Looking for love is an exciting adventure. You get to meet new people, go out and have fun dates, and maybe, just maybe, meet the love of your life. But dating can also be a huge bummer, and there are times when the journey is more frustrating than fun, especially as you get older. Instead of focusing on having an enjoyable night out, you're wondering why you can't seem to find Mr. or Ms. Right. To get a great relationship, you have to be willing to put in the work. But what should you do when you feel yourself giving up on love? Don't let your desire for love burn out! Here are six reasons you shouldn't give up on love.
1. Love Teaches Lessons
Going through another failed relationship can be a frustrating, heartbreaking, and depressing experience. But remember that timing is everything. Just because that love is over doesn't mean love is over for you. Instead of viewing your failed relationships as wastes of time, make a list of everything you learned from that relationship. Perhaps you learned how to talk about your feelings and be vulnerable with someone else, and maybe you learned that looks aren't everything. If the relationship was a toxic one, maybe you learned that you're stronger than you think.((Marriage.com:
What Is a Toxic Relationship and Major Types of Toxic Partners)) Maybe you learned what you don't want and will not tolerate in your future relationships. Whatever the case may be, take the lessons that love gives you and treasure them.
2. You Have the Time to Grow
Your single years are all about learning who you are and growing from each experience you go through. If your ultimate goal is to
get married, why not use this time to grow and develop skills and traits that would make you a great husband or wife? For example:
- Can you cook?
- Do you have a job?
- Can you handle your finances well?
- Do you have your own house/apartment?
- Are you patient?
- Do you know how to express your feelings well?
- Do you have selfish tendencies?
These are better than simply giving up on love. Now is the time to do some self-exploration and work out who you want to be for yourself, your friends, family, and your future partner.
3. Now Is the Time for You
There is no better time to be a little selfish with your pursuits, energy, and focus than while you are single. Now is the time for you to take strides toward your dream career, to travel, and to focus on your social life. Of course, you can still do these things when you are in a relationship, but love has the potential to be limiting. There's no doubt that it's worth it, but you can't travel the world for months on end when you're helping your partner pay a mortgage or raising a family. At least, you can't do it as easily as you would when you are single.
Friendships are also important. These are the people who have supported you through every good and bad decision you've ever made. They were your shoulder to cry on when your relationships ended, and your dates ended up being duds. Use this time as an excuse to focus on yourself and find out who you are when you aren't part of a "We." Not only will this be good for your mental health and personal growth, but your confidence in yourself will also be incredibly appealing to your future partner.
4. You Deserve More Than Settling
If you want to find real love, you must be willing to stick it out for your perfect person instead of settling! When you wait to find that perfect person for you, you ensure that your personalities will gel. Finding real love is about:
- Spending quality time together
- Learning the art of communication
- Sharing similar goals and beliefs (though- they say opposites attract!)
Finding real love is also about finding someone you're attracted to, who makes you laugh, and respects you. If you haven't found that yet, then why settle? You deserve the best relationship possible, so don't give up on love yet. If it takes waiting a little while longer to find someone who hits all the checkmarks on your list, why not wait?
5. Things Worth Doing Are Rarely Easy
Think about it. The best things in life - the things that make you feel accomplished, proud of yourself, and inspired to do better are always difficult; Getting a degree, running with endurance, getting fit/losing weight, breaking a bad habit, learning something new like scuba diving or how to speak another language... These are all things that take time to accomplish, but you feel so satisfied when you've completed that challenge. The same can be said for finding the right relationship. Deciding to wait for someone who fulfills you instead of dating the first person who asks all because you're lonely takes strength. It takes courage to break up with someone you love but who is ultimately bad for you. It takes effort to be patient. But you'll be glad that you did.
6. It Only Takes One
I remember telling my mother I was lonely. Agonizingly lonely. And do you know what she told me?
"It only takes one." These magic words couldn't be truer. Your date last Friday sucked, and you'll never see that guy again, but you know what? The next guy could be the one. That next date could be the time where you feel chemistry like no other. It only takes one person to steal your heart away and change your world. Think about it. You could meet the love of your life in a week and be with them for the rest of your life. If that happens, wouldn't you rather look back on the time when you were single and remember that you were happy? That you enjoyed your time alone? Your single years could be a blip on the radar in comparison to the years you'll share with your husband or wife. So enjoy it. Don't give up on love - because it only takes one.
Final Thoughts
Finding love isn’t always easy. It can be discouraging and may even feel like a full-time job sometimes – but don’t give up! Resilience is the key to finding love. Enjoy the journey and focus on self-care and personal growth and absorb the lessons each relationship and each new date has to teach.
What to Read When You Feel Like Giving Up on Love
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