. Overnight Oats

You already know all about the power of oats but sometimes, the extra effort of boiling some water for your cup just doesn't sound that appealing. Here's the solution: Create a bunch of about 5 mason jars of oats, one for each workday, to keep in the fridge. I love adding a scoop or two of protein in there as well! It creates the perfect blend of macro nutrients to keep you balanced and satiated throughout the day. Check out the recipe here!

2. Chia Seed Pudding

The great thing about chia is that it is so high in omega 3s- a nutrient that is renowned for balancing hormones, reducing inflammation, and weight loss. Adding this power-packed breakfast to your arsenal is a surefire way to reach your fitness goals! While this delicious recipe calls for maple syrup, I like using 100% stevia or Monk fruit instead to lower the glycemic index and keep it more weight-loss friendly. Check out the recipe here!

3. Bell Pepper Pirates Eye

Pirates Eye, Egg in the Hole, Egg in Bread... while this classic breakfast may have many different names, it remains a household favorite! This variation simply adds a new twist to an old classic, making it even healthier than ever! Check out the recipe here!

4. Avocado Toast

I'm sure you're not surprised to see this one on the list. Models like Romee Strijd have brought this breakfast into fame quickly! It's quick, easy, delicious, and well rounded. So of course, who wouldn't want to have a bite of that? Check out the recipe here!

5. Smoothie Bags

How could smoothies get any easier? By pre-packing frozen bags for them of course! It literally makes it as easy as tossing a bag full of ingredients in the blender, pressing a button, and boom! There you have it! A nutrient packed meal to power you through the day! Check out the recipe here!

6. Banana Pancakes

Oh, so you didn't think pancakes would make this list huh? Surprise! These delicious pancakes are super easy to whip up on the fly. And on top of that, you only need two ingredients: just the banana and egg. You can even find recipes that are vegan. While these might be a little more dense than your traditional pancake, you will not be let down! They are D-E-L- I-C-I-O-U-S! And of course, if you see a trend going on here, healthy as well. Check out the recipe here!

7. Protein Pancakes

Surprise again! I know what you're thinking, "More pancake recipes? I thought this was a post on healthy breakfast meals". It is, but that doesn't disqualify pancakes from making it twice on this list. This recipe is amazing for you fitness buffs out there always looking for an extra boost of protein! Check out the recipe here!

8. Omelet Waffle

Who says that waffle maker sitting unused since your health-kick has to go unused? Turns out, waffle makers are an excellent way to make a quick breakfast on the go! You can even sub egg white for an extra lean and protein packed breakfast Check out the recipe here!

9. Low-Calorie Ice Cream

This recipe uses gelatin as the base for a scrumptious whipped up meal. While you shouldn't necessarily expect the classic thick tubbed ice cream, this lighter and fluffier version still makes for a great substitute. And, since gelatin is 100% protein, you can still get a gut-healing, muscle building, and balancing boost from this meal! Check out the recipe here!

10. Berry Smoothie Bowl

Not all smoothie bowls have to be a large feat. This smoothie bowl is extremely simple to make and still delicious! That happens to be the Minimalist Baker's specialty. Check out the recipe here!

11. Huevos Rancheros

While this breakfast may seem like too much of a feat for a work morning, it is still fairly simple to whip up! I think this makes for a perfect weekend recipe if you're ready to switch things up a bit! Check out the recipe here!

12. Jello

Yes, Jello can be a perfectly acceptable breakfast! Believe it or not, Gelatin in itself can actually be quite good for you depending on the source. I love Great Lakes Gelatin, since they are naturally sourced. These natural sources of gelatin are packed with high amounts of protein and gut-healing properties! Health starts in the gut, and this recipe can help accomplish that! Check out the recipe here!

13. Egg Muffins

The inventor’s bodies are proof that their meal plans definitely work! This quick and easy breakfast idea was invented by Tone It Up: a revokutionary empire! One thing these girls always rep is protein, protein, protein. these low calorie bites are going to be exactly what it takes to help you hit your protein macros daily! Check out the recipe here!

14. Power Up Tacos

Who said that tacos are only for dinner? Not me! This protein packed savory goodness is stuffed with egg, feta, beans, and seemingly everything else you will need to stay full until lunch! Say goodbye to mid-day binges! This is sure to keep you full well past lunch time. Check out the recipe here!

15. Quiche in a Mug

It feels like America is out to prove that just about anything can be made in a mug! But quiche? Who knew this breakfast of kings could be cooked up in under 5 minutes!? Fir those of you wanting breakfast like royalty on the go, definitely add this to your morning cookbook! Check out the recipe here!

16. Protein Brownie in a Mug

What? Brownies in a breakfast food list? Well why not? Hey, if pancakes are a regular breakfast occurrence (pan-CAKE. Who are you fooling?) then why not add a bit of chocolately goodness to the mix? Despite its delicious sweetness, protein brownies are actually deceivingly healthy. With protein powder as it’s base, it really isn’t much different that your morning smoothie. Check out the recipe here!

17. Matcha Glazed Donuts

Another genius creation of the tone it up girls, these Matcha Donuts are made almost entirely out of protein powder! You won't feel deprived as your waist-line is shrinking with these amazing breakfast editions. Plus, the extra matcha kick will keep you running all morning! Check out the recipe here!

18. Smoked Salmon Bagel

Have you ever tried that Lox-Flavored cream cheese? Picture that times 10! These amazing Salmon bagels are fresh and delicious, giving your morning a savory start. Salmon is packed with Omega 3's and protein while the bagel will give you all the fiber and carbs you need for a morning kick-start. Next time you feel a rushed morning coming on, throw this together and you'll feel as though your breakfast was made gourmet. Check out the recipe here!

20. Cinnamon Roll French Toast Casserole

Are you cooking for a crew? This Casserole is the perfect option for people cooking for large groups without the hassle of staying in the kitchen. If you are really looking to impress company, check this one out as a new go-to! Check out the recipe here!

20. Gut Healing Latte

This drink makes a great addition as it adds a great punch of gut-healing protein with gelatin and set your day up right. On top of that, this "coffee" drink is actually extremely detoxing and caffeine free! You'll be sipping on herbs while thinking you are actually drinking America's favorite drink. This latte has been a personal favorite of mine for a while now. Having it first thing in the morning always seems to settle my stomach and set me up for a day of success! Check out the recipe here!

Bonus Tips

• Meal prep is key! Designate a specific time each week to accomplish all of your prep-plans. Cut your veggies, go shopping, make your smoothie bags, etc. Doing this will really help keep you on track when you are having a rushed morning.
• Make a meal plan for each week. If you don't have a meal plan, you likely will find yourself reaching for the wrong types of food when hunger strikes. Plan in advance by lying out each one of your meals for the next week. It will really help your budget when going grocery shopping too!
• Plan only a few meals each week. When I'm meal prepping, I find about 2 to 3 breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. It honestly makes things so much easier to be able to prep huge meals in advance and split it up throughout the week rather than making a different complicated recipe for every single meal.
• Master the 5-minute recipes! Overnight oats, chia pudding, salad in a jars, smoothie in a bag, and other recipes like that hardly take any time to prep. Make these meals your staples. You'll be far more likely to stick to a meal plan if it doesn't take hours from your week to prep.
• Use a shopping app. I love the app Prepear because of how simple it makes meal planning for me. You just add whatever online recipe you want to make into your meal plan and it breaks down all the ingredients for you to pick up! It is a real time saver!
• Try making your staple foods in bulk. When I was doing a raw-vegan challenge, I would meal prep one day each week and make massive amount of cauliflower rice, veggie noodles, cut vegetables, and anything else I thought I could use to throw together a quick vegan meal. This really helped keep my meals fresh and interesting in the middle of a long and busy week.

More About Losing Weight

• 25 Easy Fast Healthy Dinner Recipes to Try (And Go Paleo) This Week
• Why You're Struggling to Lose Weight (And How to Fix It)
• 14 Healthy Easy Recipes for People on the Go
• 20 Juice and Smoothie Recipes for Energy and Vitality
• Need Motivation to Lose Weight? 17 Ideas to Get Inspired Right Now

5 Solid Strategies to Boost Your Confidence at Work

Let me be honest with you: I was never a straight-A student. Sure I had good grades, but they certainly weren’t anything special. And, because of this, my self-esteem and confidence levels were lower than many of my high-achieving friends. However, I later discovered one of the keys to abundant confidence. This discovery came about what I started to become interested in computer coding. As I began to learn how to code and to create programs, something unexpected happened — my confidence started to soar. What was behind this sudden boost in confidence? It was the self-reliance I was developing by overcoming issues and bugs with the code I was working on. By learning how to solve difficult coding problems, I learned the little-practiced arts of persistence and creativity; which led to a tangible uplift in my self-confidence. As you can see from the above, confidence must be found from within. It can never be found from outside. Working through difficulties is one of the best ways to develop your self-confidence. Each time you overcome a challenge or break through an obstacle — you’ll push your confidence a little higher than it was before. So next time you find yourself struggling with a deadline at work or facing a financial challenge, be sure to meet them head on. With a positive mindset, you’ll be able to find ways to overcome these and other challenges. And, as I’ve already mentioned, you’ll be rewarded with a tangible boost to your self-confidence. You’ll also open the door to opportunities that can help you reach and exceed your goals. Of course, as well as overcoming challenges, there are other ways that you can increase your confidence levels.

1. See Yourself as Equal to Everyone Else

Do you see yourself as equal to your line manager? How about your company’s directors? Do you see yourself as equal to them? If you allow yourself to feel less than others, you’ll never reach your full potential. You’ll lack the necessary confidence to do the things you want and need to do. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. Instead of seeing others as more important than yourself, start seeing them as equals. One easy way to do this is to keep in mind that your manager, your company higher ups and even their leaders — are all on the same team! You all want your company to succeed, and each person (including you) has their part to play. Shift your mindset to team-playing, and watch your confidence levels soar.

2. Do the Right Thing

Have you noticed that when you do something morally wrong, you feel bad inside? But, when you do something good (perhaps helping someone out of a difficult situation) — you feel great! So guess what? The more bad things you do, the lower your self-esteem and confidence levels will drop. But, the more helpful and useful you are in your life, the higher your self-esteem and confidence will rise. That’s why I recommend that you should always strive to be kind, compassionate and helpful. This will allow you to benefit the greater good — as well as benefit yourself.

3. Dress for Success

Imagine turning up to a job interview in T-shirt and jeans, only to find that the other candidates are all smartly attired in suits or dresses. I’m guessing you would feel a little embarrassed, a little out of place, and perhaps… a little deflated! That’s why it’s always best to dress smarter than you might think is needed. This will always be better than looking underdressed. But, how about your day-to-day appearance? Do you make an effort in a morning to make sure you look your best? If you don’t; you should. When you dress and groom well — you’ll feel good about yourself, too. And, others will pick up on your confident manner and appearance, and will inevitably treat you with more respect (further boosting your confidence.) As Friedrich Schiller once wrote: “Appearance rules the world.”

4. Celebrate All Your Victories, Both Big and Small

You’re 15 years old, and you’ve decided you’d love to become a medical doctor. To make this goal a reality, you discover that you’ll need to train for at least 11 years before you can gain your medical license. Yes, 11 years! Clearly, this is a HUGE commitment, and will take intense persistence, focus and energy on your part to reach your end goal. Now, let me ask you a question: “Would you throw a big party when you finally got your license?” I’m sure you would. And, you’d definitely deserve it. But to keep you on track throughout your years of training, I’d suggest celebrating each milestone along the way. For example, throw a few parties… one when you complete your undergraduate degree program, one when you complete medical school, and one when you complete your residency training. You could also reward yourself for the small but important steps that you take to achieve each of these milestones. When you celebrate the big and small victories in your life, you’ll keep yourself pumped up, confident and enthusiastic for success. Try it and see!

5. Always Be Prepared

Do you always expect the unexpected? From my experience as an entrepreneur, I’ve learned the hard way that even our best and most precise plans can be blown out of the water in an instant! For example, I remember many years ago pitching my Lifehack idea to potential investors. At one meeting, I whipped out my laptop to launch my prepared presentation, only to find that the machine was completely unresponsive. My impressive charts, data and business plan were trapped within a dead metal case! Fortunately, I was able to talk at length without notes about my idea, but I have to admit that I was knocked off balance by the laptop issue. This experience and others taught me the value of always being prepared. While it’s impossible to know exactly what’s going to happen in the future, you can at least be mentally prepared for things to go wrong, differently or even completely crazy! So prepare for the worst — but expect the best! As you can hopefully see from the strategies above, there are several simple ways to begin boosting your confidence right now. But, it all starts with your mindset. Shift this into positive gear, and begin seeing obstacles as opportunities for growth. Do this, and your self-confidence levels will hit the roof. You’ll no longer feel downtrodden and left behind. Instead, you’ll have the spark of life that allows you to achieve whatever you set your mind on.

15-Minute Morning Yoga Routine for Beginners

Is this usually how your morning begins? You hit snooze, roll over a few times, and groggily wake up and stumble your way to the coffee pot; or maybe you get woken up by kids, pets, or significant others who are running late and have now jolted you wide awake into a frenzied panic... It seems as though our morning routines are hardly as gentle as we'd like them to be. A part of that is natural - we have real lives to live, that often require practical solutions. We have families and jobs that demand our precise attention, and no matter how much we plan, there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for everyone and everything, let alone yoga time or physical exercise. In our effort to juggle all of the tasks a typical day throws at us, it's not surprising that our energy may be low and our attitude about heading into our day may not be enthusiastic. Fortunately, creating a morning routine doesn't have to push all of our other priorities out of the way, nor does it have to mean that we're sacrificing sleep time for waking up super early and getting in a morning yoga practice. Shifting our tasks around to find 15 minutes of free time can drastically improve not only our physical health, but how we take on the morning to seize the day ahead. In the following sections, we'll explore how to create a beginner's yoga routine that is flexible enough to accommodate any schedule and yoga physical ability.

1. Find a Space in Your Home for Morning Silence

This can also be a space in your office or hotel room, if you're traveling. Creating a morning routine doesn't have to anchor you to a house. It should be flexible and simple enough for you to take with you wherever you go. Starting your day off in silence can mean the difference between a day that is running you, or a day that you run yourself. It allows you to sit with your thoughts and feelings upon waking up, and decide which ones you want to take into your day, and which ones are not going to serve your tasks and goals. Find a space that is quiet enough, and where you can be alone. Turn off your phone or put it on silent if you know you're going to be disturbed or distracted. And when you're ready, sit comfortably - either on a yoga mat, bolster, or a chair. If you're sitting cross-legged on the floor, prop yourself up so that your hips are higher than your knees, to ensure that your spine is long and straight.((Yoga Journal: The Pose of Happiness and Ease: Sukhasana)) Close your eyes, rest your hands in your lap or on your knees, and tune into your breath, consciously. Notice how the inhale fills your belly and lungs, and rises up into your collarbones as you sip in as much air as you can; at the top of your inhale, gently pause. When you're ready, ease into that exhale and notice how the lungs let go and the belly pulls in. Your only job here is to notice this breath cycle, over and over again. If thoughts come in, as they naturally will, just acknowledge them. Say hello, and maybe even a "Good morning," and then let the thoughts go, and return to your breath. You can set a timer for 5 minutes, and just soak in this silence and breath awareness before anything else comes into your day. If an intention arises - a word or phrase that you think you'd like to take into your day ahead - say it gently to yourself and then open your eyes, when you're ready.((MindBodyGreen: The Power Behind Setting an Intention in Yoga ))

2. Do 2 Rounds of Surya Namaskar, Sun Salutations

Sun Salutations are repetitive in nature, as they allow us to not only feel our body in space and movement, but also to help us sync the movement with the breath. These postures in unison also help us energize the body and the energy, or prana, flowing through it.((DoYouYoga: What is Prana?)) You can continue your yoga practice in the same space in which you found your morning silence. If, however, you need to change spots, feel free to do so. Let's first take a quick look at how to do the Sun Salutations in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMV4Nq6jpu0   Unfurl your yoga mat, and step to the top, standing tall and proud with feet hip-width apart in Tadasana, Mountain Pose. Tuck your tailbone gently, as your belly slightly engages, and your chest opens. Bring your chin slightly down and back, to open up the back of the neck, and let your hands come down by your sides, with your palms open to the front of your space. Take a deep breath in and out, rooting your feet down, like tree roots.((Gaia: Tadasana: Mountain Pose)) On an inhale, reach your arms up overhead, gazing up if comfortable, and as you exhale, begin to hinge from the hips as you swan-dive down to a Forward Fold.((Yoga Basics: Standing Forward Fold)) Allow your neck and head to loosen as your upper body hangs here, and root your feet down into your mat to keep stable. On an inhale, hinging from the hips, rise up into a Flat Back,((Yoga Journal: Standing Half Forward Bend)) pulling your belly in toward your spine and keeping your neck long, as your hands rest on your thighs or hips; as you exhale, bring your palms down and step back into your first Plank.((Yoga Journal: Plank Pose)) Take a deep breath in as the core and glutes engage, and on your exhale, lower your knees and come all the way down to your belly, with your core still engaged and your elbows pulling to the midline of your body. Keeping your palms down and legs together, inhale to rise up into Cobra Pose,((Yoga Journal: Cobra Pose)) and as you exhale, lift up onto your hands and knees, and make your way into your first Downward Facing Dog.((Yoga Outlet: How to Do Downward Facing Dog in Yoga)) Down Dog is a great pose for lengthening and stretching out those waking-up hamstrings, so bicycle-pedal out your heels to get into this stretch a bit more. Keep your gaze between your feet or in the center of your mat, depending on what feels good for your neck. Stay here for 3 to 5 deep breaths. On your next exhale, begin to walk your feet up towards your hands, coming back into that Forward Fold that we did at the beginning of this sequence. Hang there with your head and neck heavy, and maybe take opposite elbows and sway here gently side to side. You can always bend your knees as deeply as you need to here, if your hamstrings are tight. Take a deep breath in, sending that energy to the back of your heart, between your shoulder blades, and on your exhale, like a rag doll, begin to curl your way up to standing. You may use your hands to walk them up your legs and back up to standing, but do keep your core engaged as you rise. Feel each vertebra, as they stack one on top of the other, re-building the spine as you go. Make your way back into Tadasana, Mountain Pose. Repeat this full sequence one more time, following your breath as you move.

3. Do Warrior 1 and Warrior 2 Standing Postures

Coming back into Tadasana, Mountain Pose, from your Sun Salutations, step back long onto your mat with your left foot, preparing for Warrior 1. Point the left toes to the upper-left corner of your mat, so that your foot is turned out, and bend into your right knee. Keep the bend at a 90-degree angle, or if you're nursing a knee injury, back away from the bend slightly. Make sure your hips are as squared as they can be to the front of the mat, and look down at your feet and imagine you're standing on railroad tracks. This will mean that your stance is wide, giving your hips enough space to rotate. Reach your arms up overhead, biceps by the ears, or bending your elbows and creating "goal-post" arms if you need some more shoulder space. Looking upwards is optional. Tuck your tailbone and engage your belly, as you find 3-5 breaths here.((Yoga Basics: Warrior 1)) Here's a video that demonstrates Warrior I Pose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4qaVoAbeHM On your next inhale, bring your palms to touch at heart center. As you exhale, come into your Warrior 2, by adjusting your back left foot to have the toes point out straight to the left, with the pinkie-foot side paralleling the back of your mat. This will ensure that your hips are now able to splay open to the left a bit more. Keep the bend in your right knee, and extend your arms long to the front and back of your mat, palms facing down. Rest your gaze over your front middle finger, or if better, look out towards the left with a bit more neutrality for your neck. Take a peek at your right big toe, and make sure you can see it. If not, gently nudge that right knee a bit more over to the right. Find 3-5 breaths here.((Yoga Journal: Warrior II Pose)) Here's a video that demonstrates Warrior II Pose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbIrd6onJwQ On your next exhale, cartwheel the arms down to the mat, as you step back to your Down Dog. Take a deep breath in, and on your exhale, walk your feet up toward your hands, and make your way back to Tadasana, Mountain Pose. Repeat this sequence on the other side, stepping back with your right foot.

4. Find Balance in Vrksasana, Tree Pose

Come back to standing in Tadasana, hands on your hips. Shift your weight to your standing left foot, as you begin to lift and bend the right knee. Square your hips, and root that left foot down into your mat, engaging the left glute muscle. With your breath, begin to open the right knee to the right side, giving that right hip space to expand; when you're ready, place the sole of your right foot on the inside of your calf or thigh. If you need extra support, place it against your ankle, with the right toe down for more stability. Leave your hands on your hips, or lift them up overhead to grow your branches. Rest your gaze and find your breath for 3-5 cycle.((Yoga Journal: Tree Pose)) Take a look at this video and try to do the Tree Pose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdln9qWYloU Repeat on the other side, lifting and bending the left knee.

5. Stretch with a Reverse Namaste

Come back to standing in Tadasana, this time, with your hands back behind you for either a Reverse Namaste((Style Craze: What is Reverse Prayer Yoga?)) or simply grabbing opposite elbows or forearms.

6. Open Your Heart in a Standing Back Bend

Stand tall with your tailbone tucked, and take a deep breath in, feeling the opening of your chest and shoulders. On your next exhale, lift up through your sternum and hips, as you lift the heart up and back towards the sky. Keep your gaze wherever is comfortable for your neck. If you are in a room, it's helpful to keep it where the wall meets the ceiling. It's more challenging to take deep breaths in this pose, so focus more on the exhales. For complete beginners, here's how to do a Standing Back Bend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl3OLAA1SZs This posture is beautiful in releasing what no longer serves us, so let that surrender happen through your exhales. When you're ready, keeping your core engaged, slowly make your way back to standing, with your head coming up last. Take a moment to center your balance, before moving on.

7. Prepare to Have a Seat and Come into Savasana

Slowly come down to have a seat, and roll down onto your back until you're laying flat. Grab a couple of yoga blocks or pillows, and bring the soles of your feet to touch, as the knees come out. Place the blocks or pillows under your knees, and rest your head and shoulders down on the mat. Close your eyes and rest your hands on your belly to feel the breath coming in and out. Close out your practice here in Savasana, and stay for as long as you'd like. Check out the demonstration in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPmbZxILf1Q

Final Thoughts

A morning yoga routine doesn't have to overwhelm your schedule or take too much time out of your morning. This sequence brings you back into tune with your breath and your body, and you can practice it anywhere for 15 minutes to energize and empower your day ahead.

More Yoga for Beginners

• How Practicing Morning Yoga Transforms Your Life (+10 Beginners’ Poses)
• Yoga Poses For Beginners To Achieve A Detoxed And Healthy Body In 7 Days
• 8 Amazing Benefits Of This 10-Minute Yoga Sequence
• No More Insomnia: 5 Yoga Poses for Better Sleep

How to Talk to Your Future Self to Change Your Life

When I was seventeen, I wrote a heartfelt letter to myself to open on my eighteenth birthday. I recapped the events that unfolded during the year; the relationships I have strengthened, the friendships that have fallen out, the things I have come to accept and then the struggle of letting things go. I wrote down the fears and excitement of starting university, and how I thought things would unfold in the year to come. I've carried this tradition every year since then. Some years the letters were five pages long; other times, they were three paragraphs. What doesn't change is the hope that ends in every letter. "I hope you have found what you were looking for." "I hope you crossed off things in your bucket list." "I hope this year was much better for you." The letters were always kind and loving, and it made me realize all the ways I didn't talk to myself the other days of the year. Most times, I was cruel, unkind, and hard on myself. We have daily conversations with ourselves, and it's about becoming aware of those conversations and how to talk to your future self to change your life.

1. Use Writing as a Tool

Writing is an underrated tool. There's a shift in power when you write things down, and also a way to purging your stream of consciousness. We accumulate so many thoughts from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep. Sometimes these thoughts turn into pent up frustrations or emotions that carry on to the next morning. Here are some ways to use writing as a tool as a way to carry healthy conversations with your future self:

Write Letters to Your Future Self

Writing a letter to your future self is a way to paint and imagine the life you want. You fill these letters with hopes, dreams, and goals that you want to achieve. In order to do this, you must first let go of any restrictions you are facing in the present and truly believe the sky is the limit. This is a chance to look at your future self and determine who that person is. The letter can be written to be opened in five years, a year, or even in a "case of emergency" – during those moments when you need a little reminder. Remember to be honest and don't hold back.

Write a Letter from Your Past-Self

I once asked myself, "What Would My Thirteen-Year-Old Self Say to Me Now?((Finding Fifth: What Would My 13-Year-Old Self Say To Me Now?))" It was a chance to switch perceptions go back to the moment I was most hopeful for my future. It was the moment when every dream was reachable and nothing in life was going to stop me from living my best life. Sometimes, we need to go back to that inner child and look at the world from rose colored lenses. The older we become, the easier we let our own reality dictate your dreams and even take the steering wheel. Write a letter to yourself from that inner child that still exists within you – that child who don't want you to give up.

Write a List of Books and Authors You like Now

Keep a list of all your favorite passages from books and words of wisdom from your go-to authors. There's a reason why we are drawn to certain texts, books, and worlds found between the pages. Let this list unleash your creativity and stir different emotions from within. Need some inspiration? Here is a list of 10 Best Inspirational Books That Can Change Your Life.

2. Find These 3 Types of People

A wise man had once told me to always have these 3 types of people in my life – a mentor, a colleague, and a mentee.

Find a Mentor

Having a great mentor can impact your life and your future self in unimaginable ways. But before you start your journey to finding a mentor, you must first get clear on what your goals are and what a good mentor looks like. It doesn't only come down to the chemistry of the relationship, but also sharing personal values and finding someone willing to teach and offer you advice. Find someone who is living the lifestyle you want and have accomplished the goals you want to achieve.

Find a Colleague

In addition to a mentor, you must have someone who is walking alongside with you on your journey; this person can be someone you can relate to, someone who is facing the same difficulties, or someone who shares a similar vision. Where would Harry Potter be without his friends Hermione and Ron? Would high school have been bareable if Cory Matthews didn't have Shawn or Topanga? Life isn't meant to go about alone but in the company of others. Find a partner or a group who will push you and help you navigate the triumphs and trials of your journey.

Find a Mentee

Learning is a two-way street, and there is always an opportunity to learn from others – even from those who may be much younger or less experienced. Having a mentee is just as important as having a mentor and a colleague. What is the point of carrying all the information in the world if there is no one to pass the knowledge to? By becoming a mentor yourself, you have the opportunity to see certain situations or circumstances from a different perspective. You learn to be compassionate by listening and supporting, all which can help you change the way you speak to your future self.

3. Role Play

Switch to a different role you play and you may perceive things differently.

Ask Yourself: What Would Your Future Self Do?

Our actions today matter and affect how we will be tomorrow and the day after. Ask yourself what your future self would do on a typical Tuesday? Here are some promoting questions:

• What did you have for breakfast this morning?
• Where are you working, and how do you feel about it?
• What book did you finish reading?
• What shampoo and conditioner are you using?

The little things like visualizing a shampoo brand or a book can help you paint a clearer picture while adding in a bit of character. By doing this, this visualization for yourself starts to feel more real.

Role Play as Your Archetype

If you haven't yet taken the 16 Personalities test, now may be a great time to. The test is composed of several questions that determine your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Once the test is completed it will show you which of the 16 archetypes you may be based on your answers – Extrovert/Introvert, Sensors/Intuitives, Thinkers/Feelers, Judgers/Perceivers. For example, I am an ENFP, also known as the Campaigner. I also share the same archetype as Robert Downey Jr. and Will Smith – two actors I admire for their quick wit and vibrant energy. One way to talk to your future self is looking deeper into your archetype and see if these qualities resonate with you. Then ask yourself, how you are currently portraying this archetype and what qualities do you admire in those who also share your archetype.

The Bottom Line

The way you speak to yourself now is so vital to who you become in the future. As our own being, we play different roles – we have to be our own cheerleader when we hit certain walls, we have to play our own parent to take care of our physical and emotional well-being, and we even play the role as our own lover as we learn to love ourselves completely. As we switch from role to role, it may get taxing and our conversations may turn negative. Sometimes those negative and harsh conversations never leave. By finding a mentor to have as guidance, visualizing the ideal version of the future you, and even writing letters from different perspectives are all ways you can learn to change the current conversations you carry with yourself.

More About Living Your Best Life

• How to Live a Meaningful Life: 10 Inspiring Ideas to Find Meaning
• How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life
• What Is Self Awareness (And How to Increase Yours to Succeed in Life)
• Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?

How to Make a Decision: The Secret to Making the Right Decision Fast

When you are chasing goals to lead a more fulfilling, greater quality of life, personal growth is inevitable. Growth often means you need to change and acquire new skills as you charter new and unfamiliar territory. It can also require you to make choices and decisions you feel ill-equipped to navigate. Some of these you might possess sound judgment to make. Others can scare the living daylights out of you. At many times, you can feel damned regardless of which pathway you choose to take. It may seem a strange notion to grasp but you can actually make the right decision in any pivotal moment your heart is wrenched with pressure to choose the best pathway when you’re at a crossroads. When you become familiar with what your decision-making process is and develop a strong foundation from which you make each decision from, you’ll be well on track to make the right choice every time. Here're 5 essential principles on how to make a decision:

1. Understand the Role Emotions Play in All Your Decision-Making

Many studies have shown the role our brain plays in decision-making.((Neuropsychologia.: The amygdala and decision making)) Our amygdala serves as an instinctual guiding light to help us learn what is good for us (i.e. keeps us safe, happy and secure) and what is not (i.e. any stimulus which poses threat to our safety and wellbeing). We attach a different emotional value to stimuli – people, places, events and objects - depending on what we’re taught prior to experiencing them and through experiencing them ourselves. With each stimulus having a different value, we learn how to make sense of and navigate our worlds. Our amygdala plays a huge role in how we, therefore, make decisions. Have you come across people who tell you they always make decisions purely based on facts, figures and evidence? Do they tell you they don’t let their emotions get in the way? What is most likely occurring is they feel safe when they see certain figures and enough of them. Dubbed as the single most common concern that keeps people awake at night with worry, money is a particularly emotional subject that repeatedly requires us to consciously make the right decision. Even though you calculate your expenses can still be comfortably paid and you can afford that vacation you’ve been itching to take for the last three years, you still hesitate to book your flights. Despite the numbers on your budget spreadsheet more than stack up in your favor, you strongly resist. Somewhere in your memory network of lessons around money and finances, there will be different levels of emotional comfort you have with all the varying aspects of earning, managing, having and not having money. As a result, you will have developed attitudes which shape your decisions as to what you do or don’t do with it. And that’s just considering your emotional attachments around money! When you hit a crossroads, take note of what emotions and feelings arise for you. Pay attention to these as you consider the different choices available to you. Just because you might be experiencing fear and/or anxiety….a resistance, this does not mean you may be making the wrong decision. Your emotions are just looking out for you and warning you. As long as you can recognize how and why your emotions – positive and negative - are serving you and you make a conscious decision about how you want to go forward, you can ensure you will be making the right decision.

2. Bring to Consciousness the Underlying Expectations You Have When Making Decisions

We might think we’re making decisions which are purely our own, but we aren’t. Peer-pressure is also not what we’re talking about here. We need to learn to identify whether or not we are making choices that subconsciously satisfy a cultural or societal norm and seeing if we can separate ourselves from this when we make our decision. Psychological researchers Luke Chang and Alan Sanfey conducted a study showing how pre-conceived social expectations influenced the decision-making of participants who were on the receiving end of a bargaining exercise.((Luke Chang and Alan Sanfey: Great expectations: neural computations underlying the use of social norms in decision-making)) Participants were presented with offers from proposers of different splits of $10 being divided between them. The participant might be offered to receive $3 whilst the proposer kept $7. Other splits of the $10 were also offered by proposers. How participants believed proposers would make their offers, influenced whether or not they accepted or rejected offers they were given. Where participants received offers they did not expect, they rejected them. Simply put, we hold (often subconsciously) pre-conceived expectations about how we expect potential outcomes – good and bad - to unfold. Consider trying this exercise. Walk down the street and offer someone a $10 bill. Don’t offer any explanation as to why you are giving them the cash apart from that you simply wish to give it to them. Chances are you are going to be met with doubt, resistance and curiosity. Some people you approach might even ask you: “What’s the catch?” You might be surprised people decline taking it from you, think you’re crazy and walk away or even ignore you! Receiving and giving money for nothing is generally unheard of. Where’s the exchange? So we hesitate. We question it. Would you accept someone randomly giving you $10? What pre-conceived, unconscious expectations might be at play? The expectations we attach are fashioned from social experiences and lessons we’ve been exposed to that are most relevant to circumstances we find ourselves in. These expectations can work in our favor but can also work against us. We can be presented with difficult decisions where we have no previous reference to help us make a choice. The key is to try isolating your context for what it is and making the decision purely based on whether or not it serves you, or not.

3. Make Decisions That Satisfy Your Values, Principles and Priorities for the Long-Term

When you do this, you will always feel your decision is right. Even when consequences turn pear-shaped, you will find you’re still able to face yourself in the mirror and feel your conscience is clear. Your choices could cause turbulence in your relationships. You might feel uneasy for some time but eventually, you will be able to sleep at night. The choice you made honored what you believe to be right, just and ethical. You’re staying true to your inner compass. In addition to paying attention to emotions that arise within you when you need to make a decision, ask yourself the following questions:

• What do I believe to be true, right and ethical that needs to be honored here?
• What unanswered question does making a choice to go this particular way, answer for me?
• What principles, beliefs or priorities is this satisfying (or not satisfying) for me?

Many of us hit roadblocks trying to discover what our purpose is in life. We struggle to get bearings on what our career vocation is or should be. If you go back to thinking about what’s important for you to be able to repeatedly experience, receive and give of yourself, you’re pretty close to being on track to making the right decision every time. If you’re not sure what your highest values and priorities are, look at what you spend the majority of your time:

• Thinking about
• Spending your money on
• Researching and learning about
• Making time for instead of doing other things

The more you review this, the greater clarity you’ll gain. Where and what you spend the majority of your time, energy and most of your waking hours doing is going to clearly indicate what’s important to you. Those things will be important to you because you get to feel good as a result of dedicating your energy toward them. Beware of getting caught up in the transient recommendation of simply doing what makes you ‘feel good now’. If your bigger picture goal is to self-fund back-packing around the world for six months or to buy your first property, regularly splurging on items which reap no return on investment that you don’t even need is not going to help. It’s interesting how that pair of shoes or handbag in the display window are almost smiling at you when you’re feeling confused. Long-term goals can require us to make choices which bring short-term discomfort. Expect this. However, long-term goals when achieved, bring far greater gains on many more levels.

4. Never Make Decisions in an Unbalanced Physical, Emotional or Mental State

Looking to never make judgments or decisions when you are emotionally, mentally and physically depleted where you can help it, goes without saying. You lack the capacity to consider all possibilities, recognize if you have any biases and risk being emotionally skewed to only see certain parts of the equation depending on your mood state. However, you also need to be aware of shiny, attractive opportunities which appear to be to your direct benefit, but deceptively may not. Let’s say you’re highly motivated to develop a property portfolio. You’ve always believed developing one will financially secure you and your family’s future. You decide to attend a free property conference weekend being held in your closest capital city. The speaker line-up looks mighty impressive on the landing page. The topics they’re speaking about sound EXACTLY like what you need to know. Attending the conference, you find the information invaluable. You ask yourself why you didn’t do this sooner! The speakers are warm, friendly and highly personable. You feel honored to receive their individual attention to answer your questions. They also have a $6,000 program to teach you certain aspects about developing your portfolio and there’s a free gift valued at $500 for only the first 15 buyers of the program. Gosh! It’s too good to miss! What do you do? Do not touch your credit card! There are always going to be events and opportunities like this where clever psychological tactics are heavily in play to position people to buy. You’ve been psychologically primed over a few hours at least to say yes to everything you’re being taught and are hearing. You might not believe it but you will have been emotionally softened to make the golden purchase. You feel wonderful, positive and so excited about all the possibilities. What you don’t realize is that you could be in danger of dropping $6,000 on a lemon or a completely unsuitable program. What’s involved that you’re not being told? What are the downfalls? What are the odds of success? You’re positioned only to focus euphorically on the glass being at least half full. Auctions, sales, apparently lucrative salary packages and job advertisements…all these paint a bright shiny picture of improving your circumstances. To make sure you make the right decision, wait. Where you can, wait and wait some more. Then, ask yourself if you still feel the same. Ask yourself again: “Is this right for me?” If it is, then give yourself the green light. The same goes for the argument you have recently had with your boss or the new person you’ve just started dating. Don’t quit your job or whimsically dump him/her at the first uncomfortable instance. Cool your jets. Let the storm settle. Orchestrate yourself a place you can recalibrate away from any influencing variables or people. Consult a mentor with no bias or personal agenda. Only when you’re back in a balanced state of mind and energy stores can you see all aspects and ensure you make the right decision.

5. Ask the Questions No One Is Asking

Seek perspectives outside your own. When all facts of the case seem beamingly positive, ask to be shown the (potential) downfalls. Ask the questions to call-out the elephant in the room no one wants to acknowledge or address. Proactively defy the dangers of group think((Business Dictionary: Group think)) mentality and equip yourself more thoroughly with fuller insight and confidence to capitalize on making the right decision.

The Bottom Line

There will be times where time is not on your side. Remember to stay true to your values, ethics and beliefs. Keep in sight your long-term goals and aspirations and proactively look to engage perspectives wider than your own. When you can create pauses and find space to make your choices in a balanced emotional and mental state, you can make decisions fast. When you decide, always remember that you chose with all the resources you had available in the actual moment you made it. When you remember this, the decision you make will always be the right one.

More About Decisions Making

• 5 Tips for Lightning-Fast Decision Making
• How to Make Decisions Under Pressure
• OODA Loop: Making Quick Decisions Like a Fighter Pilot
• 7 Ways to Make Life Changing Decisions

20 Critical Skills to Include on Your Resume (For All Types of Jobs)

A resume describes your critical skills in a way that compels a hiring manager to want to meet you. That is a resume’s sole purpose. And make no mistake: Writing a resume is an art. Today each corporate job opening attracts 250 resumes on average, and somehow yours will need to rise above the competition. It’s actually harder to snag an interview from an online posting than to get into Harvard. But don’t let that intimidate you. Instead, open your laptop, roll up your proverbial sleeves, and let’s get to work!

Killer Tips for Writing a Resume

Before introducing the 20 critical skills to include on your resume, here're some important notes for you:

You only have 6 to 7 seconds.

Hiring managers and artificial intelligence “bots” may spend only 6 to 7 seconds perusing your resume, which means you need it to teem with essential skills, quantifiable achievements, and action words. If, in fact, you believe that a “bot” will be analyzing your resume before it even lands on a hiring manager’s desk, be sure to include some of the actual key words from the posting in your document. There’s no reason why you can’t customize your resume to each job posting. Another tip: Be sure to show your resume to a few individuals who work in your field, so that you can fine-tune the information as needed.

Starting at the top.

The Objective at the top of your resume is optional if you’re seeking the same job you already have, just at different company. However, if you’re switching fields, it’s critical to include an Objective, which is a one-sentence summary of the job you want. For example: Objective: To become web editor at a thriving news website. If you’ve been in your field for ten years or more, you will probably want to include an Executive Summary. This is a one-sentence takeaway about who you are, including the critical skills you amassed throughout your career. For example: Executive Summary: Award-winning creative director with over ten years experience managing teams on three continents. Depending on your field, you may also want to add some skills as bullet points in the Executive Summary section. And what about your Education? If you graduated from college within the past ten years, include your Education just below the Objective section (and forgo the Executive Summary). If it’s been over ten years since you graduated, then include your Education at the very end of your resume. Only cite your grade point average (G.P.A.) if it was exceptional—3.7 G.P.A. or higher, or if you won scholastic awards. Ideally, the critical skills you amassed during college, at your previous job, and throughout your career will add up to a riveting portrait of a professional who’s ideally suited for your dream position: You.

Tailor, tweak, and fine-tune.

If you’re targeting different kinds of organizations, you’ll need customized resumes for each outreach. Don’t be afraid to parrot some of the words on the list of requirements back to the company. Many times, organizations will actually use the key words mentioned in the job posting when screening resumes.

Approach your resume as a skills-based story.

Like any good storyteller, lay out the framework at the beginning. Include the skills you’ve mastered and state how you can add value—wording your sentences in a way that reflects the specific job you’re seeking. Are you vying for a sales position? Quantify your results: “Responsible for 50 percent of all sales that resulted in $750,000 in annual revenue.” Use your critical skills, peppered throughout your resume, to tell the exciting story of your distinguished professional career! Researching the organization that you’re targeting will help you make your examples specific. Does the company cater to a particular audience or clientele? Be sure to note any experiences you’ve had with similar audiences.

20 Critical Skills to Include on Your Resume

Now you're set, and here're 20 critical skills to include on your resume.

Demonstrating That You're a Dynamic Candidate

Employers generally prefer candidates with skills that show leadership ability, problem-solving ability, and perseverance through challenges. Refine the skills on your resume so that you incorporate these resume “musts:”

1. Describe Leadership Ability

Even an entry-level employee can show leadership. Point out how your skills helped your department ascend to a new level. Capture leadership attributes with compelling statements.

Example:

“Led change that drove efficiency and an ability to cut 800 error-free payroll checks.”

2. Demonstrate Problem-Solving Ability

Most employees are hired to solve problems. Showcase that ability on your resume.

Example:

“Led staff in campaign to outrival top competitor’s market share during a down cycle.”

3. Show Perseverance

Have you been promoted several times? Or have you maintained margins in a down cycle? Both achievements demonstrate persistence. You look like someone who can navigate roadblocks.

4. Tout Technical Skills

Consider including a Key Skills or Technology Skills section in which you list computer and software skills.

Example:

“Expert-level knowledge in Java.”

5. Quantify Results

Nothing is quite as attractive as objective results. Did you increase sales by 25 percent? Win three new clients? Surpass the internal goal by 15 percent? Use hard-hitting numbers to express your point. State the result first, and then provide a sentence or phrase describing the critical skills you applied to achieve the milestone.

Example:

“Boosted sales by 200 percent by developing new online platform that made it easier for customers to compare and contrast sizes, textures, and fit.”

6. Promote Your People Skills

Employers prefer congenial staff members to prima donnas or mavericks. Relate your strongest soft skills.

Example:

“Organized, hard-working staffer who listens well and communicates effectively.”

7. Show Passion

Recruiters and hiring managers can intuit whether candidates care about their career performance by the dynamism behind the descriptions of their skills on their resumes. Are your efforts “transformational” or merely “useful?” Were your results “game-changing” or boringly “appropriate?” The tenor of your words reveals whether you’re passionate or passive. (But don’t overdo it. See the “Hyperbole” section below.)

8. Be the Entrepreneur within the Corporation

Whether you took the initiative to create a new synergy or worked independently to land an opportunity, share how you furthered organizational goals through your self-directed efforts.

9. Point to Your Adaptability

Have you switched career paths? Weathered a corporate takeover? Make it clear that your resilience helped get you and your organization through the turbulence.

10. Confirm Your Expertise

Every job posting states experience requirements. Ideally, you want to meet these requirements or best them. But don’t exaggerate.

Showcasing Your Personality

While proving that you possess the credentials described in the job posting, you can still stand out if you are able to offer additional special skills. Consider adding any of these special accomplishments, if true:

11. Reference Award-Winning Talents

If you played center on your college basketball team that made it into the Top 10 finals, then working collaboratively and cooperatively are among your natural callings. Be sure to say so.

12. Unveil Your Work Persona

If you were repeatedly singled out for your stellar performance in work settings, becoming employee-of-the-month, top revenue generator, and so on — it’s worth mentioning.

13. Capitalize on Commonalities

From Googling the hiring manager, you discover that she was formerly a Peace Corps volunteer in Belize. Listing your Spanish immersion course in Central America may draw her attention to the other outstanding skills on your resume.

14. Highlight Creative Tactics

If, for example, in your HR role, you piloted an employee incentive program that became an industry model, include it. Such innovative thinking will command an employer’s attention.

15. Specify All Accolades

Listing any honors received instills confidence that you will bring that level of perfectionism forward in a corporate environment.

16. Cite Transferable Skills

You spend your spare time conducting your community orchestra. Highlight this after-hours pursuit to show that you have the critical skills needed to keep a team on task.

Showing Your Credibility

Take note: Hyperbole can hurt you. Although it may be tempting to use embellishments to boost your experience, improve your job title, or enhance your education, resist. These days, a five-minute search will reveal the truth. And taking self-inflation too far could easily come back to destroy your career. Hiring managers have their antenna up for resume hyperbole. A survey shows that 53 percent are suspicious that candidates are often dishonest. Follow these guiding principles when writing your own resume:

17. Accurately Describe Your Degree

Make sure to differentiate between certificates attained and degrees earned, along with the name of the institution awarding them.

18. State Job Duration with Honest Dates

Honesty is the only policy when reporting the length of a particular job. If you’ve been out of work for an extended period of time, state the reason you have gaps. Whether you traveled, had to cope with a family emergency, or went back to school to change your professional track, communicate the positive outcome that came from the hiatus.

19. Claim Only the Skills You Truly Possess

Unless you’re proficient in a software program or are fluent in a second language, leave any mention of them off. Conversely, if you feel like you must include them, then accurately qualify your level of competence.

20. Be Honest About Your Role in a Project

You may think you were the lead person because you did most of the work, but chances are your supervisor thinks otherwise.

Putting It All Together

A resume is not a laundry list. It tells a cohesive story. Your story should highlight your qualifications and critical skills in a way that makes a logical, well-constructed case for your compatibility with the organization and its advertised position. Packaging your story into the concisely prescribed format of a resume means that it will read as a synopsis — one that will hopefully land you the job.

More About Work Skills

• The Ultimate Work Skills List to Help You Change Careers
• 17 Versatile Work Skills That Will Gain You More Career Opportunities
• 10 Practical Ways to Drastically Improve Your Time Management Skills
• 17 Work Related Skills to Equip Yourself with for a Successful Career
• 10 Essential Soft Skills That Will Help Advance Your Career
• How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

The Real Reason Why You Hate Working (And How to Turn It Around)

Have you ever asked yourself, why do I hate working? Is it the people, what I do, or is it something else entirely? Studies show that people are becoming less happy with their jobs and personal life. According to the General Social Survey,((Los Angeles Times: Americans are becoming less happy, and there’s research to prove it))

On a scale of 1 to 3, where 1 represents "not too happy" and 3 means "very happy," Americans on average give themselves a 2.18 — just a hair above "pretty happy."

While that may not sound bad to some, it is considered a significant decline from the happiness levels of the early 1990's. When you dive into the numbers further, spending time on the internet, listening to music alone, and using social media are all activities correlated with unhappiness. Interesting enough, these are all activities found on your computer or cell phone. Another interesting point is the fact that these activities are all things that most people perform while working. Here're 3 questions to help you reflect why you hate your job and what you can do to turn things around:

1. Are You Focusing on the Negative Only?

I can say for me personally, the podcasts I listened to would cause me to hate working. As I listened to other entrepreneurs talking about their journey and the success they found, I started to question my own commitment. Was I interested in living my dream life or did I just want to talk about it? The same can hold true for someone surfing social media or listening to music to pass the time. As you experience the successes and emotions of others, you immediately start comparing that to the life you are living. When you see someone taking a vacation, purchasing a new vehicle or growing their family, you start to feel inadequate. What you may have noticed is these activities usually cause you to focus on what you do not like about your job. In my case, I did not like the fact that it was keeping me from starting my own business. For you, it may be the same, or it could be something completely different. However, if you want to start loving your work again, you are going to need to focus on the things you love. By focusing on the positive, you allow yourself to remember why you took the job in the first place. If the pay was 10% higher than the pay at your previous job, then that is something you should remind yourself when you face difficult situations. If you took the job because of the proximity to your home or the work-life balance, then focus on that aspect of your career. By continually reminding yourself about what you dislike about your job, you are only going to further hate working. When you focus on the negative, you may ask yourself:

• why do I stay in this job
• why is my career stagnant
• why do the worst people keep getting promoted
• do I really need to deal with this nonsense

The answer is usually because you feel stuck in some way. As much as you hate working, you hate the idea of not working even more. Fear of failure is something each of us encounter. However, avoiding failure is almost always going to lead to regret.

2. Are You Staying with an Indifferent Employer?

Who you work for and the culture they help create plays a decisive role into whether you enjoy or hate working. Studies show that 92% of employees are more likely to stay with an empathetic employer.((Businesssovler: 2019 State of Workplace Empathy)) Now think about this for a moment, 92% of people do not enjoy their jobs. 92% of people are not satisfied with their career advancement or salary, but they are more willing to stay at their job anyways. Empathy is nothing more than someone’s ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Nevertheless, the reason that empathy is so vital to whether you hate working is because everyone wants to feel accepted and appreciated. When you tell your supervisor your dreams and ambitions, it is nice to have someone who wants to help you achieve them. Even if they are not always successful in their endeavors, it is nice to know they care. A recent Gallup survey said that 37% of employees would consider quitting their current job if their new job allowed them to work remotely part-time.((Gallup: Well-Being Enhances Benefits of Employee Engagement )) There are plenty of reasons working from home is enticing to so many professionals. If you have a family, then working from home could allow the flexibility to attend to families matters in a more effective way. If you live in a city with a lot of traffic, then working from home could help you to avoid sitting in rush-hour every morning and evening. Wouldn't you hate work less if you weren't stuck in rush-hour traffic everyday? Empathy helps employees feel valued. When you express concerns or difficulties and someone is interested in helping you to alleviate that pain, it feels good. Once more, the end result is not always as important as just knowing that someone cared enough to ask you how you are doing. Feeling valued in your work is a sure way you can ensure someone enjoys their work, even though they may be dealing with the same office politics in other aspects. If you find yourself in a work situation where empathy is lacking, then I encourage you to start volunteering and helping others. Helping others is a great way to prevent you from hating work because it forces you to focus on the needs of others. And if you volunteer through initiatives that take place in your office, then you will be able to connect with coworkers. These relationships could add a dimension to your work life that helps you to enjoy your working. If your company does not have any volunteer opportunities, then this could be a great occasion for you to start one. In addition to you getting to spearhead a project that you are passionate about, this is a great chance for you to showcase your leadership abilities to the company. As you build relationship through these opportunities, you will be able to position yourself for new openings within the organization.

3. Are You Not Doing What You Truly Love?

The equation to go from, "I hate working" to "I love working" is based on doing more things you love and less things you hate. Finding what you love is not an easy task. You have likely left your first love back in your adolescent days. Once you became an adult, you figured all your decisions should be based on being a responsible adult. While this sounds good for a lot of people, this is ultimately what causes so many people to hate working. They are doing what they think everyone else is doing, and in a way they are. The problem is they are getting the results that everyone else is getting. If you want to change your results, then take a moment and think about your dream job. Write down as many things as you can about what makes this your dream job. This can be anything from the location, salary, responsibilities or industry. Next, take a few moments and list anything your current role has in common with your dream job. While it may not seem possible, you are going to find that your current job does have some things in common with your dream job. Once you list the commonalities, see if there are any opportunities to do more things you love in your current position. This can include anything from shadowing other groups, changing departments, or just shifting your focus in your current role. If your job is 60% client interactions and 40% administrative work, but you do not enjoy interacting with clients - see if you can adjust your schedule so that is 60% administrative work and 40% client facing. It is important to speak with your supervisor about your dream job and see if they can assist you in making your dream a reality. If you discover you are not qualified for some of the responsibilities you want to take on, then work with your supervisor to create a plan that closes the gap. If you feel your supervisor is not necessarily the best person to help you grow your skill-sets, then reach out to someone in your network. This could be a coworker or a friend from a previous employer.

Final Thoughts

The goal is to grow your current job into your dream job so you can enjoy working again. While this may not be accomplished overnight, by committing to making these small changes in your mindset and action, you will find yourself turning hate back into love and contentment.

More About Fulfillments in Career

• Signs You Need a Career Change (And How to Change for Success)
• What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Want a Successful Career
• 10 Reasons Why Following Your Passion Is More Important Than Money
• Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?

How to Practice Self Forgiveness and Move on with Joy

Self-forgiveness is about learning how to forgive yourself for mistakes you made or choices you made, at great costs. Often we wonder, how it is possible we messed up so much, how did we come to this? Things may not always add up. Our actions do not always reflect us. The actions of other people do not always reflect them either, or sometimes they do. We find it easier though to forgive others, than to forgive ourselves. The scrutiny we place upon ourselves can be unrelenting.

“To heal, you have to get to the root of the wound and kiss it all the way up” -- Rupi Kaur

Why Is Self-Forgiveness Important?

According to Kendra Cherry, MS, Author and Educational Consultant, with statements reviewed by Steven Gans, MD, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, forgiveness can reduce stress, which in turn increases immunity, eases mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and increases physical health due to a reduction in anger and an increase in heart health.((Very Well Mind: How to Forgive Yourself)) So, as well as aiding in such widespread issues as anxiety and depression, when we practice self-forgiveness, our overall health increases. If we do not find the key to forgiveness, for ourselves and others, we continue to worry and punish ourselves into a mess. There are seasons of our life where we can certainly use painful lessons for good, and to learn from. But when it comes to how we treat ourselves, until then, we hurt. We simply hurt ourselves. It doesn’t have to be in any big way. It can be in the way that we don’t let go of a mistake. It may not have even been an unconscious mistake. We may have known why we did what we did, and made a decision to do it anyway, and that makes it harder. Self-forgiveness can have many benefits, while self-loathing is not productive at all. The first question to ask yourself is, “Why did I do wrong?” Making a mistake, making a blunder, has nothing to do with who you are or who you have the potential to become. It is not a reflection of your self-worth. We are all human; we all make mistakes. We all do things for different reasons; the key is finding your reason. When you discover your why, you will unlock your truth. You will know how you got to this point and make the important decision to decide for yourself whether or not to go down that path again.

Meaning In the Mess

Sometimes, we break down and reveal more vulnerability to the people we love when we acknowledge our own mess. This can lead to greater revelations about ourselves and our life. When we acknowledge that we are not perfect, others can relate to us and find greater strength too. In simply saying, “I’m sorry,” doors of accountability open and refuge can be found in relating our struggle to our strength. “I’m sorry, but I can try to make this up to you,” is also great for a new start. It doesn’t mean everything will be perfect. But it does mean you can start to salvage the situation. Finding meaning out of the mess means that you’re done pretending, to yourself and others, that everything is perfect. It means that you will stand up for yourself, for others, and what you believe in. It means that you will start to heal. The end goal? To finally be able to let go. Letting go means to forgive yourself for what you didn’t know and what you thought you had to do (or not do). It means to forgive yourself for your shortcomings and your mistakes. But that doesn’t mean excusing yourself from accountability. Identifying a mistake, deciding not to repeat it, and owning the damage you caused is part of the journey. Don’t keep beating yourself up over it. It’s a hard balance to find at times, but it’s worth it to be able to reap the health benefits, and move on with your life. YOU are worth it. Sometimes, self-forgiveness is about finding joy in life instead of sorrow. Once you let go, you learn to live. Remorse does account for some sorrow, but it does not mean you live in sorrow and regret for the rest of your life. Maybe you didn’t have to forgive yourself for doing something wrong. Maybe you had to forgive yourself for doing something right. Maybe it was because you knew it would come with a cost. But you were willing to pay it to do that right thing (or maybe simply not do that wrong thing).

How to Practice Self Forgiveness and Move on with Joy

So how do we get there? How do we get to self-forgiveness? Try compassion.

Self-Compassion -- A Prerequisite for Self-Forgiveness

Self-Compassion is learning to put empathy in your self-talk; the words you say to yourself, about yourself. It’s part of developing Self-Love, a prerequisite for almost anything. Megan Hale, therapist and life coach, puts it this way: ((Mind Body Green: 10 Ways to Forgive Yourself and Let Go of The Past))

“If we can learn to think of ourselves as our best friend, to speak to ourselves with love and kindness, and put ourselves as a priority, it reaffirms that we believe we are worth it.”

You only need to talk to yourself more kindly, with empathy and compassion. We are often nicer to others than we are to ourselves. If your self-talk is beating you up over something, ask yourself, “What would I think about this, say to someone else, if they found themselves in this same situation?” Practice the same compassion on yourself, that you practice on others. The shame you feel is part of your healing. It brings awareness to what needs to be done better in the future, or helps you accept outcomes when you make hard decisions. But you don’t have to live in shame or fear in order to make powerful changes; and in fact, you can’t.

Leaving Guilt Behind

Rather than helping us to make a situation right, or improve ourselves, guilt breaks our spirits. For a moment, it may help to feel guilt after some self-reflection, but ultimately, you are human and in need of compassion. Guilt is an okay place to visit, to help us identify changes we need to make, but it is not a good place to stay. Guilt may make you feel like you are not enough, or worthy of forgiveness or love. But it prevents you from moving on with your life, and becoming the best person you can be. When you choose love, you need to choose love for yourself too. You need to consider yourself worthy even when you’re broken, especially when you’re broken, because everyone is worthy of love, and you are too. Don’t let guilt smother your goodness. Don’t let guilt eat your energy and enthusiasm for life. Don’t let guilt destroy your joy. Let go.

Give Back

Use your scars as reasons and reminders to do more good, even if you can’t make everything right. Let them be the lessons you hold onto as you move forward. You can self-forgive and help others at the same time. It’s not just about charity. It’s about choices. You can make better choices when you’ve had time to reflect on your own situation. Shine a light on those in need. Volunteer where help is needed. Walk with someone who feels like they are alone. Listen to another human being’s troubles. You’ll find yourself helping them to do what you also are trying to do: Self-forgive. You’ll find that in helping someone else through an uncomfortable or bad situation, you’ll find your way through yours too. It’s a funny fact that we often give to others in the ways we should give to ourselves. We give the mercy, the love, the attention, the comfort, the compassion to others upon listening to their faults and failures, more than we would ever give to ourselves. So we know what to do, and how to do it, we just have to apply the same kind of kindness and mercy we apply to others, to ourselves. To get back your own life, give back to others. It’s almost as though we find the path for ourselves, by showing it to others. You’ll find it makes everything easier.

Open Up

To bring yourself some peace, share your vulnerabilities with others. Share the flaws and insights from your story that actually make your story significant. Like something from an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting where one says to the rest of the people there, “My name is____ and I’m an alcoholic.” In your own case, you fill in the blanks. What do you really want people to know about you? This will help them understand you and it will help you to understand yourself. And with that understanding, you learn to release your inner demons and realize your inner strengths. You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops. Instead, have a few people in your life know what is going on and how you feel. Opening up takes courage and strength, and while it may not fix everything, accountability reveals it is a start. Others can also point out to us the flaws in our thinking. Maybe the self-blame was necessary, maybe it was not, but either way we cannot continue to live productively there. According to Beverly Engel, psychotherapist,((Psychology Today: Healing Your Shame and Guilt Through Self-Forgiveness))

“You can resolve your behavior and forgive yourself at the same time.”

This means that you can change your actions, your state of being, your handling of others and more, while practicing self-forgiveness. This is huge! It means you can be accountable and still move forward. In moving forward, you will find that others may not always move with you. They may not be ready to, but as you continue to make amends, you can choose a better way to be. You can even, dare I say, choose joy.

Final Thoughts — Just Joy

Moving onward requires strength, as does all things, but it is worth it not to wallow in one’s pain. You can move on with joy by looking within and realizing you are still worth it. At the end of this, you’ll still have moments of darkness and doubt, but the more you let yourself love yourself, you will find yourself in moments of joy. You will catch yourself laughing. You will catch yourself allowing the light to touch your wounds. The light of love. You will find peace in surrendering. You will find that love, even in the loss. You find yourself in self-forgiveness when you realize you are human, and that in itself makes you whole, makes you more than your deeds or actions, makes you enough.

More About Forgiveness & Happiness

• How to Forgive and Live a Happy Life Again (A Step-By-Step Guide)
• Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?
• How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Now
• When You Start to Let Go of Your Past, These 10 Things Will Happen