50 Quotes About Setting Goals To Get Motivated And Inspired

Goals give meaning to life. They are meant to continually challenge you to put your talent, skills, creativity, time, resources, and opportunities towards achieving some tangible results for yourself, family, work, and your immediate environment. Reading quotes about setting goals can help to shape your thoughts and broaden your understanding of goals as you gain access to the thoughts of great minds - people who have mastered the art of goal setting and have become remarkably successful. Quotes will also help you to rethink your goals and put them in the proper perspective. By reading quotes about goals, you will find inspiration and motivation to set and achieve your own goals. Below are 50 quotes about setting goals that will give you the needed clarity and push to set and achieve your goals.

Quotes About Setting Goals

There are different things to be taken into consideration when setting your goals. First, you have to think about what you really want in life both in the short term and in the long term. You also have to set goals that are inspiring and will motivate you to take action. The following quotes will give you an idea of what you should know about goals and the kinds of goals you can set to make your life better.

“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” — Benjamin E. Mays

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“People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals - that is, goals that do not inspire them.”— Tony Robbins

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“Becoming a star may not be your destiny, but being the best you can be is a goal that you can set for yourself.” — Brian Lindsay

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“Goals are not only absolutely necessary to motivate us. They are essential to really keep us alive.” — Robert H. Schuller

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“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C. S. Lewis

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“To the person who does not know where he wants to go there is no favorable wind.” — Seneca

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“The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.” — Og Mandino

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“In life, the first thing you must do is decide what you really want. Weigh the costs and the results. Are the results worthy of the costs? Then make up your mind completely and go after your goal with all your might.” — Alfred A. Montapert

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“This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.” —Scott Reed

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“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” —Tony Robbins

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“A person should set his goals as early as he can and devote all his energy and talent to getting there. With enough effort, he may achieve it. Or he may find something that is even more rewarding. But in the end, no matter what the outcome, he will know he has been alive.” — Walt Disney

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“Goal setting is the secret to a compelling future.” —Tony Robbins

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“The thing about goals is that living without them is a lot more fun, in the short run. It seems to me, though, that the people who get things done, who lead, who grow and who make an impact… those people have goals.” —Seth Godin

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”— Albert Einstein

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“If you’re bored with life – you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals.” — Lou Holtz

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“In the absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.” — Author Unknown

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“Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.” — Brian Tracy

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“If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals.” — Lou Holtz

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“Rowing harder doesn’t help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction.” — Kenichi Ohma

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“Goals must never be from your ego, but problems that cry for a solution.” — Robert H. Schuller

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“We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, speech, April 2, 1957

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Quotes About Making Your Goals S.M.A.R.T

Achieving your goals depends a great deal on how you set them. It is a general rule in goal setting that goals should be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable/Attainable, Realistic/Relevant, and Time-related. When you take the above criteria into consideration in setting your goals, you would have made a framework that will make your goals work. Here are some quotes that will inspire you to make your goals S.M.A.R.T.

“A goal properly set is halfway reached.” —Zig Ziglar

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“Stop setting goals. Goals are pure fantasy unless you have a specific plan to achieve them.” —Stephen Covey

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“Begin with the end in mind.” —Stephen Covey

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“Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground.” —Theodore Roosevelt

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“Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent return on energy!” —Brian Tracy

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“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso

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“Goals are dreams with deadlines.” —Anonymous

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Quotes About Lofty Goals

Goal setting can appear to be some form of fantasy when you realize that you are setting goals that are way beyond your current status, abilities, or resources that you can ever think of. However, experts say that the lofty goals really are the kinds of goals that you should set. When you have big dreams, you don’t have to get scared or get carried away, you only have to create the roadmap that will lead you to your goal. The following quotes will show you how to dream big and how to turn your big dreams into reality.

“You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” —Steve Garvey

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“One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.” —Michael Korda

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“You should set goals beyond your reach so you always have something to live for.” —Ted Turner

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“If we have a goal and a plan, and are willing to take risks and mistakes and work as a team, we can choose to do the hard thing.” —Scott Kelly

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“I would encourage you to set really high goals. Set goals that, when you set them, you think they're impossible. But then every day you can work towards them, and anything is possible, so keep working hard and follow your dreams.” —Katie Ledecky

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“I have short goals - to get better every day, to help my teammates every day - but my only ultimate goal is to win an NBA championship. It's all that matters. I dream about it. I dream about it all the time, how it would look, how it would feel. It would be so amazing.” —LeBron James

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“Most “impossible” goals can be met simply by breaking them down into bite-size chunks, writing them down, believing them, and then going full speed ahead as if they were routine.” —Don Lancaster

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“Though we may have desires or bold goals, for whatever reason, most of us don't think we can achieve something beyond what we're qualified to achieve. Why, I ask, do we let reality interfere with our dreams?” —Simon Sinek

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“Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager. Cut your major goals into bite-sized pieces. Each small priority or requirement on the way to ultimate goal becomes a mini goal in itself.” —Denis Waitley

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“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” —Steve Jobs

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“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” ― Henry David Thoreau

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“Impossible is just a word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” —Muhammad Ali

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“The only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.” — Michelle Obama

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“Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the kind of person who can.” — Anonymous

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“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” —Michelangelo

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Quotes About Achieving Your Goals

From the moment you set your goals, obstacles will begin to arise to make your goals unachievable. However, with motivation, determination and the right set of skills, you can maneuver any situation that might come along the path of achieving your goals. Here are some insights on what you should expect and how you can always get to achieve your goals despite obstacles.

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” —Confucius

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“Your ability to communicate is an important tool in your pursuit of your goals, whether it is with your family, your co-workers or your clients and customers.” —Les Brown

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“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” —Zig Ziglar

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“Write your goals down in detail and read your list of goals every day. Some goals may entail a list of shorter goals. Losing a lot of weight, for example, should include mini-goals, such as 10-pound milestones. This will keep your subconscious mind focused on what you want step by step.” —Jack Canfield

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“Every day you spend drifting away from your goals is a waste not only of that day, but also of the additional day it takes to regain lost ground.” —Ralph Marston

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“If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it's moving you away from your goals.” —Brian Tracy

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“Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal.” —Brian Adams

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Final Thoughts

When your goals become your compass in life, you will never find yourself in a direction that you do not intend for yourself. When you pursue your goals with all vigor, you will find that there is nothing you aim for in life that will not come within your reach. It may take longer than you have planned and might not come in the exact shape, size or magnitude that you intended but, you will definitely make great progress and experience success more than you have ever imagined.

More Motivational Quotes

• 40 Powerful Productivity Quotes From Highly Successful People
• 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life's Challenges
• 30 Most Inspirational Quotes of All Time

7 Simple but Sure Ways to Eliminate Bad Attitudes

Attitude is life, and how you manage your attitudes matters. One proven way to eliminate bad attitudes is to adopt these seven proven strategies and to shift your paradigm the Bob Proctor Way. Did you know that your perspective about life determines your outcomes in life? Bad attitudes are virtual guarantees that life will be burdensome and less satisfying than it ought to be. If you are pessimistic about your relationships, business, career, health, and personal development, it will affect what you make out of every opportunity that comes your way. What you need is to eliminate the bad attitudes that are destroying you.

What Is a Bad Attitude?

A bad attitude is a feeling, manner, or disposition that is not cooperative, optimistic or constructive. Have you ever wondered why people with bad attitudes are not usually happy? People with bad attitudes are described as:((Your Dictionary: Words That Describe Negative Attitudes))

“Aggressive, arrogant, belligerent, blunt, callous, critical, cynical, dishonest, distant, envious, guarded, hostile, indifferent, intolerant, pessimistic, prejudiced, prideful, resentful, rude, sad, selfish, suspicious, unemotional, untrusting.”

What Are the Effects of Bad Attitudes?

Now that we've gone through some words used to describe people with bad attitudes, we can look at the effects of this kind of outlook. Bad attitudes can hinder you from developing the right perspective about life. They can also prevent you from maximizing those things that bring joy. They can become the very limitation that blocks you from maturing and learning coping strategies for life's challenges.They can limit you from attempting new things that may be exciting. People with bad attitudes may end up lonely, depressed, and stressed.

What Are the Causes of Bad Attitudes?

People with bad attitudes usually experience situations and people in unpleasant manners. While some studies indicate that a bad attitude is a component of temperament, some therapists affirm there's a learned aspect that is reinforced by your habits. A child who is highly sensitive to physical, as well as emotional discomfort, for example, may tend to develop bad attitudes. But at the same time, your environment can shape your habits and train you to be more realistic about life.((Exploring Your Mind: 5 Tips for Dealing with Highly Temperamental People)) Not everyone is born to exhibit bad attitudes. They can be learned and can be taught by a parent. For instance, any parent that exhibits a bad attitude is by default modeling this perspective or habit in their children. This makes the children learn pessimism by modeling their parents. Bad attitudes can also stem from life experiences — a history of failure, abuse, or trauma, despite your input.

How Do You Eliminate Bad Attitudes?

1. Remove Negativity in Your Life

You need to be responsible for what you do. Take control of your life as you internally engineer those negative circumstances. Eliminate every condescending thought and establish an atmosphere of positivity by taking responsibility for your actions. For instance, if you are not getting 5-star feedback on a project, it's not because the client does not like you. It may be related to your performance on the job. You can communicate with him or her on how you can optimize your quality instead of blaming him or her. That way, you will be making positive changes. Negative thoughts produce negative actions. If you want to exhibit a good attitude, you will need to cultivate good habits.

2. List the Bad Attitudes and Make Every Effort to Change Them

There's a secret behind listing the attitudes that hold you back from taking charge of your life. Don't just write a list; burn it to symbolize that you're letting the bad attitudes go. On a piece of paper, highlight any habit or attitude that you consider bad. Read the list and check off those things you can change. For instance, you can disconnect yourself from abusive relationships, or you can save money to resolve a financial issue. As soon as you have thought of how to change that habit from bad to good, burn the list and write down the new things you want to experience in your life. You need to let go of the old for the new to come!

3. Let Go of Expectations

A bad attitude typically begins with an expectation of yourself or others. You want to please yourself or others, so you establish unrealistic expectations. When you fail to meet an unrealistic expectation, it will create a bad attitude and a negative environment. You need to accept that there's no perfect condition. Imperfection is a component that makes life beautiful and helps us to form a good character. When you fail, move on and imagine what it will be like to succeed. Also, if someone says you are not good enough, understand that nothing is wrong with you. Overlook it and let it go. When you linger on a negative thought, it will only produce bad attitudes. Practice mindfulness and meditation to free your mind of things you cannot control and do not hold on to bad experiences. Meditation can help you eliminate any bad attitude.

4. Forgive

You need to forgive not only yourself but others. Sometimes, you may complain about how your imperfections and bad attitudes have wrecked your dream of becoming exceptional in life. Languishing in this thought and holding grudges will also empower a bad attitude. The ability to forgive will help you focus on the positive things around you. Forgiveness is the enemy of bad attitudes. It creates room for good attitudes. Not only that, it will minimize stress and increase your joy, peace, and prosperity in life.

5. Avoid Negative People

You cannot exhibit good attitudes by having negative people around you. Have you noticed that great individuals don't keep company with those who would hold them back or bring them down? For example, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Ben Carson, Richard Brandson, and others? I have! The people you share your time with have a major impact on your attitudes. If you want to eliminate bad attitudes, you will need to start by eliminating negative people from your sphere of influence. If it's difficult to remove an individual to avoid hurting the person, you can limit exposing yourself to that person. You can also nullify his or her bad attitudes by highlighting and emphasizing the positive in what he or she says or does. This approach will prevent you from being dragged down a negative path.

6. Respond to Change

Negative emotions usually go hand in hand with change. The best way to manage change is to respond. While you don't have the power to control every situation or person, you can choose to respond to them, and not react. For instance, when someone drops a nasty comment on your social media post, don't react to that comment immediately. Come up with a response, then wait for 24 hours before responding. In that time, you will possibly decide to tone down your response. That way, you can deescalate any tension. If your employer retrenches you, or you have a project terminated, thank your boss for that opportunity and say, "Working with you has made me a better person. This is a chance to discover something that I am passionate about."

7. Help Others

Life becomes meaningful when you make an impact on the lives of others. Helping others can help you change some bad attitudes and give you a new paradigm for life. You will become more positive when you see the results that come from you reaching out to solve the problems of others. For example, you can volunteer in a local school or library or help friends and family members over the weekend. When you help others, they feel good, which in turn makes you feel good. A life that is built on giving love and support will manifest a good attitude.

Bonus: Shift Your Paradigm the Bob Proctor Way

According to Bob Proctor, the Chairman and Co-Founder of the Proctor Gallagher Institute:

"Paradigm is a collection of habits that are locked up in your subconscious mind."

To change your paradigm, you need to follow the same pattern in which it was created - via repetition of information. Also, you need to realize that before you can shift your paradigm, you will have to consciously and deliberately substitute bad attitudes with good attitudes. Bob recommends that you begin the process by selecting some new beliefs that align with the new attitude or good habits you want to form. Replace the old habits and belief system in your subconscious mind with these new ones. You can actualize this through positive affirmation. You can use positive words to mirror the new attitude you want to form and read the statement aloud. For example: "I am so excited and grateful that opportunities abound in my life via multiple streams of income continually. I know how to make, manage, and multiply money." Another strategy he recommends is to create a mental picture of you exhibiting those good attitudes. He calls it "visioneering." Practice this technique daily and consistently, and you can eliminate any bad attitude once and for all.((Paradigm Shift: An in Depth Explanation ))

Conclusion

Only those who work on their habits can develop good attitudes that become significant in their lives. The impact of a bad attitude affects not just you, but others. But with these proven strategies on how to eliminate bad attitudes, you can become a better person and a force of reckoning in your sphere of influence.

More Ways to Achieve a Positive Attitude

• How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative
• 5 Tips on How to Change Your Attitude for the Better
• 10 Ways to Greatly Improve Your Attitude
• 11 Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude

How to Relax Your Mind When Stressed (The Simple Guide)

Do you ever feel stressed and overwhelmed by things going on in your life? Most of us do from time to time. Stress is a normal part of life. It is actually a survival mechanism to protect us from dangerous situations. The problem arises when we don’t know how to relieve it, and the stress persists. Here we are going to look at why we have chronic stress, and then I’ll show you how to relax your mind with some simple practices. You’ll see for yourself that a peaceful mind is well within your reach, no matter how stressed out you may be.

Benefits of Relaxing Your Mind

The main benefit of relaxing your mind is that it relieves stress. By calming your mind, you’ll feel less overwhelmed by your emotions, which can make you feel like you’re losing control. By calming your mind, you also avoid many of the health consequences of stress, such as high blood pressure, depression, and fatigue. A peaceful mind will improve your mood by reducing anger and frustration, and also improve your confidence in handling life’s problems.((Health Direct: Relaxation and mental health)) Overall, you’ll feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Why We Have Trouble Relaxing Our Mind

I often hear people say, “I can’t stop my mind from racing.” They are usually busy people whose lives are filled with commitments and activities. They have demanding jobs and families to take care of. Sometimes, they are young people with goals and ambitions. There’s nothing wrong with these scenarios. They are normal courses in our lives. The challenge is to find a balance between our commitments to others and our personal needs, and one of those needs is relaxation. A busy life tends to overstimulate our mind. Basically, anything that touches any of our five senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell) will trigger a chain of thoughts. So, all our activities are continuously stimulating our mind. And if we’re really busy, then we can experience sensory overload, which leads to a racing mind and stress.

Reframing Our Views About Relaxation

Another reason we have trouble relaxing our mind is our unconscious views about relaxation. Ask anybody about his views about relaxation, and he’ll probably tell you it is a good thing, and people should take the time to relax regularly. Then, ask him if he actually does that. Chances are he doesn’t. It’s much like people’s views about exercising. They know it’s good for them, but they have a hard time practicing it. The reason is that our subconscious mind tells us something different. Our subconscious mind tells us things like: “I don’t have time to relax.” “I have more important things to do.” “I need to be productive.” “I don’t know how to relax my mind.” “I’m the type of person who can’t sit still.” These subconscious beliefs are very strong, and they dictate our actions. So, if we want to change these beliefs, then we need to reprogram our subconscious mind. That may sound difficult, but it’s not. You can easily do it with a technique called writing meditation. With writing meditation, you simply copy a set of affirmations by hand in a notebook for about five minutes a day. You can do it at any time and any place. You don’t even need a quiet place. After a few days, you’ll notice a change in your behavior. It will become easier to dedicate time to relaxing your mind. Here is the relaxation writing meditation: I realize that I deserve to have peace of mind. I know that with a peaceful mind I will be happier, more productive, and make better choices in my life. May I live in a way that doesn’t overstimulate my mind. May I reduce unnecessary background noise around me. May I take some time everyday to relax and settle down. May I have the strength to follow other relaxation practices to further calm my mind. I commit to relaxing my mind, so that I may realize true happiness and personal fulfillment. In order to get the most benefit from this exercise, I suggest doing it once a day for about 3 to 4 weeks, or however long it takes for you to make relaxation a priority in your life.

How to Relax Your Mind

How to relax your mind is pretty simple. The suggestions below will accomplish two things:

• They will prevent your mind from getting too agitated in the first place.
• They will allow your mind to settle down naturally.

You are free to choose any of them. Your choice will depend on how agitated your mind is. If it’s highly agitated, then you’ll want to start with some simple suggestions, such as closing your eyes for a few seconds. Then as you begin to relax over time, you may want to try something for deeper relaxation, such as meditation. Here are some simple practices for how to relax your mind.

1. Listen to Soothing Music

Soft music can go a long way toward relaxing your mind. The slow pace of the music will force your mind to slow down. There is a variety of different relaxation music on YouTube. Find something like a dreamscape with the sounds of nature.

2. Take a Walk

Going for a walk can help us clear our mind from all the clutter. It gets us away from the things that are agitating our mind, and helps us put things into perspective.

3. Make a Gratitude List

We often tend to focus on the things that we don’t have in our lives. This can be depressing, and keep us striving for those things we believe are missing. Take about five minutes to write down the things you are grateful for. This will help reprogram your subconscious mind, and put you more at ease. Get some inspirations here: 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

4. Find Some Alone Time

It’s important to have some time for yourself. Take some time regularly to get away from everybody, and do something you enjoy, such as reading a good book, or watching your favorite program.

5. Cuddle with a Loving Pet

Studies have shown that some pets can have a great calming effect. They help take our mind to a place of simplicity and unconditional love.

6. Turn Your Cell Phone Off

Our cell phones are a great source of mental agitation. Is it really necessary to be connected to other people all the time? Turn your cell phone off for a while, if not hours. Most people in our lives can survive without us being on call. Next are some really simple things you can do at any time, without taking much time from your busy schedule.((Greatist: 40 Ways to Relax in 5 Minutes or Less)) They are meant to interrupt the acceleration of your mind. They also bring you back to the present moment, which is the essence of mindfulness.

7. Close Your Eyes

Just close your eyes for a few seconds. You can even follow your breath if you want. This will help reduce some of the sensory stimulation.

8. Laugh

I personally enjoy funny social media posts, or reliving funny sitcom scenes. Laughing gives us a short break from serious issues.

9. Smell the Flowers

Flowers are nature’s work of art. They come in all shapes and sizes and scents. Stop once in a while to admire their beauty and fragrance. Don’t neglect the tiny ones. They too have great beauty.

10. Get Some Sunlight

Sunshine can have a tremendous calming effect. Go outside for a few minutes during your break. Sit on a bench, close your eyes, and just enjoy the warmth of the sun.

11. Look out the Window

If you’re not able to go outside, gazing out the window for a couple of minutes can be almost as good. Look at the trees, birds, and any other critters you can spot. And don’t just look at the immediate area, but also look into the distance. If you are serious about how to relax your mind, the following practices will help you achieve a deeper state of relaxation.

12. Reduce Noise and Activity

If you live a busy life, there is probably a lot of noise and activity around you. Try reducing some of the background noise, such as TV and radio when you’re not fully engaged with them.

13. Relax Physically

Physical relaxation will help calm your mind. There are various ways to relax physically, such as stretching, practicing tai chi or yoga, or taking a warm bath. You can even listen to a guided meditation with a body scan.((Very Well Mind: How to Relax Your Body and Mind))

14. Talk to a Friend

We often have things going on in our mind because we’re not able to fully make sense of them. Sometimes, just talking to someone else will help us sort them out.((VeryWellMind: How to Relax Your Stressful Thoughts))

15. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

This is a powerful and diverse practice that can significantly calm your mind. In addition to doing sitting meditation, you can also do mindful breathing, mindful walking, and guided imagery. Take a look at the different types of meditation and see which one is suitable for you: 17 Types of Meditation (Techniques and Basics) to Practice Mindfulness

16. Exercise

Physical exercise can help you get your mind off your problems, and calm your thoughts and emotions.((Very Well Mind: How Physical Exercise Benefits Mental Health)) It also gives you a greater sense of well-being by increasing your brain’s production of endorphins, the neurotransmitters that make you feel good.((MayoClinic: Exercise and stress: Get moving to manage stress))

Final Thoughts

As you can see, relaxing your mind is fairly simple. It is mainly a matter of reducing the things that agitate your mind, and taking some time to allow it to settle down naturally. Just imagine what your life will be like with a peaceful mind. Things will become much clearer, you’ll make better choices, and you’ll feel more in control of your emotions and your life. All this is well within your reach. All you have to do is follow some of the simple practices outlined above.

More Tips to Help You Relax Your Mind

• The Importance of Scheduling Downtime
• 6 Relaxation Techniques to Calm Your Busy Mind
• 3 Deep Breathing Exercises to Relax and Reduce Stress

Why FOMO is Addictive and How to Overcome It

What is FOMO? The official definition of FOMO is:

Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.

But I don't need to tell you what the definition is, you have all experienced how it feels when your friends are on social media doing something and you aren't. Missing out on all those jokes, adventures and plans. Feeling excluded. We have all felt the gnawing anxiety of FOMO as it ruins our once happy moods with envy and sadness. Even if we got invited. Even if we turned down going to this event simply because we didn't want to. Even if we couldn't think of anything worse to be doing. FOMO does not discriminate. FOMO worms it's way into your mindset and sets of that anxiety that makes you breathe just a little faster. So why do we fear missing out? In this article, you'll learn more about the causes of FOMO and what you can do to deal with it.

Why Do We Fear Missing Out?

Simply, because we are humans. We are social creatures and most importantly, pack animals. To be socially included is a survival instinct. If we were rejected by our pack, we were left out to the elements to die so it is biologically programmed into us to want to be included and be a part of the pack. Since the days of being a cave humans, our societies have drastically progressed since then. Social rejection doesn't mean death anymore, it is more death to the ego than actual death. But since the rise of Social Media, our primal FOMO has resurfaced because all the things we could be doing to be included are shoved in our face 24/7. Life isn't one long party, in between the parties and fun adventures, there is mundane, routine life! And while our routine, mundane life can be wonderful, we still get insecure that our life isn't perceived as interesting and that is thanks to Social Media.

How FOMO Affects Our Lives

40 years ago, FOMO wasn't that much a problem because long distance communication wasn't great. Instead of having 500 hundred friends, we have a few friends that were nearby and if they were doing something, we had no idea and therefore, were not triggered to feel FOMO. Unless someone rubbed it in your face that you weren't there, then we felt left out. But now, social media dominates our lives with everyone's exciting highlights reel bombarding our minds. We always make the assumption that everyone else's life is so much fuller and more exciting than our own.

Information Overload

Thanks to advancing technology, we are subjected to huge amounts of information constantly and it is too much for our brain. We can't tell what person has done what, it all kind of blurs into one and that one person is everyone. Everyone is doing all this cool stuff, all the time, 24/7 and you aren't. All this information is emotionally and mentally overwhelming us and it is exhausting. FOMO is a cyclic compulsion that we can't quit. We are addicted to distraction, using social media as a mental break, in doing so making ourselves feel bad from FOMO and so we scroll more. We are addicted to social media and we are not good at practicing good social media health. As much as I would like to blame social media giants for creating platforms that are designed to be addictive, we are the ones that open the app, scroll and feed the addiction everyday. We are the ones that don't unfollow bad channels, bad people and negativity. In real life, if someone doesn't bring you happiness and joy, you avoid them and you avoid all communication with them. But you still have them as a facebook friend, you have unfollowed them in real life but not in your virtual life which is in many ways worse. So what is the result of this overwhelming information and lack of proper social media care? Your mental health is in tatters. FOMO has a detrimental effect on our mental health, causing mood swings, loneliness, feelings of inferiority, reduced self-esteem, anxiety and depression.((Economics Time: How FOMO is affecting your mental health, and needs to be addressed))

Overwhelm

You see all these things happening around you and you feel overwhelmed by the huge amount of things going on without you. There are so many avenues to go down and you don't have the time, energy or resources to all of these things. Even if we did one of them, there will always be 10,000 more things that other people are doing and we feel insignificant.

Fear

Specifically, fear of exclusion. You feel excluded and therefore afraid on a base level, like if you missed out on this one thing, you will be excluded forever and therefore, fear for your survival in a social group.

Self Hate

We feel uninteresting, boring and average. Fearing that we will be perceived as boring if we don't attend all the social events, even if we didn't want to go. We instinctively care about what people think of us and we use this information to bully ourselves. Making us anxious and depressed, which in turn, makes us anxious at social events so we can't have fun.

Being Set in a Comparison Mindset

The comparison mindset is a cancer that ruins your life. We love to compare ourselves to others to work out where we are on the scale of success, because we love succeeding and progressing. It is in our nature. But the comparison mindset only leads to self hate because we are finding reasons we aren't succeeding and we bully ourselves about it. Don't compare yourself to anyone because you aren't comparable in any form. No one has walked your life, not even an identical twin and no one has what you have. Instead of bullying yourself for your lacks, focus on your blessings and express gratitude for it. Learn more about the comparison mindset here: The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves

How to Overcome FOMO

FOMO kills happiness. Comparison is the thief of joy and as we compare our lives to those on social media, even though we cannot be compared because our lives are so beautifully different. So what can we do to overcome it?

1. Know That Social Media Isn't Reality

Understand that social media isn't reality, there are so many posts of happy cheerful faces doing something cool and being included. But it doesn't tell the story of the person who is smiling through gritted teeth because really, they didn't want to be there.

2. Embrace JOMO

JOMO is the Joy In Missing Out. When you feel the tugs of comparison and fear, just remind yourself of your worth and take a moment to show gratitude to what you are doing right now. What you are doing right now is someone else's dream. Practice gratitude and remind yourself that just because something else is happening without you, doesn't mean they you aren't important.

3. Reassurance

Reassuring yourself that just because something is happening doesn't mean that your worth is affected in anyway. FOMO is caused by a instinctual fear for survival. The best way to deal with a fear is to reassure yourself that you are safe and you are physically, emotionally and mentally are safe. You are still interesting, important and full of worth.

4. Ask Yourself, "Did You Really Want to Be There?"

Seriously, did you really want to be there? I know the travel FOMO when someone is on a warm beach in living Bali with the beautiful yoga poses and you feel the FOMO. But ask yourself, do you really want that life? It isn't as great as instagram makes it seem. Also, we get FOMO from parties and events that if we were there, we would hate. We often just want to be seen doing something so we feel cool so people will think we are interesting, which leads to.

5. Try Not to Care What People Think of You

This one isn't so easily done but it shouldn't matter what people think of you. You shouldn't spend your life trying to get favorable opinions from people who wouldn't turn up to your funeral. I have written a previous article on how to stop caring about what other people think of you here: How to Stop Caring What People Think and Focus on Your Needs

6. See the Larger Picture

We sit there and torture ourselves on all the things that we are missing out on. The reality is, in your entire life, this one thing that is making you feel the FOMO is a grain of sand in the ocean. In less than 24 hours, it won't matter to you at all, so don't let it ruin your day because in your whole life, it is nothing.

7. Make More Plans

If you feel FOMO because you feel like you aren't doing much with your life, go and do something. You are the master of your life. If you feel like you are being left out, go to more events with people. Alternatively, if you are an introvert like me, try a class, learn a new skill, book a flight, go on a walk, cut your hair. Go do things while you still can! Life is short so fill it with adventure!

8. Self-Care

Check in with your emotions more and take better care of yourself. Take time each day to sit and watch the rain with a cup of tea or meditate, nap, go for a short walk. Spend some time not connected to the internet so your brain has a moment to play catch up and rest. Try some of these 40 Self Care Techniques To Rejuvenate And Restore Yourself.

9. Clear up Your Social Media

Get rid of anything that makes you feel sad, down or depressed on social media. Make sure your social media is a place of positivity and happiness. The benefit of social media is you can unfollow people but not unfriend them. In this way, you can stop listening to their opinions all day without hurting their feelings.

10. Be Excited for Other People

If you see someone who is on holiday and you feel the FOMO, you don't have to unfollow them or throw shade. Be happy for them. Be grateful for where you are right now and the adventures you have had. Be happy for all these people who are living amazing fun lives and know that it has nothing to do with you.

Final Thoughts

FOMO is a mindset that makes us feel anxious, depressed and most commonly, boring and uninteresting. But that couldn't be further from the truth. FOMO is only going to get more and more difficult as more of our lives go online, so I hope these techniques can help you overcome FOMO more easily.

More Tips about Mental Strength

• The 5-Step Guide to Self Care for Busy People
• How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others & Celebrate Your Uniqueness
• How to Turn Your Fear of Missing Out into a Joy of Missing Out

How to Handle a Cheating Spouse

When a person gets married, they hope to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. That’s how all the Disney movies and romantic comedies portray marriage, right? But unfortunately, for many people, it doesn’t work out that way. Most couples start out crazy in love, and they think that feeling will last forever. Even if they know that feeling of infatuation may wear off, they at least expect to have a loyal partner by their side for the rest of our lives. Sure, some couples do live happily ever after. There are little old couples walking around hand-in-hand just as in love as the day they met. But for many, that is not their story. If a marriage goes downhill over the years, there can be many reasons. It could simply be because they have grown apart, or because they focused too much on raising children and forgot to nurture each other. Or, it could be the reason many people dread the most – cheating.

What is Cheating?

This may seem like an obvious question, but in today’s world, it is not as clear-cut. Usually, people think of physical indiscretions when they think of cheating. This could be anything from hand-holding to kissing to full-out sex. That’s the easy way to describe cheating. But there’s another kind of cheating where there is a little more gray area, and that is emotional cheating. The problem with emotional cheating is that many people have different standards for it, which we will discuss in a moment. Regardless, most people expect their partner to remain emotionally loyal to them, and to not get too close to another person.

The Gray Area

Here are some examples of behaviors that might fall into the “gray area” for some people. In other words, some people might consider these cheating, while others may not.

1. Flirting or romantically teasing another person
2. Talking to or meeting with your ex(es)
3. Texting other people too much
4. Touching or grabbing other people
5. Buying presents for other people
6. Going out with others too often
7. Talking to a person (or people) online too often
8. Engaging in pornography
9. Going out on a “date” (or date-like activity) with someone else
10. Going to clubs and dancing/grinding with other people
11. Asking other people for their phone numbers

As you can see, some of these are worse than others. Some people might not care about the above behaviors (or even notice), while others might see them as all-out cheating. It’s all a matter of perspective. Even if these don’t involve any sort of physical contact, many people do consider these things a betrayal to their relationships, and thus, “cheating.”

Signs of Cheating

If you suspect that you have a cheating spouse, how can you catch them? How can you know for sure that it’s not just “all in your head?” That’s a huge issue for many people. They go back and forth about it. Sometimes they think their mind is playing tricks on them, but other times, they are totally convinced that their spouse is cheating. The best thing to do is to keep a record of their behaviors. Record the dates, times, and any other relevant information. This serves two purposes: first, it helps you put it into perspective and realize that it’s not all in your head. Second, when you finally confront your cheating spouse, you have “evidence” to present them with. If you don’t have that, they might try to play mind games with you and deny their behaviors, making you think that you’re just making it all up. Here are some pretty common signs that you might have a cheating spouse:

1. They are hiding their phone from you or guarding it particularly well (especially if this is a change from past behavior)
2. They start dressing better or losing weight (the assumption is that they are trying to impress someone else)
3. There are frequent times when they are “unavailable” and you can’t reach them
4. There’s no more intimacy in your relationship, or it has decreased suddenly
5. If you question if they’re cheating, they get emotional and accuse you of being crazy
6. They “overshare” and give an abnormal amount of details about their whereabouts or what they are doing (liars tend to give too much information)
7. They’re going out with “friends” more than usual
8. They’re “working late” more than normal

These are just a few of the countless signs that someone is cheating. Each person is different, so if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, but it’s not on the list above, then pay attention to that. Our gut feelings are usually right. Can cheating be prevented? It can be possible: 10 Ways to Prevent Cheating in a Relationship

Can a Marriage Survive Cheating?

So, let’s say that you catch your spouse cheating. Maybe she or he admitted to the cheating, or maybe not. Regardless, most people wonder if a marriage can ever survive cheating. This is not an easy question to answer, because each individual and couple has their own limits and standards. For example, I know some people who would not tolerate even the smallest indiscretion and would be asking for a divorce right away. But then, there are others who will tolerate way more than they should. It all comes down to your own standards and boundaries.

The Social Exchange Theory

There is a theory of interpersonal communication called the Social Exchange Theory. In essence, is says that we weigh rewards against the costs of being in a relationship. We will stay in a relationship as long as the rewards outweigh the costs. However, once the costs outweigh the rewards, then we will leave the relationship. The problem is, what qualifies as a “reward” and what qualifies as a “cost?” It’s different for everyone.

Reclaiming Happiness

Sure, a couple can stay married after one (or both) of them cheats. However, does that mean they will be happy and that it won’t happen again? No, of course not. I think when most people ask the question of whether or not a marriage can survive cheating, what they are really asking is: Can the couple go back to how they were in the beginning and be happy again? It can happen, but it’s relatively rare. In order for the couple to get back to a truly happy, loving, and healthy relationship, several things need to happen: First, the cheating spouse needs to really, really, really understand the pain that s/he caused their spouse. And the other spouse needs to know that the cheating spouse is very, very remorseful – so much so that they will never do it again! Second, the cheating spouse needs to be patient with their partner. Getting over a betrayal such as cheating does not happen overnight. It takes a long time. Third, the cheating spouse needs to prove themselves again. They have to have consistent, trustworthy behavior over a long period of time in order for their partner to trust them again. Finally, going to therapy will certainly help the couple move forward. Many couples simply can’t do it by themselves, and that's okay. Read more about understanding your partner's actions: Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

Rebuilding Trust After Cheating

As I just mentioned, finding a good therapist will definitely help when you are in the trust-rebuilding process. In addition to that, here are some other steps that can be taken in order to try to restore the bond you once had with your partner:

1. Keep the lines of communication open at all times.
2. Share passwords to phones, computers, and email and social media accounts.
3. Always be available when your partner calls or texts.
4. Spend quality time together going on dates and getting to know each other again.
5. The cheating spouse needs to continually acknowledge their indiscretion and take responsibility.
6. The cheating spouse also needs to stay true to their word and keep promises.
7. Put your partner’s needs before your own.
8. Both people need to be able to openly share their emotions and thoughts with one another.

Final Thoughts

Finding out that you have a cheating spouse is not something that anyone ever wants to deal with. However, it does happen, and it is worth it to know how to move forward if it happens to you. The bottom line is this: do you want to try to work it out or not? Sometimes it’s best to step away, separate, and move on with your life. But in other circumstances, the relationship can recover, and you may be able to build it into something even stronger down the road.

More Relationship Advice

• 21 Ways to Strengthen Struggling Relationships
• 20 Things to Make a Relationship Last
• 11 Tips That Help Couples Keep Growing in a Relationship
• 10 Simple Ways to Keep a Fulfilling Relationship

7 Growth Mindset Dos And Don’ts

When it comes to the mind, there is so much the average individual doesn't know. Take the idea of a growth mindset, for example. Many believe that our own abilities and our intelligence remained fixed after some point in time. Some think this happens at birth, while others may think it's after college or university. The reality, however, is that our minds are constantly growing and adapting. How much depends entirely on our view of intelligence and learning. These ideas came surfaced when Stanford University's Carol Dweck researched the subject. In her book on the matter, she talks about these notions and also about a solution to the issues of mental stagnation. That solution is the growth mindset. I've shared information about this before, but for this post, I want to explain some dos and don'ts of nurturing a growth mindset. After all, one does not simply follow one trail and begin to grow. There are various traps along the way -- namely, the false growth mindset.

What Is the False Growth Mindset?

At the start of her research, there were two mindsets that Carol Dweck stumbled upon. These mindsets were the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. How you determined which mindset you fell into was based on how you faced your failures and challenges. All of these ideas are explored by Dweck through her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. ((Indie Bound: Mindset Paperback)) However, the question of where this false growth mindset comes from was where Dweck returned to in order to further explore this topic. In 2016, she uncovered something called the false growth mindset. In her words, a false growth mindset is:

"...saying you have a growth mindset when you don't really have it or you don’t really understand [what it is]. It’s also false in the sense that nobody has a growth mindset in everything all the time." - Carol Dweck ((The Atlantic: How Praise Became a Consolation Prize))

Dweck expands:

"Everyone is a mixture of fixed and growth mindsets. You could have a predominant growth mindset in an area but there can still be things that trigger you into a fixed mindset trait... So I think we all, students and adults, have to look for our fixed-mindset triggers and understand when we are falling into that mindset." ((The Atlantic: How Praise Became a Consolation Prize))

It can be easy to assume you have a growth mindset, simply because you are aware of the concept, but that does not mean you will not stumble along your journey of growth.

Why Is It so Bad?

We can break the problem down into three simple points:

• First, if you have a false growth mindset, it means you don't have a grasp of the area you're trying to improve upon. This, in turn, leads to distorted applications of the growth mindset.
• Second, improper use of a growth mindset can lead to undeserved praise. Praising someone despite a failure only makes the problems worse, as it's processed as a consolation prize rather than a reward.
• Finally, while a growth mindset will encourage us to learn, any other mindset can distort our view of learning. Many fixed mindset individuals don't bother studying further and improving skills. The same can be true for those with a false growth mindset.

Dos and Don'ts of a Growth Mindset

Fortunately, there are remedies to a false growth mindset. Here are some key dos and don'ts that you can use to ensure that you are developing the proper mindset.

1. Do Change How You Praise

Whether it's to yourself or to someone else, how you phrase praise matters to how others interpret it. One of the key differences between those with fixed mindsets and growth mindsets is how they've been praised. How you can get a true growth mindset over a false one depends on how you word your praise. So, to help you with praise phrasing, here is a chart that touches on person- and process-praise.((MindsetKit: Do's and don'ts of praise)) The key is to focus on praising the process that leads to the outcome. This is a different approach than praising only the outcome or the effort that was put into it. This prevents you from a false growth mindset, as most teachers who adopt the false method will focus on praising exclusively effort.

2. Do Emphasize Learning Goals

Learning goals are the goals that spark curiosity and push someone forward. You can say these goals are all effort-based, as they require more action. The action part is important because learning isn't all about hitting a certain test score or grade in a class. Learning goals focus on understanding the topic for the sake of it in order to complete a task. For this reason, you want to avoid performance-based goals like getting a certain score or achieving a specific grade. Of course, we all want to pass, and that's important, but our focus should be on learning more so than on hitting a specific number.

3. Don't Praise Effortless Achievement

What I mean by this is don't focus so much on finishing something as quickly as possible. Nor should you dish out praise if something is passed to you in record time. If something is obtained without so much as breaking a sweat or learning anything, then it wasn't time well spent. In those situations, it's worth looking back at your goals or moving on to something else.

4. Do Attribute Success to Effort

While we should be avoiding some effort-based praise, the fact still stands that you need to put in the effort to succeed. If you're not working hard and smart, then you aren't going to be able to solve your problems. With this in mind, be sure to incorporate strategies, plans, and setting strong goals that will bring you to your version of success.

5. Don't Label Yourself or Others as "Smart"

Yes, people can be intelligent, but there isn't a need to bring that up. The word "smart" suggests that you or the other person has an innate ability of higher intelligence. And while our innate abilities do matter, a lot of us overestimate how important they are on a general scale or in specific subjects. Remember that many people stop actively learning once they have a degree. In other words, most people attribute their intelligence to this degree and feel there isn't a need to learn more, even if that degree was obtained years ago. Industries evolve and change every day, and what we learned as recently as two or three years ago may not be relevant today.

6. Do Accept Mistakes

Mistakes are part of the process and are needed for us to grow. Again, Dweck's conclusions stemmed from student's reactions to problems and mistakes that they made. It's an important criterion and ingredient to determine our mindsets. As such, if we want to develop a true growth mindset, we want to embrace our mistakes.

7. Make Mistakes Part of the Learning Model

Not only should we accept mistakes, we should also incorporate them into the learning process. You don't need to be in a school atmosphere to apply this. Some prime examples are at work. Say, for instance, that the company brought in a new machine or is introducing new concepts or roles that you're struggling with. Instead of grumbling about it, take a step back and highlight the specific problems that you have. From there, go and look for help. This can be within your own office, or you can turn to the Internet.

A Growth Mindset Is Within Your Reach

Now that you have a more refined grasp on the topic, I hope that you understand why it's so important to ensure you have the right mindset. There is more to a growth mindset than understanding a simple explanation or approaching failures and mistakes differently. While those are important, you can see already there is more at work here. A growth mindset is well within anyone's grasp should they devote more time to practicing it the right way.

More About the Growth Mindset

• 30 Things to Say if You Want to Teach Kinds About Growth Mindset
• 17 Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset
• 8 Signs You Have a Growth Mindset That Makes You Mentally Stronger
• 7 Growth Mindset Activities to Build Your Mindset

How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today

As human beings, one of our deepest-rooted desires is to have a meaningful and happy existence. You've probably heard the saying "Live your best life." It's good advice. We all want to feel connected to both ourselves and others. We want to feel that we’re part of something important and that we’re making a difference in the world. We want to look back at our lives and our achievements and be proud. In short, we want what the saying says: to live our best lives. But what does it really mean to live your best life? You are a unique individual, so living your best life is exclusive to you. Your best life will reflect your true values. It will be made up of what makes you happy and will be colored by what making a difference means to you.

What Stops You From Living Your Best Life?

While living your best life is all about you, what other people think can have an impact on you quest to live your best life. Social media, for example, puts us under a lot of pressure. There are specific expectations of what "happy" looks like, and we’re under pressure to confirm to what society expects. For example, we are pressured to look a certain way, wear the "right" clothes, have exciting adventures with eye-catching friends, eat ethical and healthy food, and do charity work. These are only a few of society's expectations. It’s a long list. Social media claims to connect us, but often it can do the opposite. We can spend so much time worrying about what other people are doing, trying to live the life that society expects of us, that it can be easy to lose track of what makes us happy and what our best life actually looks like.

Start the Journey to Living Your Best Life

What does it look like to live your best life? Following are some practical tips and tools to move from living your current life to living your best life.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

To live your best life, you must be the best version of you. Don’t try to be something or someone else. Don’t try to be what other people want you to be. Focus on who you want to be. Play to your strengths and be proud of what makes you different. You are brilliant. Gretchen Rubin, in her book Happiness Project, created her own commandments. The first one was "Be Gretchen." This gave her permission to follow her gut feeling and make up her own rules. For example, she stopped forcing herself to enjoy parties, cocktails, and fashion just because that’s what she thought society expected. So, inspired by Gretchen, create your own commandment: "Be more YOU" and remind yourself of this every day. Unapologetically.

Observe Yourself

To work out what your best you looks like, you must get to know yourself better. It’s your best life after all - not anyone else’s. Start to notice how you respond to various situations. What are your habits? What makes you happy? What frustrates you? How do you behave under pressure? What gives you energy? What drains you? Spend a week simply noticing. Write your observations down so you remember.

Identify Your Bad Habits

As part of your observations, start to notice your bad habits. Consider the things that don’t ultimately make you feel good. Does scrolling mindlessly through Instagram make you happy? For 5 minutes, perhaps, but for longer? That last glass of wine was delicious, but do you pay the price later? That chocolate was enjoyable in the moment, but now that the sugar high is over, are you feeling regretful? Observe yourself first. Then, start to deliberately do more of the things that make you happy and give you energy. At the same time, work on reducing, then eliminating the habits that squander your time, drain your energy, and ultimately don’t make you happy. Need help conquering your bad habits? Read How to Break Bad Habits Once and For All.

Set Intentions

After having thought about what makes you happy and what drains your energy, focus on what living your best life looks like for you. One of the keys to living your best life is being intentional about it. When you deliberately set intentions you are more likely to act with purpose and drive. Setting intentions is different from setting goals. Goals are your list of things you want to achieve. You can set them daily, monthly, yearly, or a combination. A common practice is to define goals and write them down. This makes them more tangible and makes you more accountable, therefore making the goals more likely to happen. The subtle yet important difference between goals and intentions is that when setting intentions, you decide what kind of positive feelings and emotions you are seeking. For example, "This week, my intention is to approach my admin tasks with gusto in order to complete them more quickly." Intentions can be more motivating than goals because if you don’t achieve your goal, it can feel like a failure and can ultimately hold you back. If you don’t achieve your intention to approach something in a specific way, you can more easily regroup and have another try. Write down your intentions every month, week, or day, using whichever time frame works best for you. For example, "I intend to enjoy going swimming three times this week" or "I intend to assertively build my network in my local area this month." Setting intentions gives you something to focus on, and it also helps to manage the feeling of being overwhelmed that often happen when we set ourselves goals.

Visualize Living Your Best Life

Visualization can help you to cement your intentions. It involves visualizing how it would feel to live your best life once you achieve it. It can help you to further establish what you want and allow you to settle into a positive mindset. To visualize, first choose your focus. Choose a specific intention and how you will feel once it is accomplished. Then, take the time to daydream and allow your imagination to wander. For example, if your intention is going swimming three times a week, imagine what you will look and feel like:

• What will you wear?
• How do you get there?
• What time of day do you go?
• How do you feel when you’re in the water?
• How do you feel afterwards?

Ask yourself these little questions and allow yourself to feel the  same feelings you would feel if you were currently fulfilling your intention.

10 Ways to Live Your Best Life

Now that you’ve decided and visualized what your best life looks like, lets look at some more practical steps to take to achieve it.

1. Focus

Whatever you do, focus. If you swim, swim. If you study, study. Multitasking is a myth. It’s not possible to do more than one thing at a time well. Focused work is the least tiresome and the most productive type of work. Michael LeBouf, the author of The Millionaire in You, said,

"Winners focus, losers spray."

2. Take Responsibility for Taking Action

Taking action can feel scary. We fear failure, but we can also fear success. It can be easy to feel too busy to achieve your intentions. However, you have the choice to take action and live your best life or to stay the same. It’s up to you, so take responsibility to take action.

3. Live in the Present

Every day is a new opportunity to live your best life. We so often get stuck because we put things off. We can think, "When I’ve lost 10 lbs I’ll go swimming," or "When I feel more confident I’ll look for a new job," or "When I get my new running shoes I’ll start running." How about starting from where you are? How about using what you already have? We often put off taking action until we have the newest phone/camera/game/course/book/shoes, as if they are the keys to happiness. In the process, we forget about what we already have. Grab the camera that you have, put on your old running shoes. Go and do something interesting today with what you’ve got. Fancier gadgets, better clothes, or a slimmer body won't make you better. Action will.

4. Declutter

This applies to the environment you live in as well as the people you spend time with. Use Marie Kondo’s deculttering method of asking, "Does it bring you joy?" ((Kon Mari: Tidy your space, transform your life)) If your answer is yes, you keep the item. If you hesitate or say no, you donate it or throw it out. Simple. This also applies to people. If there are people in your life that make you feel bad, drain your energy, and don’t bring you joy, let go of them. Instead, spend time with the people and activities that give you energy and make you feel good.

5. Relish the Simple Things

When we’re busy, we can forget to appreciate what we have. Take time to focus on the simple things. Even when you’re feeling low, there’s always something to be grateful for. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. ((Harvard Health Publishing: In Praise of Gratitude)) Be deliberate in being grateful for what you do have, rather than resentful of what you don’t.

6. Journaling

Journaling is simply writing your thoughts down. According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, writing your thoughts and feelings down on paper not only helps you get your thoughts in order, it can help ease symptoms of depression and manage stress and anxiety. ((University of Rochester Medical Center: Journaling for Mental Health)) In the chaos of life, it is easy to overthink, feel anxious, or not appreciate what you do have. Journaling can help you manage your thoughts and feelings and cope with life in a productive manner. Be curious and keep learning. Ask more questions and keep pushing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and learn. What are you interested in or curious about? Perhaps it’s learning more about where you live, or reading up on a particular topic? Maybe it’s traveling to a new town or country? According to Dan Pink's research, learning is a key motivator. ((Daniel H. Pink: Dan Pink on Motivation)) Whether you feel like you’ve gotten stuck in a boring routine, or you’re stressed by the tasks of daily life, learning something new is a way to step outside yourself and your comfort zone. Create a bucket list of all the things you’d like to do and learn and the places you’d like to go, and start ticking them off.

7. Make Someone’s Day

Being kind to others makes them feel good, and it also releases chemicals in your body that make you feel good, too. Think about a time you gave someone a gift that they loved. How did you feel? You don’t have to start giving people gifts to make someone’s day. Think about small, thoughtful gestures: a genuine compliment, opening the door, offering to help someone. All these things can make a big difference in someone’s day.

8. Look After Your Body

Eat what nourishes you, including plenty of vegetables and fruit and food that’s natural and unprocessed. Drink plenty of water. Exercise because you like it, not because you’re supposed to go to the gym. Reject the idea that you have to push yourself really hard at exercise, and instead try out a variety of things – for example, walking the dog, gardening, yoga, swimming, or dancing. Find what you enjoy. When you enjoy something, you’ll be motivated to do it more. Get good rest! We’re all different in terms of the amount of sleep that we need. However, most adults need between 7 and 9 hours sleep. If you’re not getting that much, then check out healthy sleep tips from the Sleep Foundation. ((Sleep Foundation: Healthy Sleep Tips)) More tips for staying healthy: Powerful Daily Routine Examples for a Healthy and High-Achieving You.

9. Manage Your Inner Critic

Most people have an inner critic that tells them they are not good enough, that they’re a fraud, and that they are going to be found out. This happens especially when we step out of our comfort zone and change things. If you are living your best life, your inner critic likes to jeopardize that. The next time it appears, acknowledge what's happening and call it out. Whatever it is telling you, list all the reasons it’s wrong.

10. Be Prepared to Change the Plan

You may have set intentions to live your best life. However, life is not linear, nor does it work in lists. You must expect to be flexible and change the plan as life throws things at you. The end game remains the same: to live your best life. It’s just the route to get there that will inevitably change.

Conclusion

Live each day like it counts, and remember, it’s your choice. Your best life is unique to you. Don’t compare yourself to others – focus on living your best life, and enjoy the learning, exploration and experiences along the way.

What Are Smart Objectives? (And How to Use Them)

Imagine you’re planning a road trip to a place you’ve never been. Before leaving, you would probably open up Google Maps and plan your route. The same principle carries over to personal and professional goal-setting. Mapping out your journey with smart objectives is a strategic way you get where you want to go, when you want to get there — and to avoid time-consuming wrong turns along the way. As the CEO of my own company, my most precious resource is time. I’m tasked with the role of leading my team to our organization’s goals, and I want to make sure we don’t waste time getting off track. Smart objectives help me accomplish that, and they can help you, too.

What are Smart Objectives?

Smart objectives are a framework for accomplishing your goals. SMART is an acronym consisting of five key elements on the road map toward efficiency. If an objective is “smart,” it will be:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Relevant
• Time-oriented

These elements create an action plan for where you want to go and an assessment tool for measuring progress along the way.((Entrepreneur: What Are SMART Goals and How Can You Set and Achieve Them?)) George Duran, a consultant and former Director of Corporate Planning for Washington Water Power Company, developed the framework of SMART goals ((Management Review: There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management’s goals and objectives)) to help managers lead their organizations toward their goals. However, smart objectives are an effective method for anyone who wants to accomplish something — professional or personal — in the most efficient way. By clearly defining the steps and resources you need to move toward your accomplishments — and signaling progress as you go — smart objectives keep you motivated and on track, increasing the odds you’ll get where you want to go. How does this play out practically? Perhaps you’re tasked with increasing the SEO traffic to your company’s website. As is, this objective is quite vague. How much do you want to increase the traffic? And by when? Smart goals add specificity to your objectives, making your desired outcome, along with your action steps, as concrete as possible.

How to Use SMART Objectives to Increase Your Efficiency

As with any new routine, implementing smart objectives requires a bit of time and intentionality, but in the end, they should save you some hassle. With the right steps and mindset, you will be able to move closer to your goals without wasting valuable time or energy. The first step to implementing and applying smart objectives is thinking big. Take some time to zoom out and reflect on the big picture. What’s your overall vision for your project or organization? Once you establish an idea of where you want all your hard work to lead you five or ten years down the road, you can use smart objectives to brainstorm the most effective steps to get there.

1. Be as Specific as Possible

When you’re venturing out on a road trip, you probably have an idea of where you’re going. If you don’t have a clear picture of where you want to go, you won’t know how to get there. That’s why it’s vital to be as specific as possible about the end result you’re seeking. Think of this specificity as creating a mission statement for your goal.((University of California: SMART Goals: A How to Guide)) For example, recently, my colleagues and I decided we wanted to streamline our customer service process. Ideally, this would result in happier customers, a respectable goal on its own. But what would this improvement look like, tangibly? Customer reviews are one way to concretely determine whether our customers are thrilled with our product and service. Therefore, to make the goal more specific, we decided we wanted our five-star ratings to increase. With a specific improvement in mind, we were able to develop practical action steps to get there. We also gained new motivation to make our customers’ experience great. To create a specific goal of your own, write out exactly what you’re trying to accomplish, with the most specific wording as possible. Avoid words like “increase” or “improve,” which are vague, and choose a specific action instead.

2. Make Your Goals Measurable

To make your objectives “smart,” you need a way to track your progress and understand when you’ve met expectations. Using my example, my team and I knew we wanted our positive ratings to improve. But by how much? How would we know when our work was paying off? We decided increasing our five-star online reviews by 30 percent would be an accurate way of measuring our progress. We had improved our sales by this much before, so applying the same objective to our reviews seemed reasonable. When you create your own smart goals, make sure to establish a benchmark. Associating a number, amount, percentage, or frequency with your goal creates a “bullseye” target for you to hit. It’s your quantified picture of success.

3. Be Realistic

It’s important to stretch yourself when you’re chasing a goal. However, since time is of the essence for most of us, it’s crucial to be realistic. Can this goal actually be achieved with your existing time and resources, or does it need to be scaled down and integrated into a larger plan? When my team and I set out to improve our user ratings, I had to examine the likelihood we could actually accomplish it. If I had doubted our ability to do so, I would have tweaked the objective. For example, I could have stretched the deadline, or decreased the measurement of success. Looking back at past progress and analytics is one way to double check that your smart objective is realistic. Are you hoping for a spike in traffic to your company’s website? If your past few months have shown an increase of just two or three percent, a goal of 10 percent growth might be a stretch. Save yourself time and frustration and aim to be as realistic as possible.

4. Opt for Goals That Are Relevant to Your Business

Another common time-waster is: Creating goals that are irrelevant to an individual or organization’s core values or strategy. For my colleagues and me, happy customers are the primary benchmark for success. We built our product and company to save our customers time and improve their lives, so a goal of improving customer ratings made sense. It fit with the direction we were already going. When you’re developing smart objectives of your own, ask yourself whether your goal lines up with your organization’s strategic plans and with industry trends. In other words, make sure your desired objective matters. You want your hard work to pay off.

5. Choose a Specific Time Frame

The final step in creating smart objectives is allotting a specific time frame to your goal. Every objective has mile markers and a destination, so make sure to ask yourself the question “When will this be done?” Adding the boundaries of a particular time frame will keep you focused and on schedule. In our case, we were aiming for a 30-percent improvement in reviews within three months. This deadline created a sense of pressure that motivated us to work hard, but it also felt realistic. With the time frame in mind, our objective went from “increase positive reviews” to “grow five-star ratings by 30 percent within three months.”

The Bottom Line

If you’re creating smart objectives of your own, you’re creating a road map to your success. The good news is, taking time to create these goals is a major part of the journey. As the famous author, salesman, and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said,

“A goal properly set is halfway reached.”

Want to learn more about how to create and implement smart objectives in your personal life? Check out 20 Examples of Personal SMART Goals to Improve Your Life.

11 Ways to Handle Stress Wisely

As the number one killer of men and women, stress is the root cause of many diseases, from cancer to heart disease. Left unaddressed, stress has a crushing force that, over time, can lead to ugly repercussions. From frequent headaches to regular fatigue, symptoms will come pouring in if you don't learn how to handle stress wisely. ((American Psychological Association: Stress effects on the body)) We can't always prevent or avoid stress, but how you conduct your lifestyle can radically reduce it. Instead of viewing every problem as a massive explosive strapped to your body, it's worth it to slow your thoughts down and recognize that nobody is a superhuman. If your stress is coming from your job or career, try to find ways to appreciate the little things as opposed to viewing everything as a puzzle to solve. How you approach communication and problem solving will make an enormous difference. It's easy to be absent minded in tense moments and act or respond impulsively when issues arise. Stress accumulates because we allow things to fester and don't effectively sort out various dilemmas in our daily lives. Mindfulness is the key to successfully navigating stressful situations. While stress fogs our brains, an open mind leaves room for new insights we otherwise might not have considered, so it's important to keep our minds free of unnecessary mental clutter. Every system of the body responds to stress, so learning how to respond positively can have numerous benefits. With that in mind, here are eleven ways to handle stress wisely.

1. Ease Into Your Day

Before you even get out of bed in the morning, give yourself some time to meditate. Focus on your breath and get unnecessary thoughts out of your head to change the way you think and perceive situations or events. Beginning your day by easing into it in utter silence will enhance your performance at work and keep you calm enough to adequately process chaotic or busy moments. Avoiding a muddled mind will improve your ability to accomplish tasks and execute them to completion at an optimal level. A clear mind promotes effective cognitive processing and assessing, so if you work in a hectic environment, it helps if your thoughts and actions naturally calm you down.

2. Consider Self-talk

Self-talk, when done correctly, can give you just the confidence you need to tackle any hardships you may encounter at work or home. Affirmations are a form of self-talk and include reminding yourself that you are where you need to be, that you can handle anything that comes your way, and that you're a fast learner. If everything feels difficult, remind yourself that, with time, what was once so challenging will become second nature. Self-talk can serve you as a remedy for boosting your mood when you're feeling low or like you just can't cope. How you speak with and interact with yourself should align with how you interact and speak with others. Anxiety is often self-induced by our thoughts and internal dialogue. What and how you think creates a ripple effect in your communications with others. Self-talk may be just what you need to overcome challenging obstacles in your day-to-day life.

3. Be Honest With Yourself

Being honest with your friends, peers, and colleagues is one thing, but being honest with yourself is quite another. Telling yourself the truth when you've goofed up or made an already difficult situation worse might be a tough hurdle to overcome, but doing so can help your mind handle stress more efficiently. If you're prone to worsening your own stress, be honest with yourself about it and determine to work on it. Using mindfulness and grounding techniques, you can overcome your tendencies toward stress before, during, and after life events and difficult situations.

4. Omit Unimportant Details

Unimportant details might include worrying that a friend, colleague, or boss has it in for you, that you could have done this or that better, or that you're not exactly where you want to be in any given moment. All of these nagging thoughts are just your mind entertaining unimportant details that you don't need to indulge. Our own thoughts have the power to completely inundate us with pointless or even silly concerns, so omitting them can be key when learning how to handle stress. Have you ever found yourself in a stressful situation at work and later found yourself ruminating until your head ached? This needless mental torture is a surefire way to drain all of your energy. Instead, omit the ruminations and focus on the positive aspects of your day.

5. Become a Pro at Assessing Situations

When things get chaotic, it can be difficult to appropriately assess all that's going on. One way individuals exacerbate their stress is by acting impulsively or doing something absentmindedly. It's not uncommon to misinterpret rapidly unfolding situations, so moving and responding mindfully and slowly can be beneficial. Even in the core of chaos, pull yourself together and create a system. Find ways to be skilled in assessing situations in the moment by slowing your mind and thoughts down with your breathing. Being mindful not to throw fuel on an already raging fire will allow you to find the next best thing to do. If we can do that, we can drastically improve our ability to handle stress.

6. Learn How to Self-compromise

Practicing self-compromise means that you are willing to accept stress as an unavoidable part of life that you can work with without being overthrown or dictated by it. A wise mind knows that stress doesn't have to hold the reigns. Self-compromise is an empowering skill to acquire — you're accepting something as is while deciding not to be controlled by it.

7. Visualize Scenarios to Apply in the Present and Future

Visualization is a great resource for those struggling with anxiety or stress. Before going to work, visualize yourself having a successful day and create a plan for yourself. Fear of failure often contributes to stress and anxiety, so visualizing situations of success has the ability to change how you function in your day-to-day life. It can be a weapon for combating stress before its onset. Before you have to perform at work, visualize yourself reaching your desired outcome. ((MentalHelp: Visualization and Guided Imagery Techniques for Stress Reduction))

8. Maintain a Problem-solving Mindset

In difficult matters at home or work, maintaining a problem-solving mindset will keep your creative juices flowing, and you'll be quick and effective in your responses. You will also set yourself up for success by not viewing issues or problems as if they are large mounds of tangled thread. Instead, when something comes up, imagine yourself solving the problem quickly. Maintaining this frame of mind will put you in the driver's seat as opposed to stress driving over you.

9. Let Go of What You Can't Control

Another way stress accumulates is through our desperation to steer the ship of our circumstances and outcomes. The only thing you have control over is your behavior, responses, and how you navigate life in the right direction. Train yourself to let go of the things you have no control over. Instead of trying to make problems disappear, take control of how to handle stress when you face those problems. This will naturally point you in a better direction.

10. Seek Simplicity

Every aspect of life has its complications, from relationships to work to how we spend our free time. Our thoughts naturally spiral and blow everything out of proportion, causing us to over-analyze situations, so learning how to reign this in and handle the stress it causes is crucial. The simplest thing to do when this happens is to breathe. Relaxed breathing can intervene and bring your thoughts back to a more concrete and accurate place from which to work. ((Michigan Medicine: Stress Management: Breathing Exercises for Relaxation))

11. Don't Internalize Stressors

It's not uncommon to take someone else's worries, burdens, fears and make them our own. On the other hand, we regularly keep our own stressors locked away and baking on high temperatures, which creates a quick route to burnout. If you notice yourself holding on to a stressful situation, try an activity such as writing in a journal or completing a "brain dump," the act of emptying the mind of troublesome or recurring thoughts by putting them into a different medium. Drawing boundaries with those around you can also help to avoid internalizing stressors. If you don't want someone handing you their problems, create some distance or vocalize your concerns.

The Bottom Line

Stress can be far more destructive than we realize. More importantly, it can kill the joy in our work and hobbies and destroy our overall well-being if left unchecked. You have the power to take back control and not be consumed by stress. Maintaining a wise, open mind can eliminate stress from your life and allow you to take back control. Learn to quiet obsessive or unnecessarily repeated thoughts using meditative breathing and grounding techniques. Focus on the present moment and do so with the goal of keeping things simple. Instead of letting stress consume you, learn how to handle it wisely and experience the benefits of a life lived with less worry.

More Tips to Restore Energy and Reduce Stress

• 5 Ways To Turn Stress Into Productivity
• 7 Simple Ways to Lower Your Stress in 15 Minutes or Less
• How to Meditate for Relaxation and Stress Relief