Delegating Work: What to Delegate and What Not to?

Here’s a fact: You might have heard a lot about the importance of delegating work. But if you’re a new leader or manager, it won’t be all fun and games. Like everything in life, delegation isn’t a piece of cake unless done the right way. You’re highly likely to face a lot of unexpected obstacles. And sadly, there’s no way around them. No circumstances in life are going to go easy on you just because you’re inexperienced. Luckily, you can tackle these hindrances very easily if you’re smart enough to learn. Learn from your mistakes, your surroundings, and this post! Today, you’ll find an answer to one of the most frequently asked questions by new delegators: What to delegate and what not to? Believe it or not, this is one crucial step in the process of delegating work. So, read through this article to clarify all your confusion in this regard!

Tasks That You Should Always Delegate

When you’re just getting into delegation, it is quite common to feel like you’re delegating too much work. Inexperienced managers usually feel like they are over-burdening their employees, giving away their own tasks, or asking subordinates to do what’s not their job. While all these concerns are 100% valid and should always be avoided, they can keep you from delegating the work that has to be distributed among your team. This defeats the purpose of delegation even if you are well-aware of how to delegate tasks effectively. Here are some tasks that you should always delegate. However, reason with yourself according to the environment of your workplace to make the final decision.

1. Repetitive Tasks

Every office has a fair share of a few projects that are recurring and repetitive. Now, these jobs are either the same every time or even with a slight variation, they require a similar work process and skillset. For example, auditing, budgeting, event planning, etc. Such tasks have to be done every day, weekly, fortnightly, or monthly. The problem here is that even if these jobs are quick and easy, a manager is wasting time doing them. You should always delegate projects like these so that you can save up a lot of your precious time in the long run. Simultaneously, you can train your subordinates to perfection for jobs like these. With regular practice, your subordinates can begin to work on level 5 of delegation, which is where the employees can work independently.((business.com: Develop Your Team Using the 5 Levels of Delegation)) Whether or not you want to categorize annual projects in this category depends on how often the employees in your organization are promoted or replaced. If the same people will be around to do the job for 3 to 4 years at least, it is best to train them for it.

2. Time-Consuming Work

One of the most prominent features of delegation is that it helps save time. So, it is only right if you delegate the work that will take up too much of your time. Instead of spending a week on one project, you should spend a few hours explaining the work to your subordinates and let them take charge. This way, not only will you clear your own schedule, but it will also get the job done quicker. Since delegation is all about distributing work among a team, more people can work together on one project simultaneously. This will cut down a huge chunk of the work that goes into it. What this means is that if there are tasks that are time-consuming but have a short deadline, you must always delegate them. It is an easy and fool-proof method to tick off big projects on your to-do list!

3. Projects That Boost Basic Skills

While delegating work, you shouldn’t forget that as a leader or manager, you also must encourage skills in your subordinates. Certain projects are too complicated for people that do not have the skills to do the job. However, some challenges are a healthy way to encourage your team to broaden their skillset. If you don’t offer opportunities, your team will never grow. And that is a huge failure as a management leader.

4. Whatever Is Beyond Your Job Description

Every person in an organization has a defined job description. These are the duties that the person has to fulfill. As a leader, you too will have a job description, and you don’t have to do anything beyond it unless there is no one else skilled enough to do it. Ideally, anything that isn’t a part of your job description should be delegated. This isn’t done with selfish intentions. Instead, it is important to do so, or else you won’t have enough time to fulfill the tasks that are actually a part of your job. Things that are out of your job description are generally tasks that can be done easily by your team. Even if they face difficulties, you should only offer help and assistance instead of taking on the entire job.

5. Interesting Tasks

Keeping the employees interested in what they do is one difficult job that a manager must do. To keep the motivation levels high, you should delegate more fun work. Things that your employees will enjoy doing, let them. So, for example, if you’ve noticed that your team enjoys outdoor tasks, assign them jobs that require work to be done outside your office building. Other interesting tasks include field research, event planning, etc.

6. Work That Your Subordinates Are More Skilled In

Just because you’re leading a group of people does not mean you have all the skills that they don’t have. There may be something that your subordinates are way better at. For instance, you might not be very tech-oriented, but someone in your team could be. So, jobs that require skills that someone in your team is better at should always be delegated. Do not take it personally or make it a matter of ego.

Tasks You Should Never Delegate

Generally, once a manager gets comfortable with delegating work, all the concerns that were previously there vanish. While that is a good thing, some leaders may begin to ignore those issues completely. They may over-delegate and assign tasks that aren’t in the job description of the subordinates. Sometimes, managers delegate every single task and they are left behind with so much free time.((Harvard Business Review: How to Tell If You’re Delegating Too Much)) To avoid this from happening, you should never delegate the tasks with the following nature. However, the final decision depends on the nature of the exact task and your workplace.

1. Work That Takes Long to Explain

Imagine spending 3 hours explaining something that you could’ve done in 30 minutes yourself. That defeats the entire essence of delegation, doesn’t it? So if something needs deep explanation and has a long instruction manual even though the task itself isn’t that elaborate, your best bet is to avoid delegating it. Similarly, if you think you can do a job quicker yourself, do it.

2. Confidential Jobs

Certain matters just cannot be put into the hand of the employees. High priority and confidential jobs should never be delegated. These tasks are highly important so your expertise should come in handy. Moreover, assigning such jobs to the team can lead to a breach of privacy and other similar issues. Decision-making tasks such as appraisals, employee hiring, and other similar things also fall in the same category.

3. Crisis-Management

Every organization has to plan for the worst-case scenario. Such decisions are of high importance. You cannot risk letting your team, which is generally less experienced than you, to make these choices. You should plan and develop for the future of your organization yourself. The subordinates are just not in the position to do these jobs due to the lack of their exposure and level of responsibility.

4. Boring Tasks

As mentioned previously, you have to keep the employees interested and highly motivated. Boring tasks can demotivate employees. They take away the enthusiasm which eventually cuts down on the quality of the output produced. Keep boring tasks to yourself. This is a sacrifice you’ll have to make to keep the morale of your team up.

5. Very Specific Work

This is only applicable to a work which is already broken down into a small task. There is little to no room for creativity, and the instructions are very detailed and exact. Now, the expectations are to produce an output that is exactly what is being asked for. Since such tasks are too specific, only one person should do it. If a project like this is delegated, there is a high chance of slight variation in the results caused by individual subordinates. Therefore, the best option is that you do tasks like these on your own.

The Bottom Line

In the end, it is up to you how you weigh each scenario. There may be exceptions where you’ll have to against the aforementioned suggestions. But, for the most part, these are pretty universal. So, start your journey of successfully delegating work by using these tips from today!

More Tips for Effective Delegation

• The Delights of Delegation: Why Going it Alone Doesn’t Work
• 8 Tasks You Should Be Delegating
• 5 Project Management Tools to Get Your Team on Track

How to Write an Impressive Cover Letter (With Examples)

Think of your cover letter for a job application as an in-person introduction. Your resume outlines the facts—where you worked and for how long, along with your major accomplishments. But your cover letter also shows off your personality. Your cover letter should outline the case for why you deserve the job without being “salesy.” How do you do that? Follow these 12 important guidelines.

1. There Is No Cookie-Cutter Cover Letter for a Job

Targeting your resume to a particular job may mean changing up your “Objective” section a bit or adding to your “Executive Summary” section. Cover letters, though, really need to focus on the particular person you’re writing to, the particular job, and the particular company. It needs to prove, with an economy of words, that your job experience fits the requirements of the position for which you’re applying. Your letter should show that you have amassed the skills you need to succeed in that workplace. And, your cover letter should clinch your prospects by making the case that you are very excited about working at that particular company.

2. Always Opt-in to the Optional Cover Letter

Some job postings will give applicants the option of opting out of providing a cover letter for a job((The Washington Post: What Does "Cover Letter Optional" Really Mean?)). Don’t take the bait! Use the opportunity to further sell yourself in a personalized, well-crafted cover letter that creatively shares who you are and why your skills and personality align with the position and the company. Think of your cover letter for a job as an opportunity to describe your value proposition.

3. A Reference Goes a Long Way

Did someone recommend you for the job? Put that in the subject line of your cover letter if possible. If an online listing dictates what your subject line must be, cite the personal recommendation in the first sentence of your letter: Dear Ms. Sanders, Steve Smith recommended me for your Assistant Planner position. I worked with Steve at the XYZ company for four years as his assistant until he moved on, and I feel as though I learned from the best.  His high praise for you is the primary reason I am applying for this position, as I consider him an excellent judge of character.  You may want to bolster Steve’s recommendation with a short anecdote about working with Steve. Don’t be shy. Steve’s high opinion of you will likely mean that your resume gets a serious look.

4. Outline the Key Points You Want to Make

Company by company, your cover letter for a job application needs to be specific and bulletproof. Unless you have a great deal of practice in writing cover letters, it’s hard to just bang them out. So don’t even try. Instead, start with a list of points you intend to make. Generally, these would be a “grabby” introduction, a story or two about a particular accomplishment that is relevant to the job to which you are applying, a reason why you are the ideal candidate for the position, and a conclusion with a suggested next step.

1. Intro - Have been familiar with the company since my father worked there in the 1980s.
2. College Major - Majored in industrial engineering so I could get a job at CYY Building, Inc.
3. Captain of Soccer Team - Prepared me to solve problems, promote morale, and coach a team.
4. Ask for Informational Interview - 15 minutes to meet in person and learn more about opportunities.
5. Compelling Close - Ask Hiring Manager to call me. Say I will call her in a week if I don’t hear from her first.

5. Moderating the Tone of Your Cover Letter

Some companies are buttoned-up. The workers wear three-piece suits to the office each day plus loafers. Other companies are more casual. The employees wear shorts in the summertime and skateboard through the hallways. In an in-person interview, you would never wear shorts to a company whose employees are sporting three-piece suits. Similarly, your cover letter needs to strike the right note. The letter you write to a start-up should sound markedly different than the letter you would write to a white-shoe law firm. For example, even using something as informal as “Greetings” for the salutation may not be appropriate at a more formal firm. And definitely don’t use the default “To Whom It May Concern.” Instead, try to find the name of the hiring manager with an online search. If that’s not possible, you will want to begin with “Dear XYZ Hiring Manager.” The tone of your cover letter for a job starts at the very beginning.

6. Create an Attention-Grabbing Opening Line

Think of going to hear a presentation by a motivational speaker, only to have her open with, “I’m here today to present (fill in with title of the presentation).” What a let down! What if instead, she started with, “I just ran a half marathon. Now doesn’t that sound better than if I told you, ‘I tried to run a marathon but quit half-way through?’” See the difference? You want to hear more. Craft the first line of your cover letter with the utmost care. It doesn’t need to be clever, but it needs to show your personality and your fit for the position. Dear Mr. Stevens, I am committed to making the customer service experience better for people like my grandmother. At 87 years old, my Gram is lost in the digital world and reliant on customer service representatives she can reach by telephone to answer her questions and solve her problems. She regularly shares stories of frustrating dead-ends she experiences with people wanting her to “go online and make your selection.”  Yet, whenever she reaches someone willing to take the extra time to resolve her issue, she sings the company’s praises to everyone she knows. Based on Gram’s frustrations, I want to be that person who won’t give up or pass the buck with bewildered customers.   With a strong, anecdotal opening such as this, you show purpose and passion behind your application to be a customer service representative.

7. Recognize the Value of Cover Letter Real Estate

Spare writing is key in the cover letter for a job. It is always best if your letter doesn’t exceed a page. Those reviewing applications appreciate a letter that is terse, yet provides useful information to evaluate an applicant. This means you have five to six paragraphs in which to work. Repeating anything from your resume is a waste of real estate. Think in terms of describing why you are applying for the position and why you are the best candidate. To best show your personality, avoid stale phrases such as, “I believe my experience would be a good fit in your organization.” Add punch to your statements that show off your accomplishments and your attitude. I thrive in start-up environments where I’ve learned to expect the unexpected and to make changes on the fly. In one such instance, I uncovered better results from a pilot project and in under 30 minutes had updated the CEO’s presentation in time for his meeting with a venture capitalist.

8. Getting Creative

On the surface, a requirement is a requirement. Many online ads specify the number of years, and you might think they are ironclad. But if you count the number of years you amassed a particular skill at the job and add any volunteer work where you also used that skill, you might surpass the requirement. Say that you are applying for a position in fund development. If your career experience in putting on charity fundraisers falls a little short, it’s certainly appropriate to add in time spent organizing fundraising events as a volunteer—as long as you indicate it as such in your cover letter for the job. I recently passed my two and a half year mark of employment as a fund development associate with Notable Events. Concurrently, I oversaw all aspects of two annual fundraising galas as a volunteer board member of Reach for the Stars Foundation, offering scholarships to first-generation college-bound students. These involved finding sponsors for more than 70 silent auction items, renting event space, working with caterers, recruiting volunteers and MC-ing both events, which each drew more than 200 attendees and, together, raised more than $250,000. I believe this intensive hands-on experience helps supplement my years of employment. Showcasing your community ethos through volunteering could make up for the deficit in actual on-the-job experience.

9. Making the Case that You Fit

How will you fit in at the company? With some research, you can easily figure out the corporate culture of an organization. Many companies share their core values in job recruitment ads. But even if you can’t discern a company’s mission or beliefs from its advertising, you can learn it from articles you read about the company. Is it employer-centric or employee-centric? Is the culture more traditional or more fun? And what are you looking for? When you find a company where your needs align with theirs, that’s an indication that you would fit in well. Take care to make sure that your cover letter reflects how you fit. If you are a recent military veteran((Business News Daily: Hiring Veterans? What Employers Need to Know)), consider which civilian positions lend themselves to the regimented culture of which you’ve become accustomed. For example, your occupational specialty while in the military could dovetail well with a company’s job requirements—and you have the added benefit of discipline, following instructions, and teamwork that you can apply to any future position.

10. Always Ask for What You’re Worth

If the employer asks applicants to share their salary requirements in the cover letter for a job, disregard what you made in your former position and look into the salary ranges((Indeed: How to Disclose Salary Requirements)) of the advertised position. You will want to adjust up or down within the salary range depending on your prior experience in the industry or in a similar role. The key is to not undercut yourself by asking below the minimum amount, or to overinflate your worth by asking for an amount higher than the maximum pay in the salary range.

11. Show Your Cover Letter to Three People Whose Opinion You Trust

Once your letter is out in the world, it’s too late to tweak it for that particular job. You will dramatically improve your chances of having your cover letter “land” correctly if you’re proactive. Find a few people in the field, and ask them if you can show them your cover letter before you send it out. If you are starting out and don’t know anyone in the field, you may want to consider paying for a professional career consultant or coach to review your cover letter and resume. Remember that the care you demonstrate in your cover letter is that employer’s first impression of you.

12. End With Enthusiasm

You want to stay upbeat all the way to the end of the letter. Let the reviewer know that you appreciate the opportunity to apply and that you look forward to hearing from (or having a chance to meet with) them in person. It would be an honor to be part of your team, and I hope to have an opportunity to discuss this role and how I could contribute to it in person. This acknowledges that the organization gets to make the next move, but that you anticipate it will be in your favor. Sign off formally (“Sincerely” or “Best regards”) or informally (“Best” or “Thank you”) depending on the tone of the letter. Also, be sure to include your email address and phone number under your name. This ensures that, should the reviewer wish to contact you, the contact information is easily accessible.

Final Thoughts

The best cover letters for a job are lively, authentic, and provide a memorable result, anecdote or example of your approach to work. By tying your approach to the requirements of the job description and revealing your personality as a fit for the organization, you will give yourself a winning chance for making the cut and landing that coveted job interview.

More Tips on Writing a Great Cover Letter

• 10 Killer Cover Letter Tips to Nail Every Interview Opportunity
• I’ve Read More Than 500 Cover Letters and Here’s What I’ve Spotted
• Write A Killer Cover Letter In 7 Easy Steps

What to Do If You Grew up in a Dysfunctional Family

No family is perfect! It's far from it. All families experience some level of dysfunction. Most, however, manage pretty well despite it. There are gradients of dysfunction. The family's psychological and physical health sometimes determines where it registers on the dysfunctional seismograph. Families like the Bradys on The Brady Bunch (1969 - 1974), a TV series about a blended family with six children who get along beautifully despite rough patches here and there, are pretty much non-existent. In real life, a blended family like that would likely experience serious challenges and, more often than not, insurmountable ones. It's common for families like that to end in divorce.

Examining Family Dynamics

To determine a family's level of dysfunction, it's important to examine its dynamics. Is there crippling internal conflict, such as severe sibling rivalry, parental and/or child conflict? Is there domestic violence, mental illness, or sexual abuse? Perhaps the conflict is external, like drug and/or alcohol addiction, unemployment, gambling, or even extramarital affairs? All of these conflicts, whether internal or external, affect the family unit dramatically and cause considerable life-long dysfunction for its members.

Dysfunctional Family Roles

In almost all dysfunctional families, there are various ROLES taken on by its members to help the family survive.((Out of the Storm: Dysfunctional Family Roles)) Let's take a look at some of these roles.

The Enabler

The enabler takes on the protective role.((SOS Safety Magazine: 14 Characteristics of an Enabler)) They do whatever is necessary to take care of the family, no matter how bad the situation is. For example, in a family with an alcoholic or drug addict, the enabler is the one who picks up the pieces after their father comes home drunk. They protect the troubled family member from suffering the consequences of their bad behavior; they always hope that they can say or do something that will make their addicted parent stop what they're doing. This is exceedingly stressful and obviously, a lose-lose situation. In actuality, by protecting their addictive parent, they are creating a comfortable atmosphere for that parent, making it even more difficult for the addict to want to quit anything.

The Hero

This family member, the hero, usually the firstborn, could be considered the Poster Child for the family.((Bay Times: Dysfunctional Family Roles: #1 The Hero)) They make sure everything looks good to the outside world. The hero tends to be an overachiever and is always on top of their game. This hero knows that if they look good, so will their family. Often, they deny that there's even a problem. As you can imagine, keeping a dysfunctional family together and looking good is a tough job, which causes a great deal of pressure and inner conflict.

The Troublemaker/Scapegoat

The scapegoat tends to be the family's "black sheep".((MentalHelp.net: Toxic Families Who Scapegoat)) They are typically the middle child. They are the ones who are constantly getting into trouble, and they sometimes get suspended from school, arrested, have angry outbursts, etc. This family member takes the bullet for the team. The scapegoat, as the name implies, is blamed for everything that goes wrong in the family. Usually, they are the first to fly the coop. In many cases, if the "troublemaker" straightens up their act or manages to escape, another member of the family will more than likely take over the role.

The Lost Child

The lost child, who is sometimes referred to as the "quiet one", gets lost in the shuffle. According to an article in Solutions Recovery

"The Lost Child will just go with the flow, don’t stand out, don’t make any trouble. With the antics and achievement of the other family members, the low-maintenance kid is what the addiction family needs. Unfortunately, the Lost child often stays lost long into adulthood and has a lot of trouble getting direction in their life, interacting socially, or standing up for themselves."((Solutions Recover: The Lost Child))

The lost child is almost non-existent in the family. They insulate themselves, withdraw into their rooms to read, or watch TV. They avoid drama like the plague. They have no opinion, so they can never be counted upon to back anyone up.

The Mascot

The mascot, more often than not, is the baby of the family.((Bay Times: Dysfunctional Family Roles: #4 The Mascot)) They tend to be the funny and mischievous one in the family. They will act goofy, make everyone laugh, and draw attention to themselves, all in an effort to bring peace to the household. You can count on them to intervene when a volatile situation arises. Their tool is their humor. The mascot suffers just as much as the rest of the family members, but they hide that suffering behind their comedic acts. An illustration of such a family with these marked roles is the Wilkersons, depicted in the show, Malcolm in the Middle. There is Francis, the eldest son, who misbehaves so badly he is sent to military school. The next in line is Reese, a bully without any common sense, then Malcolm, a child genius who doesn't want to be one, and the youngest, Dewey, the ongoing victim of all of his brother's abuse. The mom is an overbearing control freak. The dad is just there, a loving but immature presence without much authority. This is a typical example of a dysfunctional family. And this is not even the worst of the lot. Growing up in a dysfunctional family wreaks havoc on those who grow up with one. Imagine being in prison—the only home you've ever known. In this prison, there's verbal and/or physical abuse, lack of boundaries, no space, and no one to whom you can voice your feelings or concerns. You don't feel safe, nor do you feel there's anyone on whom you can depend. There's rarely a release from this prison system. You might get out, but psychologically you may be bound for life.

Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family

Above, I covered some of the roles played in dysfunctional families. Now, let's take a look at some of the characteristics that make a family register high on their dysfunctional seismograph.

1. Abuse

Sexual assault, physical beatings, or verbal lashings are all active types of abuse. These are extremely serious. These families typically get caught up in a loop that makes it seem as though the abuse is "normal". It's not uncommon for children who grow up in these environments to continue the abusive behavior into their adulthood.

2. Emotional Abuse

This type of abuse is considered inactive. For example, a mother who ignores her child, who doesn't hold it; a parent who shows absolutely no interest in their offspring, or withholds love when the child doesn't do what they want. Neglect leaves the child always begging for attention, always looking for ways to receive validation. Some severe forms of emotional abuse include constant criticism, shaming, guilt-tripping, bullying, threats, gaslighting, and controlling behavior, to name but a few. A man I once treated presented with a constant need for attention from men and women alike. If he didn't receive it, he would get very depressed and think something was wrong with him. He constantly berated himself for not being good enough. Some probing into his family background revealed what I already suspected - the man's father had been absent from his son's life. And when he was around, he ignored his son, paying more attention to his friends and activities. Without realizing it, as an adult, my client was on a continual quest to get the approval and attention from strangers that he never received from his father.

3. Conditional Love

In families where love is conditional, there is always an extreme disappointment.((HuffPost: If It's Conditional, It's Not Love)) A member of this family is constantly striving to be perfect. They know that if they're not - that if they don't do what is expected of them - the "love" will be withdrawn. These members feel like they're walking on a tightrope. One slip and it's all over. In these families, there's no safety net. Children often grow up to become people-pleasers who do whatever it takes to get the love they so desperately want and need.

4. No Boundaries

A typical scenario in this type of family is a parent who is controlling, invades your privacy, and has no consideration for your opinion or desires. Maybe they open your mail or throw it away if they don't want you to see it. You may want to express yourself but are discouraged if you do. Without boundaries, family roles are fuzzy.((PsychCentral: 10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries)) As an older child, you might become parentified, obliged to act as parent to your younger siblings or your parents. Living with no boundaries is like throwing five different types of food into a blender. Once they are blended, it's impossible to separate any of the ingredients. A home with no boundaries is like that. You don't have your own space or your own identity. There's an overall lack of respect for individual rights and privacy.

5. No Intimacy

In this household, there is no closeness between the family members. Signs of love are non-existent. The kids in this home don't feel supported in any way. Emotionally, the parents are unavailable. It is likely that a grown adult from this type of family is cut off from their emotions or will choose someone who is unavailable themselves, replicating their family of origin.

6. Triangulation

In this type of dysfunction, the family members can't or won't confide in each other. "Communication" happens by "triangulating" another family member into their drama.((PsychCentral: Triangulation: The Trap Of The Problematic Person)) Let's say, for instance, that Mom is angry at Dad. Instead of talking to Dad about the situation, she calls Timmy over and starts complaining to him about Dad, "Can you believe what he did? He's a mess. I can't even stand him. You can tell him I said so." Imagine how Timmy feels stuck between both parents. In this household, a third person is always drawn in and made the substitute for direct communication.

7. Addiction

Any family who has one or more members addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc., is gravely dysfunctional. Any kind of addict is not - cannot - be a good, responsible parent. They may be physically present, but not emotionally. Addicts are unpredictable. The members of this family grow up being hypervigilant - always looking for clues as to what's going to happen next. In families with addictions, there may be a lot of yelling, violence, or the reverse, non-involvement. All of these features cause acute pain.

Some Causes of Dysfunction in a Family

Now that you have a picture of the pieces that go into the dysfunctional family construct, you may want to know the causes. Many things can be at play. For instance, there could be a history of mental illness, health issues, or physical or verbal abuse. Maybe the parent grew up in a violent home, and now they've created one themselves. Sometimes, however, the dysfunction is created by unpredictable life challenges. Maybe high stress due to the loss of a job, which leads to frustration, depression, and maybe even domestic abuse. While I was working with Worker's Compensation patients, the stress caused by their detrimental injuries and subsequent job loss was unbearable for some of my clients. Often they became depressed, abusive, suicidal, and sometimes even homicidal. The loss of identity changes the family dynamics, and a situation that didn't previously exist becomes prevalent.((Springer Publishing Company: Loss of Identity in Grief)) Roles change, thereby creating a great deal of havoc within the family. Growing up in a dysfunctional family can leave many scars. Those scars may appear as:

• Behavioral disorders
• Difficulty starting and maintaining relationships
• Difficulty communicating feelings
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of self-worth
• Chronic anxiety or depression
• Constant self-criticism

11 Ways You Can Heal From a Dysfunctional Family

If you grew up in a dysfunctional household, you may feel a sense of hopelessness. But all is not lost. There are many things you can do to heal and live a balanced and productive life. Here are some suggestions to get you on your way:

1. Get some therapy. A good therapist can help you look at those old, internal wounds, and work with you to help heal them.
2. Understand that as a child, you didn't have a voice, but as an adult, you do.
3. Realize that no matter what you were told, you are worthy of love. You matter!
4. Learn to express your feelings. They're in there.
5. Stay away from the toxic environment as much as possible.
6. Stop repeating the cycle you lived in. It is necessary to find a new normal.
7. Understand that your past does not define you. As an adult, you can make different choices.
8. Stop blaming your past. Do things differently; that's the best way to move forward.
9. Give up any unbecoming role/s you played. What role did you play? Is it something that works for you? Or something you need to discard?
10. You are not a victim anymore unless you allow yourself to be.
11. Know that you can't change people. You can only change yourself. By virtue of that, you change the behavior of others.

Final Thoughts

Growing up in a dysfunctional family can be brutal. It's an ongoing war that leaves multiple battle scars. As an adult, you don't have to keep fighting the war. You can end it. And while you might always have flashbacks, don't let them dictate your present life. You can make different choices. Initially, you may have to do things that go against the grain of who you believe you are. But by doing these things over and over again, things can change. The cycle of dysfunction can be broken.((Psychic Donut: The Cycle of Dysfunction)) A new and improved cycle can be built, and you can be the one to do it!

30 Best Business Books for Entrepreneurs Who Want to Make an Impact

Entrepreneurship is a constant learning process that’s going to be full of both peaks and valleys. Gaining knowledge from the people who have come before you and learning from both their successes and failures is something that every entrepreneur should strive for. One of the best ways to soak up all that knowledge is by reading, and there’s no shortage of fantastic books out there to learn from. If you’re looking for some fuel to feed your entrepreneurial spirit, here are 25 of the best business books you can pick up.

1. Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie

First off, the founder of TOMS shoes isn’t a guy named Tom, but Blake Mycoskie. In his book, Mycoskie details not just how he created a successful company, but one that made a real difference for millions of lives across the world. It’s an inspiring read that’s sure to push entrepreneurs to build something that matters. Get the book here! 

2. Will It Fly? by Pat Flynn

Taking a business idea and bringing it to market is a risky endeavor no matter what the business may be. Here, Flynn doesn’t merely caution readers against moving forward with half-baked ideas but shows them how to separate the good ideas from the bad and offers a roadmap for actually launching a business that has solid wings to fly with. Get the book here!

3. #Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso

A true rags-to-riches story that embraces the hustle of the entrepreneurial spirit, Nasty Gal founder Sophia Amoruso’s business memoir is guaranteed to inspire female entrepreneurs for years to come. Amoruso details how her small eBay business grew into a clothing retailer powerhouse that she never could have imagined. From trusting your instincts to knowing when to break the rules, Amoruso provides both witty and useful business insights. Get the book here!

4. The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau

A little motivation can go a long way in helping a business idea get off the ground -- even if there’s not a lot of money in the bank. Author Chris Guillebeau lays out a convincing argument that it’s not money that determines a business’s chances of success, but something intangible. Guillebeau presents 50 success stories of entrepreneurs who made an impact, even without huge piles of cash. Get the book here! 

5. Good to Great by Jim Collins

Jim Collins takes a look at 28 companies over the last 20 years and what practices they’ve put into place that helped them rise to the top. The book sheds valuable light on management strategy and how to create a business culture that rises above mediocrity and, instead, yields the sort of results that other businesses want to mimic for themselves. In short, if you want your business to go from just being good to being something truly great, this read is a great tool to help. Get the book here! 

6. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

One of the most popular novels with business leaders and CEOs, this one is sure to add fuel to the fire for any entrepreneur. First published in 1943, it continues to inspire entrepreneurs who want to forge their own path. Self-made billionaire Mark Cuban said that it should be “required reading” for every entrepreneur.((Business Insider: Mark Cuban Reveals The Best And Worst 'Shark Tank' Pitches And More)) Get the book here! 

7. Rhinoceros Success by Scott Alexander

In order for entrepreneurs to find long-standing success, charging full speed ahead with the power of a rhinoceros is essential. Written in 1980, but still incredibly relevant and inspiring today, this book looks at how to go about throwing oneself completely into a goal and the reality of what it ultimately takes to build and create a successful business and career. Get the book here! 

8. Conscious Capitalism by John Mackey and

Raj Sisodia

John Macky founded Whole Foods and helped redefine what a grocery store could be. Here, with co-author Raj Sisodia, Mackey looks at how to build a business that aims for a higher purpose than just making a profit. Creating a business where capitalism and values are on the same team isn’t always easy, but as Mackey and Sisodia show, it’s certainly a doable goal worth striving for. Get the book here! 

9. The Glitter Plan by Pamela Skaist-Levy and Gela Nash-Taylor

Today, Juicy Couture is a million-dollar fashion brand, but it was all started with just $200. Part business memoir and part how-to guide, company founders Pamela Skaist-Levy and Gela Nash-Taylor deliver a highly-entertaining and informative read that reveals the story behind their success and lessons learned along the way. Get the book here! 

10. The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday

Nobody gets through life without running into obstacles and hardships. While some might falter, others persevere to even greater heights. So what separates these two groups of people? Author Ryan Holiday writes in great detail why the principals of a Roman emperor were so powerful when employed by everyone from John D. Rockefeller and Amelia Earhart to Ulysses S. Grant and Steve Jobs when they were faced with adversity. Get the book here! 

11. That Will Never Work by Marc Randolph

The Wall Street Journal called this book, which details how the idea of Netflix came to change entertainment as we know it, “an engaging read that will engross any would-be entrepreneur.”((The Wall Street Journal: ‘That Will Never Work’ Review: Streaming Ahead)) The Netflix co-founder’s read functions as both a highly-entertaining history of Netflix’s creation and a source of advice on how to start what ultimately became a billion-dollar company. From how to move past disappointment to defining success, it’s one of the best business books of the last several years. Get the book here! 

12. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

While there’s plenty of business knowledge to be pulled from Gladwell’s book, it’s by no means your standard business how-to book. Gladwell takes a highly fascinating look at everything from the rock stardom of The Beatles to tech giant Bill Gates and how not just the 10,000-hour rule plays a part in success, but how one makes the most of all those hours. No matter what your profession, there are nuggets of insight that all entrepreneurs will find useful within the book’s pages. Get the book here! 

13. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

You’d be hard-pressed not to find this book on a “best of” list for entrepreneurs. It’s a book that every entrepreneur should at least read, if not own. Author Stephen R. Covey lays out a clear pathway for developing the habits that lead to not just success in work, but in creating a life of integrity that makes a lasting impact. Get the book here! 

14. Self Made by Nely Galán

  In regards to the entertainment industry, Nely Galán has certainly reached the top as the former president of Telemundo. In her memoir, Galán recounts the challenges she faced as a hispanic woman in the television business and how her pull-no-punches attitude helped her create and climb her own career ladder. Galán doesn’t just write about what she’s accomplished, but offers motivation and advice for every person who wants to create their own self-made path of success. Get the book here! 

15. EntreLeadership by Dave Ramsey

Money guru Davey Rasey has built his radio show into a financial advice empire and has put the principles he’s used for doing so into this book. Ramsey lays out not just tips for finding and leading the right people, but how to turn obstacles into advantages as your business grows. In their review, The Simple Dollar called it the “best single book on entrepreneurship” yet.((The Simple Dollar: Review: EntreLeadership)) Get the book here! 

16. Principles: Life and Work by Ray Dalio

With accolades from everyone from Bill Gates to Tony Robbins, Principles examines the code that guides Ray Dalio’s life and how he founded and grew the investment firm Bridgewater Associates. From goal setting to the importance of transparency and honesty, Dalio not only provides a blueprint for his success in business, but evidence of how it’s touched nearly every aspect of his life. Get the book here! 

17. Rise and Grind by Daymond John

Daymond John is, of course, no stranger to fans of the hit entrepreneur pitch TV show Shark Tank. Long before John was investing and mentoring young companies, he was carving out his own path with the clothing brand FUBU. The lessons and advice that John doles out are just as applicable to today’s entrepreneurs as they were in the 1990s when he launched his brand with a $40 budget. Get the book here! 

18. To Sell Is Human by Daniel Pink

Even if you’re not technically in sales, having sales skills will always add value to your profession. Author Daniel Pink delivers clear and easy-to-follow advice on how entrepreneurs can use proven sales techniques in both their businesses and lives. Knowing how to utilize the art of persuasion is an invaluable skill for motivation, and Pink’s book offers sound knowledge on the subject. Get the book here! 

19. Zero to One by Peter Thiel

An inspiring read for anybody with an entrepreneurial spirit, this book makes Thiel's case for why now is the best time to be an entrepreneur and how to think like an innovator. The book has been praised for offering both fresh and inspiring ideas by a who’s who of the tech world, including Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk. Get the book here! 

20. Atomic Habits by James Clear

Good habits will help you in business and life, while bad habits can unravel everything you’ve worked for. Good habit formation isn’t easy, but author James Clear makes his case for why it’s so essential and provides a proven formula for putting good habits in place while identifying and dropping the bad ones. Get the book here! 

21. The Creative Curve by Allen Gannett

Creativity is key for entrepreneurs, but not everyone is creative, or more accurately, not everyone thinks they’re creative. Allen Gannett believes that everyone can learn to harness the creative spark inside them; it’s all about applying the laws of the creative curve. Gannett combines both real-life stories and how-to advice for entrepreneurs to harness their creative spirit. Get the book here! 

22. Success Never Smelled So Sweet by Lisa Pierce and Hilary Beard

      Failure is something that every successful entrepreneur is familiar with, and it’s how they learn from it that ultimately leads to fruitful endeavors. Lisa Pierce and Hilary Beard lay out a personal story that details not just the setbacks and obstacles she once faced as a black woman who was saddled with debt, but how she learned to tackle each problem and build the L.E. Beauty company. For those who may be wondering if it’s possible to leave behind the 9-to-5 grind, Pierce and Beard proves that it’s doable and worthwhile. Get the book here! 

23. Start by Jon Acuff

According to author Jon Acuff, there are only two paths in life: average and awesome. The average path, of course, is the one of least resistance, but less rewarding. Staying on the awesome path is easier said than done, but Acuff provides a map for how to start down this path, push past the problems that arise, and ultimately create work that matters. Get the book here! 

24. The Lean Startup by Eric Ries

Technology has provided a natural opportunity for legal industry entrepreneurs, and a huge part of that is recognizing how to build good products and services. The Lean Startup does just that, and author Eric Ries provides sound advice on vetting new ideas and products when starting a new company. Entrepreneurs will find Ries’s methods and examples both insightful and, most importantly, practical. Get the book here! 

25. Switch by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Bringing about real change is a difficult thing to make happen, and according to the book’s authors, three things must occur: direction, motivation, and shape. Obviously, there’s more to it than that and the Heaths provide plenty of real examples from the business world such as the successful 1 percent milk campaign. There’s a certain psychology to creating change, and Switch helps uncover some of that mystery. Get the book here! 

26. The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Generosity and business domination aren’t two things that often go hand-in-hand, but The Go-Giver highlights why the old proverb "give and you shall receive” is so meaningful for entrepreneurs. Written as a novel, the book functions as a blueprint for how to create a meaningful business that adds real value to all the lives it impacts. Get the book here!

27. Crushing It! by Gary Vaynerchuk

It goes without saying that social media plays a huge role in the brand identity of today’s businesses. Gary Vaynerchuk offers entrepreneurs evidence-based examples of how-to and how-not-to use social media platforms to build a framework that creates industry influence. While the world of social media is constantly changing, Vaynerchuk manages to create an effective guide that applies to social media platforms both big and small. Get the book here! 

28. The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz

With a four-star rating and over 48,000 reviews on Good Reads, a lot of people are finding real value in Ben Horowitz’s helpful, but brutally honest advice. A must-read for anyone who’s just earned their MBA, Horowitz offers no-nonsense advice for the challenges that you’ll face when starting a business and how to push past them. Get the book here!

29. The Founder’s Dilemmas by Noam Wasserman

One of the best business books out there for new entrepreneurs, this one provides readers with a guide of mistakes that could threaten their business. The most impactful leaders learn to avoid mistakes by watching others, and this read aims to help readers see those hazards and pitfalls coming from a mile away and how to best avoid them. Get the book here! 

30. Mistakes I Made at Work by Jessica Bacal

Occasionally screwing up on the job is a part of life, and nobody’s immune to it, whether they’re a CEO, professional athlete, or world-famous rock star. Mistakes I Made at Work isn’t an entrepreneur’s personal memoir, but a collection of the tough lessons learned from a variety of very successful women. Spanning the tech sector to professional sports, author Jessica Bacal’s interviews provide real insight and valuable lessons that the next generation of successful women can surely find real value in. Get the book here! 

More Great Business Books

• 10 Best Success Books You Need to Read to Be Great at Business
• 20 Books to Read Before You Start Your Own Business
• 15 New, Must-Read Business Books for Achieving Success

7 Keys to Effective Listening

You hear all the time how important effective communication is. It's critically important in your career and the same holds true for marriage or any long term partnership. If you've read any of my other articles on this website, you'll know I am a huge proponent of strong communication skills. I have seen over and over again how clear and effective communication has helped people in many phases of their lives. Here is something that so many of us forget: listening is half of all communication. It's great to be able to articulate your thoughts and ideas clearly, but it's just as important to have effective listening skills. Let's take a look at how important effective listening is and along the way, I'll share with you 7 keys to effective listening. Read on to learn how to become a powerful listener.

Why Listening Skills Are Important

Unfortunately, many of us can only listen just long enough to form our own responses to what is being said, then we stop listening. Why is that? Because we have all the information we need to share our own opinion. Needless to say, this isn't effective listening, not by a long shot. Listening skills are vital in communication. Deep down one of our greatest pleasures is feeling understood by another person. We can't feel truly understood by another person unless we feel they are really listening to us. But once we feel that they are, it allows us to open up and share what we want to. We can do this because the sense of someone seriously listening to us makes us trust the other person. I don't have to tell you how much trust can help strengthen a relationship - it's critically important. When you combine the listening with a nice dose of empathy, it creates an even stronger bond. Being an effective listener also benefits the listener. When we take the time to truly understand the other person, it allows us to gain a deeper understanding of what is being said and where the other person is coming from. We've already discussed how the person speaking will feel better understood and want to trust us. This in and of itself helps us gain an ally and better partner, whether it's in a personal or a business relationship. But there's even more upside to being a great listener. We learn more and open up our horizons. It's too easy to get trapped inside our little world and look at things through our own lens of the world. But when we listen to another person, we can learn something new and sometimes, see the world through a new set of eyes. How cool is that?

What Makes a Good Listener?

Now that we know why listening skills are so important, let's take a look at what makes a good listener. We all know how easy it is to pay partial attention to what someone is saying. This happens for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it's the simple ongoing chatter inside our heads. Other times we are distracted thinking about another topic entirely. And sometimes we feel we've heard enough from the speaker to form our own response, so we are just waiting for them to take a break so we can get our 2 cents in. This isn't being a very good listener. Besides showing some of the keys to effective listening below, good listeners, in general, tend to be empathetic and listen with an open mind. They don't allow their preformed opinions to color what they are hearing. Good listeners are usually emotionally intelligent, so they are not only aware of their feelings but also perceptive of how others feel. They usually do a good job of asking follow-up questions - another good sign that they are listening. They ask these questions as a way of gaining a deeper understanding of others. A good listener is okay with being uncomfortable. They can allow silence to go on while the other person thinks about what they are going to say and don't get defensive. These are some of the traits of a good listener.

What Is Effective Listening?

Effective listening skills allow us to actively understand the information provided by the person speaking. Effective listening also has to do with showing a genuine interest in the topic being discussed. Many times, it also includes providing the speaker with input and feedback along the way, as well as asking thought-provoking, insightful questions to gain a full understanding of the subject. Asking these incisive questions also shows the speaker that the listener truly understands what is being said and can empathize with the speaker. Sounds like powerful stuff right? Read on for some of the benefits of effective listening.

What Are the Benefits of Effective Listening?

Effective listening will reward all parties involved in many ways, here are a few.

Effective Listening Builds Trust

This is probably the most important benefit of effective listening. Remember, when someone feels like they are truly being listened to and understood, it's only natural for them to begin to develop trust for the person listening. Or if the relationship already has a basis of trust, it only serves to strengthen it.

Productivity Goes Up

This is key in the workplace. Just think about how much more productive you could be in your job if there was all-around clear communication. That alone would help it shoot through the roof! Add in working with a group of folks who are effectively listening and understanding each other and you've got a recipe for super productivity.

Better Relationships

It almost goes without saying that if you are communicating with effective listeners regularly, it will forge stronger relationships. Again, the ability to feel like you are being truly heard and understood creates tighter and more meaningful relationships.

Greater Problem Solving

Remember that old saying two heads are better than one? What that means is that most of the time, 2 people can solve a problem better than one person on their own. The logic is simple: two people can look at the same problem or challenge from different angles, different sets of eyes, and different experiences from which to draw on. When people are listening and understanding each other, the ability to solve problems is greatly enhanced. Now let's get to the really good part - 7 keys to effective listening.

7 Keys to Effective Listening

1. Be Attentive and Relaxed

Probably the most important part of effective listening is being attentive. Be present and at the moment with the person you are listening to. Follow along with the words and thoughts they are sharing to build the full picture. Do your best to block out distractions, whether that's street noise or your internal thoughts. You don't want to be attentive to the point of staring unblinkingly and not moving at the person while they are speaking. That can get unnerving. You want to temper your attentiveness with being relaxed as well. This will help the other person feel more at ease. And speaking of staring unblinkingly at the other person. . .

2. Maintain Eye Contact and Face the Other Person

You'll want to keep regular eye contact with the person speaking and have your body facing towards them. Again, the regular eye contact doesn't mean you are staring directly at them without batting an eyelid for minutes on end. It means, in general, you are keeping your eyes focused on them and their eyes. You don't want your eyes darting to your phone or your computer screen. That takes away your attention. You'll also want to have your body facing the other person most of the time. It's a non-verbal way of communicating that you are paying attention to and listening to them.

3. Listen and Paint a Picture

While you are listening attentively, allow your mind to paint a mental picture of what is being said. This could be a literal picture in your mind or it may be more abstract involving concepts and ideas. When you combine listening attentively with your mind creating a mental picture, it will help you gain greater clarity around what is being said, as well as build a more lasting impression in your mind.

4. Do Not Interrupt

One of the surest ways to create choppy communication is by interrupting. Think about when you've been in a verbal fight with someone and you both keep interrupting each other to get your point across. Nobody ever gets to fully vocalize about what is upsetting them. The same concept holds true here. Don't interrupt the other person while they are talking. It conveys the message that you don't care what they are saying and that you think what you have to say is more important than what they have to say. Speaking of having your turn to talk. . .

5. Ask Questions to Clarify and Understand

When the person you are talking to stops talking and indicates you can take a turn, you want to use your words to good effect. The goal here is to ask clarifying questions that will help you understand fully what the other person is saying. Again, wait until the other person stops talking before asking your questions. Do not interrupt them to inject your point of view or ask off-topic questions. Asking tangential type questions can easily take the conversation down a completely different path. We see this happen all the time during everyday conversations. Someone is telling us about an adventure they went on and mentions a restaurant they went to. Someone else then asks a question about that restaurant and BOOM, the conversation turns to a discussion of restaurants. Don't be that person.

6. Keep an Open Mind

Another of the 7 keys to effective listening is to keep an open mind. It's important to listen with an impartial mind and not mentally judge the person speaking to you. To truly hear someone and to give them a chance to fully share what they are talking about, you must keep an open mind. If they say something that gives you pause or raises some concerns, keep it to yourself for the time being. Now is not the time to be forming judgments or making assumptions based on what is being said. Keep your mind open to allow them to speak freely and for you to listen fully.

7. Try to Feel What the Other Person is Feeling

Now we get to the part where you are working to empathize with the speaker. Do your best to put yourself in their shoes and see the situation from their vantage point. To get a good depth of understanding, you'll need to do your best to put yourself in as close to a mindset as the other person is. This isn't easy, and it does take work. If you've gotten to the point where you are feeling happy when they seem to be happy or sad when they are, you've done a great job of really understanding what they are telling you to the point of feeling similar.

Conclusion

As a reminder, listening is half of all communication. Being a good listener takes practice and some work, but it's well worth it. You'll gain greater clarity with your interactions with other people you interact with. This benefits both your professional and personal life. Imagine having clear communication with the people in all areas of your life. Sounds great, right? Be sure to use these 7 keys to effective listening to greatly improve your communication and relationships with others.

More Effective Listening Tips

• How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)
• 11 Tips to Help Improve Your Active Listening Skills
• 13 Powerful Listening Skills to Improve Your Life at Work and at Home

Why You Can’t Focus And How To Fix It

Concentration is fundamental to how well you manage your day. If you're unable to concentrate, then doing a particular task will result in getting little or nothing done. Have you ever found yourself on rainy Winter's day staring out the window and daydreaming about sitting on a beach in the summertime while the clock ticks down on an urgent deadline? Or have you tried to start that difficult task, but you've put it off and decided to work on something easier or not work on it at all? This is a lack of focus we all have experienced at some time. But its impact on your anxiety and stress levels increase since you're creating more pressure on yourself because you now have less time to work on that difficult task.

Signs and Reasons You Lack Concentration

There are multiple signs that your concentration and levels of focus are low. If you struggle to recall recent events because your short term memory isn't great, then you can't relax, and you'll always lose things. You may struggle to make decisions and lack energy, and you're continually making mistakes or unable to finish the tasks you've been given. Sleep, diet, anxiety, stress, and even being hungry are just a few reasons why you can't focus. But the good news is that there are many ways to improve your levels of focus. These are the things you can do if you can't focus.

20 Ways to Improve Your Focus

So how to fix your lack of focus? Here're 20 effective ways to try:

1. Break Your Day Into 30-Minute Slots

Breaking your time into smaller, more focused slots helps you maintain your focus for longer. If you have a big task ahead of you, it’s hard not to procrastinate as it can be overwhelming. By breaking down your efforts into smaller 30-minutes slots, you’re making a little promise to yourself that no matter what, you’re going to only work on this task and nothing else during this time. This approach not only breaks your day into manageable chunks but it also reduces the work needed on more significant tasks. Plan a few minutes of breaks between each slot or on the hour depending on if you’re deep in the flow or if you need a few minutes before you go again.

2. Use Timers

Using timers to help you stay focused is an effortless way to manage your time. Once you’ve decided on the task you want to work on, set a timer for how long you want to work on that task. If the task is large, then don’t set a timer that lasts the whole morning since this is too long for you to be entirely focused without being distracted. Break the time slots into smaller periods. Click start on the timer when you’re ready to go, but don’t stop until that timer ends. You can use the timer on your phone or remove as many distractions as possible. Set a timer in your browser; search for "timer" in Google, and one will appear.

3. Create a Personal Parking Lot

One of the advantages of being intensely focused is that your brain can get really creative, so new ideas, thoughts, and actions pop into it. Although this is great, it can harm your focus for the current task you’re working on. You don’t want to stop these creative thoughts, so to prevent you from starting to multi-task and leave this deeply focused mindset, have a notepad and pen next to you at all times. As soon as a thought or action that isn’t related to the task in hand pops into your mind, write it down. Nothing detailed - just one or two words max, so when you can go back to it later, it’s enough for you to remember why you added it. This isn’t limited to creative thoughts and actions. It could be things like “Order the party balloons", "Wash the car tomorrow", etc. It includes anything you know you have to do but you don’t want to forget at the moment.

4. Take Control of Your Day

During a busy day at work, many distractions can pull you away from the essential tasks. These could be email notifications, Slack messages, a phone call, or colleagues chatting around the office. In a busy work environment, it’s hard to know what’s urgent versus important, so you can easily get diverted to a request in email or feeling like your email is building up, so you then spend time responding to emails. This approach doesn't focus on what’s truly important and what needs to be answered urgently. To help take back control, you need to plan out your day in a structured way. Start by prioritizing what you need to work on that day - things that are urgent and important Then, break these tasks into work segments throughout the working day. These segments can also include when you look at your inbox, Slack, etc. Therefore, you’re controlling your day versus the tools controlling you.

5. Just Sleep More

You can practice all the focus techniques in the world, but if you’re not getting enough sleep, then your ability to remain focused will never improve. It’s often tempting to work late when you’re busy and in some cases, this is necessary. Recognize that the later you work and the less sleep you have, the longer it’s going to take for you to complete the task as your ability to remain focused will diminish. Prioritize sleep over everything else as this is the time for your body and mind to recover. The higher the quality of your sleep, the greater your focus will be.

6. Stop Multitasking

Multitasking is an approach that sounds very appealing, but in reality, it often results in starting lots of tasks but finishing none of them. When working, the temptation to multitask increases as you jump from email to Slack and back to the presentation you’re working on. Working this way, you’re never fully present in any of them as you’re always thinking about where to move next. To increase the quality of your work, dedicate time to one thing, and do that one thing well before you move on. By doing this, you’ll find it easier to maintain your focus since you’ve given yourself the time to focus on that one thing only. Focusing on a single task isn’t just working on a single report or document; it can also be reviewing and replying to emails as long as that is all you’re doing. Find that one thing, focus, and get it done. In the long term, you get more done, and the work you’ll produce will be of higher quality.

7. Caffeine Works but Don't Rely on It

Caffeine consumption is shown to improve memory and cognitive function. One study by the Department of Psychiatry and Clinical Psychobiology at the University of Barcelona found that caffeinated drinks, when taken with glucose, actually improves cognitive function as we age when it comes to attention and memory.((BMED Report: Combined Consumption Of Caffeine And Glucose Improves The Efficiency Of Brain Activity)) So caffeine is excellent if you can't focus, but if you drink too much of it and too late in the day, it can impact your sleep and increase anxiety. Less sleep decreases your ability to focus, and if you’re already stressed, the adrenaline spikes it produces can have the opposite effect you’re after. So, drink caffeine in moderation, and don’t rely on it solely as your way of keeping focus.

8. Take a Walk

Talking a walk during a particularly busy time may seem counterproductive as you may feel that you don’t have time for it. However, giving your mind a rest and a bit of a reset can improve your productivity and your work performance. Research published in the International Journal of Advances in Chemical Engineering and Biological Sciences states that some exposure to daylight enhances your attention, as well as your work performance.((International Journal of Advances in Chemical Engineering and Biological Sciences: Natural Light and Productivity: Analyzing the Impacts of Daylighting on Students’ and Workers’ Health and Alertness)) So, getting some sunlight and combining that with a short walk can improve your performance and it’s good for you.

9. Drink More of the Good Stuff

When you’re really busy, it’s easy to forget to drink water, especially when you’re on a roll with a particular piece of work. Drinking water though is vital to maintaining focus because your brain needs it. Your brain is made up of 75% water, but it doesn’t store any of that, so it needs a constant flow to be able to carry out every conscious function, including your memory and the ability to concentrate. A study by the University of Westminster found that drinking just 300ml of water can increase your attention by 20%!((Oxbridge Essays: How drinking water increases your concentration)) That's a huge increase, so make sure you always have a bottle of water alongside you while you work.

10. Remove Distractions

We have so many distractions around us, and many of these, like mobile phones, are so ingrained in our lives that they’re almost part of us. If you can't focus, recognizing the distractions around you can improve your concentration. For example, a clean desk and working space reduce the temptation to stop and tidy up. A tidy workspace also helps you relax because there is less to think about when working. Turn off all notifications on your mobile and laptop while working, either in short bursts or longer ones if you can. This includes the badge on the app showing how many unread messages you have. Close down any applications on your laptop you’re not using, and go full screen with the one you’re working on to minimize all distractions. Have a clean desktop and only one or two tabs open if you’re working in your browser. This is the same as having a clean working environment; it keeps you focused on the task at hand.

11. Don’t Read the News!

“Don’t read the news" is an attention-grabbing headline, but what it means is don’t read it before you’re about to work on a task that requires you to have deep focus. The news is typically a pretty depressing read, so why lump that on your brain before you begin? Creating additional worry isn’t going to help your focus. If you can't focus in the first place, this will only worsen it. So, if you do love to read the news, then reward yourself with a break once you’ve completed the task at hand.

12. Meditate for Greater Focus

Our minds have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day or 2500 to 3300 per hour. So, at times, you can understand why it’s hard to focus. Many times during the day our minds are lost in thought making in our ability to focus even harder. Meditation helps you reduce the continuous "what might have been" or "what will happen" thoughts. With regular practice, it can improve your concentration levels and reduce stress and anxiety, allowing you to focus for longer.

13. Listen to Music That Match Your Mood and Work

Music can have a positive effect on your concentration levels if you find the right type of music to listen to. Music is also a great way to remove distractions around you like noisy work colleagues. Depending on your preference and mood, music can help you relax if you’re working on a particularly stressful task or help you stay focused for long periods.((North Central University: Can Music Help You Study and Focus?)) Pre-prepare some playlists that you can access when you need them to match your mood and work type.

14. Eat the Frog

"Eat the Frog" describes doing the hardest task first and by doing it, everything is going to easier after that.((Brian Tracy International: Eat That Frog: Brian Tracy Explains the Truth About Frogs)) By regularly tackling the hardest task first, it can become addictive as your productivity and confidence will go through the roof. By merely doing harder tasks, you force yourself to learn faster. So, not only you will improve, but those around you will benefit as well.

15. Reward Yourself

We’ve all heard of the carrot on the stick to keep the donkey moving. An incentive to stay motivated and focused no matter how small the temptation gives you a positive mindset when trying to stay focused. This is because you know you’ll not only finish the task, but you’ll also get your reward. Balance the reward with the difficulty and size of the task. For example, consider a tough task that will take you 2 hours to finish. You could give yourself the reward of switching off work entirely for 20 minutes and having a slice of cake. Or consider a longer, more demanding project you’re trying to finish. Once you complete it, you can buy yourself that new gadget you always wanted. Write these rewards down and put them somewhere visible to remind you to stay focused. A Post-It on your laptop or desk, or place it on something you may be distracted by like your mobile or fridge.

16. Break the Task Down

When starting a big task, it can often feel overwhelming, which results in you looking for anything to do other than this task. You can put it off, but all this does is make it harder to complete as you have less time to do it, and your anxiety and stress levels increase. It’s always better to start something than to put it off, so begin by breaking the task down into more straightforward, more manageable tasks. You shouldn’t feel bad that you’re doing the easier tasks first as what you’re doing is creating momentum. The momentum tasks start to break down the tougher, more significant overall tasks, making it not look quite so bad as you’re making progress. The momentum you gain then helps you keep your focus as your anxiety decreases due to the progress you’re making.

17. Exercise First

If you can't focus, doing even a small amount of exercise can help as it can get rid of any restlessness you may have, or give you that boost of energy you may need to get going. You don’t have to do a long run or work out to get this impact; it could be some press-ups, star jumps, or anything that will get your heart rate up. If you have a particularly hard task to work on, then this is a great way to get you alert and ready to start working.

18. Ask Yourself: What Will Happen If I Don’t Do These?

Thinking about the negative impacts of what will happen if you don’t work on and complete this task is a great way to force yourself to stay focused. Think about how you’ll feel or how those around you will feel if you put the task off Will your confidence take a hit? Will it delay their work? Will they be frustrated with you? Another approach is to think of the positive things that will result in completing this task. What will it allow you to do when you’ve finished? How will you feel and how will it affect those around you?

19. Collaborate With Someone

Collaboration is a great way to maintain focus for several reasons. The first is by simply working with someone, you’re more likely to work longer and harder yourself. Collaboration helps you focus since you know you’re not alone on this task, making it feel less overwhelming. You can truly immerse yourself in what you need to do, knowing the task is also progressing with your partner. For the moments when you get stuck or are not sure what to do next, collaboration keeps you progressing as you work on the problem together. Working independently in these situations can often result in you stopping completely.

20. Set a Deadline

Setting a deadline can have a massive impact on your concentration. By making this small promise to yourself, you’ve created a target in your head you must meet. When you then have those moments of distraction, that deadline will pop into your head as a reminder for you to stay focused. To increase the impact of setting a deadline, tell a friend or work colleague what your deadline is and what you need to complete it. You’ll have an even greater reason to complete the task in hand because you won’t want to tell that friend you haven’t done it.

The Bottom Line

The ability to focus for great lengths of time can't be fixed in an instant or in a single way. The good news is that there are many things that you can practice that will, over time, allow you to have a deeper focus for extended periods, so your productivity will go through the roof. If you can't focus, you can just do these things to help you. Combine these with great sleep, a good diet, and staying hydrated and before you know it, it will feel like you have more hours in the day than before.

Read These Too If You Can't Focus

• How to Focus and Maximize Your Productivity (the Definitive Guide)
• How to Not Get Distracted: 10 Practical Tips to Sharpen Your Focus
• 15 Quick Ways To Focus on Work Easily

10 Conflict Resolution Skills Every Manager Needs

Intellectually, many of us know that conflict is a part of life. We know that conflict can spur deeper understanding and stronger relationships. Yet, whenever conflict arises, it puts some of us on our heels. When disagreements emerge, we are left wondering how to address them while keeping the relationship intact. This is where conflict resolution skills come in ((Attitudes and Social Cognition: What We Want Is What We Get: Group-Based Emotional Preferences and Conflict Resolution)) If you are leading a team or working closely with others, here are 10 conflict resolution skills every manager needs.

1. Communicate Early and Often

To reduce misunderstandings and ambiguity, communicate your intentions and desires. Ask what your colleagues need to work their best, and do your part to meet their needs or – at a minimum – avoid doing that which you know will cause harm. If you suspect conflict in the relationship, address it swiftly. Problems do not go away on their own. Failing to act when you see a potential problem can create problems down the line.

2. Listen Actively

Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to know that when they speak, when they take the time to share what is on their mind, the person with whom they are communicating listens. Active listening is a required step for conflict resolution. Active listening is listening to what is verbally and nonverbally communicated. Is it listening for intent and for understanding((Communication Research: The Impact of Mindfulness on Empathy, Active Listening, and Perceived Provisions of Emotional Support)). Often, conflicts arise because two parties misunderstand or mishear what the other person is saying. Active listening helps ensure that the sender and receiver understand one another. This is half the battle when it comes to resolving conflicts. Given the prevalence of email and remote working, especially considering the COVID-19 health crisis, active listening is critical. Email and text communications are tricky because intent and tone are difficult to gauge in them. Team members will have to work extra hard to ensure that they hear what their colleagues are communicating, thereby reducing the chance for conflict.

3. Use “I” Statements

To reduce conflict, focus on how you feel. Focus on how an action has impacted you. Speak from your experience and understand that your experience is not a universal truth. Just because you feel a certain way does not mean your colleagues do. Furthermore, when you use “I” statements, you reduce the chance of overgeneralizing, which can add gasoline to the fire. If you are in a disagreement and you tell the person who has caused harm that they impacted everyone – versus telling them that they impacted you – you may illicit a defensive reaction from the individual. Instead, focus on you and what you feel and need. This will reduce conflict by keeping tempers calm.

4. Understand What Is Yours

Have you ever gotten into an argument, and the source of your upset was something you have long struggled with? Perhaps you have struggled with being heard. You have felt as if others do not hear you when you communicate. Regardless of where you go, you carry this sensitivity with you. And guess what? It does not take much for others to rouse your anger if you even suspect that they are not hearing you. When this happens and you find yourself angry over your feelings about not being heard, step back and ask yourself whether that really is the case or whether your history is influencing your reaction in this moment. Ask yourself if the person with whom you have a conflict is yourself and your history or the apparent offending party. Sometimes we get upset with people over things that really do not concern them. Get to the root of what is bothering you or the other person. Sometimes conflict has nothing to do with the current issue – it stems from something that happened at home, bad news or an unrelated interpersonal upset.

5. Don't Take Things Personally

When Don Miguel Ruiz wrote “The Four Agreements,”((Don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements)) he cautioned us against taking things personally. As much as I admire his work, I must admit that this piece of advice is difficult to follow. Yet, it is imperative that we learn not to take things personally. In the same ways that our lives are all-consuming to us, other people have enough in their lives to keep them occupied. When people behave poorly, it may hurt and disappoint us, but their behavior reflects where they are. It truly has nothing to do with us. A friend of mine is going through a rough patch. She feels isolated and overwhelmed as a single mother. I invited her to a party and was initially perturbed when she did not respond. I thought to myself, “That isn’t like her.” I thought about it for a few days before I decided to reach out and check on her. When she responded, she shared being in the fog of depression and struggling to complete even the most basic daily tasks. Guess what? She was barely doing life, let alone thinking about the invitation that she may or may not have seen. Her reaction had nothing to do with me. It was rooted in her own struggles at the time.

6. Give up the Need to Be Right

The ego has an insatiable appetite. It wants to be right 100% of the time. When conflicts arise, give up on the need to be right. Be willing to be wrong. If you fight to be right, you may have incentive to keep the conflict going. Furthermore, if you need to be right, your objective becomes defending your position versus getting to the root of the conflict. If you want to reduce or resolve conflict, do not be vested in being right.

7. Speak With People Who Can Make a Change

I get that venting feels good. I understand that everyone wants to be affirmed. But when conflicts arise, it is best to communicate solely with people who have the power to influence change. This will ensure that there is meaningful action toward resolution, and it will prevent gossip from flourishing. When you share information with people who have no capacity to help, you could do reputational harm to the person with whom you are experiencing conflict. And while you and this person may eventually resolve your challenge, the seeds of discord that you have sown will trail the person indefinitely.

8. Identify the Root of the Conflict

For people who have repeated conflict, there is likely an unresolved or unidentified root issue. In this instance, conflict resolution can only happen once both parties get to the root of their challenges. The root could stem from something that happened years or decades earlier. It could stem from something completely unbeknownst to one party. But it is essential to identify the thing from which future problems could arise.

9. Seek Appropriate Intervention

Sometimes conflict is so deep-rooted that third-party intervention is needed. The intervention could come in the form of a therapist, counselor, or trusted adviser. If you have tried unsuccessfully to resolve conflict, seek intervention from a qualified and objective third party.

10. Lead With How You Feel

For some of us, being vulnerable is second nature. For others, showcasing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. For people in the latter camp, it is better to express anger than to say, “Hey, I felt hurt when this happened, and I am wondering if you could help me with it …” When something upsets you, ask why. Then lead with how you feel. This will enable the person with whom you are upset to better understand how you feel and what you need.

Final Thoughts

If you follow these 10 steps and find that conflict is still present, think about how you can restructure the engagement so that you spend as little time as possible with the offending party. It is true that conflict is a part of life. Conflict shows up in our families, in our personal relationships as well as in our professional relationships. And guess what? Working remotely will not eliminate conflict. It is as guaranteed as the taxes you are required to pay. But with these 10 steps, conflict does not have to be the end of a work relationship, but rather the door to improve it.

More Tips on Conflict Resolution Skills

• 7 Sure-Fire Tips for Conflict Resolution
• 11 Tips on How to Resolve (Almost) Any Conflict in the Workplace
• How To Handle Personality Conflicts At Work