If you’re looking for something serious and don’t want to contribute to divorce statistics, besides all those boxes that you’d like to tick about your future husband, this is one that you should pay especial attention to. That is if you want to be a little more sure about your husband than you are buying your avocados.
If you’re looking for a long-term partner, you need to look for someone who’s used to long-term devotion and endurance in different areas of life, not just romantic love. When approximately half of American marriages end up in divorce, in our culture of instant gratification, that’s no surprise.According to recent studies, the passion and determination to pursue long-term goals is a powerful predictor of whether someone will drop out in the tough times of a relationship or succeed to live through the stormy phases. What some researchers call “the grit effect” is not only a variable to retention in marriage, but also in the military, workplace sales, and high school.[1]
Those who show grit, are more likely to succeed in marriage and other areas of life.
Those who experience frustration, doubt and confusion not as a sign that it’s time to quit, but are just natural phases of a learning process, are much more likely to maintain loyalty to their goals. This is why lifetime educational attainment is correlated with grit, and inversely with lifetime career changes and divorce.[2]
Perceiving frustration as a natural part of a learning process is a healthy trait.
In the same way, people who are grittier tend to regard problems as challenges, rather than feeling frustrated and worn out by the stress of battling the problem, and they tend to be more proactive in the pursuit of a solution.[3]
Interestingly, having this characterising of being able to teeth-gritting through the tough times seems to pay off, as demonstrated in a study by the Marriage Foundation. In this study, 7 out of 10 of the unhappy parents who manage to stay together reported to be happy 10 years on after the storm; 27% of these reported being “extremely happy.”[4]
Pays off to stay together through the tough times.
So if you’re considering whether your boyfriend is husband material or not, you might want to look at his past and see if there’s a pattern of keeping a devotion to his long-term goals, or if there’s a pattern of constant quitting. That will give you a good idea of whether he’ll have what it takes to survive through the rough times or if he’s likely to drop out.
You can never be too sure of how life will turn out and how much you and your partner will change with it. But when the years start to pass, responsibilities start to weigh and every day starts to look the same, that’s when being with a strong, gritty man, and being a gritty woman yourself, will play a significant role in the success or failure of your marriage.
You can’t predict the future, but personality can tell you a lot.
If you’re both devoted and passionate people who have been resisting tough times and persevering on the pursuit of your goals, chances are you’re going to live happily ever after.
Do you have grit? Do you believe your significant other is gritty as well? Are there other qualities other than grit you feel determines the success of a relationship?
Reference
| [1] | ^ | Frontiers in Psychology: The grit effect: predicting retention in the military, the workplace, school and marriage |
| [2] | ^ | Authentic Happiness: Grit and Self-Control |
| [3] | ^ | Authentic Happiness: Grit and Self-Control |
| [4] | ^ | Marriage Foundation: For better, for worse: staying in an unhappy marriage could be the best thing you do |
The post This Quality Of Your Man Can Predict Whether Your Marriage Will Last Or Not appeared first on Lifehack.
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