Have you thought about your next high school reunion and how you can't wait to share what a phenomenal life you're living? Oh wait, is your life actually kind of average and non-spectacular? Maybe you've even had the thought, where is my life headed? Let's jump in to see how you can break free and live by design. How exactly can you live by design and create a life you love?
You start with the right mindset. Also, you want to get very clear on what you desire. Equally as important, you must believe it's possible. It's easier said than done, but it's absolutely achievable with the right tools.
1. Get Clear on What Makes You Tick
Think of times when a topic made you spitting mad or so happy your heart swelled. These intense emotions have been elicited because it hit a
core value chord. Romantic squeezes are fantastic at helping us discover these feelings. Political arguments also bring out our most protected values. Heated disagreements over how to raise kids are the perfect example. You may believe your kids will be more fabulous if they learn to play an instrument. However, your partner is headstrong on making your children the next Olympic superstars. This scenario reveals that one of your core values revolves around intellect, music, academics, or possibly prestige. The key is peeling back the layers to reveal the underlying ideology that is driving your emotions. Why does climate change concern you? Is it fear for your children's future? If so, your core value may be protecting your family.
Why Do I Get So Emotional?
When we feel immensely angry or frustrated, it's because we are protecting a core value. Financial stability, safety, religion, helping others, acceptance, respect, and independence are all examples of core values. Of course, positive feelings show us our most revered ethics, too. Seeing a happy family; having great success at work; learning a new concept, are all things to pay attention to. Think of who you admire most and why. What traits or accomplishments are most impressive to you?
How Do Core Values Help You Live by Design?
When you align your intrinsic values with what you want in life, your chances of success are far higher. Your deeply held principles will help you persevere when times are tough. They will also create a sense of fulfillment. On the flip side, if your big goals don’t support your ideals, it'll be easy to run for the hills when things get tough.
Learn From Those Who Got It Right
Growing up, Oprah Winfrey wanted to be a teacher to inspire students to achieve their greatest potential. Can you see how she incorporated this value into creating the wildly successful OWN Network((Oprah:
Every Person Has A Purpose))? Microsoft is another example of alignment. Bill Gates had a mission of putting a PC in every home in America. His core value was winning. Winning was instilled in him as a child. His parents encouraged their children to compete against each other. Right or wrong, his sense of rising to the top incessantly drove his actions. Blake Mycoskie, the founder of Tom's Shoes, became inspired after meeting some women at a bar in Argentina((CNBC:
This entrepreneur set out to do good over making money, but still earned hundreds of millions of dollars)). They were distributing shoes to needy children, and he decided to lend a hand. Although I doubt his intentions started completely altruistic, the experience struck a chord with his ideologies. Tom's Shoes was valued at $625 million, as of 2018.
2. It Has to Be Love
Figuring out
what you're passionate about is the next step. If you don't know this, think about your profound interests or hobbies. Ask yourself:
- What are you most curious about?
- What captivates your daydreams?
- When have you felt your heart sing?
Brainstorm and write everything down. Go back and circle similar items. Is there a theme? Use this exercise to unlock ideas about how you can incorporate your passions or interests into your future.
3. Stay in Your Zone of Genius
If you want to get things done with less effort and more enjoyment as you live by design, operate from your Zone of Genius (ZOG). Your ZOG represents your natural-born gifts((Forbes:
How To Get Into The "Zone Of Genius" And Unlock Your Highest Potential)). When you spend most of your time working from this space, it takes less mental effort. Are you the person people come to when they need creative ideas? Do you thrive on numbers and data? Is writing your thing? Also, you need to be aware of the areas you aren't gifted in! Do you break out in hives at the thought of bookkeeping? Are you one who likes the idea of organization, but would lose your head if it wasn't attached? No judgment! However, you want to find workarounds for these areas that you're not as strong in. As you're designing your future, make sure to structure it around your ZOG, and avoid your weaknesses as much as possible.
The 80/20 Rule
Stay in your ZOG 80% of the time, allowing only 20% to work in your less valued areas. This equation will allow you to thrive more quickly and with far less pain!
4. Watch out for Saboteurs
You may be cruising along. Motivation is high, and you can visualize your end game as you try to live by design. Out of nowhere, a saboteur clobbers you in your tracks. The saboteur may be disguised as
procrastination, overwhelm, fear, or resistance.
How to Overcome Saboteurs
Gay Hendricks, in his book
The Big Leap, discusses the concept of upper limit problems. We all have a comfort zone designed to protect us from embarrassment, shame, and condemnation. When we push ourselves to a new level of success, we have to break through our imaginary safety guidelines. Hendricks calls these obstacles our upper limit problems. If you feel resistance or any of the saboteur's effects mentioned above, it's a great sign! It means you're stretching outside of your safety zone. Embrace these challenges as positive signs, and quickly find ways to persevere. The more you overcome your upper limit problems, the higher your self-confidence and success will be! Enlist a coach, mentor, or respected friend to help you find ways to navigate the saboteur's hooks.
5. Create Your Blueprint to Live by Design
Your final step is to create a blueprint with benchmarks. This exercise will help you remain on track. Furthermore, it will feel more tangible as you work toward your goals. I have my clients set up 90-day goals, and we work backward from there. Set up
small objectives, which lead you to your ultimate goal. Breakdown what needs to happen weekly. Try to achieve at least one big part of your goal each week. Examples can be getting TV interviews, hiring for an important position, contacting an influential person, etc. Remember, as you continue on this journey, your excitement will build as your mini-goals are achieved.
The Bottom Line
By weaving together your core values, passion, and Zone of Genius, you'll be well on your way to creating a fulfilling, exciting future. Remain aware of your saboteurs, and be ready to take them down when you sense them. Enjoy creating your blueprint to live by design, as this is your map to the incredible life you're stepping into!
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