You think you have it all together, then suddenly one day, you don’t. You think you have the best in front of you, a road you selected with presumably no detours and then suddenly, you hit a wall. It can be discouraging when your best laid plans go awry but that wall is one you can bounce back from. It can seem impossible to bounce back; it can seem like this dead-end is permanent. Well, it’s not. It’s time to refocus your ambitions, your love life, your story, whatever ails you and to remake yourself. You have what it takes inside you. You have everything you need right here, right now, to abandon the path you were on and create a newer, better one. The light in you is meant to be seen, especially in the dark. When you hit that wall in life, you need only remember-- you have been through things before. You’ve gotten through them. You’ll get through this wall, too. You’ll overcome. You’ll beat the odds. You’ll make it. When you get there, don’t forget to look back every so often to see how far you’ve come. That’s your Why in the midst of making it through this. You’ve made it before. So you will again. It isn’t easy. But it can be done. No matter the circumstance, you have once choice in life: how you respond. That has to do with attitude. Greater attitude leads to greater character, meaning you will bounce back better when you take things in stride. Equip yourself with the following mentalities, and you will be free. Here are 13 things to remember when you hit the wall in life:
1. All You Need Is Inside You
When you are recovering from hitting your wall, you have to remember that you got yourself this far already. Everything you need to move forward, the drive, the
resilience, the will, is already inside you. You have the tools, the ability and the power to get through that wall to the other side. When you look within, you can realize your
self-worth. The outside world may disappoint us or let us down, but when you look to your own self for strength, there is nothing that you can’t do or accomplish or recover from.
2. Your Story Isn’t Over
Hitting a wall can feel like the end of life as you know it, and it may very well be. But just because one chapter of your life is coming to an end doesn’t mean your story is ending. What feels like a dead end is actually a new beginning. You have to adapt it to your story -- the story you are telling yourself in order to get through difficulties ahead; the story of you. You can’t turn back. You can’t pack up and just call it quits. You have to still find a way to move forward. It can be with the simple thought: “This doesn’t end here.” And it doesn’t. It won’t. Not if you don’t let it. Your story will keep going; in fact, it's meant to. All you have to do is live it. You won't love every second of it but in the end, you will have told it your way.
3. Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life
You can find what you need in the mentality to start over every day. Today is that day, the day you figure out what is most important to you. You find out how strong you really can be. You learn from the lessons of the detour or dead-end and, begin again. Appreciation of what you still have and can offer will keep you from feeling like a failure. Appreciate how far you’ve come already. See what is still left and what you can do. You’re still alive. You’re still breathing. Sometimes, that’s all we’ve got, and sometimes, that’s all we need.
4. Just Show Up
You’re not always going to be motivated to move past the wall, and you’re not always going to want to put your best efforts into a day. And that’s okay, as long as you show up. If you have no energy to solve the problem, just show up, even if you don’t know how it’s going to end. We don’t have to know every outcome in order to start solving problems. So, just show up. Just be there. Don’t expect any answers or insights. Don’t expect to see what the future holds. One thing is for sure -- there will always be obstacles but, so will be opportunities. You just need to show up in order to find them.
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” -- Martin Luther King Jr.
5. Find Your Fire
What ignites your soul? You need to harness that. Find your fire when you hit the wall. Burn right through it. Steve Jobs once gave a commencement speech at Stanford,((Standford:
Text of Steve Jobs’ Commencement Speech)) where he discussed “connecting the dots.” With each flame or passion for life, you begin to connect the dots. You start to discover what makes you tick, what moves you, especially in times where you feel you have nothing left. He says that when you follow your heart and intuition, you “somehow already know what you want truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” What sets you on fire? What can’t you live without doing, being or loving?
6. Pave the Way
You might have hit the wall, but somehow, somewhere, someone already paved the way for you to get as far as you have. And maybe, you’re paving the way for someone else. Find out who has accomplished what you are trying to do. Or who has opened doors to getting there. Realize you are next in line. You only need to realize that you are never alone. Great men and women have come before you. You just need to see them, to hear their voices, to find their strengths and utilize it for your own path.
7. Be Humbled
Be humbled by life’s twists and turns. You may think you have it all, then one day, you do not. It keeps us from taking it all for granted. You may lose what you think you’re supposed to become, but you’ll never lose what you’ve already done. Instead of getting angry, get humbled. See the world a whole new way. You weren’t meant for that path, so instead of turning around, turn it around. This one isn’t the easiest, because we want to feel capable of everything at all times. We want to soar with the wind beneath our wings. But it is finding out you can fail that you also find you have the power to start again. In failure, we find our truth, what truly defines us. Everything else is icing on the cake. So, be humbled. Be self disciplined. Be loyal to this life. When you hit the wall, be humbled. It is not easy, but it is worth it.
8. Start Again
Don’t waste this time wallowing in self pity. It’s time to start again when you hit the wall. You can only do so much while dragging your feet with your head down. You need to look up, stand tall, stand proud -- proud of the chance to start again. You don’t measure your success by how easy the path was. It was how you manoeuvred through things you needed to overcome. If everything came easy to you, you’d miss out on the meaning of it all. And that is a far greater loss. Your day is here for renewal, for becoming who you need to be. Life will change, that’s its constant, and so will you. If you stayed the same all your life, you would never grow. You need growth in order to change and be changed. Be open to renewal, for the rest to come naturally and focus on the greatest and most important change of all, the goodness of you finding an opportunity in this obstacle. You don’t need much other than that. You may think you do, but you are free when you acknowledge life’s simplicities and all their worth.
9 Stay Positive
It makes sense to become negative in the face of negativity. It feels natural to want to become defeated and depressed. But you're only sabotaging yourself.
"Change your thoughts, change your life."-- Wayne Dyer
Every day, make a
gratitude list. Say daily mantras in order to make peace with yourself. When you look around you, you'll want to think about the negative. Instead, train your mind to look for the positive. Repeat the positive that you find over and over again until it becomes natural to see it. Why does this work? Some could say the universe, some could say we change our brains in the habits we form, etc. but ultimately, it's about recognizing that not everything is what it seems. The brain automatically wants to pinpoint the negative. You can reprogram that by simply believing. Believe in the good. See the good. That's how it works. It's always been there. You just have to look.
10. Take Deep Breaths
Just because the walls in life can be opportunities for growth and new direction, that doesn’t mean they aren’t stressful. If you’ve hit a wall, you’re likely facing some hard times. It’s important to make time for
self care. Take it easy while you recover. Relax, refocus, and breath. Deep breaths. Focus on the negative leaving with your exhale, and focus on the positive returning on the inhale. Meditate on what matters. According to Meditation 101,((Meditation 101:
Techniques, Benefits and a Beginner’s How-To)) observe thoughts, do not judge them in mindfulness meditations. That way you can focus on your breath. An example of a meditation you can do is Mimi Page “Reflection": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZEdkZsaUQ8 There are a ton out there! Meditation can happen anywhere, anytime. It can be while stuck in traffic. It can be while waiting in line at the grocery store. Its' not just a practice. It's a mentality. One that can make all the difference.
11. Change Your Life
It’s time to learn that things aren’t working. So, what do you do? Stand there and stare at them? No, you make them move. You change your life. You change what isn’t working to make what is right come together. You only need to start with the small things and gradually tackle bigger things. All you need is inside you, remember? And all you need is to find your fire, your passions, to connect the dots. Don’t be a passive spectator in your life. Get proactive. Go for the win. When you hit the wall, you can learn how to climb over it. Dig your feet in and start to climb. Use whatever ledges you can find. Use what you have to pick yourself up. That's being resourceful. That's being
resilient. That's doing what is right.
12. Help Others Along the Way
There’s nothing more rewarding than to help someone else with something we have struggled with. What you give, you get back ten fold. It gives you a reason to right the wrongs in your life. It gives you a reason to turn the page to starting living the next chapter. When you help others, you become less afraid of the obstacle in front of you. You remember that you’re not alone. You’re alive, and that life is worth it. Others will inspire you with their own willpower, their own story. When you reach out and help someone, you make a difference. That means you have not been defeated yet. That means you must not give up. Helping others is recognizing a universal truth -- we all deserve love and light. You deserve to know what it’s like to have recognition, too. When you help others along the way, you realize this:
“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” -- Etienne de Grellet
13. Bounce Back
According to Dysheada Rheed,((Positive Psychology:
Resilience Theory: What Research Articles in Psychology Teach us)) resilience is the act of ‘bouncing back’ or resisting to cracking under pressure. There’s no going back. You’ve come this far, too far, to just give up. It’s time to bounce back. Furthermore, resilience is driven by two things:
- a strong why
- the ability to adapt
When you have a strong why, you are able to bounce back from the present problem. It does not mean you solve everything. In fact, it may mean you overcome simply because you keep going due to this why. For example, Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor, has said that if you have a strong enough why, you can “overcome any how.” When you are adaptable, you realize you can find gratitude in any situation. This is key to bouncing back when you hit the wall. You discover that you can not only face something, you can learn to work with it rather than against it. A great analogy is when one is stuck in a current, they should not start fighting against the current. They should go with the flow. This is how to surpass one’s circumstances and ensure survival.
Final Thoughts
You can be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do and love whoever and whatever you want to love. It’s time to be restored in all you are meant to be. It’s time to bounce back. It’s time to just be. Just trust. And you’ll find yourself on the other side of that wall, looking back thinking “I did that, that was me.” You’ll get through it. I know you will. Good luck.
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