How to Love Someone in the Way They Need

When I turned 30, my husband threw me a "surprise" party. I add quotes because my husband can't keep a secret, no matter how hard he tries. He thought that by throwing me a surprise party he was showing how much he loved me. He actually believed I'd be thrilled beyond words. He couldn't have been more wrong. Here's the thing: I don't like surprises. And I don't like parties. Furthermore, as an introvert by nature, I don't like being around large groups of people. An ideal "party" for me would have been a quiet dinner with just the family, or a couple of close friends. We speak very different love languages, my husband and I. He planned a big gala affair because that's what he would have liked. He honestly imagined I'd like it, too. A party of 30 people was not my idea of being loved in the way I would have liked being loved. To his credit, however, it was early on in our relationship, and he wasn't yet in tune to the love language I spoke. He knows better than to try something like that today. Even though I wasn't thrilled about the party, I didn't say so, not until much later in our marriage. I really appreciated how hard he tried to please me, to make me happy, and to celebrate a milestone birthday. He attempted to show his love in the best way he knew how, and for that, I was grateful. Love—it's a big word. It's one that stirs up big feelings. However, query anyone about love and its meaning, and you'll more than likely catch that someone stumbling all over themselves in an effort to do it succinctly. I mean, how do you describe a word that carries with it so many possible manifestations? There is no easy way.

What Is Love?

The word love is both a noun and a verb. In relationships, be that as it may, it is mostly demonstrated with some type of action, subtle or grand, but an action, nonetheless, making it very much a verb. Love and its multiple meanings leave its expression ample room for creativity. Because it can be expressed in so many ways, it can often leave lovers disappointed in its wake if not received in the anticipated way. Based on disparate backgrounds and world views, people feel love and show love in a myriad of contrasting ways. If you and your partner speak love in the same manner, no problem. You will both be quite happy, satisfied, and in tune with each other. But if you don't, then a little talk might be in order. If you want to have your intimate emotional needs((Medium: Top 5 Emotional Needs in Intimate Relationships)) met, letting your partner know the ways in which you feel loved is important. It's also salient to understand the way in which they express their love. One way is not better than the other. It just has to do with personal preference and feelings of familiarity. Talking about your expectations eliminates the guess work of how to communicate your love to each other. It allows you both to tune into the same channel; you'll get along and feel as though you're getting your love needs met. People are different, and so respond differently to displays of affection, however they may manifest. An important question to ask yourself is, "How do I feel most loved?" And, "How does my partner?" Both have to be addressed and implemented in your relationship if you want it to thrive.

How to Show Love

According to Dr. Gary Chapman((Gary Chapman: The 5 Love Languages)), author of The Five Love Languages, he states that there are five basic ways to communicate your love to your partner. Let me break those down for you. This will give you a glimpse into the many ways you can show your partner you love them, in the way they need that to be shown, and vice versa.

1. Words of Affirmation

This love speak has to do with the spoken or written word. If you're with someone whose primary language is affirming words of love, you might want to say (often), "I love you! You're the best thing since sliced bread!" Or leave random notes throughout the house proclaiming your undying love. Loving, sweet texts will work, too. If you're with a partner who needs words of affirmation to feel loved, then make sure to tell them in words, and/or in writing, how you feel. You will have one happy camper on your hands. Working eight hours a day to provide for her/him, or bringing home a bouquet of flowers won't necessarily do the trick. Unless, of course, when you hand over the dozen tulips you look into his/her eyes and say, "I love you more than life! You are my soul mate, my one and all. These flowers pale in comparison to your divine beauty!" Now you're talking. More than the actual saying of the words, it's the meaning behind the words that matter most. If your partner speaks this language, they need to know you appreciate them with open and honest communication. Make sure you praise, encourage, tell, write—whatever you can—to express your love. That will have a beautiful impact on your relationship. Remember, however, that negative words((Psychology Today: Why This Word Is So Dangerous to Say or Hear)) can have a very strong impact in the other direction, so be very mindful of what you say and how you say it.

2. Acts of Service

The sweetest words I can hear are, "I'll take care of that for you!" Those words make me feel more loved than any other, especially when it relieves me of having to do a stressful task. This is definitely my primary love language. I have major issues with laziness, or someone who doesn't follow through with their commitments. If your partner is like me, then you're going to want to discover where their needs lie. Try to pay attention to the small things in your relationship, and remember them! Bring these up at the correct time to surprise them and make them feel special. They'll appreciate that you took the time to notice what kind of restaurant they like or what movie they like to watch on the weekends((Very Well Mind: How to Use Acts of Service in Your Relationship)). If that's not enough, look around...does something around the house need fixing? Can you help out by making the bed or doing the dishes? Maybe filling up a flat tire on their bike? If your partner's primary love language is acts of service—anything that can take the load off—then find a way to do just that. Your honey will be extremely grateful, trust me.

3. Receiving Gifts

Every time my son would FaceTime with his girlfriend, he noticed her struggle to unravel her tangled earbuds. It would always take her several minutes to get situated. So, when he showed up at her house with a pair of wireless earbuds, she was blown away. For a person whose primary love language is receiving gifts, it's more than just the gift itself. My son's girlfriend was wowed because she recognized the thought behind the gift. He was paying attention to her needs. By giving her that gift, he was speaking her language of love. She knew that it came from the heart and his desire to not see her struggle. Without really realizing its importance, my son did a great thing for her. She felt happy, secure, and like someone was really looking out for her. More than the visual sight of the gift, her overwhelming warm and fuzzy feelings came from his motivation. If your partner feels loved by receiving gifts, know that the gifts do not have to be expensive. Even though this is not my primary language, I appreciate useful items. For example, a friend of mine once gave me three sticks of lip balm. Wow! It's such a small thing when you think about it, but I use those all the time, so it was the perfect gift. Little trinkets here and there serve their purpose. It lets the person know you're thinking about them((Very Well Mind: What the Receiving Gifts Love Language Means for a Relationship)) Don't underestimate their power. As long as the gift is from the heart, it's all good.

4. Quality Time

One-on-one time, undivided attention, and shared activities...if this sounds good to you, then this is your primary love speak. Quality time probably needs a little more attention than the other four ways to show love because it requires, well, time. And it seems like people nowadays are hard-pressed to provide it because they just don't have it, or they claim not to. So, if your partner feels loved by having cozy dinners, just the two of you, cuddling up and watching movies, going for bike rides, or taking long walks, then make the time. This will make your relationship prosper. Your investment of time will pay amazing dividends. Your partner will feel loved and cared for. Even if this is not the favored love language for either of you, it's critical to spend the time with your mate. This will aid in creating a strong and solid relationship. And as you can see above, it doesn't have to be 24/7. If you fancy being out with friends, rock climbing, running marathons, or what-have-you, don't despair. You can do both. You can have your alone time, just as long as you dedicate that much-appreciated couple's time to your partner.

5. Physical Touch

When Dr. Chapman talks about physical touch as being a love language, he's not necessarily referring to touching with sexual undertones. The physical touch to which he is referring is hand holding, a shoulder squeeze, a hand on the back, little touches here and there. My husband's primary love language is physical touch. Mine is not. But because I know that he feels loved by my physical touch, I'll rub his back when I walk by him, or squeeze his hand as we're driving, hug him as we pass each other in the kitchen, etc. Even the smallest acts of touch can go a long way. Even though physical touch is not my preferred love speak, I want my husband to feel loved in the way that he needs, hence I make the effort to make those gestures. His whole demeanor changes. I can feel his happiness through my touch.

Incorporating More Than One Love Language

I want to add here that while a person has a desired love language, they can speak a little bit of the other love languages as well. For instance, your love language might be physical touch, but you still really enjoy receiving gifts, or spending quality time with your partner. It's important to know what language your partner speaks, yes. In this way you can show them you love them in the way that it will be the most meaningful to them. You are not sacrificing anything in the process. You will, however, make a big impact on your partner, create feelings of love, security, and happiness. In contrast... While it's wonderful and essential to show your partner love in the way they need, it is just as important to recognize the way in which your partner feels comfortable expressing their love to you. For instance, if their way of expressing love is by doing acts of service for you, don't make them feel diminished, as though they don't love you simply because they didn't come home with a sparkling tennis bracelet. See the value in what they're doing. If that's the way of expressing their love for you, take it. Understand they don't love you any less; they're just showing it in a different way. Negating their methods will just make them feel bad, create an argument, or just make you look ungrateful. David Braucher, LCSW, Ph.D, writes:

"Maybe it would be hard for them, though I’m not saying they shouldn’t try. But if we are complaining about what we are not getting without appreciating what we do receive, we are rejecting a very intimate part of them. And we don’t want to reject them! We love them. We love that they love us. We just want them to express their love differently—the way we want it."((Psychology Today: Why Doesn’t My Partner Love Me the Way I Want?))

All the love languages are important. You can play around with one or all. One is not better than the other, as I've said. It's important to recognize the way in which we want to be loved and express it, but it goes both ways. Just because your partner forgets your anniversary doesn't mean s/he doesn't love you. It could mean s/he was busy and had a lot on his/her mind.

Final Thoughts

There are many ways to express love. Understanding what your partner needs is essential, but understanding how your partner demonstrates his/her love is just as important. Don't allow your insecurities to manipulate you. If you catch yourself saying, "If s/he loved me, s/he would have..." Not necessarily. Just because someone doesn't express love in the same love language doesn't mean they don't love you. Be grateful for what they do for you and how they express it. Love is the universal language. It can be spoken in many different ways. Allow room in your relationship to speak as many as you can. After all, love is love!

More on How to Love Someone

• 26 Romantic Ways to Show Your Love for Someone
• How to Love: 14 Ways to Be a More Loving Partner
• Why You and Your Partner Don’t Need to Speak the Same Love Language to Stay Together

21 Best Vegan Snacks for The Afternoon Slump

The food industry has seen a monumental rise in the past few years. The idea of “fast food” and “snacks for munching” has replaced the traditional meals and food dishes. These flavor-packed foods have attracted the attention of young ones and adults likewise. However, over the years, as a result of awareness, people have chosen to shift to healthier and vegan alternatives for snacking. Luckily, food experts have come up with unique flavors and combinations that will serve your cravings through healthy ingredients. The best vegan snacks have managed to gain popularity amongst vegan and non-vegan consumers. If you are looking to fill up your snack rack with delicious vegan munchies, then keep reading as we have the “ultimate vegan snack” list prepared for you, which will make every serious foodie fall in love. This list includes options from Fair Trade Certified chocolate bars to Non-GMO flavorful and real ingredients. From serious foodies to professional dieticians, I have taken each of their recommendations into consideration and have made sure to present products that are clean, full of nutrients, and delicious enough to give you a food coma. 

1. LARABAR

First on our list of vegan snack bars is the Larabar, though it’s not technically a bar. The company promotes this particular brand as a cashew cookie as well. Regardless, it’s made out of whole foods and uses 2 core ingredients: cashews and dates. It’s not going to taste like a traditional cookie, but it is vegan friendly since it’s Gluten-free, non-GMO, vegan, soy-free, dairy-free. Buy this vegan snack!

2. RAW REV

For those getting into their vegan diet and in need of a quick snack on the go, a simpler option is Raw Rev’s bars. These are more on the sugary side with flavors like birthday cake and double chocolate brownie batter. However, they also have other unique flavors with their own benefits. For example, the peanut butter and sea salt bars have lots of protein in them. The whole emphasis of these bars is to have good taste wrapped in a bar that’s still vegan friendly. I’d recommend these for those getting into a vegan diet as a middle ground since there are 2 grams of sugar in each bar, which is high for nutritional bars. Buy this vegan snack!

3. WICKEDLY

Straying a bit away from nutritional bars, you’ve got Wickedly’s peanut butter pretzels. This is an Amazon brand exclusive so you won’t find these in other stores. That said, these best vegan snacks have no sugar in them. Their main ingredients are wheat, peanut butter, and salt. Buy this vegan snack!

4. BARNEY Almond Butter

The food industry has changed a lot. For the longest time, companies pushed peanut butter and only that. But now that there has been more research and we’ve uncovered that some are allergic to peanuts, there are lots of alternatives. Almond butter is one of those alternatives. Even if you don’t have a peanut allergy, almond butter is still incredible and healthy as well. Barney’s particular brand focuses on providing only the essential ingredients, avoiding the addition of sugar and salt to most other kinds of butter around. Buy this vegan snack!

5. LUNA BAR

Plant-based products have also grown in popularity with plant-based meat making a huge wave in recent years. Luna’s bars are along the same vein as they focus on making plant-based health snacks. They offer between 8 and 9 grams of protein per bar and a host of flavors to pick from like lemon, sea salt caramel, and white chocolate macadamia, among others. Buy this vegan snack!

6. NOCOW

For those who are on the plant-based vegan snack train but want more protein, I’d turn to Nocow’s brand. With a single bar providing 21 grams of plant-based protein, you can easily reach your protein amount with no problem. If the amount of protein is concerning, rest easy because these bars are certified kosher, dairy-free, low on carbs and sugar, and Keto friendly as well. Buy this vegan snack!

7. PURE BARS

Another good contender for high protein is the Pure bars. These gluten-free bars boast 21 grams of protein per bar and come in a pack of 12. They also offer a wide range of flavors. Regardless of the flavors though, you do have to be mindful of the sugar intake. Funny enough, the flavors that contain fruit have higher sugar count than the bars that are chocolate flavored. If you want the least amount of sugar, try the Lemon Cake with only 2 grams of sugar per bar. Buy this vegan snack!

8. KELLOG’S NUTRI GRAIN

These bars have been around for decades. You probably have had these growing up as well. Well, these bars are still around and they are still quite healthy. The fruit in the bars is pureed, and the bar itself it’s wrapped around provides 8 essential vitamins. It’s perfect for morning fuel. Buy this vegan snack!

9. KELLOG’S RICE KRISPIES

Another staple to kid’s lunch boxes is the Rice Krispies squares. Similar to the Nutri-grain bars, these are higher in sugar than others. However, these are still vegan friendly considering the few ingredients that are used to make these. As an adult, these are still quite sweet and a good alternative for those who need a sugar fix and don’t want to feel guilty about it later. Buy this vegan snack!

10. GOLDFISH SNACKS

The classic fish that smiles back is another childhood familiar for those who had kids or grew up in the early 1990s. These of course don’t have any sugar, but they do contain salt. Though considering the size of each goldfish, it’s not something to be overly concerned about if you’re having them as a snack. The pack I suggest is the 30 pack which comes with a mixture of three flavors - including the classic cheddar flavor. Buy this vegan snack!

11. SNYDER PRETZEL STICKS

If you love goldfish but are looking for something with less gluten in it, one option is Snyder’s pretzel sticks. They don’t have any cheese flavored ones, but you can still get your salt needs while having something slightly healthier to munch on. Each bag contains 100 calories, so be mindful of how many bags you take. Buy this vegan snack!

12. QUEST COOKIES

Vegan cookies are hard to come by with many companies opting for bars. That said, Quest Cookies is one that makes cookies that you’ll be sure to fall in love with. What’s also surprising is that despite this being a cookie, there’s less than a gram of sugar per cookie and about 15 grams of protein! Buy this vegan snack!

13. LOTUS BISCOFF

Another one of the best vegan snacks you can look to is Lotus’s brand of biscuits. These are certified vegan and GMO-free. The flavor is different from other biscuits because it follows European cookie making. Regardless, these are light and easy to snack on for yourself or guests. Buy this vegan snack!

14. POPCHIPS

Normally, chips wouldn’t make it to these lists, but similar to plant-based products on the rise, chip companies have also put in the effort to provide other chip alternatives. They are no longer covered in an insane amount of salt and artificial flavoring. While the chips will certainly have salt, Popchips and other healthy brands will be cutting back considerably on the amount of salt. In this case, these chips have 150 to 160 mg of salt which is about 7% of your daily intake of salt. Furthermore, they also have fewer calories than traditional chips. Buy this vegan snack!

15. HEALTH WARRIOR

Another good contender in our healthy vegan snacks is the Health Warrior brand of bars. The big thing you need to know about them is their prime ingredient is chia seeds. Despite their size, seeds are surprisingly filling and offer a wide variety of nutrients. The only thing you may need to be wary about is that each bar contains about 3 grams of sugar. Aside from that, these can easily be considered as healthy granola bars considering they are plant-based, kosher, vegan-friendly, and verified non-GMO. Buy this vegan snack!

16. GOGO SQUEEZE

One other good snack is apple sauce. It may have been a while since you’ve had some, but it’s still quite tasty. But since then, a lot of companies have emerged to provide their own brand of applesauce. For this section, I want to focus on GoGo’s. They have a unique package (requiring you to squeeze the container to get to the apple sauce) but also ensure the apple sauce is 100% fruit-based. Buy this vegan snack!

17. YUMEARTH

Lollipops can be a dentist’s nightmare, but you won’t run into that situation with Yumearth’s brand. They provide lollipops that are organic. They avoid artificial flavors, dyes, and take pride in having no fructose syrup in them either. They offer a wide range of flavors as well and, above all, are free from the top 8 allergens you can find in most traditional healthy snacks. Buy this vegan snack!

18. HAPPY BABY

Despite the name, this is not baby food of any sort. That said, these are foods that even babies can enjoy if you’re the type of parent who gives sugar-free vegan snacks. What’s nice about these particular products is these are packed with various superfoods, typically a combination of fruit and a vegetable. Despite the unusual combination, these are very healthy, considering the fruits and veggies being superfoods and quite tasty. Buy this vegan snack!

19. BELVITA BREAKFAST

Another option for breakfast biscuits is Belvita’s brand. These have no high-fructose corn syrup and no artificial flavors or sweeteners, making them ideal for vegans and also great in general for breakfast. Buy this vegan snack!

20. KASHI BARS

Have you been searching for the ideal healthy granola bar? Well, look no further than Kashi’s brand of granola bars. \Kashi offers a wide variety of flavors for you to munch on and are overall a feel-good snack. it offers 23 grams of whole grain, 4.5 total fat, and 3 grams of fiber per 40-gram serving. Furthermore, these are quite filling since they also throw chia seeds into the mix.  Buy this vegan snack!

21. CLIF ENERGY BARS

The final item on our best vegan snacks list is the Clif energy bar. This brand is everywhere in stores with the iconic man climbing up the side of the cliff. Clif is designed to give you a lot of protein and fuel. The brand offers a wide variety of flavors and each bar provides roughly 9 grams of protein. The only thing is, convenience does have a price and the only serious drawback from these bars is the 21 grams of sugar in each bar. Consider these as a treat at the end of the month if you really need sugar. Buy this vegan snack!

Final Thoughts

As you can see, there are loads of options for vegan snacks to try out. From familiar brands to other brands you haven’t heard of, each company offers quality bars or other vegan snacks for you to consider. The only thing to be mindful is to not indulge in these too much as some of them have decent sugar and salt amounts but can get out of hand if you munch on too many.

More Tips About Vegan Diet

• 10 Highly Healthy And Delicious Vegan Snacks Recipes
• 10 Unprocessed, Vegan Protein Options
• How Vegan Bodybuilding Diet Keeps Hunger at Bay While Plant Based

7 Powerful Ways To Overcome Obstacles And Win In Life

Obstacles are the stumbling blocks that prevent you from reaching your goals. They are the limiting factors that hinder you from achieving your desired dreams, and you have to overcome these obstacles to move further in life. It's not enough to set goals; you need to actualize your goals. It is at the point of execution that life becomes unbearable as unexpected setbacks and obstacles set in. It is not an understatement to say that every success comes with challenges. Those challenges often come as problems you need to solve. If you can solve them, you can then have the assurance that you can reach your goals.

7 Reasons Why Obstacles Are Important

So why is it important to overcome obstacles? Can you go through life without encountering any limitations? Here are 7 reasons why obstacles are important in life.

1. Obstacles Reveal Your True Identity

Some life challenges will rip you apart. When this occurs, you get to know who you truly are. Sometimes, you don't know your full capabilities and tendencies. Obstacles exist to test you and stretch you beyond limits. The fact is once your limitations and inclinations have been revealed, you can begin to take steps to deal with them so you can win in life. You'll be forced to overcome these obstacles, which will help reveal your true self.

2. Obstacles Direct Your Actions

Someone once said you could walk on water; you only need to know where the stones are placed. The stumbling blocks on your path create a new way to get to the next level or phase. For instance, if someone continually hurts your feeling, the situation allows you to practice the art of forgiveness. Every problem comes with its solution. You only need to shift your perspective to uncover the lessons that challenges have to teach you. No wonder Benjamin Franklin once affirmed that:

The things which hurt, instruct.

Once you receive instructions, learn, and make progress in the directions of your goals.

3. Obstacles Make You Tougher

No one comes with the natural ability to withstand challenges; you have to develop your resilience through life. And don't you ever think everything will come to you on a platter of gold. That only happens in the grave As long as you are here, you'd have to overcome obstacles and surmount difficulties. The essence of obstacles is to toughen you so you can be courageous. It would be best if you dared to change your circumstances - to improve yourself and the world. And if you discover you are losing courage, obstacles can toughen you more so you can move to the next phase.

4. Obstacles Enable You to Focus on What Counts

Not everything counts in life, so you need to focus on your goals and pursue your life missions. Once you are clear about your goals and tasks, every obstacle that comes your way looks smaller and manageable. But when you lack clues and direction, this uncertainty magnifies every limitation and makes your pursuit a massive mountain that you need to climb. The bottom line is that you need to be clear about your goals and focus like a laser so you can surmount the few mountains that deserve your attention.

5. Obstacles Unleash Your Creativity

You don't know how far you can run until you meet a lion in the jungle. That's the beauty of life! Without impediments, you may not reach the untrodden territory. It takes persisting and resisting to learn where others fail because they were impatient. Obstacles are capable of stretching your creative muscles so you can go beyond the limits.

6. Obstacles Help You Find Meaning to Your Life

Your perception of life determines your outcome. You might want to take a cue from the experience of President Abraham Lincoln. While he battled with depression all though, he led the United States through one of the most challenging times in history: The Civil War. Lincoln discovered the art of fining meaning despite his inner turmoil by channeling his efforts outward by uniting the entire nation. He learned the art of endurance. He articulated this attitude and derived meaning from his obstacles.((TheAtlantic: Lincoln’s Greatest Depression)) He discovered purpose and found succor in a more prominent cause higher than his obstacles.

7. Obstacles Can Help You Discover Meaning Beyond Your Inner Troubles

Just like Lincoln, you can find your purpose when you cease from peering at your troubles and begin to seek how you can make others happy. You can rise above your obstacles by lifting others. This strategy is one of the best approaches to deal with depression. It is a way of starving your problems of time so you can focus on others suffering. Here's the added advantage! Focusing outward will enable you to improve inward.

7 Ways to Overcome Obstacles in Life

Now that you know the significance of obstacles, here are 7 ways you can turn them into stepping stones.

1. Find Out What's Limiting You

Sit down and assess your limiting factors. What are the obstacles standing between you and your goals? Figure out why you are not meeting the deadline. Avoid dredging up your list of complaints as it will eventually culminate into excuses. For instance, if you said,' I don't have sufficient time,' reflect on what you spend your time and energy on. Your limiting factors could be procrastination, complacency, or external events. If you said, 'I don't have enough funds,' this is most times related to priorities. Your immediate challenge may be a lack of motivation or time, or you need to commit to learning how to earn extra income and reduce your expenses.

2. Review the Obstacle's Timeline

How long have you been dealing with the challenge? What attitude or habit is hindering you from overcoming the obstacles? Finding answers to these questions will enable you to make the right changes. For instance, if you changed your job, there could be something about your new job or workplace that is challenging you. It could be the fact that you need to cope with a new environment. Reflect on the different obstacles you have faced in life. Whether you work over them or not, take a cue from your experience and apply the lessons in dealing with new challenges.

3. Determine What's Beyond You

Some challenges are beyond you. They are so daunting that you don't have a clue on how to overcome them. Perhaps, you are even afraid or weak to the bone. It shouldn't be the end of the world. Just take a deep breath and list those things you can control, such as:

• Your habits
• How much energy you exert
• Your decision when you are offered an opportunity
• Your lifestyle-exercise, diet, and relaxation, all of which affect your mood and personal disposition

Focus on what you can control. Start by cultivating all the good habits to have in life.

4. Break Your Goals Down

Giant stride is not about taking one leap to the top of the highest mountain; it is about boldness to pursue your goals in the face of oppositions. It's reasonable to break your goals into bits and develop a checklist to figure out the obstacles hindering you from actualizing the first box. For instance, if you aspire to be the best copywriter in the world, one impending obstacle is to enroll and follow through an online course. Thus, your new goal can be to apply for an online class on copywriting. You can surmount this obstacle by opening your Google browser right now.

5. Maintain an Active Plan

Always work with a to-do list. Begin your day with what you have to do and achieve your goal. Recognize that there will be obstacles and distractions. The lessons from facing obstacles will help you to adapt your plan in finding the best strategy to achieving your goals.

6. Improve Your Problem-Solving Skills

If you tend to make decisions base on your instincts, you may try to be more analytic. Here are some strategies you can adopt to making a decision: Worst case scenario: If I enroll for the copywriting course and I fail, where would I end up? Design a backup plan for this eventuality. Cost-benefit analysis: What would I gain if I complete the copywriting course. Assess if the benefits are worth the sacrifices.

7. Track Your Progress

As you pursue your goals, keep a journal of your successes and challenges. Establish milestones and compensate yourself when you complete each milestone. There are four steps you can take to track your progress.

Final Thoughts

Obstacles give life meaning. As long as you are on the face of the earth, you will keep facing challenges. It's up to you to change your perspectives and deal with obstacles with the right mindset. It's either they become your stepping stones or stumbling blocks. Choose to live your life by design and apply the tips I have shared above to overcome whatever obstacle you are facing. Stay safe, and stay strong!

More Tips on How to Overcome Obstacles

• 8 Things To Do When You Want To Give Up
• 6 Challenges in Life You Must Overcome to Become a Better Person
• 13 Things You Can Do to Build Emotional Resilience

How to Plan for a Healthy Diet for Weight Loss

Amid a million diets, it leaves many people wondering: what does a balanced and healthy diet for weight loss look like? Is it better to eat high fat? Keto? Paleo? While there are many different diets out there and it is true that some work better than others, there are a few staples to weight loss that rings true across the board! If you have been wanting to lose weight for quite some time but are done with short-term and fad approaches, then this article is definitely for you. Be prepared to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way while claiming back your energy like never before!

1. Know the Basics

I know you've heard the term before: calories in vs calories out. While I don't believe that is all there is to weight loss, it does play a part! If you are eating 3000 calories and burning only 2000 throughout the day, you will lose weight. But how exactly do calories work and how do they play into weight loss? The first thing you need to know is this: 3,500 Calories = one pound of fat! That means if you were to eat 500 calories less than you burn, you would lose roughly 1 pound a week. If you were to eat 1,000 calories less, you would burn 2 pounds of body fat a week. Obviously, this isn't all there is to it. If so, it would mean you could eat 1,500 calories of sugar and still lose weight, which is entirely untrue. However, it is important to understand! A lot of people will eat healthily and think calories don't matter. But that's not the truth. If you are eating handfuls of nuts every day, you probably won't lose weight very easily. If you meet most people who say they eat healthily and don't worry about calories, I can almost guarantee you that there are some secrets that they might not even know they are following that help them lose weight effortlessly. I'm about to show you some of those secrets in this article, but make sure you always remember this key. Calories do matter, but the trick is to feed your body in a way that you feel satisfied off of fewer calories so that your body won't trick you into craving more.

2. Understanding Macros

The number one thing I tell people when they want to lose weight is to understand what macros are and how they affect your body. First, what are macros? "Macros" is short for the phrase macro-nutrients. Unlike micro-nutrients (which are the vitamins and minerals your body needs to function), macros are the building blocks your body needs. Each one has a different function.

Protein

Protein is probably one of the most essential for weight loss, for several reasons. First, it boosts your metabolism by 15-30%((HealthLine: 10 Easy Ways to Boost Your Metabolism (Backed by Science)))In addition to that, the more muscle you have, the higher your BMR (how many calories you burn at rest). Since protein is the direct "building block" for muscle, it can help you lose weight more long term. In addition to those benefits, protein is digested slowly, which helps balance your blood sugar and reduce cravings throughout the day.((HealthLine: 10 Science-Backed Reasons to Eat More Protein)) So yes, protein is extremely important! However, if you are vegan or vegetarian, don't lose heart. There are still plenty of high-protein foods you can enjoy while on a meat-free diet.

Carbs

Woah woah woah! Don't go carb bashing just yet! As it turns out, carbs are an essential part of daily living!((Reid Health: Carbohydrates 101: The benefits of carbohydrates)) The problem, however, is that most people don't know how to eat carbs while maintaining stable blood sugar. More on that later. But for now, let me just state: carbs are not the bad guy. Carbs are the body's main source of energy, meaning they can actually improve your workouts and help you burn more calories overall. In addition to that, carbohydrates contain fiber, which is essential for good digestion. And yes, fiber can help you lose weight as well by keeping you feel full throughout the day. Vegetables, which are comprised mostly of carbs, can contain many essential micronutrients that are necessary to lose weight long-term. That being said, carbs are notoriously bashed for causing weight gain and that is true IF you are getting them from the wrong sources. However, carbs from the right sources can be extremely beneficial to weight loss.

Fats

Fats, much like carbs, can sometimes have a bit of a bad rap, although diets like keto and Atkins have slowly been changing that. Fats are much higher in calorie density than any other macro, which means that a little bit can go a long way. Just four tablespoons of oil contain 480 calories, which is the same as 10 cups of watermelon! You can see how fats can easily get out of control on a weight loss diet. However, they also contain a lot of benefits, which means we shouldn't cut them out entirely. Much like carbs, the types of fats have a lot to do with the effect it will have on your body.((EatForHealth.gov: Fat)) However, don't underestimate powerful healthy fats. Omega-3's, for example, are powerful anti-inflammatories and have a range of other health benefits. Fats are actually an essential part of hormone balance as well, which is key for most women on a weight loss plan. These three Macronutrients are all essential. While you can easily cut out one of them for a while, cutting out any macronutrient long term can cause a lot of harm!

Know Your Right Balance!

Now that you know what each macro does and how it benefits you the most, the key is finding out what actually works the best for you! For instance, some people tend to do better on fewer carbs while others thrive on more. However, as a general rule, when trying to lose weight it's best to amp up your protein while slightly reducing both carbs and fats. In other words, fill up on veggies, have healthy fats in moderation, and load up on carbs, like vegetables that have a low caloric density, which leads me to my next point.

3. Eat Foods at Low Caloric Density

I love this point! In fact, when I'm cutting out food, it is the rule of thumb that I live by. Why? The most simple way of explaining it is that I enjoy food! Having a healthy diet for weight loss doesn't have to be a daunting experience. I don't like feeling like I'm walking around on an empty stomach all day. Another pro is that low-calorie foods tend to be full of nutrients, which make me feel amazing! The easiest approach is to sub a few things out of your favorite meals. If you like pasta, for instance, try using veggie noodles as a base instead! You will very likely cut the calories of that meal in half while still eating the same portion size! Go back to my reference of fat: 4 tablespoons of oil has the same amount of calories as 10 cups of watermelon. But which one will help you feel more full? Adding more low-caloric dense foods, like vegetables, will help you feel full and satiated while still helping you get to the results you want!

4. Master Blood Sugar Balance

If you really want to become a fat-burning machine, it means mastering your blood sugar! What is blood sugar? Blood sugar is the main source of energy (or sugar) found in your blood.((Revifi.net: What Is Blood Sugar Imbalance?)) It comes from the food you eat, and it is essential at certain levels. However, spikes in blood sugar can cause a huge problem! Foods that are absorbed quickly will cause blood sugar spikes and trigger an insulin response. This response will trick your body into storing more body fat and will create a sudden "drop" in blood sugar making you feel tired and hungry. Think of a time when you were a little kid and overdid it on the sugar! For a while, you had a surge of energy and felt unstoppable. But soon after, you felt tired, lethargic, and emotional. You just wanted more sugar! The same thing happens in our adult bodies when we have sugar, white bread, or other high glycemic foods. To keep it simple, it's best to avoid sweeteners, white flour, white rice (any white food really), and other high glycemic foods entirely. Instead, get the majority of your carbs from vegetables and whole grains (like quinoa, brown rice, or whole oats). To become a powerhouse, make sure you add plenty of protein and moderate amounts of fats to each meal. Since these foods are digested slowly, they will release a steady stream of glucose and keep you feeling good until lunch. Just using these techniques alone will create a healthy diet for weight loss that you can easily follow! I always tell my clients that this is the number one staple for any type of weight loss. If you have cravings, I can almost guarantee you that this is a primary reason why!

5. Let Water Do the Heavy Lifting

Did you know that if you were to follow a diet high in protein while balancing blood sugar and drinking tons of water, you would most likely lose weight naturally? It's as simple as that, and it's key to a healthy diet for weight loss. Water can help do a lot of the heavy lifting for us by reducing cravings and boosting our metabolism. However, where most people struggle is remembering to drink water throughout the day. After all, we all know it's good for us. Why don't we do it then? For those reasons, instead of telling you to drink more water (you already know that) I'm going to share some of my secrets on how!

Find a Good Electrolyte Mix

Electrolytes are essential minerals in our body, such as potassium, sodium, magnesium, etc. When we drink plenty of water or workout, our body can get easily depleted of the electrolytes we need and making us feel thirstier. I can't speak for everyone on this, but I can say that for myself when I've depleted my electrolytes, drinking water feels unappealing. Adding electrolytes is a quick and easy fix that makes water feel more quenching. My trick is to add some electrolytes to my water bottle before I leave for the day. That leaves me craving water MORE, and it makes water more satisfying. Of course, this naturally leads to me drinking more water throughout the day. One key is to make sure you find one without sugar. There are plenty of good brands out there that sweeten theirs with Stevia or are even entirely unsweetened. My favorite type comes in a bottle and is unsweetened.

Find a Large Water Bottle With a Straw

If it's easy to access, we're more likely to have it! This principle comes into play when we try and keep the candy trays off of our desks. However, the reverse also comes into play with things we should have! Keeping a large water bottle nearby with a straw will make it easy to sip throughout the day without keeping you from your work. My favorite ones are about a gallon in size, making it easier for me to sip without even realizing it!

Step up Your Water Game

I'll be honest, I don't really like to sweeten my water because it tends to make me crave more sugar. For this reason, I recommend using simple water flavors to give your water a boost. If you have a good cold bottle of water with some electrolyte drops and cucumber, you probably won't want to stop sipping away. You can even make flavored water with berries, lemon, mint, and plenty of other great additives! I've found that staying away from sweeteners entirely has made my fitness progress way more successful. If you absolutely HAVE to, I recommend using only water flavors that have stevia and monk fruit in it. Sugar and most artificial sweeteners will most likely send you down the wrong path with your nutrition.

6. Eat Frequently

Starvation diets don't work. They will leave you hungrier at the end of the day and will only slow down your progress. Make eating healthy meals a priority! That doesn't necessarily mean you have to follow the 6 small meals rule of thumb, but it does mean that you should be careful not to eat skimpily throughout the day only to binge at night

7. Lastly, Track Your Progress

Wait, isn't this an article about a healthy diet for weight loss? Absolutely! But one thing to remember is that psychology plays a huge roll in reaching your goals! If you really want to get to where you want to be, it means keeping yourself motivated! Set a goal for yourself that excited and motivated. What is the one thing that excites you? What would change if you reached your goal? How is not being at your goal affecting your life? These are the questions you need to ask yourself and always remember before starting on your journey. Keep track of where you are but in moderation. The best way is to track your body fat percentage once a week. This will keep you from getting discouraged and will show you how much body fat you are losing, even if you might be gaining some good weight from muscle.

Final Thoughts

I'm excited for your journey to health! Making a decision to live a healthier lifestyle is a pivotal part of most people's lives. I can promise you that you won't regret it!

More Tips for Weight Loss

• 3 Diet Hacks to Help You Lose 10 Pounds in 21 Days
• High Protein Diet: The Best Weight Loss Diet For Meat Lovers
• 15 Healthy Recipes for Dinner (For Fast Weight Loss)

How to Get Things Done: A Step-by-Step Guide

There are always those days when 24 hours a day seem too little for you to finish all that you wanted to accomplish. The biggest question for a person with a lot of responsibilities on their shoulder is how to get things done before they are overdue. Not being able to check off everything you had planned for the day can worsen your productivity due to the feeling of failure. At the end of the day, there are only so many hours in a day. The only thing you can control is how you manage this time for maximum efficiency and minimal stress. This 7 step guide along with some bonus tips will tell you exactly how to get things done without going through a mental breakdown once every day!

Step 1: An Effective To-Do List

Getting things done is impossible if you don’t know all the things that need to be done. What this means is that you need to have an organized plan of what the tasks are, when they’re due, what’s their order of priority, etc. The best, easiest, and most effective method of organizing your work tasks is to make to-do lists. Yes, not one, but multiple to-do lists. Generally, workplaces assign you tasks for the whole month or sometimes more. You know the goals that need to be accomplished over this period. So, what you should do is make a monthly to-do list with all these deadlines and tasks. Next, break down the work per week. Which parts of which tasks will you tackle through the 4 weeks? Then, make it more detailed as you come down to your daily to-do list. In these lists, add the aspect of time as well. For example, if on the Thursday of the first week you have planned a meeting with the boss, mention how long you think it can take. This way you won’t over-schedule or under-schedule certain days. One pro tip for making to-do lists is to add enough detail to have clarity of what you need to do. However, do not over-complicate them by adding too much information. A hefty to-do list can be intimidating and demotivating.((Forbes: How to Write a To-Do List That You’ll Actually Stick To))

Step 2: Get in the Mood to Work

You know how there are times when you’re so ready to work - during these times, you can literally get done with the hardest tasks without budging an eye. How does that happen? Well, it’s all about your mind. If it’s ready to work, you’ll get the boost you need automatically. So, why not put in a small amount of time to prep your mind so that the rest of your workday goes on smoothly? Whatever has been bothering you or keeping you preoccupied, get rid of it. Let’s say you’re super excited about your birthday that’s coming up in the next week. Do not let it distract you during work. For that, you can start the day with 5 to 10 minutes of meditation. It will also help you practice mindfulness for better focus. You can also exercise, walk, or run to freshen up your body. Eat a filling breakfast so that you don’t lose your energy until lunchtime. Another thing you can do to prepare your mind that it’s time to work  is to dress for it. Take a shower, wear comfortable but fresh clothes, spritz some perfume, do your hair, and put on some shoes. Your brain will automatically shift gears and encourage you to work, and this will help you to get things done.

Step 3: Set up Your Space

Your surroundings can work your productivity immensely. Have a well-set workspace. Well-set doesn’t mean it needs to be fancy, but you must have all essentials within reach. Things like your laptop, its charger, a snack, water, your to-do list, a pen, notebook, and other necessities should be within reach. Also, add the things that make you feel more comfortable, such as a candle, a table lamp, etc. On the other hand, distractions should be cleared out. Keep your mobile phone silent or log out of your social media accounts.

Step 4: Get Done With the Hardest Tasks First

There’s this metaphor ‘eating the frog’ and a lot of experts have written books and articles about it. It is a concept to boost productivity which suggests getting done with the most challenging tasks first.((Brian Tracy: Eat That Frog)) You should implement the same strategy. Prioritize the tasks that need more work over the easier ones. Getting the hardest task out of your way early on in the day will give you a sense of relief. Once the ‘big’ thing of the day is done, it is way easier to focus your energy on the easier and lesser important jobs. It also gives you a sense of accomplishment, which is the right energy booster you need to get things done. Also, your energy and motivation are usually the highest at the beginning of the day. So that is the perfect time to push yourself.

Step 5: Delegate What You Can

If you’re familiar with the idea of delegation, you should put it to use. There’s a high chance that you can distribute your workload without compromising the output. However, if you opt for delegation, make sure to delegate the right tasks only. Only then will you be able to manage more work in a shorter time. Otherwise, you’ll have to spend more time correcting others’ mistakes.

Step 6: Get Done With the Short and Quick Tasks

This step is the second part of prioritizing your tasks. Once the most challenging job is out of the way, quickly move onto things that you can get done within the shortest time. This strategy allows you to tick off more in lesser time. So, for example, let’s say you have 10 tasks for the day and 5 of them are quick and easy things that you can get done within an hour or two. Once you’re done with these tasks, you’ll be left with half of the workload with plenty of time to get it done. The brain will see it as a win and give you the motivation to push yourself to get done with the rest too.

Step 7: Turn Off Work When You’re Done for the Day

One major part of being able to do things is to keep yourself from getting exhausted. Do not over-burden yourself. When you’re done for the day, switch off your work side. Even if you were able to manage the tasks of the day earlier than the finishing office time, give yourself that free time. Relax whenever you can. Treat yourself when you deserve it. Turning off is very important to be able to restart the next day.

Bonus Tips

This was the step-by-step process of doing things. However, amid this process, there are a few other things to keep in mind too. These bonus tips will keep your work morale high throughout. Firstly, take care of yourself. There are quite a few things to consider here. You should be fresh, healthy, well-fed, well-slept, and your basics should be covered so that you can focus on your work with your full potential. Unless you’re healthy, you cannot produce useful outputs.((Sleep.org: How Sleep Can Help You Be More Productive at Work)) Take enough breaks. Working non-stop is the biggest paradox because a person thinks they’ll get more done by forcing themselves to work every second through the office hours. But it actually drains your mind and body. Once again, you are unable to generate good work. So, give your mind and body a few minutes to refresh after every couple of hours. Next, have room for flexibility in your to-do lists. An urgent task can always pop-up. Deadlines can be pushed forward for whatever reason. It is expected for things like this to happen. So, if you don’t have the option to reschedule your to-do list, your entire routine will mess up. Lastly, don’t over-stress. Focus on the task at hand only. Things that are to follow should be thought about when you’re working on them. The task at hand is where your complete attention and time should be going. Being all over the place will only waste your time.

Bottom Line

In conclusion, let’s not forget that we’re all humans. No two humans are the same despite the similar psychic we all have. This step-by-step guide is a general example of how a smooth workday can be planned. However, a few tweaks here and there may help you improve this process even more for yourself. Feel free to experiment with whatever you think will work best for you. With the general idea behind this step-by-step guide in mind, you can easily find a way to get things done as per your needs. As long as you keep the idea behind each step intact, you can go about it any way you prefer. So, don’t waste any more time procrastinating or stressing out. Get all your tasks finished promptly by implementing this work strategy for maximum efficiency!

More Tips on Getting Things Done

• How To Be Super Organized And Quickly Get Things Done
• 7 Wise Ways to Find Focus and Get Things Done
• How To Stop Procrastinating and Get Stuff Done

23 Books About Racism to Inspire You to Embrace Race and Do Good

Written by some of the most influential authors in the world, these books about racism will touch your heart in the most unexpected way. With a focus on different angles of racism and its effects((Journal on Race, Inequality, and Social Mobility in America: Investigating Vigilance: A New Way to Account for the Account for the Effects of Racism on Health Inequities)) on society, each book would surely instill in you the significance of the Black movement and why it is essential to put an end to racism in order to contribute to the wellbeing of humanity. Hopefully, after reading one of the books I’ve listed, you’ll find in yourself the desire to push the conversation around race in a positive direction. This list incorporates such worthwhile books that have been included on the highly esteemed New York Times Best Seller list. Furthermore, these books have enjoyed their fair share of glory as they were deemed profoundly insightful and motivational by the likes of magazines such as Publishers Weekly. Educating and enlightening our readers on how to deal with racism has been my primary aim of creating this list. The books included here inspire individuals to embrace their skin color so that they can prompt others to stand up against racism and collectively work their way to completely uproot it.

1. How to Be an Antiracist

A New York Times Bestseller, this book by Ibram X. Kendi lays out a practical methodology to eradicate racism and completely uproot it from our chauvinist society. Buy this book!

2. The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness

This compelling book by Michelle Alexander accentuates the devastating truth about the US criminal justice system and how it discriminates and disregards the African American community of the US. Buy this book!

3. The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America

One of the Publishers Weekly’s 10 Best Books of 2017, The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein exposes the US government and how it carried out racist segregation in the many metropolitan areas of the United States. Buy this book!

4. White Rage

This riveting piece of work by Carol Anderson, which happens to be a New York Times Notable Book of the Year, singles out the powerful mass forces that were antagonistic towards the development of the African American community in the US. Buy this book!

5. Between the World and Me

Another New York Times Bestseller, Ta-Nehisi Coates' book outlines the critical elements for enabling the reader to understand the history of the United States and what factors led to the ongoing racial crisis. Buy this book!

6. Stamped From the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America

Stamped From the Beginning is a deeply researched account in which the author, Ibram X. Kendi, jots down the story of anti-black racist ideas and their tremendous effect on the African American community throughout US history. Buy this book!

7. Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

Beverly Daniel Tatum illustrates a veracious picture of a typical high school where students of different races are clustered in their own groups, thus, emphasizing that interracial communication is vital. Buy this book!

8. Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race

This book by Reni Eddo-Lodge highlights how futile it is to discuss racism with individuals who are ignorant about its severity. Furthermore, the author offers an essential framework to tackle racism. Buy this book!

9. So You Want to Talk About Race

Ijeoma Oluo offers her perspective on racism in the US and addresses issues such as police brutality, the Black Lives Matter movement, and privilege. Buy this book!

10. The Color of Water

In this book by James McBride, the winner of the National Book Award for Fiction, the author re-enacts his mother’s story, depicting her journey and all the hardship she had to endure when she migrated to America. Buy this book!

11. The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row

This book by Anthony Ray Hinton and Lara Love Hardin features a compelling story of a man who was wrongfully incarcerated for a crime he didn’t commit. The book showcases that, in the end, love trumps all. Buy this book!

12. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

This enthralling chronicle by Maya Angelou depicts the gut-wrenching story of the author, what she had to deal with when she was sent off to live with her grandmother, and how fitting words can make everything right. Buy this book!

13. The Autobiography of Malcolm X

In one of Time’s ten most influential nonfiction books by Malcolm X and Alex Haley, Malcolm X narrates the remarkable story of his life, the augmentation of the Black Muslim movement, and his take on the restrictions and lies of the American Dream. Buy this book!

14. The Bluest Eye

Toni Morrison wrote this gripping account of a young black girl who yearns for blond hair and blue eyes to fit into society. This book offers a much-needed reality check and asks some essential questions around race. Buy this book!

15. Becoming

This book enjoyed a staggering first spot on New York Times Bestseller’s list. Michelle Obama, one of the most influential women of our era, narrates the mesmerizing experiences that molded her persona and enabled her to be the first African American First Lady of the US. Buy this book!

16. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption

From the New York Times Bestseller’s list, this book by Bryan Stevenson is an indelible account of a young lawyer and his commendable efforts in pursuing true justice. His first case was that of an innocent young man who was on a death row for a murder he didn’t commit. Buy this book!

17. The Underground Railroad

Winner of the deemed Pulitzer Prize, The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead features the life of Cora, a slave, and the hurdles she had to face, particularly when she decided to escape. Buy this book!

18. The Warmth of Other Suns

This book by Isabel Wilkerson happens to be a National Book Critics Circle Award Winner. In this chronicle, Isabel Wilkerson relates the stories of black citizens of the US and their search for a better life. Buy this book!

19. The Nickel Boys

Winner of the Kirkus Prize, this story by Colson Whitehead is an account of Elwood Curtis, a black boy who was unjustly incarcerated in a juvenile center known as Nickel Academy, and how, consequently, his life became a living hell. Buy this book!

20. The Souls of Black Folk

This book by W.E.B. Du Bois is the pioneering edifice that helped pave the foundation of African American literature. It played a pivotal part in the development of strategies that orchestrated the early 20th-century black protests in the US. Buy this book!

21. Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do

This book by Jennifer L. Eberhardt explores the issue of racism and deduces how racial bias has failed American society. It is a pivotal read for anyone who is even mildly interested in the current Black movement in the US. Buy this book!

22. Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affect Us and What We Can Do

Claude M. Steele renders the first-hand experience of his research on American stereotypes, such as the athletic superiority of black men, and provides a means of reshaping American identities. Buy this book!

23. 12 Years a Slave

This book by Solomon Northup tells of the real-life encounter of Solomon Northup, a free man in New York, and how he was kidnapped, drugged, and sold as a slave. This book also proved to be the edifice on which the Academy-Award winning movie 12 Years a Slave was produced. Buy this book!

Final Thoughts

This comprehensive list incorporates some of the most acclaimed books on racism, offering in-depth insight on these issues. Furthermore, these books will cultivate the fervor you need to fight racism and completely curb it.

More Insightful Books

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