Friday, 29 November 2019

Why Your Relationship Has Become Boring (And How to Fix It)

Esther Perel says that we need two things in relationships: stability -- knowing your partner has your back, and desire. Unfortunately, stability kills desire. Conversely, what creates desire? Risk. In the beginning of a relationship, we have plenty of risk. What if you get your heart broken, what if the other person doesn't like you as much as you like them? Is this the one? Are you wasting your time? There is the thrill of the chase in the beginning stages of romance. It’s exciting and creates the butterflies, the intoxicating feeling of love. Love conquers all. This new love high usually lasts 1to 2 years and then we settle in and become comfortable in the stability of the relationship. While the stability is important and imperative to the success of a relationship, it’s not very exciting. We have a home to take care of and bills to pay. This isn’t the sexy side of being in relationship. We may not always agree on things which can cause additional stress and strain on the relationship too.

Is It Normal to Be Bored in a Relationship?

It’s completely normal to become bored at some point in your relationship and it’s not your fault. We work hard to find the one. The person who completes us, then what? We live happily ever after in a blissful state of union of course. This is what we’ve learned from fairytales and Hollywood. Most of us were never taught how to maintain a relationship nor did we have great role models to show how to keep the romance and passion alive. Unfortunately, this stuff isn’t taught in school and most of us didn’t receive a reference book for guidance. Although it probably should be with divorce rates in the US still hovering around 50%.

Why Do Relationships Get Boring and Lose Their Luster After Time?

In the beginning of a relationship, many times we put forth so much effort to woo our potential partner; planning activities, experiences and even surprises for one another. We go to dinner and talk for hours because we have so much to share and learn about one another. We have engaging conversations about everything, inhaling and soaking in the essence of one another. Then life happens. We settle into our daily life and routines, maybe throw in a couple of kids and the busyness of life allows us to easily put our most important relationship on the back burner. Date nights are now relegated to dinner and a movie if we make it out of the house at all. I get it, you’ve worked hard all week and planning a date night probably seems overwhelming and putting on your pj’s ordering take out and watching Netflix seems like the path of least resistance. When the word date or dating is mentioned, most people conjure up images of single people who are dating and looking for that special someone. Rarely do we as a society think beyond to the fact that we should never stop dating our spouse or long-term partner. The reason many relationships become routine and boring is that couples stop dating each other. It’s as simple as that. Giving your relationship scraps of time can lead to its demise. In the beginning of a relationship, it's very easy to be intentional but over time if you don’t pay attention to it, it’s easy to get into a relationship rut.

How Long Does It Take for a Relationship to Become Boring?

We’ve all heard of the 7-year-itch. The estimated time when the happiness of a couple diminishes. Every couple is different and it really boils down to how exciting you keep your relationship. If you quickly get into a relationship rut of doing the same boring things, you will become bored with your relationship more quickly. However, if you are committed to avoid falling into this routine and are intentional about keeping the desire alive in your relationship, you can avoid becoming bored for the most part. Relationships do have ebbs and flows and of course, there are times your relationship will be more interesting. The problem arises when your relationship becomes stale for long periods of time. In most relationship studies, romantic love dwindles over time and we lose the butterflies we once had in the beginning. In a relationship study conducted by Dr. Arthur Aron at the University of New York at Stony Brook, it was determined that novelty or trying new things can create the chemical surges of courtship and can significantly increase the satisfaction in relationship when practiced consistently.((New York Times: Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples )) Life can be messy and even great relationships can become stale and boring at times; this is absolutely normal. You won’t be at risk of abandoning your relationship if you’re aware of this and have a plan to get out of your rut when you see this happening.

What to Do If You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

Plan a date of course! I’m a fan of surprise dates. In fact, I recommend this to my clients. Commit to plan one surprise date for your partner every month and have them plan one surprise date for you each month. Preferably an interactive or doing date. Then when you grab a bite to eat, you’ll have something to talk about, the new experience you just created together. When is the last time you really had a great conversation? A conversation that doesn’t involve talking about work or the kids? When you share a novel experience, this gives you something new to talk about after your date. It’s great to print out a few questions to take on your date. You can find some great ones on the web or another option is TABLETOPICS Couples: Questions to Start Great Conversations if you need more inspiration. You can keep it light with something like “If you had a super power what would it be?” to something a little deeper such as “If today were the last time we saw each other what would you want me to know?” These probing questions provide greater insight and awareness into your partner and them of you. The great thing about taking turns planning dates for each other is that you eliminate the age-old question, “What do you want to do tonight?” which is usually followed by, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” Then after debating for 45 minutes, you may end up doing nothing. This is the secret sauce of the surprise date. Just tell your date when to be ready and what to wear and there’s no debate or resistance. No shooting down your date ideas. Just the addition of novelty and doing something different together to increase connection and romance. Once a month, you get to give the gift of adventure and surprise and once a month, you get to sit back, relax and enjoy the date. If you’re on a budget, no problem. There are numerous free date ideas. Some of my favorites are building a tent over your bed, a scavenger hunt, or dance lessons using free YouTube videos. If you’re still craving more date night inspiration check out 32 Cheap and Uniquely Fun Date Ideas for Couples, it’s filled with date ideas you can do on any budget.

Final Thoughts

When your relationship becomes stale, you may feel like the solution is to find a new one that’s more exciting, which is the easy way, but it’s only a temporary fix. If you continue with your same patterns in your new relationship, you’re bound to end up in the same predicament months or years later. While relationships take effort, they are so rewarding when you are in a good one. My hope is that you create an amazing relationship, and that you never settle for one that’s just good enough. Innovation in relationship is the key to avoiding boredom, and ensuring that you have a relationship that will go the distance and last a lifetime. One of my favorite quotes by Tony Robins is,
“If you do what you did in the beginning of the relationship there won’t be an end.”
Create the relationship of your dreams by being intentional about adding novelty and surprise through interactive date nights. You’ll be happy you did!

Thursday, 28 November 2019

How to Stop Feeling Guilty and Free Your Mind

Is there anything that you feel guilty about? I think we can all agree that guilt is a heavy burden. Metaphorically, it can make you feel like you are carrying a huge weight on your shoulders. If you allow it to, guilt can hold you hostage and consume your life. This is the ultimate form of self-betrayal. I've got great news for you... you don't have to carry around this negative emotion for one day longer. If you’ve ever stopped to take stock of all the emotions you feel, you've surely come across basic emotions like “happy” or “sad.” These are emotions that are easy to understand, and we usually know where they’re coming from. According to Psychology Today, these are hardwired, innate emotions, meaning that we’ve all got them and can recognize them in ourselves and others.((Psychology Today: What Are Basic Emotions?)) As we all know, life can get messy sometimes. This is when not-so-fun emotions tend to creep up and try to ruin our day, or worse, our life. One of these emotions is guilt. So, how to stop feeling guilty? You'll learn about it in this article.

Guilt Defined

There are different definitions of guilt, depending on which modality you view it from. I resonate most with a cognitive approach which states that guilt is an emotion that people experience because they’re convinced they’ve caused harm to someone.((Psychology Today: The Definitive Guide To Guilt)) This is a trap that a lot of people fall into, including me. Oftentimes, it's the illusion of possible harm that you've inflicted upon someone that causes guilty feelings. It's really easy to misinterpret the events or behaviors of others. No matter how you deconstruct it, guilt sucks. The question is.... why do we feel guilty? Once you know where your guilty feelings come from, you can learn how to stop feeling guilty and free your mind to focus on more empowering things.

Why We Feel Guilty

Guilt is a personal experience, meaning that what may make you feel guilty may not bother someone else in the slightest. It all boils down to the moral code that you live by. If you think that something is wrong, and I don’t, you’ll feel guilty for doing it even if I don’t care. At its core, guilt is a way of recognizing that we have not lived up to our own values and standards.((Psychology Today: What Makes Us Feel Guilty?)) In the words of BrenĂ© Brown,
"It's holding something we've done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.”
The most common cause of guilt comes from the things you do or don't do. Letting yourself down is one thing, but letting someone else down is a perfect recipe for experiencing guilt, which can sometimes lead to shame.

What Does Guilt Do to You?

Guilt, like most negative emotions, isn’t a good feeling to have. Having to rethink your bad choices can drive you crazy and force you to overthink how you could have done things differently. But, as we’ve already learned, there’s no going back when you've followed through with something. When you feel guilty, you may automatically jump to your own defense. Some people will try to talk themselves into thinking that their actions weren’t as hurtful as they were. Sometimes, we try to find ways to believe that the people we’ve harmed deserved it somehow. This is just the ego talking. When we’re forced to re-evaluate these beliefs, we may become irritable or defensive, which is a self-defense mechanism. On the flip side, when we’ve accepted our guilt, we often try to compensate for it. So, if you’ve made someone upset, you may do everything in your power to try to make him or her happy again. While making someone feel better can be a great thing, it can also take a toll on your emotional state. It’s important to remember that trying to hold onto or fix a relationship through the emotion of guilt isn't necessarily healthy. Choose your battles wisely, knowing that you cannot change the past, only re-write the future. If the people in your life aren't on board with that concept, it's time to rethink the friendships.

The Side Effects of Guilt

When you're feeling guilty, oftentimes, that means that you're also stressed. If you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done, it only makes sense that it will take a toll on your body. This is why it's important to assess how your guilt is impacting you physically. Guilt also takes a toll on an already fragile mental state. It contributes significantly to depression and anxiety, as it very often involves a negative view of self.((Web MD: Is Guilt Getting The Best Of You?)) The more that you think about things, the more you start to dwell on them. If you ruminate about your actions on repeat, you're taking up space in your mind that could go to more productive thought patterns. Don't let guilt get the best of you. Give yourself a break. Life is way too short to feel guilty all of the time, and it's bad for your health.

How to Stop Feeling Guilty And Set Yourself Free

It is possible to retrain your brain to stop feeling guilty. Feeling guilty about things that you've done wrong is perfectly normal, but when you hold onto guilt for too long, it has the potential to take over your entire life. This is why it's important that you retrain your brain to stop feeling guilty. It starts with learning how to effectively cope with feelings of guilt in a proactive way

1. Own Your Decisions

Once you make a conscious decision and carefully weigh your options, it's over. Agonizing about what you should have done differently will only drive you crazy. The moment that you take responsibility for your choice, you stop overthinking and move on. Where people get stuck is that they make decisions without thinking about the consequences. As a result, they end up creating situations that lead to stress and guilt. Don't let life happen to you. Rather, let it happen for you. The best way to do this is by making decisions and owning them. By choosing any decision (even if it's not the best one), you are claiming personal ownership. This is how you diminish feelings of guilt and shame and reclaim your power.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

You're not perfect and nobody is expecting you to be. We all make mistakes. Don't self-sabotage yourself more than you have to because life is hard enough as it is. It's important to realize that feeling compassion for yourself does not mean that you instantly give up responsibility for your actions. Rather, it means that you are finally able to let go of self-hatred and free your mind. The next time you start to experience feelings of guilt, try practicing self-compassion instead. Make it a daily ritual. Tell yourself that you're good enough and forgive your wrongs. You're worthy of that.

3. Reflect Upon Your Actions

You can't change anything until you intimately reflect upon what it is that you did to make you feel guilty. Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. When we accept the invitation to reflect upon our actions, we force ourselves to go inwards and do the work to better understand who we are. Guilt leads to unproductive behaviors like rumination, which compromises your self-awareness by not letting you remain in the present.((Intention Inspired: How To Develop Self-Awareness By Giving Up On Guilt)) There is no point trying to run away from whatever it is that's causing you to feel guilty. So, why do you feel guilty? Don’t place blame elsewhere. Instead, accept the role that you played in a situation. Once you’ve done this, you can start to think about why you made the mistake in the first place.

4. Learn from Your Mistakes

You're human, remember? That means that you're allowed to screw up. It's a part of the process of becoming the best version of yourself. Whenever you feel like you've made a mistake, it's important to take the time to think about what you wish you had done differently. The best way to prevent yourself from spiraling into guilt is to ask yourself, “What can I learn from this experience?” If you're not failing forward and learning from your mistakes, then you are most likely punishing yourself. When we learn to experience guilty feelings as a way of receiving information, we are already healing from our mistakes.((The Oprah Magazine: How To Actually Forgive Yourself)) Don't ask for permission from someone to set yourself free from guilt. Give that gift to yourself.

Final Thoughts

Don't allow guilt to control your life. Living your life feeling bad about yourself is a waste of precious time. Life is short. Forgive yourself, move on and be happy. Are you ready to stop feeling guilty and free your mind? Take a deep breath and let go. Life is waiting for you.

More About Freeing Yourself



Wednesday, 27 November 2019

How to Learn at Work in the Most Effective Way

The world of work is changing rapidly. It’s common for professionals to be expected to do more with fewer resources. This only fuels stress and feelings of overwhelm. Not only do you need to perform tasks on hand, but you also need to equip yourself with the skills and knowledge to sustain your career, advance your career and improve your work performance. When you feel too busy to upgrade your skills, how do you make time to learn at work? Continuous learning impacts your employability. It is essential to show employers your willingness to stay updated or even ahead of trends. Your ability to think critically, be agile from learning and consistently apply what you learn is critical in a constantly changing economy. In this article, you will discover how to learn at work effectively:

1. Identify Your Learning Goals

Here are a few questions to help you think about your learning goals:
  • Why do you want to learn?
  • What do you want to learn?
  • What’s the motivation behind your learning?
  • What knowledge or skills can help advance your career?
  • What knowledge or skills can help enhance your work performance?
  • What do you need in order to grow in your career and as a person?
Consider feedback or comments from your peers, managers, and stakeholders. There is no limit on what you can learn. The learning can range from technical skills to interpersonal skills.

2. Take Concrete Action

You need to take control. If you’re not invested in your own learning, no one else will be. This means you’ll need to take steps to realize your learning. Taking action comes in different forms for different learners. For example, asking your manager to be considered for a project or seeking advice from your mentor. Take the initiative. When you show others’ that you’re a continuous and willing learner, they will likely see your growth and be more likely to invest their time and resources in you.

3. Make Learning a Habit

Set realistic and achievable learning goals. Select one to a maximum of three learning goals. Commit to your goal like you would to eating healthy foods or exercise. You may want to find an accountability partner or inform your manager so that you have a supportive network to keep you on track. Take a look at this article and learn how to do so: How to Develop a Lifelong Learning Habit

4. Budget Time to Learn

You need to make a conscious effort to learn. This means intentionally making time and space to learn. Make sure that you learn in bite-sized pieces so that it’s sustainable over the long-run. This could mean blocking off 15 minutes daily in your calendar or whatever suits your learning style. For example, if you learn one new word daily, you will learn 365 words in a year. We all know that life and work happens, and you may feel too busy to learn. However, by being mindful of why learning is important to you and making it a priority in our calendars we are reminded to turn a learning habit into a routine.

5. Learn On-the-Job

A common perception is that the majority of learning happens in the classroom. However, 30 years of research in leadership development has proven that 70% of learning happens on-the-job. Here’s the breakdown of effective leadership development learning experiences:((Center for Creative Leadership: The 70-20-10 Rule for Leadership Development ))
  • 70% challenging assignments
  • 20% developmental relationships, and
  • 10% course work
And here're 7 ways to learn on-the-job:

Stretch Assignments

Once you’ve identified your learning objective, you can find stretch assignments or projects that can facilitate your learning. For example, if you’ve identified that building relationships is a skill that you’d like to enhance, you may want to seek projects that involve multiple stakeholders.

Create New Experiences

Whatever knowledge-base you’re trying to expand, try to get out of your routine and find new experiences related to your learning goal. Sometimes, in order for you to learn at work, you’ll need to create new experiences. Review the strategic direction of your organization for development ideas. New experiences can entail activities such as new client opportunities, more cross-functional partnerships, job shadowing, job rotations, or volunteer work.

Learn from Others

Learning from others is a simple and easy way to pick up quick tips.
  • Heighten your observation skills. The next time you’re sitting in a meeting, what do you notice about the presenter? What do you see in their body language? What do you notice about the participants in the meeting? What lessons did you learn from the meeting that you can apply the next time you run a meeting?
  • Learn at work by observing someone who inspires you. Maybe this person is an effective people developer or seems to navigate workplace conflict with ease. What is it about this person that inspires you? What leadership behaviours does this person show? How does this person act?
  • Learn from your manager. We’ve all had managers that were remarkable and those that are unforgivable. What qualities do you want to exhibit? What qualities are better left behind?
  • Learn from your peers. Notice the strengths of every peer on your team. What do they do well? How do they contribute to the team? What do they have in common?

Ask Questions

There is a lot to learn in any organization. Learn at work by being curious and asking questions. When you ask questions, you are clarifying and seeking to better understand the situation and people involved. The information you gather expands your mind and knowledge-base. Try asking more open-ended questions beginning with Who, What, Where, When, Why, or How so that you can get a more descriptive narrative from the other party.

Find a Mentor or Trusted Advisor

We all need someone who we can talk things out with. A mentor or trusted advisor can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings without being judged. Be very specific about what you need from your mentor: How to Find a Mentor That Will Help You Succeed What efforts have you made to enhance your knowledge and skills? Share with your mentor the action you have taken. This is a great starting point to show your mentor that you have experimented with a few options and would now like to have a discussion on how to move forward. This approach will likely be better received than just asking your mentor for advice. A peer once told me to bring RIBS - Raise an Issue and Bring a Solution. Remember that your mentor’s time is valuable. Show him/her that you have invested in yourself and tried to make improvements on your own first.

Get Support

Let your manager know that you welcome opportunities for learning. She/he will likely have exposure to on-the-job opportunities that are aligned with your learning needs and the organization’s goals. Keeping them updated on your learning progress can also support your performance goals. This will give you an opportunity to tweak your learning goals based on your career aspirations and their observations of your performance.

Ask to be Introduced to New a Colleague

Building positive relationships across the organization can help increase your cross-functional knowledge. Speaking with people outside of your department can help you better understand different perspectives as you work towards team and organizational goals. Employers recognize collaboration as a key skill to build organizational capacity and influence without authority.

Bottom Line

You need to be very intentional about your own learning. The most effective way to learn at work is on-the-job. This means you need to identify your learning goals, create a learning habit and identify on-the-job experiences that will effectively facilitate your learning. Some key ways to learn on-the-job include:
  • Stretch assignments
  • Create new experiences
  • Learn from others
  • Ask questions
  • Find a mentor or trusted advisor
  • Get support
  • Ask to be introduced to new a colleague
No one can take knowledge away from you. It’s in your own interest to continue to grow and develop yourself. Learn with a beginner's mindset, stay curious, and keep your assumptions a bay to gain new perspectives.

More to Help You Learn Faster



15 Daily Rituals of Highly Successful People

A common question people often ask is how those who make it to the top attain their success. One of the many answers to this question could be hidden in what they adopt as their daily rituals — but what exactly are rituals, and how do they relate to success? A ritual is any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner. In this context, it must mean that successful people have adopted daily practices that make it possible for them to bring their dreams to life. This could be because rituals help you develop healthy habits as well as the discipline you need to succeed. Introducing new rituals into your daily life can seem intimidating at first, but it is something that you can achieve. It starts with deciding what daily ritual or rituals you want to adopt, committing to them for at least thirty days, and then tweaking them if necessary. The process won’t always be an easy or consistent one, but the potential benefits that come with it are innumerable. Here're 15 daily rituals of highly successful people:

1. Wake up Early

Waking up early can be challenging, especially if you don’t see yourself as a morning person. However, waking up before the sun rises could give you a great head start and get your day on the right track. One highly successful person that wakes up before 6 a.m. is Apple's CEO Tim Cook, who starts his day at 3:45 a.m. ((Business Insider: A look inside the daily routine of Apple CEO Tim Cook, who wakes up before dawn and gets up to 800 emails a day )) There are also the likes of Michelle Obama and Bill McNabb (Chairman of the Vanguard group) that are known to rise before the crack of dawn. These all being incredibly successful people, it’s easy to wonder if waking up early is truly the source of their success. How beneficial can it be, really, when some mornings it’s more painful than anything? One answer would be that when you wake up early, you have enough time to get the ball rolling on your morning rituals. It also gives you the chance to dedicate your first conscious hours to personal development in the form of journaling or another creative project, like mentioned in a previous section. When you’re early to rise, you’re more likely to feel in control of your day as opposed to racing against the clock because you slept in until noon. Learn how to wake up earlier like the successful people do: How to Become an Early Riser and Stay Energetic

2. Meditate Every Morning

You’ve likely heard so much buzz about meditation that if you didn’t care about it before, you’re curious to see what all the hype is about now. Meditation is a practice where you use techniques to train your attention and awareness. The ultimate goal of meditation should be to make yourself mentally calm and emotionally stable It may interest you to know that Oprah, who is one of the most successful media executives, actresses, and talk show hosts in the world meditates in the morning. She apparently meditates each day, and finds it gives her a sense of contentment as well as joy. ((Oprah: What Oprah Knows About the Power of Meditation )) Both of these things could certainly be a good foundation for starting your day and executing your goals — especially if you want to end up like Oprah. And don’t we all? According to Healthline, meditation is even a way to lengthen your attention span and reduce stress, which would allow you to become more efficient and make getting things done throughout the day easier. ((Healthline: 12 Science-Based Benefits of Meditation )) For those that are new to meditation, start by getting comfortable and preparing to sit still for a few minutes. You’ll then focus your attention on your inhale and exhale and follow your breath for at least two minutes. Here's a guide for you too: The Guided Morning Meditation for Beginners (That Will Change Your Day)

3. Have a Healthy Breakfast

What you eat matters when it comes to success. Perhaps this is why some highly successful individuals include having a healthy breakfast in their daily ritual. Simon Cowell, the popular X-Factor creator and judge says he starts his day by having papaya juice with lime, oatmeal, and two smoothies. He also has a cup of tea which is a ritual that could change your life as the practice forces you to slow down and focus, even if only for a few minutes — especially when combined with meditation, as mentioned earlier. Not to mention, if you’re up early enough to eat breakfast, it probably means you didn’t sleep in too late, either — unless you enjoy pancakes at 3 p.m., in which case, more power to you. Get inspired by these 31 Healthy Breakfast Recipes That Will Super Boost Your Energy .

4. Plan Your Day

Planning your day early should help you better manage your time as you’ll know exactly what your objectives for the day are, and you won’t get lost in all the fluffiness surrounding you (like watching TV, unless that was one of your determined goals). Get a notebook and write down the things you want to accomplish, while also using that time to brainstorm your tasks like the pros. ((Lucichart: How to Brainstorm: 4 Ways to Get the Creative Juices Flowing )) It’s a great way to get your creative juices flowing, jumpstart your brain, and prepare for amazing things.

5. Follow the 80/20 Rule

There is an 80/20 rule , also known as the “Pareto Principle,” which states that 80% of outcomes are a result of 20% of activities. In this scenario, prioritizing your tasks and focusing on the most important things should give you a better outcome. You’ll spend less time on the small things, giving all of your energy to the big things the first time around, and accomplishing those things the first time, as well. You don’t have to worry about going back and fixing errors where you weren’t focused, or not feeling confident about the work you produced, because you were totally engaged in it the entire time without question. You save time, emotional energy, and more when you purposefully put in that 20% with everything you have. When you focus on less, or on just one big thing at a time, it could also help minimize procrastination as you may not feel as overwhelmed.

6. Schedule Tasks on Your Calendar

Some successful people have decided to do away with traditional to-do lists and schedule everything ahead of time instead. Co-founder of The Art Charm, Jordan Harbinger, suggests using a calendar to schedule your entire day into 15-minute blocks. It could take away from the stress and anxiety that can come when you see all of the things on your list that haven’t been done yet. You have a set schedule to finish everything up — and adding the things to your list, every morning can be a form of meditation, especially if done in a calm environment with a warm cup of tea to keep you company. It may be worth a try, as only 41% of things on to-do lists are ever actually done, according to a survey done by LinkedIn in May 2012.((Babak M: 5 ways to be more productive with your to-do list))

7. Allocate Time for Email

Each day, the average office worker is said to receive 121 emails. ((LifeWire: 19 Fascinating Email Facts)) So that your day isn’t spent checking and replying to emails, allocate a specific time for it, and stick to that time in the schedule. While some choose to check it in the morning, others may prefer to do so in the afternoon, or perhaps break it up into digestible pieces throughout the day. The main point is that refreshing and scrolling your email every 10 minutes isn’t productive for anyone. Doing this could help you boost productivity levels and focus on more important tasks. Watching where your time goes is essential if you want to see progress and succeed. After all, as you want to be the most effective and most efficient in what you have your hands on, whether it’s spreadsheets at your office job or the ropes in your macrame wall hanging.

8. Make Time for Things you Value

Getting so caught up in your desire to succeed can keep you from living a balanced life. To stay grounded, don’t forget to connect with the people and things that you love, introducing a little more self-care and mindfulness into your daily routine. A failure to do so could result in you neglecting your support system or the things that make you who you are, and before you know it, you aren’t sure how you got to the place you did. You might not even be unhappy — but you might not feel totally all there emotionally or spiritually, either. For some, they value family time, while for others giving back is a must. Whatever it is, add it to your daily ritual and touch base with it regularly.

9. Unplug Periodically

It’s so easy to lose touch with yourself, especially in this technological age where there are a million and one distractions coming at you daily. Some of the ways that successful people unplug include forfeiting the need to instantly reply to messages, simplifying fun time, and simply doing absolutely nothing. ((Maryville University: How Successful People Unplug )) You could decide that your way of personalizing this ritual is to turn off all of your tech devices an hour before bed, or perhaps have dedicated time in the morning for journaling, writing, drawing, reading, or something else creative and not based on tech. Some people may even choose to go on tech-fasts, meaning they use their laptops, phones, TVs, and so on, only when necessary — no mindless scrolling allowed. No matter how you unplug, just ensure you create time for yourself so you can mentally rest and approach your goals with a clear mind. You may also want to try these 5 Simple Ways to Unplug and Be More Mindful In Your Life.

10. Exercise

There are endless benefits of exercise, and this may be why so many successful people have it on their list of daily rituals. Barack Obama, former president of the United States, said he would start his day early so that he could prioritize exercise. ((Business Insider: Barack Obama morning routine experiment )) Exercise could be a key to success because it is said to improve your cognitive functioning. ((Forbes: The Single Most Important Habit For Achieving Super Success )) Additionally, working out can help build your mental strength, which is something you’ll need to overcome the obstacles you may face. This goes to say that although exercise has many benefits for your body, it does a great deal for your mind, too. Anyone who works out regularly can likely attest to the confidence boost they get when able to push their body beyond what they thought was their limit, too. It acts as a confidence booster while, at the same time, nourishing the body with endorphins and everything else that comes with increasing one’s heart rate. This ability to push yourself and persist even when things are hard is necessary if you want to be successful in any career. Training yourself to do that daily will only help in your endeavors. ((Washington State University: Five Habits of Successful Business People ))

11. Read Often

Adult life can be so hectic that you seldom find time to read books. One famous person that takes reading seriously is Warren Buffet, who dedicates 80% of each day to reading. ((Farnam Street: The Buffett Formula: Going to Bed Smarter Than When You Woke Up )) His philosophy is that when you read, your knowledge builds up like compound interest. With this in mind, be selective about the books you read, as highly successful individuals tend to choose education over entertainment — though indulging in fantasy, fiction, and all other kinds of genres probably won’t really hurt you, either. ((Business Insider: A self-made millionaire who studied 1,200 wealthy people found they all have one — free — pastime in common )) Here're some recommendations for you: 25 Best Self Improvement Books to Read No Matter How Old You Are

12. Engage in a Hobby

When thinking about daily rituals, creativity may not come to mind as a form of self-care or something important to you, emotionally. In fact, sometimes people are so hung up on things like reading and working out that they forget letting their hair down is important, too. Creative hobbies that you add to daily rituals could be anything that get your blood pumping and prepares your mind for creativity.((Appnovation: The Unpredictable Temperment of Creativity )) If you aren’t sure what hobby you should pick up, use the activities that you enjoy most as a guide and take it from there, allowing your ideas and your interests to evolve as you explore new hobby territories. Enjoy knitting? Try macrame. Like playing video games? Try reading more graphic novels.

13. Journal

Keeping track of your thoughts and feelings is another daily ritual worth trying. One of the simplest ways to do this would be by journaling at least once a day. Journaling can help improve your emotional intelligence, as you’re forced to be more reflective and make sense of your emotions by writing them down. This means you’d be more self-aware and mindful and, as a result, better able to interact with others. It’s also worth noting that journaling can be used for other purposes, such as tracking progress on personal or career goals. What’s more, there are so many ways to journal, and they don’t all have to happen in a physical notebook. Research mobile apps, browser extensions, or something else you can write in at any moment. Some people also journal in the way of scrapbooking or photo-books — do what feels right for you. Don’t squish yourself into a box that doesn’t quite fit!

14. Motivate Yourself

Steve Jobs had a simple morning routine which consisted of him looking at himself in the mirror and asking:((Hubspot: 25 Steve Jobs Quotes That Will Dramatically Shift Your Mindset ))
“...if today were the last day of my life, what would I want to do, and am I about to do it today?”
This question is one that was enough to motivate him. So think about how you can motivate yourself, too. Motivation is both an external and an internal feeling — and if you’re only ever seeking external motivation, once that pool dries up, you’ll be stuck on a raft without a paddle. This ability to regularly self-motivate might not come naturally for everyone, and many people have probably never done it before — and because of that, it’s important to understand that to be able to successfully self-motivate is a learned skill, not a natural one. It just takes practice, practice, practice, and sometimes a little “fake it til you make it.” Cultivating the habit of asking yourself questions about your purpose is one way of motivating yourself. You could also try positive affirmations as a means of creating positive energy and helping you stay focused — whatever you choose, make sure it works for you, specifically, even if it doesn’t work for everyone else!

15. Carry a Notebook

You never know when inspiration will strike, so always carry a notebook around with you. This gives you a chance to jot down notes and ideas that you’d otherwise forget. You can have a number of notebooks and place them in your daily bag, office, and anywhere else you are regularly. When everything is written down, you know that your best ideas are kept in a safe place. Some people may choose to keep this idea notebook separate from their daily journal, and others might be happier combining all of their experiences and ideas into one singular place — find what works best for you. You might choose to not even use a physical notebook, too, just like how you don’t want a physical journal — and that’s okay! The app store is chock full of apps for note-taking and other ways of jotting down thoughts when they come to you.

Final Thoughts

There are easily more than 15 rituals that will put you on the path to success — however, the ones mentioned in this list are a good place to start. With consistency, you should begin to see yourself blossoming into the successful person you’ve always envisioned yourself to be. Try a lot of different things, and be honest with yourself about what works and what doesn’t. In no time, you’ll have your own rituals that help push you into being what you consider a successful person — even if that’s not the same as what it is for everyone else. Just don’t give up. Good luck!

More Powerful Habits & Routines



Tuesday, 26 November 2019

8 Signs of a Micro Manager (And How Not to Become One)

Not all managers who micromanage are intentionally bad. I think it’s also worth noting that not all micromanagers want to be that way. Like you and I, micromanagers usually have the best intentions—to succeed or finish a project well—but their management style often drives people crazy and causes them high stress levels. There are mainly two types of management styles: hands-off and hands-on. In the simplest words, hands-off managers give their employees autonomy, while hands-on managers involve themselves in the daily tasks and activities of their people. Excellent hands-on managers significantly change their team’s lives and careers through the inspiration, motivation, and constant and meaningful feedback they impart. This isn’t always the case, though. Even the best hands-on managers are prone to falling into the micromanagement trap. Merriam-Webster defines micromanagement as the act of managing with excessive control or attention to details. When you micromanage, you observe the work of your employees closely without letting the smallest of details pass. Micromanaging is one of the most harmful and unhealthy habits a manager can have. It’s a barrier to scaling. If you genuinely want your business and your team to grow, you must teach your people to handle responsibilities and take control. How do you know if you’re a micromanager? Let’s look at these eight micromanagement signs along with steps on how to turn that around. What are the signs of a micromanager? You’ll know you’re one if these signs describe your management style:

1. You Want to Be CC’d on Everything.

Your inbox is full of cc’d conversations about even the most minor details. Asking to be copied on emails may seem harmless to you, but it tells your employees that you’re looking over their shoulders. Monitoring their every move may hurt the team’s workflow—and studies prove this. “Choking Under Pressure: Multiple Routes to Skill Failure” published in the American Journal of Experimental Psychology shows that employees who believe they are being watched tend to perform at a lower level.((American Journal of Experimental Psychology: Choking Under Pressure: Multiple Routes to Skill Failure)) What do you get when you watch over everything? Insecurity and inaction in your employees. An overwhelming volume of emails in your inbox.

Turn it around:

If you’re after maintaining a high quality of email exchanges, teach your team email etiquette. Eventually, trust them to handle their email threads on their own. For emails where your feedback or approval is not directly or urgently needed, tell your employees that you no longer need to be copied in them. (Again, trust them to handle their email threads on their own!)

2. You’re Afraid of Losing Control.

Taking #1 further, you constantly feel the urge to check in on your employees’ progress and what they’re doing. You want everything done your way, you always have standards set before anyone can say a word, or you always have exact and step-by-step instructions. As a manager, it is reasonable to monitor your team’s progress and make sure everything is going well, especially after you’ve delegated a task. However, you should remember that everything has its limits. Micromanagement stifles your team’s creativity, communication, and self-development.

Turn it around:

There are smarter ways to check up on a task’s progress without micromanaging:
  • Request for weekly or monthly reports of accomplishments, development, and challenges met.
  • Set Key Performance Indicators (KPIs),((Klipfolio: Key Performance Indicator (KPI) Definition)) which you can use to evaluate your team’s success at achieving key business objectives and reaching targets.
  • Implement Objectives and Key Results (OKRs),((Felipe Castro: The Beginner's Guide to OKR)) which is a simple goal system used by Google, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other big-name companies to help everyone on the team see progress towards common goals.

3. You Do Work That Isn’t Yours.

When you think everyone in your team is an underperformer, there’s a big chance you’re a micromanager. Micromanagers usually follow the 120% rule: unless a person is better than they are at a task—120% better—then that’s the only time they can ever delegate that task. That could mean NOTHING ever really gets delegated. They often think: “Why should I delegate this task if I’m going to do it better?” The result: good employees stop taking the initiative or just leave altogether.

Turn it around:

It comes down to a trust issue. You don’t delegate because you don’t trust your team to finish the work and finish it well. As a first step, start delegating smaller tasks. Depending on their performance and outputs, level up their responsibility so they can grow with you. Replace the 120% rule with the 70% rule—if someone can do a job 70% as good as you can, delegate it to them. Assist them throughout the task and give them all the information they need, but let them take control. In this way, you get 70% of the output using almost none of your time. You have to trust that your employees will complete the work you have assigned them. Show them that you have confidence in their skills and ability to do the job. Remember this: delegating benefits both you and your team. When you delegate tasks, you allow your team to grow and improve. When you delegate tasks, you give yourself more time to focus on your most vital business activities. You can learn more about how to delegate here: How to Delegate Work Effectively (Step-By-Step Guide)

4. You Discourage Independent Decision-Making.

You don’t like it when an employee decides without your input or opinion—even if that decision was within the employee’s level of expertise. Other micromanagers go as far as wanting to solve every problem themselves! When you discourage your people from deciding on their own, you deter people from taking responsibility, and you limit their capacity to grow. You undermine your employees’ trust in their own judgement. While it is crucial to ensure that decisions—especially significant and critical ones—are made well, you have to give your people the autonomy they deserve.

Turn it around:

Take a few steps back and let them find their way. It can be hard to do at first, but it makes sense: if a person was hired to do a specific job, you should let them shine in that area. What you can do is to make yourself approachable for when they have questions and trust that they will come to you when they need your guidance. If you think they can solve a problem without your help, send them away and motivate them to find their way.

5. You Talk the Most at Every Meeting.

You have these three habits when in meetings:
  • You often call a meeting to read a long list of tasks, announcements, and decisions (no objections or questions entertained!).
  • You often call (or attend) meetings to make sure you get their points across (even if your presence isn’t required).
  • You require all employees to attend meetings, whether the topic is relevant to them or not.
What isn’t healthy with this habit is that, in the long run, this will waste precious time, bring about confusion, diminish the team’s efficiency, and ultimately, make the people feel as if their inputs aren’t valued.

Turn it around:

Don’t keep the mic to yourself. Let your employees speak up. It would be helpful to conceptualize new meeting procedures that encourage your employees to join the discussion. Have your employees do their status reports where they will give updates as to their progress on various projects. And as a reminder, the Cambridge dictionary defines the word "meeting" as “a planned occasion when people come together to discuss something”. Don’t do all the talking; value your employees’ contributions and get them involved in the meeting.

6. You Dictate Everything.

When you LOVE to give exact directions on how to complete a task, you might be a micromanager. Micromanagers give detailed and step-by-step instructions for all tasks, even for the simplest ones. It is natural for leaders to give sufficient directions to make sure that the job gets done right. However, detailing every single step hinders your employees from experimenting or getting creative with how they accomplish their tasks. The last thing you’d want to have on your team are robots who don’t think on their own and wait for your instructions. Here’s what’s worse: these employees are bound to feel less engaged with their work as time goes on. According to Gallup, disengaged employees cost US companies somewhere between $450 billion and $550 every single year.((Gallup: How to Tackle U.S. Employees' Stagnating Engagement))

Turn it around:

Always give the “what”, not the “how”. Sharing expectations about a deliverable is far different from dictating how to get that result. Be clear on what the desired outcome looks like. Share with your people your vision, and then ask them about how to get there. As they figure out their strategy and manage their tasks, provide the resources, information, and support that they need to accomplish that vision. Most importantly, give credit where it is due. As your employees explore, they could make small mistakes now and then. And that’s okay. You will eventually realize that these small losses are shaping up and preparing your team to handle bigger responsibilities and tackle bigger goals.

7. You Expect Regular Reports.

Another habit of micromanagers is that they follow up on their team’s tasks and progress now and then. They are busy with monitoring the progress of each employee and course-correcting them. These employees, on the other hand, have to constantly create progress reports or email updates to explain their every move and decision. Asking for constant—and often needless—progress reports can cause significant damage to your team’s motivation and morale:
  • Your employees will feel like someone’s always watching their work, ready to criticize their every move.
  • You discourage independent work and decision-making as you scrutinize everything and pinpoint every mistake.
  • You damage your employees’ trust in you and the higher-ups.
  • You make yourself and your team prioritize the wrong things.
  • You put yourself and your team at risk of burnout.

Turn it around:

Give your employees the autonomy they need. Ask your team’s input on the most effective ways for everyone to monitor each other’s progress without you being over-controlling. Outline this new approach and stick to it — set boundaries as to when your employees should bring you in on a project. Remember, employees who enjoy autonomy in their job produce better work and express greater satisfaction. Consequently, they become more driven and more engaged in their roles.

8. Your Team Has a Consistently High Turnover.

If you have noticed a disturbing trend of people leaving after less than two years of work, it may be high time to review your management style. While the issue could be with them, there’s also a possibility that it’s because of how you manage them. Aside from great pay and benefits, employees want to work at a place where they can grow and where they feel that their ideas are valued. Before your employees get annoyed or disempowered by your micromanagement, you have to take action—take care of your employees and let go of the reins.

Turn it around:

Ask yourself: are you offering support or judgement? It’s easy to be so caught up in the details, the standards, the day-to-day activities, and the processes, but do you take time to invest in your people? As I have said earlier, not all micromanagers are necessarily “evil”. Sometimes, micromanagers manage the way they do because they have a genuine investment in the team’s success. It’s just that they have to use their time and effort to lead the people instead of managing and being overbearing.

It's Never Too Late to Change!

The good news is that it’s never too late to change. Work on reviewing your management style, ask genuine feedback from your staff and take action to implement the necessary changes. It’s not going to be an overnight transition, but what’s important is that you start and take one step at a time. Here’s a Steve Jobs quote that’s a great reminder for us all, micromanagers or not:
“It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”

More About Leadership



How to Use Visual Learning to Learn Effectively

People learn in different ways; and out of the many forms of learning, one is particularly interesting -- that is those who partake in visual learning. These are the people who envision precise locations, have a near-photographic memory or can remember covers of books or specific details vividly. These people possess truly unique abilities, however, one of the problems visual learners face is their uphill battle with learning. Ever since elementary school, our education system is a system that benefits primarily one form of learning over others. And while our education system isn’t good in accommodating visual learning, the learning community at large has uncovered a wide variety of information. In fact, there are some highly effective learning techniques that visual learners can use to learn effectively now and for the future.

The Characteristics of a Visual Learner

To determine whether visual learning is best for you, it’s worth looking at characteristics. In school settings, study.com uncovered the following traits:((Study.com: Visual Learning Style: Definition & Characteristics))
  • Remember what they read over what they hear.
  • Prefer reading stories over listening.
  • Learn through sight.
  • Use diagrams, charts, and drawings to understand ideas and concepts.
  • They will take notes during classes and presentations.
  • They study by reviewing things.
  • Have good spelling.
  • Requires them to have a quiet space and time to study.
  • Prefer working alone rather than in groups.
  • Will ask questions to clarify.
Visual learners also portray the following characteristics:
  • Can recall faces, but not names.
  • Have a good sense of direction and are good with maps.
  • Make to-do lists.
  • Will notice changes in appearance in both physical space and in people.
  • Often are quiet and shy.
  • Have a good sense of fashion.
  • Make plans for the future.

The Perks of Visual Learning

While visual learners can benefit from this unique way of learning, those who aren't visual learners can still reap benefits from it. While everyone has their own preference for learning, studies show that a predominant amount of us are visually inclined. Consider the work of Silverman L.K. who in 2002 did a study of 750 students in two schools.((Silverman L.K.: Upside-Down Brilliance: The Visual-Spatial Learner)) From the study, Silverman discovered 63% of students surveyed were visual-spatial learners. The problem is that those talents couldn't be seen well seeing as the education system lacked support in that area. By including more visual learning in the classroom, those individuals will reap the benefits. Even the auditory learners can get benefits as well. This is based on Richard Mayer's work who, in 2009, found that when using texts and graphics, retention increased by 42%.((Richard Mayer: Meyer, R. E. (2009) Multimedia Learning. New York: Cambridge University Press)) Here's what visual learning can do in terms of effective learning:

Help Store Info Longer

Our brains process pictures faster than they do words. Whenever we see pictures, they are etched in our long-term memory, allowing us to recall concepts and ideas.

Make Communication Quicker And Simpler

Do you know why so many blog posts are listed in bullets? Do you know why people get headaches or confused when they see massive walls of text and no paragraphs? It’s because we’ve learned that breaking information into smaller sections - and using bullet points - can help in processing information better. It’s the same idea as using an image or video for learning. This was uncovered by the Visual Teaching Alliance which has listed all kinds of facts on visual learning.((Visual Teaching Alliance: Why Visual Teaching)) What all this means is that, since we have a bias towards images, videos, and bullet points for learning, the best way for us to convey ideas is to use these methods in future teaching methods. These mediums can help us convey ideas in many ways compared to walls of text.

Serve as a Stimulus for Emotions

Emotions and visual information are processed in the exact same spot in our brain. Because of this connection, if we use plenty of visuals to stir emotions, people will be able to form links easier. All because they got an emotional response from something. This idea is similar to why we consume content in general, the headline pulls us in because it stirs an emotion within us.

Inspire People

We all have subjects that we’re not that excited for or that we struggle to grasp. Whatever the case is, visual has a way of sparking motivation and interest. There is that emotional aspect I mentioned, but the idea of putting in videos, images, and graphics break up the boredom of information and motivate and excite people. When we are engaged with what we're learning -even if it's something we're not remotely keen on - it can still benefit us.

How a Visual Learner Learns Best

Visual learners need to embrace visual learning techniques and strategies to learn effectively. Like with any other learning style, there are a number of ways for you to gain benefits. Broadly speaking, some strategies that ThoughtCo ((ThoughtCo: The Visual Learning Style)) have brought up come to mind:
  • Taking notes as you learn.
  • Studying by yourself.
  • Sitting closer to the instructor in classroom settings.
But there are other techniques that can be considered as well. Here are four other highly regarded techniques:

1. Use To-Do Lists

With so many things on the go, it makes sense for people to start organizing duties once more in to-do lists. Even if you're not a visual learner, a to-do list can let you order tasks based on importance and boost your productivity. In learning settings, this also adds structure. People can understand and process what is being covered over the course of the class or lecture. In a sense, it outlines the person's goals and intentions. What's also nice about to-do lists is their flexibility. For example, some people have decided to color-code tasks or use various shapes and symbols. These pull the attention of the individual and can serve as a guiding post for them.

2. Add Graphs And Charts

Adding in graphs and charts to convey ideas is another way to learn effectively. It's along the same lines as using to-do lists, though this is more time-consuming. Using graphs and charts can help in a wide variety of areas for personal life, and for learning. Graphs and charts can help you keep an eye on finances and budgeting for example. In learning, they can be used to convey ideas and enhance your learning. Further exploring this, graphs can help us develop data literacy.((Inspiration Software: Teaching And Learning With Plots And Graphs)) Since graphs and charts can be used in all manner of things, we can use data literacy to ask meaningful questions which can deepen our learning experience.

3. Use Mind-Mapping

Mind-mapping is a form of note-taking that specifically benefits visual learning. The idea with mind-mapping is to display relationships and connections to people, places, events and more. This technique helps with broad learning of particular concepts, but it has other applications as well. You can use this to break down tasks - similar to to-do lists - and it can measure your productivity as well. Learn more about mind-mapping in this article: How to Mind Map: Visualize Your Cluttered Thoughts in 3 Simple Steps

4. Use Videos

As mentioned above, videos have a way of gripping people's attention, so why not incorporate it into your learning? We all have a little bit of visual learning in us, so videos greatly benefit everyone in the room. It allows us to recreate those stories into clear pictures in our minds. I would encourage you to be creative with videos. While you can try to record the lecturer or their words can help you, it might also benefit you to record yourself and make videos explaining certain concepts. This helps with the learning process because we often use hand gestures and other techniques instinctively to say what we mean; even outside of learning atmospheres.

Final Thoughts

While visual learning has a lot of benefits, it's not the only learning style that helps with your learning. Each learning style has its benefits and everyone has their own preferences. The key to visual learning is that since so many of us have some visual learning aspect, we should use it to complement our learning experience. And based on the various techniques and effects, visual learning can definitely help you learn faster.

More About Learning



Monday, 25 November 2019

How to Train Your Brain to Be Creative

Have you ever looked down on yourself or even think you can never achieve anything significant in life? This belittling thought pattern will prevent you from attaining peak performance and becoming productive in life and your relationships. It will also hinder you from being opened to greater possibilities that can change your life. This is the more reason you need to learn how to be creative.

What Is Creativity?

Creativity is the ability or tendency to recognize and curate ideas, possibilities, alternatives that are crucial to solving issues, connect others, and entertain one another. When we talk about creativity, some names readily come to mind. It's interesting to know that most of these creative people from Beethoven to Steve Jobs are ordinary people who exceptionally perform ordinary things. Therefore, it will not be an understatement to add your name to the list if you think you are creative. You may disqualify yourself because you have not created anything new. This has been found out to be a great misconception when discussing how creativity works. Creativity is not only about inventing something new. There is nothing ever new or original. Every genius that has ever worked the face of the earth has only learned how to connect ideas and things to generate meaningful value.

Why Is Creativity Important?

People aspire to learn how to be creative for the following reasons:

The Need to Impact Meaningful Values

We are here to change the world. If you want to make a significant difference in life, there is a likely chance you are tapping the innate creative ability on your inside.

The Need to Address Problems

The world will become short of creative people once we stop having issues that threaten our existence like global warming. Is there darkness in the world? A genius will invent light. Is the light not eco-friendly? Another creative person will design how to leverage solar power to light up the world, and the chain becomes endless.

The Need for Complex, Varied and Novel Stimulation

If you hate the status quo like me, there is a chance you will end up with an innovative idea. Creative individuals learn how to look at life from other perspectives. They don't go with the flow. They test a series of alternatives that can contribute meaningful value to life.

10 Creative Thinking Methods

So how can you be creative on demand? Here're 10 thinking methods you should know:

1. Creative Problem Solving

This is a means of addressing issues or identifying opportunities when conventional thought processes have failed to yield results. The method encourages you to discover fresh perspectives and devise innovative ideas or solutions to surmount a daunting challenge.

2. Brainstorming

This technique is deployed to tackle a design problem. It usually comprises a group that is guided by a facilitator. The capability of each session is inherent in the ability of the participants to draw a connection between their novel ideas in the outside world. Alex Osborn, the inventor of brainstorming in his book, Applied Imagination written in 1953, affirmed that,
"We aim squarely at a particular design problem and generate an arsenal of possible solutions. By not just harvesting our ideas but putting into consideration our colleagues' concept, we cover the issue from all angles imaginable."

3. Charette

It is a thorough planning session that connects designers, citizens, and other polymaths to collaborate on a developmental cause. It offers an opportunity for sharing ideas and provides a rare privilege of communicating feedbacks instantly to the designers. It facilitates inclusion and makes everyone a mutual author of the development.

4. Critical Thinking

This is an objective analysis of facts to generate a conclusion. It is self-disciplined, self-directed, self-corrective thinking and self-guided. It incorporates problem-solving abilities, practical communication skills, and the tenacity to surmount your native sociocentrism (a tendency of viewing the world from your cultural or social perspective) and egocentrism( failure to differentiate yourself from others). You can take a look at my other article to learn more: How to Develop Critical Thinking Skills and Think Clearer

5. Interactive Planning

Russell L. Ackoff defined it as establishing a future by creating a desirable present. Interacting Planning or IAP is a technique employed by project managers to engage relevant stakeholders, as well as subject matter experts. The engagement process includes a collective discussion of the project plan and the strategy to design a dependable, holistic, and an active project schedule. It is often called Participative Planning(PP). A notable benefit of this method is it helps everyone to understand the project scope and design a realistic schedule. It is also a conduit pipe for effective communication to flow. It is relevant in identifying critical milestones, constraints, and assumptions.

6. Force-Field Analysis

This analysis pinpoints the competing forces that surround an issue and employs brainstorming to discover the solutions. It was invented in the 1940s by Kurt Lewin. He initially utilized the technique in his project as a social psychologist. However, it has found relevance in the business environment. It is useful in establishing, sharing go, or no-go decisions. The concept of this technique is that circumstances are established via a balance between forces that drive disruption or change and the ones that resist it. The driving actors must be empowered to cause change, or the negating forces must be weakened. ((MindToolsVideo: Force Field Analysis ))

7. K-J Method

It is a technique that derived its name from its inventor, Jiro Kawakita. It is a facilitated session where participants highlight their priorities on a card, collate them collectively, and arrange them by relationship via individual voting. The objective of the method is to arrive at a consensus of valid information, especially in a group where individuals are bound to disagree. Here I'll just briefly describe how to implement it:((The KJ-Technique: A Group Process for Establishing Priorities))
  1. Gather five or more individuals together in a conducive room for 90 minutes. Give them markers and sticky notes.
  2. Establish a focused question that bothers on the project's requirement and assign a facilitator to oversee the exercise
  3. Allocate 5 minutes for writing three answers to the items on the notes.
  4. Allocate 15 minutes to participants to stick their answers on the board, read others' responses, and add to it. Guide them to cluster similar solutions without discussing them.
  5. Request participants to label each cluster individually. Make this mandatory. They can also segregate clusters.
  6. Put each name on the board cluster-by-cluster. Isolate duplicate words.
  7. Combine duplicate responses as long as the group agrees they are similar.
  8. Three or four teams will typically rank higher compared to others-those responses are relevant for the question.

8. Lateral Thinking

This technique is all about looking at a concept from different angles. It is a deliberate and systematic process. Check out the article Think Laterally to learn more.

10. Play to Innovate Method

Individuals and teams unlock their innate potentialities by going through a fascinating, play-like technique. This method harnesses the creative power of the brain using playfulness. Several people believe we work to sustain a living outside of work. We go through work and life without locating a means of staying happy. Play to innovate methods changes the ball game. It asks, " What if we adjust the work culture and provide reasons for people to work without monetary incentives. This hack examines making work playful while enjoying the benefits of creativity and innovation. ((Marko Rillo: Using Play to Innovate ))

10. SWOT Analysis

SWOT is an acronym that stands for Strength, Weakness, Opportunities, and Threats. You can find out more about this in How SWOT Analysis Turns Risks Into Opportunities.

How To Be More Creative If You’re Not Naturally Creative

Besides the above thinking methods, start trying the following ways to be more creative:

1. Distinguish Between Problem-Solving and Ruminating

It is helpful to think about approaches that will aid you in surmounting a challenge, but it is less productive to picture yourself unable to accommodate the pain. Anytime you are deliberating on a matter, take time out to see if you are problem-solving, or just ruminating. If the former, sustain the process. But if you are thinking about things you cannot control or that have occurred, it is a mere waste of time. Declutter your mind and allow your brain to focus on meaningful and productive activities.

2. Implement the Same Advice You Will Give a Confidant.

A lot of people find it easy to criticize themselves. Do you know that magnifying your weak points will only limit and drag you down? Research has linked self-compassion to emotional well-being. The NCBI research indicated that self-compassion affects every dimension of well-being. It enhances your self-esteem and activates your can-do spirit. ((NCBI: The influence of self-compassion on emotional well-being among early and older adolescent males and females)) Therefore, speak to yourself as you would talk to a friend.

3. Name-Tag Your Emotion

Most people, especially men, rarely talk about their feelings. Thus, a lot of people have created a gap between themselves and their feelings. This will only make it difficult for you to detect how you feel at any point in time. Most times, when you name-tag your feelings as adults, you do so using an indirect approach. You say something like, "I have butterflies in my stomach," when you are nervous. It is not a sin to acknowledge your feeling. Give those emotions names and identify how they can impact your decisions. Spend time each day to perform emotional acknowledgment exercise. If something bothers you, note it down instead of transferring aggression (the consequence of not taking charge of your emotion) on others.

4. Balance Your Feelings with Logic

Peradventure you are battling with a chronic disease or facing a difficult financial situation, you will make informed decisions when you can establish an equilibrium between your emotion and logic. Allow the rational part of you to lead when your emotion is attaining its peak. Another approach to step down your emotions is to identify the consequences of your actions. Perusing the list will enable you to minimize the influence of your emotions on your decision.

5. Practice Gratitude

Research has found out that gratitude-oriented people exhibit increased wellness. A deliberate focus on the good side of life will produce interpersonal and emotional benefits, including happiness. ((PsychologyToday: Science Proves That Gratitude Is Key to Well-Being)) Negative people can never be creative. Make a habit of listing what you are grateful for- the morning breakfast, the sunny weather, the green pasture, and many more. Practice journaling before retiring to bed. Allow your brain to reflect on the right things happening within and around you. Focusing on the sunny aspect of life will impact your wellness. Get more inspirations with these 32 Things You Should Be Grateful For.

6. Develop a Healthy Mentality

If you desire to attain a peak in life, educate your brain now and then. You need to train your brain for success by speaking positive and meaningful words.

Bonus: Crack Your Cocoon!

According to Bill Stainton, isolating ourselves from weird people, or what he called 'staying inside our cocoon' robs us of creative ideas that possess the highest capability to address our biggest challenges. It is by cracking your cocoon or embracing individuals and weird experiences that you will discover the link that leads to breakthrough ideas. ((TEDxStanleyPark: How to be a more creative person))

Bottom Line

Creativity is a seed of greatness. You can become great and significant only if you take the responsibility to train your brain for breakthrough ideas. There are many techniques to adapt to nurture your innate creativity to fruition. Find what works for you, and do not forget to crack your cocoon! Creativity can rub on you when you associate with creative people.

More to Boost Your Creativity



13 Ways Analytical Skills Help You Succeed At Work

Have you ever been in a job interview and were asked a question like, "Tell me about a problem you encountered and how you overcame it”? Did you ever wonder why these types of questions are even asked? It's because the employer is evaluating your analytical skills. Employers value employees with good analytical skills because they are seen as problem solvers. So, let's look at what analytical skills are, why they're important and the 13 most important analytical skills that will help you succeed at work.

What Are Analytical Skills?

Notice that hey are called analytical skills, not analytical talents. This is a very important distinction, as talent refers to a natural ability. A skill is something that can be learned or acquired. And just like any skill, analytical skills get better with time, repetition and practice. But what exactly are analytical skill? For our purposes analytical skills include the ability to:

Recognize and Pinpoint Problems

It's not enough just to recognize that a 20% return rate for a product is a problem. You need to pinpoint a reason for the problem by....

Researching and Collecting Data

This is not always as easy as it seems. There can be a lot of data out there. You need to be able to separate what's relevant from what's noise.

Analyze the Data Collected

This is part of separating what data is relevant and what's not. But it also involves being able to weight all of the relevant factors. For example, that 20% return rate could be due to a combination of manufacturing defects, poor customer education and shipping delays. But how much weight do each of these things carry?

Problem Solving/Critical Thinking

Once you have gone through the first three steps, you can now identify the steps needed to solve the problem. You should be able to propose solutions that have a high probability of a positive outcome. Now, in addition to these analytical skills, there are secondary skills that are just as important to your success. These include:

Communication

You could have the best analysis and recommendations in the world. But in order for it to be useful, you need to be able to communicate it effectively to a team, management or shareholders.

Implementation

It's important to have a plan to implement the solutions you are proposing. Just saying that the solution to a 20% return rate is to lower the number of manufacturing defects isn't really helpful. But saying that one hinge is causing the majority of the returns and here's a replacement. Now that's helpful.

Creativity

Sometimes pinpointing the problem is easy, but it's coming up with the solution that's difficult. Being able to look at the data and think "outside the box" is a skill that will really make you stand out. As an example, I once had a company that sold small fryers to bowling alleys, movie theaters and the like. They could make small batches of fries, chicken wings or mozzarella sticks for their customers. The problem was that the price tag was more than a lot of them could afford. Our solution was to partner up with a food distributor. We would give the fryers away for free, but they had to buy all of the food from our distributor. We then received a commission from the distributor for every chicken wing and mozzarella stick they sold. It was a win, win, win for everyone. All the analytical skills mentioned above are important and sought after by employers. They are part of a well-rounded workforce. So, how can you take these skills and make them work for you, your company and your career?

13 Ways Analytical Skills Help You Succeed at Work

1. Budgeting

Owners, managers and department heads all need to be able to create budgets for their departments, teams and projects. A good manager will use analytical skills to gather, analyze and interpret prior data in order to accurately forecast future budgetary requirements.

2. Making Your Ideas and Suggestions Stand Out

So, let's say that your boss has tasked you and three other department heads to come up with ways to increase efficiency. It's tempting to rely on your knowledge and experience to come up 3-4 ways to achieve the goal. Someone might suggest a bonus for completing assignments on time. Someone else may suggest a way to reschedule how a project gets assigned. But if you can be the one that comes in with concrete solutions backed up by verifiable research and data. You've immediately set yourself and our ideas apart for the rest.

3. Estimating and Bidding Projects

Whether you're a contractor going out and bidding million-dollar construction projects, or a web developer building websites, being able to accurately estimate and bid jobs is crucial. And it's only through analytical skills and experience that will keep you from losing money.

4. Collaboration

When working within groups or team, it's important that everyone has a clear understanding of four things:
  • What the problem is
  • What part of the solution they are responsible for
  • The time frame they have to solve it
  • What an acceptable outcome looks like.
This is the analytical approach to project management.

5. Comparison

There is no such thing as the "perfect" solution. And many times, a problem has more than one solution. Analytical skills allow you to evaluate the pros and cons of various scenarios in order to maximize the pros and minimize the cons.

6. Recognizing Correlations and Causations

We've all heard the phrase "correlation doesn't necessarily mean causation." And it's true. Did you know that an increase in ice cream consumption correlates to an increase in violent street crime? It's absolutely true, but ice cream consumption does not cause street crime. They are correlated because both increase in the summer, when it's hot and more people are outside. But you wouldn't want to address the problem of street crime by banning ice cream.

7. Proper Diagnosis

Having a good analytical skill set allows you to properly diagnosis problem or inefficiencies within the organization. The data may show that there is a problem in the manufacturing process, but it's the analysis of the data that points to the problem. Is the cause of the problem a design flaw, supplier issue, human error or quality control?

8. Human Resource Management

By using analytical skills, a manager or team leader can assess each individuals' strengths and weaknesses, thereby assigning tasks according to skill sets. It is also helpful in pointing out areas where additional or remedial training is needed.

9. Project Planning

Analytical skills allow us to break down a large project into its individual parts. Then, coordinate a synergistic corresponding timeline for the completion of the project. This, is the very definition of an analytical skill that can help you succeed at work.

10. Prioritizing

Whether it's taking on a new project or identifying problems or inefficiencies in a system, there is rarely a single issue involved. Most of the time, there are several steps in the process that need to be addressed. It's through analytical thinking that you can prioritize the problems you have identified. For example, you determine that your 20% return rate breaks down this way. 50% manufacturing defects, 25% from damage during shipping, 15% from poor customer education and 10% from from the design. We now can address these issues accordingly.

11. Recognizing Biases

Everyone has biases, and there is no way to eliminate them in discussions and decision making. The best you can do is to be aware of them in both yourself others and others. This is a skill that takes both self-discipline and self-awareness to master. There is a funny scene in the television show "The Office" where the boss Michael Scott has a surplus in his budget at the end of the year. Half of his staff want him to spend it on a new copier, and the other half wants him to buy new chairs for the office. Michael is torn, until he discovers that if he returns the surplus to corporate, he'll get a bonus of 25% of the surplus. Suddenly his self-interest has created a bias.

12. Process Analysis

This is especially helpful when there are systemic issues that are causing a problem. All too often we only see and address a problem by the result. The customer didn't like the way the website was built so we assume that it's a communication issue between our programmer and the customer. That's easy, but through process analysis, we may find that we assigned a retail website to a programmer who specializes in B2B websites. So, the real answer is to fix the process of assigning projects.

13. Reporting, Both Verbal and Written

Everyone in business has a boss, from the janitor all the way up to the chairman of the board. And reporting to those bosses is an ongoing process. From written status reports to individual and group meetings, supplying information to your superiors is a never-ending cycle. So, unless you are asked for a personal opinion, it's always best to have your thoughts and suggestions backed up by empirical evidence. Your opinions, suggestions and recommendations are going to be taken more seriously if you have the data to back them up.

How to Develop, Improve and Sharpen Your Analytical Skills

So, we've talked a lot about analytical skills, what they are and why they are valued by employers. But how do you learn these skills, how do you discern the pertinent data from the irrelevant? The answer is through a combination of education and experience. We'll start with education as a foundation, and then talk about how to get real life experience.

Education

Community colleges are a great place to start. Almost all community colleges.((The Best School: The 50 best community colleges in the United States )) have courses in business, business administration and statics. But in reality, you don't even need to go that far. With the advent of the internet, there are low cost accredited online courses that you can take in your spare time. YouTube is another great place for free educational videos on analytical skills and thinking. There are a wealth of videos on what analytical skills are, as well as practical ways to develop them. Finally, take advantage of professional training and courses offered through your place of work or trade organizations. These can be especially helpful as these programs are normally designed to be industry specific.

Experience

We've all heard the old saying that experience is the best teacher, and that's certainly true with learning analytical skills. There really is no substitute to putting in the 10,000 hours of repetition and practice to become an expert. But there are some things that you can do to start sharpening your skill immediately. Start playing brain games. There are a lot of them out there and you can start to train you mind to think analytically just by playing them just 15 minutes a day. A few of the more popular ones include, Wizard, Elevate and Brain Trainer Special,((WeForum: 8 apps to train your brain)) but there are many more. But, if you're not into apps or computer games, then chess and Sudoku are excellent choices too. Take notice and start questioning everything. When you get your morning coffee, notice how the place is set up. Where the customer places their order, where the workstations are, how the order moves through the system. Can you understand why the store is set up that way? Is it an efficient setup or can you see bottlenecks that reduce efficiency? What kind of solutions can you come up with to fix any problems? After a while, thinking like this will become second nature. Find a mentor. We said upfront that experience is the best teacher, but experience takes time. Finding a mentor who has the experience is the next best thing. In fact, having a mentor for your professional life can literally mean the difference between mediocrity and greatness. Having great mentors means that you are standing on the shoulders of giants.

Conclusion

Analytical skills can help you with every phase of your career, from helping you stand out from the crowd in the hiring process to advancing your career within an industry. And just like a good salesperson, having good analytical skills means that you'll always be in demand. But the key to improving your analytical skills lies in your desire to succeed. Developing and honing your skills can be done a variety of way as we discussed earlier. But it's up to you to make the decision and commitment to put the time and effort into developing analytical skills. You can start by giving yourself a basic foundation through courses, videos and industry training. Then practice, practice, practice. Soon, the whole process will become second nature to you and your value within the industry will skyrocket.

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