We need a licence as a proof of qualification for driving, teaching, doctoring and many more things. We believe that these things require professional qualification because it’ll be dangerous to have unqualified people perform these jobs.
Parenting is not an easy job. How a child is raised shape the kind of person they become in future. But despite the fact that parents have a very great impact on their children, no license is needed for being a parent.
Even the basic needs for a child can be a great challenge for parents.
You must have heard about the many sleepless nights a parent has to get over when their baby wakes up in the middle of the night crying for food; or the many times a toddler just want to be held in the arms instead of walking in the street even though the parent is already exhausted after a whole day out playing with the child etc.
Children depend on their parents for pretty much everything ranging from basic survival needs to care and guidance. They need attention and parents simply can’t ignore the attention their children need.
Aside from the basic survival needs such as feeding and accommodation; responsible parents should be aware of the children’s development too.
To teach children the right attitudes and values, parents have to be good role models.
Children tend to learn about morality from their family, so parents are responsible for being a role model and demonstrate the appropriate values to children. If a parent wants to teach their child about the importance of being honest, they should demonstrate honesty in front of them.
As children grow bigger and reach the stage of teenagers, it may be difficult for parents to communicate with them. Teens start to become aware of their individuality, and tend to question or even challenge their parents’ authority[1] but this can be a great chance for parents to demonstrate their communication skills and respect of individuality when they try to talk with their young boys or girls.
Parents should show that they’re willing to listen to their children and openly talk about their thoughts. It is hard, but patience is the key to maintaining a good parent and child relationship here. When children feel that they’re being respected, and that their parents are treating them and talking with them like an adult, they’re more willing to talk about their issues and will also show respect to their parents and other family members.
Parenting is always about striking a balance; and it’s never easy even for anyone who’s not a parent.
Children are not like machines; there isn’t a standard way to input data that automagically leads to desirable ‘outcomes’. Parents have to learn how to properly nurture their children by striking a balance about discipline and freedom; and very often, they have to learn on the go by observation and accumulating experiences.
A good parent is able to be strict about certain boundaries while at the same time allowing their child plenty of freedom to explore and learn on their own.[2] Setting boundaries which the child must stay within teaches them to respect others and to control themselves; on the other hand, giving a child enough room to develop themselves shows that the parent respects and trusts them.
After all, learning through experience is crucial to building a person’s character.
Bad parenting will have tremendous consequences, for both the children and the society.
We can look at an extreme example of this: in 2011, an 11-year-old was involved in a gun-relating crime, and was arrested for that.
Columbia County Juvenile Court Judge Doug Flanagan said,[3]
I think we attribute it to parents who need to pay more attention to their children. The problem almost always starts at home. Some role models set poor standards for behavior and are unaware of their children’s habits.
Another example is, in 2009, a 6-year-old crashed his family’s car in an attempt to drive himself to school after missing the bus because his mother was sleeping at home.[4] The boy allegedly “learned to drive” by playing the M-rated video game GTA.
These are just a few of millions of unfortunate stories of parents who set their children wrong boundaries and do not care for their needs as they should have, and ruin their future as a result. And good parenting can prevent all these from happening.
Besides all the challenges in raising children, parents have to make sacrifices in life, especially their pleasures.
This is particularly true for a new parent.
Besides all the necessities such as diapers, day-care, and medicine that parents have to spend on the children, they have to change the way they live and make sacrifices to a certain extent.
A good parent has to be willing to give up a lot of good nights’ sleep, the times to hang out with friends and the quiet ‘me time’ to just rest and do nothing.
Parents probably can’t have the used-to-be romantic times with just the couple having a dinner date or going out for a movie any more because most of their time and energies are spent on being with the children, and they simply prefer resting than any kinds of dating activities. It’s also hard for them to just put off their lovely children for some times.
However, going through the hardship of raising a child can also be an invaluable opportunity for the couple to understand themselves and each other better.
Parenting is not easy; but nothing worth it comes easy.
Now that you understand the many challenges that a parent faces, what do you think about the idea of having a parent’s license?
Even though there’s no licence for being a parent right now, parents should hold themselves accountable. Parenting should always be taken seriously and it’s good for parent-to-be to get better prepared before they welcome their children.
For instance, they can read books on parenting, join some parenting workshops and learn from other parents’ experiences. They can also look up to their own parents as role models, and reflect on their own childhood experiences.
But the lesson here is that, parenting is an art that can’t be underrated, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to the challenges of parenting.
Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io
Reference
| [1] | ^ | NoBullying.com: The Importance of Parenting Skills in Raising a Family |
| [2] | ^ | NoBullying.com: The Importance of Parenting Skills in Raising a Family |
| [3] | ^ | The Augusta Chronicle: Poor Parenting Leads Youth to Violent Crime |
| [4] | ^ | Lisa Belkin: Should Parenting Require a License? |
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